A short one-shot about Hatter and Alice, I hope you'll like it!
I discovered the show not long ago and literally loved it! The scene takes place when Alice is about to go back through the Looking Glass.
If Hatter's thoughts seem a little confused it's normal, isn't it always like that when you're trying to deal with your feelings?
(Just to warn you, I'm not a native English speaker, so I apologise for the mistakes!)
Enjoy your reading! and remember that a review always makes the author smile =)
Elie
Not My World
He watched her. It was all he could do now, to watch her until she left him, because it was what would obviously happen. She'd leave, walking through the Looking Glass, going back to where she belonged, to her World, a world which wasn't his, a world where he wouldn't be with her.
She was talking with the future king, smiling at him. Albeit it broke Hatter's heart to witness that, he wouldn't turn his eyes away, he'd watch her as much as he could, as long as he could, until her face would be forever fixed in his mind, if it wasn't already done.
He'd watch her until the end, the end of what? Of their story, a story which had never had the opportunity to begin. A story condemned since the beginning, since their eyes met for the first time, to never be.
It had been a futile hope, his futile hope to believe that once the Queen of Heart would be dethroned, Alice might want to stay in Wonderland, with him.
He had hoped she'd turn her back to the Looking Glass, choosing not to go back. He still hoped, although he knew it was impossible, she'd finally envisage to live in Wonderland.
But Alice didn't belong to here. She was his little oyster, not Wonderland's.
His oyster, in his heart it was so, in hers, he couldn't know. However, if she thought the same as him, she wouldn't leave, would she? She'd stay by his side, or would ask him to come with her, wouldn't she?
Could he go with her? Didn't he belong to Wonderland? He was born and had grown up there. He did belong to here, not to her world. Wouldn't it be stupid for him to follow her? Totally, for he knew nothing about her world. He didn't know if he'd be able to adapt himself to a new life.
Perhaps he could try to open a shop, because they had tea in the other world, hadn't they? But what kind of tea... would he have his place there?
He clenched his fists. Those thoughts were useless for Alice hadn't asked him to accompany her. She hadn't and he wasn't sure she really wanted him by her side. If she asked, wouldn't it be only out of pity for she knew his home had been ransacked?
Nothing tied him to Wonderland any more, nothing really important, Alice knew it, hadn't he told her himself? But nothing was tying him to her world either. Nothing but her...
His nails dug into his flesh, not enough to draw blood though – it wouldn't be discreet to bleed now.
Hatter needed Alice to think he was all right, then she'd be able to leave without looking back, without being worried about him.
He didn't want her to feel guilty about his shop, he hadn't waited for her to have problems.
Suddenly, he ducked behind an oyster, Alice had turned in his direction. If he was lucky she hadn't-
"Hatter!"
He should have known better, he had never been a lucky man.
He acted as cheerfully as he could, restraining himself from begging her to stay, from asking her to allow him to come along with her.
How could he have become so infatuated with a woman he had just met? It was a mystery for Hatter usually didn't believe in love, it was something he'd rather flee than willingly yield to.
To love was to suffer, at least that was what he had thought until their meeting.
Now that Alice was about to leave him, that he was about to be freed from that dangerous feeling, he doubted he wanted such a freedom any longer.
He wanted her by his side, no matter the risks, no matter the possibly-future pain, as long as he was with her, Hatter would have no regret.
Was he mad? Yes, as mad as he was sure he loved this woman, as illogical, as unrealistic as it seemed, Hatter had fallen in love with his little oyster.
Mad Hatter, mad.
Would she consider staying for him? He bit his lips. He didn't have the right to ask such a thing from her. Wonderland was his world, not hers. She had to go back.
Mad, Hatter was becoming mad with each passing second.
He saw her walking to the Looking Glass, then averted his eyes when she was pushed through it.
Gone.
Alice was gone. And his heart was broken.
"You look pitiful."
Hatter didn't move. Jack's provocations couldn't even arouse the smallest interest, the smallest anger in him.
He was broken, totally and utterly broken.
"You're acting selfishly. Don't you think she is hurt too?"
What was he trying to say? Was he making fun on him? Hatter frowned. Couldn't Jack see he was already defeated? Couldn't he be satisfied by having had Alice all for himself while Hatter would never be able to hold her again? Did he really need to rub it in?
"I don't want to see your face any more. You're banished from this world."
Hatter raised his head to meet Jack's eyes. Banished? What did that mean? Why? Only because he was broken they didn't want him any more? Was that a new rule? Pain was now forbidden? When had it been decided?
"You've heard me well. Take your stuff and leave."
"Why?" Hatter finally mumbled.
"Because I want her to be happy," was Jack sole explanation.
It took Hatter some time to understand what the king was meaning.
The man had truly loved Alice, and still loved her enough to care about her future.
"Are you sure?"
Jack shrugged. No he wasn't, how could he? But he had the feeling Alice had rejected him not only because of what had happened in Wonderland, but also because of who she had met there. A mad man, owner of a strange teashop, prone to always run into trouble, such a man had made his way under her skin, through her mind to her heart, dethroning him from a place he had never entirely owned.
Hatter glanced at the Looking Glass. Would she be angry if he followed her? There was only one way to find out, but would he dare tempt it? Would he dare take the risk to be rejected? Perhaps Alice didn't want him by her side. Perhaps Jack was wrong and she hadn't asked because she hadn't wanted to, perhaps... Perhaps Hatter should just jump through the damned thing and see whatever fate had in store for him rather than suffering without having even tried to ensure his happiness.
Yes, perhaps he should just switch his mind off and run after her, following his heart rather than his doubts, yielding to his love rather than to his fears.
Her world wasn't his yet, but was Wonderland really where he belonged to? Wasn't his world where she was?
"Thank you," he suddenly said to Jack before running to where Alice had disappeared several minutes ago.
He would find her. He would definitely find her and tell her how much she meant to him.
Hatter jumped through the Looking Glass without looking back.
He had been stupid not to have realised it sooner, Wonderland had stopped being his world the moment Alice had left it.
The End