Okay, so I've never written a Skulduggery Pleasant fanfiction before, but I just finished reading Death Bringer and I had this idea stuck in my head since I had a SP Marathon the other week and I figured, "Why not?" There's no real setting. Tanith's in it and Alice is there so I guess it's not really in any specific setting. I miss Tanith, so I wrote her in.

I hope you like it.

It was days like this that Valkyrie knew she wasn't normal.

Days when she was wearing jeans, and had left her reflection in the mirror, and had actually taken the time to go out shopping with her parents and Alice on a lazy Saturday.

It was strange that she noticed her abnormality when she was doing perfectly normal stuff.

Because Valkyrie Cain was bored.

"Stephanie?" Her mother called, interrupting her before she could sigh at the clothes rack in front of her. "What do you think about this one?"

She held up a shirt that looked like it belonged to Austin Powers. If China had been there to see the offensive garment, she would have probably bought it just to burn it.

"Oh," Valkyrie hesitated at the sight of her mothers encouraging smile. "It's… interesting."

"Too much?" Melissa Edgley caught on quick, her face falling at her daughter's expression.

Valkyrie nodded, smiling apologetically. "Just a bit."

"How about this one?" Her mum held up the garment in her other hand. It was worse than the first one.

Valkyrie winced.

Her mother put it back.

"Maybe Desmond had more luck…" Valkyrie heard her suggest hopefully as they made their way out of the shop, turning right to continue down the long row of busy stores.

"He is the sort of man that exudes luck," Valkyrie responded sarcastically, before she could help herself.

It wasn't that she didn't want to be here - she loved spending time with her family, especially because it was a rare occasion for her now - it was more than she wanted to be somewhere else more.

Skulduggery, Ghastly, Fletcher and Tanith were fighting down bad guys and saving the world as she stood there on the pavement… shopping. Shopping for clothes.

"Well," Melissa smiled warmly at her eldest daughter, "there's always a chance he picked up a few things at random. You never know, maybe one of them will be decent enough for the wedding."

"I think we'll be lucky enough if he's managed to keep track of Alice."

"She's only a baby, Steph, she can't exactly wander off…"

They stopped walking and Valkyrie gave her mum a look. "You have met dad, right?"

She laughed.

And then Desmond was back, pushing the pram, baby still intact. He had a bag from Game in one had, and an ice cream in the other.

"I see you've been having fun," Melissa sighed at her husband.

He grinned, ignoring the hint of chastisement in her tone. "Have you seen the flavours they do at that ice-cream van? Bubblegum, Steph, bubblegum!"

"Yeah, I know dad," Valkyrie grinned as her mother took control of the pram and they started off back down the crowded street. "But coconut and lemon is the weirdest."

"Coconut and lemon?" He questioned, pulling a face at the thought.

"There's also Earwax."

"Earwax?"

"Earwax."

"You're kidding?"

"I'm not."

"Really?"

"Well, actually, that might be Harry Potter, but still…"

Desmond frowned, disappointed, and Valkyrie shrugged.

They stopped outside a shop, Melissa pulling the pram over to one side to get out of the way of the busy shoppers.

"Maybe we'll get lucky in here," She suggested optimistically.

"Maybe we'll give up and go home?" Valkyrie asked hopefully, thinking about ducking into the toilets whilst her parents inevitably stopped for petrol to call Skulduggery and see how things were going. Maybe they'd want some help…

Melissa gave her a reprimanding look. "I know shopping isn't really your thing, Steph, but it's important that we find something for you to wear to the wedding. Your cousin will be expecting you to look like you've made an effort for her special day. How about something yellow, to go with your father's shirt?"

"I'd rather just wear black," she replied sulkily.

Melissa sighed. "Your whole wardrobe is black."

"Good, then it'll match."

Her mum sighed again, but before she had time to say anything else, they was a loud scream from a few shops down, and a large commotion.

They turned to stare as shoppers crowded to the edges of the pathway, cowering from the scene. An imposing man in red stood in the middle of the empty space, and Valkyrie just knew he had magic.

Then Fletcher, of all people,ran out of Primark, and Valkyrie started. He obviously hadn't been in there perusing the clothes, so she guessed he'd needed to teleport somewhere he'd been, someone near the shopping centre to follow the man in red now spinning to face him.

Skulduggery and Ghastly came running from the opposite side, forcing their way through the eager, yet confused, crowds now parting for them.

The man in red spun, saw them coming for him, cursed, and then was elbowed in the face by Tanith as she sprang out of nowhere.

The crowd of shoppers gasped.

Geoffrey Scrutinous was going to be busy for the next few days.

Tanith elbowed him again, then brought her knee up to smack him in the face as he doubled over in pain.

