Hey guys! So I'm new around here, but I love writing so I figured I would give it a shot J

I recently stumbled upon "The Mentalist" and I fell in l-o-v-e with the show and its characters. They're the right amount of silly and sassy and serious and my god! Is Simon baker gorgeous…. Omg. He's like a total eye-gasm in one guy. Yum.

ANYWAYS. So this little number right here popped in my head one day and refused to leave until I typed it. Basic summary?

"Going undercover leaves Lisbon and Jane in a, uh, bonded situation, especially after Lisbon ignores a file on her desk that leaves them with a serious predicament on their hands."

We'll start out after the undercover case in this first chapter, then jump back to right before they went undercover and work forward from there.

Its definitely a T story; I have a potty mouth ;)

k, so without further ado, here we go!

-Remi

disclaimer-i don't own anything you recognize :0)

Xxxxxxxxxx

"Lisbon, can I see you in my office, please?" Madeline Hightower's voice came from the phone on Teresa Lisbon's desk, a small green light flashing by the words LINE ONE.

"Yes ma'am. Do we have a case?" Lisbon grabbed her coffee mug as she put the pen she had been mouthing back in it's container.

"Nope; I just want to tie up some loose ends from the Mazatti Case." Hightower's voice sounded suspiciously skeptical, and Lisbon raised her eyebrow.

"The one where Jane and I went undercover a few months ago?" Hightower made an affirmative noise.

"Well, alright." Lisbon had a sudden nervous feeling in her gut, and she didn't know why. "I'll be down in two minutes."

With that, Lisbon hung up her phone, and made her way downstairs, coffee cup in hand.

Xxxxxxxxxxxx

It had been a relatively stressful week.

Jane had managed to get himself 32 - yes that is thirty-fricking-two- formal complaints during the case this week. Who knew that insulting a room-full of scientists' intelligence could get you so many complaints? Oh, yeah. Jane.

Lisbon had been furious with him, and suspended him from talking to any more people from the laboratory, which, of course, he had ignored. Shocker.

But, he found the missing link in a bottle of some dangerous chemical that Lisbon could barely pronounce, and he had solved the case almost single-handedly.

As per usual.

"See, Lisbon? There is a reason I don't listen when you suspend me."

She could have punched him in the nose. Again.

But, instead, she settled for a no-nonsense death glare and a storming into her office.

He had chuckled.

Damn him.

But, as Lisbon walked into Hightower's office that fateful day, she could not blame Jane for what might be the worst paperwork error ever committed in the history of paperwork errors.

Although Jane was the reason the damned file had been put on the back burner, Lisbon could only blame herself for what had to be the biggest blunder of her professional and personal life.

Xxxxxxxxxxxx

"Lisbon, please come in." Hightower said as the emerald-eyed Agent peeked her head through the door.

"You wanted to talk about the Mazatti Case?" Lisbon asked as she sipped her coffee.

"Yes, I would like to ask you exactly why you haven't finished the paperwork for the undercover assignment." Hightower had a very condescending tone, and it made Lisbon very nervous. Lisbon cocked her head.

"I finished the case report, and had all of the paperwork for putting Jose Mazatti in jail finished on time. I even had Jane's and my names legally returned. The case paperwork is complete." Lisbon took another big swig of her coffee as Hightower began to speak.

"Are you in a relationship with your consultant?"

Lisbon choked on her coffee. Some of it went up her nose.

Through coughs, she managed to sputter out the word "WHAT? No!"

"Then why, exactly, are you still married to Patrick Jane, after three months off of the case?"

"What do you mean still married?" Lisbon was trying desperately to control her coughs, even though there was still coffee in her nose. Dread filled her stomach.

"I was going through your team's files today to check up on paperwork status, and I happened to notice that you had signed off on all of the paperwork on that case, except for the annulment of your undercover marriage to Jane."

Teresa Lisbon went ghost white. Of all the things she could have possibly forgotten to fill out, she just had to forget her annulment papers. And that meant…

"Lisbon, you know that if you and Jane are in a romantic relationship, CBI rules will force me to split your team up. And I seriously do not want to do that because.."

