Title: First Time
Author: Hippo_Crat
Rating: R, coarse language
Length: 1,116 words
Spoilers: All of S2 aired in US to be safe.
Summary: Brittany's let something slip and now Rachel's in the crossfire.
Pairing: Brittany/Rachel, Brittany/Santana, implied (blink and you'll miss it) Quinn/Rachel, mentions past Finn/Rachel, Puck/Rachel and Brittany/All the Glee guys

The room wasn't silent.

That was categorically impossible.

Even if the room's occupants weren't speaking there were still the ever-present ambient noises: the air conditioner—which was coughing out sporadic breaths of cool air, the chatter flowing in from the halls and other classrooms, the sound of construction seeping in beneath the window panes from the parking lot. Above the din Rachel was certain she could make out the song of a bird singing sweetly, it was either coming from outside or from Brittany's locker down the hall.

So the room wasn't silent.

Still, Rachel felt that if a pin were to drop in the room all of its occupants would hear it strike the ground.

Ten sets of eyes were trained on Brittany, each staring with expressions that varied from interested to disgusted, from amused to aroused, from horrified to pissed. Seemingly unaware of the scrutiny she was falling under from her teammates Brittany stared straight ahead, softly humming the Duck Tales theme song under her breath.

"What. The. Fuck!" Santana bellowed, leaping to her feet. Quinn, the only person brave enough to blatantly watch the Hispanic cheerleader's tantrum, was waiting for the steam to start pouring out of the brunette's ears.

Rachel didn't even wince at the loud outburst. All of her mental energies were focused on pretending she hadn't heard what the blonde cheerleader had blurted out. Of course Santana's somewhat more substantial frame looming over her was making her task exceedingly difficult.

"How can I help you, Santana?" Years of vocal and acting training were yet again paying off. The petite singer was proud to know her voice didn't waver in the slightest—no outward reaction betrayed the fear and turmoil that frothed just beneath the surface of her cool and aloof demeanor.

"What the fuck did B mean when she said you were 'really good at sex'?"

"Well I suppose one would surmise from that statement that Brittany has firsthand knowledge of my sexual prowess." There. That was diplomatic and noncommittal. There was no doubt in Rachel's mind it was the perfect response.

Unfortunately the others didn't seem to share her enlightened and idealized viewpoint.

Finn stood up so quickly his chair tipped over. Startled by the loud noise Rachel stood suddenly, her body already preparing to flee in case things took a turn for the worse. Finn's long legs easily ate up the distance between them; his face was contorted into an angry scowl as he towered over his ex-girlfriend. "You had sex with Brittany?" He shouted, his voice cracking from the strain of his disbelief. "You told me you were a virgin! So not only did you cheat on me you're a liar too."

"I wasn't lying when I said I was a virgin." Finn's words stung and it was all Rachel could do to defend herself against them. The singer craned her head back and tried to catch Finn's gaze but Santana barged between them.

"So you're calling Brit a liar, you poster child for contraception?" Santana snarled, shoving Rachel back several steps.

"I would never imply such a thing. Brittany's statement is as true as my own."

Finn threw his hands up in disgust, a gesture Santana found herself wanting to emulate. "Stop talking in circles and answer the freaking question!" The football player barked.

"When Brittany gave her virginity to me we were interrupted before she could reciprocate." Rachel explained quietly, wishing she was anywhere but where she was. This was not how she wanted Santana to find out about her dalliance with Brittany.

All planned and ideal ways for Santana to find out had involved Rachel being thousands of miles away from the irascible youth, safely under the protection of armed guards.

Santana wheeled around and gaped at her best friend. "You gave Berry your V-Card? You told me I was your first!" She couldn't believe what she was hearing.

Brittany snorted loudly and said, "No I gave her my virginity, San, weren't you listening? I gave you my first V-Card. Don't you remember—we were in Mrs. O'Neal's second grade class and I gave you my V-Card and asked you to be my Valentine."

Never before had Santana wanted so much to hit someone. The mere thought of Brittany and Rachel was making her stomach tie up in knots. Just when Santana was worried she would actually become physically ill from the thought Rachel broke the silence.

"Can we stop talking about this? Regionals is weeks away and I would rather focus on our competition than rehash events in my past I'm not necessarily proud of." Rachel crossed the room to the piano without waiting for the reactions of her teammates.

With her back to everyone else in the room Rachel completely missed the fury streak across Santana's face. The volatile girl lunged for the oblivious singer only to be caught mid-air by Brittany.

With expertise born of lots and lots of practice the blue eyed teen soothed her friend's frayed nerves. "It's okay San. Rachel didn't mean anything bad by it, she's just still mad we didn't have enough time for her to 'apply the full spectrum of her knowledge and talents to the occasion'." The blonde cheerleader recited the last bit in an eerily accurate imitation of the tiny diva.

Santana relaxed in Brittany's embrace. She was somewhat mollified that Rachel hadn't insulted her best friend and lover; still she probably wouldn't pass up any opportunity to swing at the irritating girl and continued to eye Rachel menacingly.

"It was really fun; Rachel was sweet and gentle and didn't hurt me at all."

Despite how quietly the words were spoken they were still easily heard by everyone in the room. With the possible exception of Puck everyone else seemed really squicked out. Quinn seemed particularly displeased by the turn of events; the blonde was glaring off at the floor like the linoleum had personally insulted her.

"Please stop talking about it, Brit, you're going to make me hurl. I just want to forget this whole thing ever happened." Santana said weakly as she sank into the chair beside her pseudo-girlfriend. There was no amount of brain bleach that was going to save her from the horrors this conversation had put into her.

"But S, Rachel taught me that thing I do with my tongue that you like so much."

Santana, Mike, Kurt and Artie all paled a little at their newfound knowledge.

Understanding dawned on Puck's face. His features lit up when he was finally able to put all the pieces together to something that had nagged at him for months. "I knew I recognized that tongue thing Berry did from somewhere!"