Before she had time to feel smug, or celebrate the small victory, the man's head came up to stare at her.

He grinned menacingly.

Then his leg shot out and swept Tanith's out from under her. Cursing, she tried to launch herself back to her feet and grab for her sword, but he was quicker. Sweeping his arm down in a sudden curve, a wall of yellow energy slammed into Tanith, leaving her winded and weak. She looked dazed, and Valkyrie wouldn't have been surprised if she'd broken a rib or two.

Before the man in red had time to escape, Skulduggery was there, pushing at the air to drive him backwards, away from Tanith, towards Valkyrie's side of the crowd.

They hadn't noticed she was among the spectators yet. She hadn't had time to move, or react, or anything.

She found herself watching in fascination with her parents, wondering whether they would need her enough for her to have to reveal her secret life to her parents, or whether they could handle it on their own.

Ghastly hurried over to Tanith, exchanging a quiet word with her, and then Fletcher was there, and they were carrying her back into Primark, away from prying eyes, probably to teleport, glancing at Skulduggery as they went. Him and the man in red were circling each other now.

"Now, now, Pleasant, you wouldn't want to do anything rash in front of all these wonderful spectators, would you?"

"Actually, Ralph, you wouldn't want to do anything rash. I, on the other hand, am known for my rash decisions. It's one of my many qualities I treasure."

Valkyrie had to resist the urge to roll her eyes at her partner.

The man in red's eyes hardened. "My name is not Ralph," he growled.

"Sure it is," Skulduggery replied, and Valkyrie could just tell he was grinning, even though he had his usual hat, scarf and sunglasses to cover his face. "Ralph. It has a certain ring to it, don't you think? Ralph."

The man growled. "My name is Torture Bronze, and you shall remember it as you die."

"Oh… erm, this is awkward…"

Bronze almost faltered with his footing at the odd response. "What is?"

"Oh, well, I wasn't really planning on dying today, you see."

Bronze growled, then launched himself at Skulduggery. He sidestepped him easily, but it wasn't enough distance. Bronze grabbed hold of his ankle, yanking him down to the floor. He rolled onto his feet as Skulduggery lost his hat, quickly tapping the façade symbols on his collarbone to hide his appearance.

Now laying on the concrete path on his back, Bronze stood over him, mumbling menacing words. Skulduggery took of his sunglasses, placing them carefully in his pocket.

"Prepare to die."

"Oh, Bronze?"

The man's palm was already glowing yellowy-orange as he held it over Skulduggery's face, but he still blinked down at him.

"What?"

"There's something to your left."

As if on instinct, Torture Bronze glanced up to his left, just in time to register Ghastly as he ploughed into him, knocking them both to the floor.

Bronze was up first, but Ghastly was close behind.

Stuck between the two men, ready to use their magic and skill against him, Bronze was surprisingly calm.

"Torture Bronze, you are under the arrest for a bunch of reasons I can't remember," Skulduggery told him. "Please place you hands in front of you and prepare for a lifetime of boredom."

Bronze just smiled.

Uh oh, Valkyrie thought.

And then the man split in two.

His body shimmered for a moment, the red of his jacket blending into a brown-y colour, and then there was another one of him, an exact replica, standing to the left of where the first one had been.

The crowd shrieked in alarm, but nobody moved, and Skulduggery and Ghastly didn't have time to make them leave.

"Well, you could have told us about that little trick earlier," Skulduggery murmured, before ducking in to elbow the closest one in the flank.

Ghastly attacked the other one, sending kicks and elbows and punches anywhere and everywhere.

Skulduggery clicked his fingers, sending flames to engulf the real Bronze. Or was that the replica?

The one Ghastly was fighting flickered out of existence for a moment as he was elbowed in the face. That was the replica.

The crowd of confused, fascinated shoppers continued to stand there in shock, staring at Skulduggery's hand where the fire had appeared.

The real Bronze, the one who had been engulfed in flames, managed to put them out quickly, rolling away from Skulduggery and appearing on the other side of Ghastly just as he took a hit from the replica. Ghastly landed on his knees hard, and had just enough time to realise he was surrounded by three Bronze's before the real Bronze kicked him in the chin, sending his head jerking backwards.

Ghastly slumped over, unconscious, and Skulduggery suddenly found himself surrounded, on the bad end of three-on-one.

"Oh hell," He mumbled. "This is hardly fair."

One of the replica's, Valkyrie assumed it was the first one, flickered again, this time disappearing for longer.

It gave Skulduggery just enough time to react, kicking it in the back of the knee and then sending it flying through a shop window.

The other replica approached, ducking to the side and causing Skulduggery to have to turn his back on the real Bronze to watch him. And then the replica dived. It punched Skulduggery in the face, and grabbed on to his upper left arm, and yanked. Skulduggery howled in pain as the arm came off , now appearing in its true form as bone, clutched in the replicas hand.