"We're not in any type of relationship outside of a professional one. Never have been." Lisbon purposefully decided to leave out.. Well, we'll get to that later. "I completely accept responsibility to a very serious paper work error. I know how extremely suspicious this looks.."

"No Agent, I don't believe you do"

"Oh, no, trust me, I do. We are not in a relationship, by any means, I swear. I will get this mess cleaned up as soon as possible." Lisbon then turned and darted out of the office.

She headed straight for a leather couch with a certain blonde-haired consultant on it.

Xxxxxxxxxx

Lisbon kicked 'Jane's couch' furiously. Twice.

"Jane! Get your ass up!" He groaned. "Now, damn it!" She let out a frustrated sound.

"You know, my dear Lisbon, that waking an insomniac up during their first good sleep in ages is awfully rude." Jane sat up groggily and absentmindedly picked the sleep out of his eyes.

"I don't give a damn." She then dropped the menacing tone and sighed.

"Jane, we have a big problem." Lisbon sat down on the couch next to him, almost defeatedly.

Jane looked at Lisbon. She looked frustrated.

"Listen, Lisbon, I truly am sorry for the ruckus I caused this past week. I don't regret it, but if you want to suspend me.."

"NO!" Lisbon said a little too sharply. Jane furrowed his brow at her.

"Then what is it, Teresa?" His blue eyes sparkled with concern. They shined almost brightly as they did…

Lisbon mentally shook herself and swallowed.

"Jane," Lisbon shut her eyes and took a deep breath. "We're married."

Jane raised an eyebrow. What the hell was she talking about? They were… what?

"I'm sorry, Lisbon, I don't follow." She put her head in her hands. What had she gotten herself into? She looked at the floor as she explained.

"After the Mazatti case, I forgot to fill out the annulment papers from when we were 'Mr. and Mrs. Sutton'. The annulment papers expired two months ago, meaning that, by California state law, we're married and have been for five months. We're legally bonded together, and we have to get a full divorce, especially since we.." she blushed and coughed, "especially since we, um, consummated the marriage. It will take a few months to get this all straightened out. I am so sorry." She had said the last three sentences barely louder than a whisper.

Jane's eyes became saucers. His first 'marriage' since his wife died and he was getting 'divorced'. Granted, he didn't know he had been married for half of it, and the other half was purely pretend (somewhat), but it was still a little bit sad. He had been hoping for forever the second time, with Red John out of the way. And especially because it was his dear little Lisbon..

Okay, so he was hoping to be married to Lisbon because of love, not because of some damned undercover assignment and a careless paperwork error. He had imagined romantic dates, and kisses goodnight with more to follow and a sparkly ring on her left hand after a private profession of love that had been announced while one of his knees dug into the white sand of a moonlit beach. The same beach that currently held his most sacred memory of his favorite Special Agent.

This situation was not how he had imagined his love affair with Teresa Lisbon to be.

"Alright then." Lisbon said as she stood up. "I'm going to go fix this."

She then walked away briskly, leaving a stunned Jane still sitting on 'his' couch.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Lisbon shut her office door behind her rather forcefully.

Her back against the cool glass, she closed her eyes and used her right hand to lock her door.

She walked to her desk and began rummaging through the -no lie- foot tall stack of manila folders.

She found the one she was looking for , all the way at the bottom of the stack. She gasped as she felt tears come to her eyes unexpectedly.

Clutching the folder to her chest and trying to hold back tears, she ran over to the couch and flopped down unceremoniously.

Softly crying, she buried her head in her pillows on the couch.

"Fuck my life."

Lisbon began to think of the day five months ago that started this catastrophe.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxx

SO.

Jisbon? Married? Consummation? Whuuuut?

And why is Lisbon crying?

Oh, my lovlies, you will see.

Yes, the team will make an appearance; I love Cho and Rigspelt WAY too much not to.

Buckle up, it is going to be a wild ride :D Stay tuned to see how this mess began

Hope you liked it! I liked writing it. Please leave me a review and tell me how I'm doing, because I have no clue whether or not you guys liked it…

Good day!

-Remi