Hi everyone, here's my new fic. I'm going to be trying to make the chapters reasonably short and sharp. And it's going to be lighthearted - at least that's the plan! Hope my muse cooperates. And it's very likely going to be raunchy, I know, you're surprised right? *big grin*

Disclaimer: I do not own any of these characters, and no infringement is intended.

Brrp brrp.

Emily picked up her vibrating cell. Grimacing at the information on the screen, she pressed ignore. After placing the phone back down on the table, she picked up her beer and took two healthy gulps before emitting a heavy sigh.

JJ watched her friend's antics with amusement. "Okay, so who was that?" She had to speak loudly to compete with Keith Urban's voice crooning about 'why's it feel so long' through the loudspeakers in the crowded bar.

"You don't want to know." At JJ's raised eyebrows, she reiterated, "Trust me, you really don't want to know. Okay, okay, let's just say for our first date he suggested we try line dancing. Really, me, line dancing?"

JJ smiled, taking a sip of her own beer. "Hey, it could've been fun."

"Yeah, sure it could." JJ could make out her sarcastic tone of voice even over the loud music and conversation around them. Emily continued, "You know how I was joking when you were pregnant with Henry that Will was the last viable donor? I really was joking then, but now I'm completely convinced there're no viable single men left."

"Well, there are those three over there." JJ inclined her head towards their teammates. Dave, Derek and Reid were playing darts twenty feet away from them.

"You mean Bashful, Thoughtful and Sleazy?" Emily gave her an are-you-serious look.

JJ choked on her beer. "Oh God, that's hilarious. All right, we need to come up with a game plan. A serious one. Your biological clock is getting dangerously close to running out."

"Gee, thanks Jayj, I feel so much more relaxed now that you've said that. No pressure at all." Emily rolled her eyes.

At that moment, Pene arrived at their table, three neon coloured drinks in tow. "Here we go ladies!"

"PG, what in the world are these?" Emily accepted one that was bright blue. "Actually, don't tell me, I'd rather not know."

"No need to fret, my lovely, all you need to know is that it is guaran-damn-teed to lower your inhibitions and introduce a sense of well-being which we all sorely need at this moment in time." Pene sat down and took a sip of her bright pink cocktail. "Okay, so has JJ told you what we've decided to do?"

"No, what have you decided to do?"

JJ exchanged a look with Pene at the suspicious look Emily threw towards them. "What do you think about the idea of putting a personal ad on a matchmaking site?"

"What? Putting myself on a matchmaking site? No freaking way!" Emily looked horrified.

"Em! Come on, give it a chance," cajoled Pene. "Look, you have nothing to lose. There's a special offer at the moment on 'Two Hearts'. Registration is free, and so is the result of the matches it comes up with. I've checked it out and it's a bona fide site. You're not even obliged to contact anyone. JJ and I will even vet potential suitors for you."

"No, really, the thought of it is just...I'm not comfortable with it." Emily drained the last of her blue cocktail.

It was JJ's turn to persuade her friend. "Em, you don't even have time to meet guys with our work schedule. I think this is actually a really good way of finding that elusive guy. And with Pene as our secret weapon, you don't have to worry about the guy being a serial murderer or sexual deviant. It will be completely safe and anonymous, we won't even include your photo. What do you say?"

Emily wrinkled her nose. "This is totally against my better judgment but all right. Only because I trust the both of you. And I want to see the ad before it gets posted."

Pene cheered loudly, clapping her hands. "You won't be sorry, peaches, I promise! JJ and I will work on the ad this very night and run it by you tomorrow."

JJ watched her dark-haired friend make a face. "I'm kinda regretting this already." To JJ's surprise, Emily's face brightened in the next moment. "But, if we're really going to do this, don't exclude all the sexual deviants, okay? I could really do with some excitement in my sex life."

Right, so please tell me if you enjoyed this so I'll know how hard I should be working to post the next chapter. Next one will be a conversation between the guys, about Hotch, of course!