Skulduggery advanced, wincing at the discomfort of losing an arm.

Valkyrie had been so engrossed in the fighting, she'd been distracted from the real Bronze, but another exclamation from the members of the crowd near her and the flicker of yellow out of the corner of her eye turned her attention back to Bronze.

His hand was raised, palm out towards Skulduggery. It was glowering fiercely now. Bronze's forehead was glittering with sweat at the exertion. Valkyrie hadn't noticed but he was clutching his side with his other arm. Skulduggery must have wounded him when she was watching Ghastly fight the first replica, because blood was seeming from between his fingers.

Bronze's current replica suddenly disappeared, the exertion too much for the real man. Skulduggery's arm clattering to the ground, as he turned to face Bronze.

Then his legs buckled over in pain, and he fell forward.

Valkyrie and her parents were at the edge of the crowd, and she took a step forwards on instinct, no longer routed to the spot in surprise at seeing her secret life thrust before her eyes and the eyes of mortals so suddenly. She no longer worried about staying still in case her parents found out that she was one of them.

She couldn't let Bronze beat Skulduggery.

Ghastly was still out could, Tanith was probably back at the Sanctuary unconscious, and Fletcher was god knows where. It was her turn to help.

Her father gently tugged her arm.

"Stephanie!" He whispered loudly, all traces of his usual smiles gone from his face, "What are you doing? No!"

His concern almost broke her heart, almost broke her resolve, but then Skulduggery looked up from where he was writhing with pain on the floor. The affect Bronze was having on him reminded her of Serpine's red hand, except the yellow was flowing through Skulduggery, causing the pain. The mist was slowly surrounding him as he flinched in agony, unable to concentrate enough to push the air.

She locked eyes with him. Even in his pain, his eyes registered surprise.

"An… Any time, Val," Skulduggery breathed out, the effort causing him a lot of pain and energy.

She gulped, then turned to her parents. "I'm really sorry you had to find out like this," She mumbled softly, then stepped towards Bronze.

He was distracted from Skulduggery by her movement, lowering his hand, but her partner was already rattled now, breathing heavily and unable to move on the floor.

"What's this we have here," Bronze taunted. "A nice little mortal come to try her hand?"

"Actually," Valkyrie allowed herself a smirk, sliding the ring from her jeans pocket on to her finger. "I thought I'd just beat you up."

Before he had time to react, she had already whipped her hand round in a wide circle, shadows darting forward and into him. He recoiled, managing to protect himself somewhat from most of the damage by collecting yellow mist around parts of him, but his concentration was off, and he was already injured. Bronze now had a deep gash in his face and left arm, and a shallow hole in his shoulder to add to the cut across his side which was still leaking blood. It had been widened by Valkyrie's swipe, and he hissed as a second tirade of shadows piled into him.

The crowd looked even more surprised, but Valkyrie ignored them. They'd have forgotten about this by the evening anyway.

Her brain acknowledged her parents shocked exclamations, but she pushed them to the back of her mind for the moment. Capture Bronze, then worry.

He growled at her in anger as he staggered backwards. "You silly little girl! You think Necromancy makes you powerful, do you? You think it makes you better than me?"

"Well, no, actually," She smirked again. "I'd say I'm probably better than you anyway, Necromancy or not."

"Oh, you are, are you?" He spat back, clutching at his side and shoulder now.

"I am pretty amazing. Aren't I, Skulduggery?"

She didn't even need to look round to know that Skulduggery was on his feet now, standing next to her, fixing his tie and placing his hat back on his head, both arms in place.

"Well, you're nowhere near as incredible as I am," he replied, back to his usual self. "But I suppose you are quite interesting."

"Quite?" She creased her eyebrows and narrowed her eyes at him, glancing away from Bronze as he turned paler and paler, trying to keep his balance despite his lose of blood.

"Rather interesting," He corrected, seeing her glare. She glared some more. "Very. Very interesting."

Valkyrie smiled at him in appreciation. "Thank you. See, now, was that so hard to admit?"

"It was rather trying."

Bronze tried to lunge at Valkyrie, but she pushed back at the air, and he was caught in mid-flight, landing ungracefully on his back in front of them.

"Oh, right," Skulduggery smiled down at him. "Ralph, you're under arrest. Do you hear me, Ralph?"

Ralph whimpered from his position at their feet, curled in a ball.

The crowd stood in silence, and Valkyrie thought it was more than a little unnerving. A round of applause, as ridiculous as that would have been, would have probably been more comfortable.

She turned to Skulduggery.

"Now what to we do?"

Fletched appeared, answering her question for him.

