Disclaimer: I do not own Bleach or any of the characters or settings, Tite Kubo does.

Mysterious Psychic Yuzu:

It's Master, not Mysterious

'I'm home,' when Ichigo walked into his house or, more accurately, the Kurosaki house, he was surprised to find no one around to greet him or, in his crazy father's case, bash him up. Walking into the kitchen, he was even more surprised to see all three members of his family sitting at the table. Kuchiki Rukia was leaning against a wall, an amused expression on her usually serious face.

Turning to her, as she was most likely to give a sane answer, Ichigo asked, 'What are they doing?'

'Aaaargh!'

Hearing the shout of one of his younger sisters, Yuzu, the orange haired teenager spun around, eyes falling onto the small girl's form. He blinked when he noticed that her usual bright, girly clothes had been replaced by sombre black, but that wasn't the most surprising thing.

'What is it, Master Psychic Yuzu?' Isshin, the head of the Kurosaki family, sounded most concerned when he questioned his daughter, 'Tell me!'

Karin, Ichigo's other sister, sat forward in her chair, dark eyes wide, 'Master Psychic Yuzu! What did you see?'

There was a twitch starting over Ichigo's eye and he moved over to Rukia, 'This is a joke they set up to freak me out with, right?'

He knew that Yuzu had the weakest spiritual awareness compared to Karin or his father, so why were those two acting like she had a strong sense, or something.

'Nope,' Rukia shook her head, violet eyes still showing amusement, 'Yuzu went shopping to buy more groceries, but when she came back she was like that,' she pointed at the girl, 'And then those two went like that,' her finger flicked across to the pair sitting on the opposite side of the dining table.

'The house will collapse tomorrow if Ichi-nii doesn't play soccer with Karin,' Yuzu's eyes were closed and her voice was ominous.

'Ichigo!' Isshin leapt up and pounced on his orange haired son, 'Get out there and play soccer with your sister! NOW!'

'Wha-?' as he was shoved out the back door, a soccer ball hitting his head, Ichigo was thinking that this whole thing was going a bit too far. Yuzu couldn't be psychic, she could be intuitive occasionally, but psychic? No way.

'Ichigo,' Karin began kicking her soccer ball at him and he really had no choice but to play a game with her.

'Can you see anything else, Master Psychic Yuzu?' Isshin and Karin were leaning over the table in anticipation while Ichigo and Rukia looked on.

'There will be a terrible earthquake if Ichi-nii doesn't go and do some more grocery shopping for me with Rukia,' Yuzu spoke in a contemplative tone now.

'Are you guys sure she isn't just trying to make everyone happy, including herself?' Ichigo asked sceptically, 'I mean, I probably wouldn't have played with Karin with that little resistance if it wasn't for her,'

'Don't argue with the Master Psychic Yuzu! Go!' Isshin glared at the two of them and pushed them out the door.

'Stop saying Mysterious Psychic Yuzu! It's disturbing!' Ichigo yelled back.

'You're just jealous,' Karin snapped as she slid around her father and slammed the door, 'And it's Master, not Mysterious!'

'Let's just do the shopping,' Rukia sighed, having obviously been watching the whole event for longer than Ichigo, 'Who knows how long this is going to go on for,'

No one ate dinner that night, since Yuzu was still playing 'I'm a psychic wonder' and Ichigo was getting tired of the way his family was acting. He'd been made to do so many strange things and now he was completely certain that his sister was pretending, although it wasn't really like her.

'Master Psyc-,' Ichigo cut his father off by kicking him into the next room.

'Shut up!' the orange haired teenager was losing it, 'Just shut up! Stop acting so strange! Yuzu,' he rounded on the black glad girl, 'Snap out of it!'

'If you do not stop yelling, you will wake up with a broken leg,' the girl looked up at him, eyes unblinking and wide, 'If you're mean to anyone again, you will fail your next exam,'

Ichigo was twitching and shaking in suppressed fury and he was clutching desperately at his sanity, 'How are those things even related?' he ended up screaming.

'Ichigo,' Rukia reached out and tapped his shoulder, 'Stay calm. I'm sure there's a reasonable solution for all of this,'

'Reasonable?' Ichigo was screaming in frustration, 'Are you mad as well?'

'No I'm not!' her eyes flashed in sudden anger, 'You're just overreacting,'

Isshin suddenly appeared and knocked his son down, 'Be quiet! Don't argue with the Master Psychic Yuzu!'

'If I hear that one more time,' fists clenched, Ichigo jumped up again and chased Isshin and Karin further into the house, locking them in his sisters' room. Then he began looking around for something to break. Eyes landing on a helpless banana, the teenager began mashing it between his palms, nails scraping the yellow skin.

'That's rather pathetic Kurosaki!' a sing-song voice made everyone pause and turn to the door as a smiling man walked into the room, 'A real man shouldn't take his frustrations out on a banana,'

The 'visitor' was wearing a green and white hat, distinctive footwear, and he carried a cane.

