A/N: Soooooo sorry for the non-update I got involved with the other 98345398 stories I'm writing but I'm back on this one…..hope someone is still willing to read!
Four weeks had passed since Elliot's son was born and he had not been back to work yet. Olivia was somewhat thankful for this fact. The last time she saw him was the night Eli was born and things were less than perfect between them. She was a little surprised that he hadn't tried to call her and yet she was glad at the same time. She felt so screwed up inside. She pushed him away and then felt sad and angry that she hadn't heard from him. What the hell was wrong with her she wondered to herself? She knew she would face him today, however, as he was due back to work. Her stomach was in knots at the thought of seeing him and she also had butterflies at the thought of seeing him. She missed him terribly. She missed them. She assumed she hadn't heard from him because he was so caught up in the new baby and he most likely realized that what happened between them was a huge mistake and didn't know how to tell her.
She suddenly was distracted from her thoughts, as she heard loud voices coming from the squad room. She made her way out there and saw him standing there. Elliot. Looking at him, it felt like no time had passed at all, and at the same time she felt as if it had been forever. She never believed that old saying "absence makes the heart grow fonder" but she did now. Just seeing him, Olivia had a feeling of calm and happiness come over her.
Everyone was shaking Elliot's hand and congratulating him on the new baby. Olivia stood in the background, knowing Elliot had not yet seen her. She wondered if she could sneak out somehow and actually avoid him. As happy as she was to see him, she didn't want to face him. She realized it hurt too much to see him. She quickly turned around to leave but was stopped by an all too familiar sound.
"Hey," Elliot said.
Putting on a cheery face, Olivia turned around and said, "Hey! Great to see you back."
"It's good to be back," Elliot responded.
"So..umm..how's the baby?" Olivia asked trying to keep the conversation going.
"He's great! I have pictures. I'll show them to you later…I mean if you want."
"Of course I do," Olivia replied in her most convincing voice.
She didn't want to seem like a bitch and as much as she did want to see pictures of Elliot's child, she really wasn't interested in seeing pictures of Kathy's child. Sadly, they were one in the same and she felt like a bitch for feeling that way.
"Okay good. Lunch later?" Elliot asked.
"Umm..yeah sure I guess," Olivia reluctantly responded.
Elliot turned to go back to his desk to get caught up on everything he had missed for the past four week.
"El wait," Olivia said stopping him in his tracks.
He turned around to face her and saw nothing but sadness in her face. "What's wrong Liv?" He asked concerned.
"El, I can't do this. You come in here after four weeks and act like we're just friends as usual. You are acting like we didn't have an affair or that you didn't tell me you loved me. I don't get this, I don't get you," Olivia said as she left the room heading for the roof.
Olivia made it to the roof, threw open the door and began panting. She felt like she was suffocating downstairs with Elliot. The cool air felt good. She knew this day would be hard facing Elliot, but didn't realize how hard until she actually faced him. Why was he speaking to her like an old friend who he hadn't seen in a few weeks? Was he sorry about everything? She knew she needed to be strong for whatever was about to happen. She knew Elliot well enough to know that within minutes he would be on that roof with her begging her to talk to him. Sure enough not five minutes had passed when the door to the roof flew open.
Olivia watched as Elliot walked over to her. She just stared at him, thinking about everything they had been through, everything they had been to each other, said to each other she turned around because she couldn't even face him anymore. She heard him walk up behind her and she shivered from head to toe as he placed his hands on her shoulders.
"I've missed you," he said leaning in whispering into her ear.
God Olivia thought four weeks had passed and this man could still turn her on by whispering into her ear. She felt like she needed to be strong and push him away, but she knew damn well when it came to Elliot she was extremely weak.
"Elliot don't, please," Olivia pleaded.
"Don't what Liv? Don't tell you I've missed you or don't do this?" he asked as he latched his lips onto her neck and began kissing her feverishly.
"Shit Elliot," Olivia moaned.
Finally gathering enough strength to say no to Elliot, Olivia pulled away and turned around to face Elliot. She couldn't help but smile at him when she looked into those eyes, those eyes that made her heart melt, those eyes that she missed so much.
"I'm sorry for downstairs, Liv. It's just, last time we saw each other things were weird and I saw you that night in your window and I know you saw me and just turned out your light. I figured you hated me or something," Elliot explained.