"Fletcher," Skulduggery commanded him. "Take Ralph here to the Sanctuary, then come back with Geoffrey as quick as you can."

He obeyed without response, except a quick nod of his head, then him and Bronze disappeared in a blink of the eye.

Valkyrie turned back to Skulduggery.

"Act normal," He said.

"You're a skeleton," She replied. "Define 'normal'."

"No need for the air quotations, Valkyrie."

"I thought they were necessary."

"They were rude," He titled his head at her. "Didn't your parents ever teach you to respect your elders?"

"You know, I do remember something…" She replied as Fletcher appeared with Geoffrey. Without even glancing at Skulduggery for instructions, he knew what to do. Valkyrie could hear him addressing the crowd, but she ignored his words. She didn't need to know exactly what he was going to say to make this go away, she just wanted to make sure it did go away.

"So," Skulduggery interrupted her thoughts. "Aren't you going to introduce me to your parents now that they know?"

"My parents?" She asked in surprise.

"You know, the couple over there staring at us in shock."

"They are?"

"I think your mum might be about to faint."

"Oh, right," Valkyrie nodded. "Well, erm, yes… I guess they know now."

They walked over to where her parents were, rooted to the spot against the window of Thornton's.

"Erm, mum, dad… this is Skulduggery Pleasant," She began. "Skulduggery-"

"Lovely to meet you," He leaned forwards to take her fathers hand and shake it. He stared. "Valkyrie talks about you all the time… well, actually, she doesn't, but that's because she usually quite busy and whatnot. I guess she talks about you a fair enough, just… just not all the time."

"Skulduggery?"

"Yes?"

"Shut up."

"Right," He agreed. "They're in shock."

Her parents stared back at them, unblinking.

Valkyrie turned to Skulduggery, worried. "What do we do?"

"Give them a moment," He told her patiently.

After a few seconds of silence, her dad managed to speak. "You're the man from the will reading? Gordon's will. You… you're one of them."

"If by 'them' you mean sorcerers from a hidden community who Gordon based his book upon and who have saved the world, dare I say, a couple of times, then yes. I'm one of them…"

Desmond stared.

"Well done," Valkyrie mumbled sarcastically to him. "You just made it worse."

"I did no such thing!" He protested childishly.

"Skulduggery…" She warned.

"Valkyrie," He repeated teasingly, mockingly.

Then Valkyrie's mum blinked. And swallowed.

"Valkyrie?"

"Oh, erm, that's… that's what they call me. I had to take a name, a chosen name, to protect my given name, Stephanie Edgley, so I took Valkyrie Cain."

"Valkyrie Cain?" Her mum took a deep breath, but at least she was taking an active part in the conversation.

"Most people call me Valkyrie, or Val, whatever's fine really…"

"Oh, okay…" Her mum mumbled, clutching the pram for dear life. "And you're… magic?"

"I am."

"Magic's real?"

"It is."

"You're magic?"

"I am, yes," She repeated again, patiently.

"Right," Her mum nodded as if she understood, looking less shocked now she was asking questions and getting answers.

Even her dad looked less pale now. "Brilliant," He added to the conversation.

"They seem to be taking this quite well," Skulduggery told her, nodding and smiling.

"They haven't fainted or exploded yet," Valkyrie agreed.

"So…" Her dad began, gathering his thoughts. Then he shook his head, and her mother took over.

"So, you… you're friends with Valkyrie?"

"More like partners," Skulduggery replied.

"And what is it you actually do?" Desmond asked kindly.

"Oh, erm, I'm a Detective."

"Oh, right, that's…" Melissa hesitated. "Good."

"Thank you," Skulduggery beamed at the mundane compliment. "I'm rather good at it. Valkyrie's okay."

"Hey!" She elbowed him in the rib. "Without me you would be floundering around for clues all over the place. I am the reason and brains behind everything."

"I suppose you are."

"And one of us has to look good."

"Oh, I thought that's what I did?"

"You did?"

"Yes."

"Oh."

"Well," Skulduggery tilted his head, readjusting his hat. "I feel rather useless now."

Valkyrie grinned at him, and his façade face smiled back, enjoying their banter.

"Sorry to interrupt," Melissa said, exchanging a shocked, yet now rather amused, look with her husband. "But is this real?"

"Probably," Skulduggery beamed happily.

"Probably?" Desmond questioned.

"Most likely, yes."

"Right," Valkyrie's mum sighed wearily, totally confused but willing to accept what she was seeing. Desmond was still in mild shock. "Mr Pleasant, do you want to come round for tea? I think we have a lot to talk about."

Valkyrie groaned, and Skulduggery shot her a grin before turning back to her mother. "I'd love to, Mrs Edgley."

Thank you so much for reading! I'd love to know what you think? Never written them before, so I hope it went well! :D