'Urahara Kisuke?' Rukia was surprised to see the shopkeeper in Ichigo's house, 'What are you doing here?'

She couldn't help but think he had something to do with the current situation.

'Ah,' twirling around, Kisuke set his gaze on the young girl, 'Kurosaki Yuzu. How are you?'

'What's going on?' now feeling ridiculous, especially with mashed banana all over his hands, Ichigo really wanted to know what was happening.

'You see,' straightening, Urahara faced them once again, 'This matter is all to do with this,' he fished around in his pocket and produced a stuffed lion toy, 'Bostov,'

'B-bostov?' looking up from washing his hands, Ichigo almost choked, 'That's Kon!'

'Kon?' Rukia was wondering why the toy, usually given life through a mod soul, wasn't moving, 'Is he dead?'

'Why don't you sound very concerned?' Urahara pretended to be hurt and insulted, 'Bostov went through a lot you know,'

'Huh?' Ichigo was dumbstruck, 'No one cares about Kon,'

'Nee-san!' the sudden shriek shocked everyone still in the room and their eyes flew to the squirming toy, 'Nee-san cares,'

'I do not!' Rukia snatched the stuffed animal away from Urahara and began squishing it against a wall, 'Get that into your head Kon!'

'What do you mean a lot?' Ichigo didn't really believe the shopkeeper and he was having trouble ignoring Kon's screams.

'Well you see, it all went like this,' leaning again the wall, Urahara gazed out from under the shadow of his hat as he began to speak.

Yuzu wandered through the shopping market and she was glad when she found the last item she needed. As she walked out of the store, she saw a flash of yellow.

'Bostov!' the girl couldn't believe how her treasured Bostov had gotten onto the street, 'You're so dirty!'

As the girl tucked the misinterpreted Kon into her shopping bag, he hid his sigh. All he'd wanted to do was go out and have some fun finding pretty girls, but Ichigo's crazy little sister had found him. Again.

However, the mighty Kon had a plan! One that was going to work because it had to work.

Making as little noise as possible, he moved his paw and pulled a thin needle out of his ear. It was something he'd stolen from the scary shopkeeper with the hat. Knowing that the man was a genius inventor, Kon knew that this little item was going to save him.

Yuzu jumped when she felt something prick her arm, but she couldn't see any marks so she just continued along towards her home.

In her room, Yuzu suddenly had a strange urge to change clothes. As she donned her only black attire, she saw her eyes glaze over in the mirror and then she lost consciousness.

Kon saw the girl fall to the ground and he freaked out, 'Oh no! I've killed her!'

In a panic, he jumped out the window and raced all the way to Urahara Shoten, a small store run by none other than Urahara Kisuke himself.

Ichigo was staring at the man in disbelief, 'You actually invented something that made people think they were,' he couldn't really remember the correct term, or maybe he didn't want to, 'A Mysterious Psychic?'

'No,' Urahara shook his head, 'That was really just a party trick that Yoruichi wanted. She thought it would be funny, especially because other people actually start believing the person who was initially affected,'

'That's just wrong,' Ichigo shook his head, 'Kon, you're so dead,'

'Hey! I didn't know what it would do!' the stuffed lion tried to wriggle away, but Rukia's vice like grip kept him in place.

'Anyway,' reaching over to the still staring Yuzu, Kisuke snapped his fingers in front of her face, 'It's way too easy to negate so Yoruichi said to scrap it,'

'All you had to do was click?' Rukia was amused despite herself.

'I'll be going now,' grinning at Kon, Urahara added, 'Don't get into any more trouble, Bostov,'

Kon was unable to say anything in reply as suddenly Yuzu jumped up with an 'oh' and he fell still, pretending to be a normal stuffed toy.

Turning to her brother and Rukia, Yuzu's eyes fell to Kon, 'Bostov!' then she paused, 'Ichi-nii, why am I wearing these clothes?'

'Ah you see Yuzu-,' Ichigo began to explain when a fist knocked the wind from his lungs, 'Grrgh,'

'Don't worry! Daddy's here to protect you!' Isshin hugged his daughter, drowning out anything Ichigo could say, 'No one will ever harm you,'

'You're the one hurting her now!' Karin kicked him when she saw Yuzu's face going purple, 'Let go!'

Dusting herself off, the smiling girl grabbed Kon and then began skipping to her room, 'Come on Bostov. I'll give you a make-over,'

Ichigo couldn't help smirking when he saw the fear in the toy's eyes, but he didn't move to help. Rukia just sighed and asked whether or not they were actually going to get any dinner, and Isshin and Karin began fighting again over something really trivial.

'So the Mysterious Psychic was fake after all,' Ichigo sighed deeply, 'I'm kind of glad since I'd rather not get a broken leg or fail an exam. I mean really,'

'It's the Master Psychic! Not mysterious you idiot!' Karin yelled with all her might, kicking her father away while she was at it.

'Yeah, whatever,' having had well and truly enough, Ichigo turned and walked upstairs to his room.

Author's Note:

Another random idea from the depths of my mind! I hoped you enjoyed the story . . .