"Sometimes I wish I could hate you Elliot," Olivia shot back.
"Really?" Elliot asked somewhat surprised.
"Yeah, my life would be a hell of a lot easier if I wasn't in love with you but it would be even better if I hated you, but I can't hate you and you know it."
"I'm not gonna lie, I'm damn glad you don't hate me, Liv," Elliot said closing the gap between them.
Olivia placed her hands on Elliot's chest to stop him from moving any closer to her. The close proximity was driving her insane. She wanted him. That kiss on the neck, the whisper in the ear, just him standing in front of her was turning her on. She felt it to her core and she wanted it to stop but wasn't willing to do the one thing to make it stop, walk away.
"Elliot what do you want from me? Why did you follow me up here? I haven't heard from you in weeks. I figured you and Kathy were bonding over the new baby and everything was back to normal."
Laughing, Elliot said, "Normal? Liv I don't what the hell normal is anymore. Nothing has been normal since that first night we were together and nothing's been the same since then. I can't get you out of my head or my heart. I spent the last four weeks with my new baby and my wife and as awesome as being with Eli was, you were all I thought about."
Olivia knew that Elliot was putting himself out there, exposing his vulnerability by admitting all of this to her. He was saying everything she wanted and needed to hear. He missed her. She's in his heart. She knows he's being honest and yet nothing about any of this feels honest to her. It feels wrong on so many levels and yet she can't let it go. She can't let him go.
"Jesus Elliot why do you always do that?" Olivia asked.
"Do what?" he asked confused.
"Say all the right things. Say the things you know will melt my heart and make it impossible to walk away from you," Olivia replied wrapping her arms around his neck hugging him tightly. "God I missed you, El."
He looked at her and leaned in to kiss her. He looked for permission and without words he found it. It was in her eyes. He kissed her passionately and she returned the kiss just as fiercely. Their tongues fought for dominance. He wanted her so bad right now, he thought about taking her right there on the roof but thought better of it.
He broke the kiss whispering in her ear, "Let me come home with you tonight."
Olivia pushed him away and started to walk away. Elliot grabbed her arm pulling her back.
"Don't run away from me Olivia," Elliot said.
"El, please. I'm not running….I'm just…I don't know what I am anymore," Olivia sighed.
"Just let me come over tonight and we'll talk. We'll figure this out, I promise. Please?" Elliot asked practically begging.
"Elliot you and I both know what will happen if you come over tonight. You and I will end up in bed and it will be great and then you will get up and leave like you always do. I don't know if I can do that," she explained.
"We'll end up in bed huh?" Elliot said smirking.
"Wipe that grin off your face Elliot. You and I both know that's what will happen."
"And that would be bad?" Elliot asked.
"No, that's the problem Elliot, it would be amazing. Nothing about being with you is bad, except everything about us being together is wrong on so many levels."
"Olivia," Elliot said taking her hand in his. "I can't let you go. Just tell me if I show up at your apartment tonight, you won't slam the door in my face."
"I could never slam the door in your face Elliot, that's part of the problem," she said as she walked to the door of the roof to go back downstairs.
Elliot stood on the roof wondering what the hell he was doing to Olivia. He could see the pain in her eyes this was causing her. He knew he was being selfish but he didn't care. He wanted Olivia, he couldn't let her go. He sighed as he walked to the door of the roof and back downstairs to work.
8 p.m that night
Olivia was lying on the couch in a pair of shorts and a t-shirt watching TV. She figured Elliot would have been there by now if he was showing up. She assumed he either changed his mind or things got crazy with the baby. A part of her was disappointed, although she made such a stink to Elliot about it being wrong. She then heard a knock at the door. Her stomach was in knots as she got up to answer it.
"Hey," Elliot said as she opened the door.
"Hey. I figured you weren't coming. Did you even go home?" Olivia asked noticing he was still wearing his suit from work.
"Nah, catching up on some paperwork then came straight here," Elliot explained as he walked through the door.
"You want a beer?" Olivia asked as she walked to the kitchen.
"Yeah, sure thanks," Elliot replied as he took off his jacket and sat down on the couch.
Olivia handed him the beer and sat down next to him. They sat there in silence for what was actually five minutes and yet felt like forever.
"Shit!" Olivia finally spoke.
"What?" Elliot asked.
"What the hell are we doing? It's like we don't even know what to say to each other? When have we ever been in a room together and not spoke for five minutes? This is ridiculous." Olivia said.
"So what'd ya wanna do about it?" Elliot asked.
"I know what I want to do. What are you asking me what I want to do or what I think we should do?" Olivia asked.
"Both, I guess." Elliot replied.
"Well, what we should do is end this right now and do the right thing for everyone and you should leave. What I want to do is rip all your clothes off and let you make love to me all night cause I have missed you and your touch so much it hurts," Olivia said as she got off the couch and headed for her room.
Elliot quickly got off the couch and followed behind her. He grabbed her arm swinging her around pushing her against the wall.
He leaned in close and whispered, "Tell me you want me to go and I will."
Olivia grabbed Elliot's face and pulled him in for a kiss. It was rough and hot. She began to loosen his tie as he went for her ass. He had easy access as her shorts were practically riding up at this point. His hands went up the back of her shirt and he when he realized she had no bra on, his dick twitched. Olivia rid Elliot of his tie and began working on the buttons of his shirt as he attached his lips to her neck and began sucking. Although she felt like passing out from pleasure, Olivia still managed to continue with Elliot's buttons.
Olivia touched Elliot's abs, circling her figures around them. She then ran her hands up his bare chest pushing his shirt over his shoulders letting it fall to the floor.
"God, Liv," Elliot grunted.
Elliot moved his hands from Olivia's back to the hem of her shirt. She lifted her arms as he pulled her shirt over her head. He ran his hands through her hair as he kissed her neck, her lips then ran his hands down her neck to her clavicle to her breasts taking in all of her.
Olivia's hands found their way back to Elliot's chest as she ran her hands up and down him again and again. She finally stopped at his zipper giving him a smirk. She unzipped his pants and pulled them down along with his boxers leaving them at his ankles. She kneeled down to help him out of them and on her way back up she grazed her mouth over his already hard as a rock dick. She then took the entire thing in her mouth and went to work. She licked, sucked and stroked until she thought Elliot might pass out.
Elliot tangled his hands in Olivia's hair pushing her head closer to him, filling her mouth completely with himself. He never felt so much pleasure in his life.
"God Olivia! That's feels amazing!" He exclaimed as he pulled her up to him once again.
He grabbed her shorts and yanked them down. She stepped out of them, as she stood there completely naked in front of him. He sighed as he took in the sight of the woman he loved. He kissed her again as he pushed her backwards towards her room. The hurriedness and frenzied emotions they had felt before had subsided and now it was just pure passion they were feeling.
Elliot lowered Olivia onto the bed gently. He stroked her hair as he peppered her with kisses. She was soaking wet and aching for Elliot to be inside her. He wanted to take his time. He needed to prove to her after all this time, he still loved her, he still wanted her and it wasn't just about sex. He needed her know that the love he felt for her was the purest thing he has ever felt.
He lined himself up with her core and slid inside her. She moaned and threw her head back. Olivia grabbed the back of Elliot's head and sat up a bit to kiss him. She watched as he pumped in and out of her. She thought it was the hottest thing she'd ever seen.
Elliot continued to slide in and out of Olivia who spread her legs as far as she humanly could. Elliot loved it. She was so tight and so wet, he felt like he could easily die of pure pleasure at that very moment. Olivia continued to writhe beneath Elliot fisting the sheets and screaming his name. She never knew anyone could be so loving and gentle during sex. Who was she kidding this wasn't sex. This was what making love was all about.
"Elliot, God I'm so close keep going baby," Olivia whimpered.
Elliot began to tangle his hand in Olivia's hair again kissing her passionately again. "God Olivia I'm so in love with you right now."
Elliot's words. Elliot's beautiful words they were Olivia's undoing. She fisted the sheets again, threw her head back and screamed Elliot's name. Her toes curled and her body shook. Elliot followed spilling his seed deep inside Olivia.
Elliot rolled off of Olivia both staring at the ceiling and panting.
"That was…holy shit…Liv that was fucking amazing," Elliot said.
"Mmmmm, yes hot," was all Olivia could manage to whimper.
"Now what?" Elliot asked.
A/N: Olivia and Elliot get real honest with each other. Olivia confides in a friend.
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