The First Officer of the Federation starship Enterprise wearily returned to his quarters. He was relieved the ship's Chief Medical Officer, his friend, would recover fully. He was hopeful, based on his observations, that she would even find some benefit to her act of selflessness.

It was with a gentle smile at this thought that Will Riker entered his quarters. He planned to shower and contact the ship's Counselor to see if she would accept his company.

As was often the case, Deanna Troi was way ahead of him. When he entered his bedroom, he found the lights already on, but dimmed, and a small body with an abundance of dark, curly hair ensconced in his bed.

A gentle peace settled in him. Quietly he showered, and pulling on pajama bottoms, slipped under the covers next to the remarkable woman.

"Hi." She said softly, adjusting herself to spoon against him as he drew her near.

"Hi." His voice was husky with sleep and need.

"How's Beverly?" She reached for his arm and grasped it around her waist.

"Good." He found she wore no pajamas. He breathed in her scent, her essence. "She seems good."

Deanna nodded in satisfaction, not opening her eyes. "Something happened between them before we returned to the cave."

"It better have." Will splayed his hand against her abdomen, soothing himself with the feel of her.

"Did you see him?" Deanna's voice was drifting toward sleep again, but she was too entranced with the thought of her best friend and her Captain to let this go.

"Oh, yeah." His lips found the back of her neck, that place between her shoulder and throat. But it wasn't foreplay, it was reassurance. "I don't think he let her go until she kicked him out of sickbay."

"Hmmm." Deanna let her thoughts drift, she could always 'find' Beverly and Jean-Luc amid the ship's crew. Sometimes all she found were walls, but right now when she reached out to her best friend she found a bubbly anticipation tempered with exhaustion and trepidation... From the Captain she got a sense of quiet peace and strength. They would be fine.

"I'm glad you are here." Will whispered against her neck, sliding into sleep himself.

She smiled and let herself relax in the arms of comfort and strength. She only hoped the Captain and the Doctor would find the same before the ship's night was over.

=/\=

Doctor Beverly Crusher had released herself from Sickbay-albeit with acting-CMO Doctor Selar's permision-and returned to her quarters. A very long, hot bath with eucalyptus, lavender and mint soothed her sore muscles and quieted her mind.

She uncharacteristically dithered with her wardrobe choice-she didn't want to appear too... practiced... and yet she hoped things would move forward. She wrinkled her nose at the more formal choices. She had worn formal after KesPrytt and that had ended in disaster. She settled on a soft knit sweater in a deep jade. It fell below her hips, with a deep, wide collar that tended to slide off one shoulder or the other. Her staple black leggings and flats completed the casual outfit. Just a dab of perfume on each pulse-point, then rubbed behind each ear.

She was too tired to deal with hair and makeup. She left her hair long, with it's natural curl.

It was only just 1645 and she found herself at loose ends. She sat at her computer. To her surprise, she saw that the Captain had filed his report already. She called it up.

Captain's Log, Supplemental.She could hear his voice in her head as she read the words he had dictated.

First Officer Cmdr. Will Riker, Ship's Counselor Cmdr. Deanna Troi, and Chief Medical Officer Cmdr. Beverly Crusher accompanied myself to Orellian 3 as Federation Representatives to the Colony's Tenth Anniversary Observance...

She skimmed forward, his concise, official words glossing over the details she knew. Then she came to it:

The detail was uneventful through completion of the ceremony, at which time the Government representatives came under attack from unknown suspects. To my right, on the raised dais of the stage, Governor Torel and Ambassador Valar were vaporized. At this point I moved toward the Head of Council. I did not see that one of the attackers had taken aim at me.

Commander Riker and Commander Troi had taken cover behind the stage proscenium. Doctor Crusher perceived the threat to me and moved herself between the shooter and myself. She was able to push me down to the floor, out of the line of fire, sustaining a direct blow to the back of the skull and neck. (see supplemental reports, pending) She was rendered profoundly unconscious. I dragged her to cover and remained with her, ordering my First Officer to ascertain the circumstances of the attack if possible.

Such simple words. A shudder ran through her. She read ahead as he described things much as Will had. She came to the end of the report:

We retreated to the caves at the perimeter of the settlement until such time as the Enterprise could establish transporter signal.

At the time of this report, Doctor Crusher is recovering satisfactorily in Sickbay. She suffered severe stun nerve damage, and second degree burns to the cervical area. A full recovery is expected. Commanders Riker and Troi received minor bruises and scrapes, they were seen in sickbay and released.

That was it.

Of course that was it. What did she expect, that he would include the hours of darkness and pain? That he carried her, held her and kept her sane?

Butterflies congregated in the general vicinity of the Doctor's stomach as she thought of the tenderness and care the Captain had shown her. Despite the pain of the disruptor stun, she had found comfort and solace.

It had been there all along, she realized. But her flawed logic had her believing somehow it would be worse to lose him if they were lovers... She remembered the pain of losing Jack, but when she was honest with herself, it was nothing compared with the pain she felt when she saw the disruptor aimed at Jean-Luc.

She had loved Jack. She had loved him with all of her being; but that being was so very young. In the two decades since then she had grown in to so much more. Her love for Jack had been part lust, part fulfilling expectations, and part stardust in her eyes. He had swept her off her feet with his ebullience and humour. He had set her on a pedestal and treated her like a queen.

Jean-Luc... Jean-Luc was a different story. The lust was there, for sure. In case of fact, it always had been, even when there was Jack. A small, guilty part of her always wondered what would have happened if she had met Jean-Luc before Jack... but then, she wouldn't be who she was now.

Jean-Luc had seen her at her best and at her worst. He'd been by her side when she found cures for population decimating plagues, and when she had failed to find a cure. He had rejoiced with her when she cheated death in saving a crewman, and mourned with her when death had called her bluff. He had backed her up when all she had was a hunch, and he had accepted her back when she disobeyed direct orders.

That first year aboard the Enterprise had been like a never ending rollercoaster ride. There were times she thought he might still be attracted to her, times she was ready to throw caution to the wind and chase him; times she thought he hated her, times she knew he thought she blamed him for Jack.

The year away, at Starfleet Medical had proven to her there was more than friendship there. She had missed him as much as she missed her son. But she had also dreamed of him, fantasized about him, found herself distracted with thoughts of him.

When she came back, he was reserved again for a time... it was just over three months after her return when she had refused his order to beam up from Rutia and had been taken hostage. She had some time on her own to contemplate her fate, and then the Ansata had abducted the Captain.

Things changed after that. She had seen the depth of his fear for her safety. She had been terrified when she saw he was a hostage too, yet comforted by his presence. She saw how deeply he cared for her son. She believed she saw how he cared for her. She had been in the process of telling him how she felt about him when Will and Worf had stormed the Ansata stronghold and rescued them.

There had been times after that... times when she thought he would cross the line, breach the wall between them. Other times when she tried. Something always seemed to get in the way...

Then, after KesPrytt... she stood up with a disgusted sigh. It seemed as if HE could forgive her... she just had to figure out how to forgive herself. This was a new chance, a new beginning. Fate had shown her what might have been-the clarity of seeing him targeted for death-and had granted her one more opportunity. As to why it felt harder and more terrifying now than it had to throw herself into the line of fire... there was no rational explanation for that.

It had just seemed SIMPLE in his arms, in the darkness. His logic that giving her life could not have been such an easy choice if she already had not given her heart-it sounded so easy to believe. Why was she afraid NOW?

But she had been a coward one too many times. She had stood by him, sewn him back together, literally brought him back piece by piece after the Borg... she had been strong for him, but she had never been strong for her.

The memory of the comfort of his arms around her, his lips on hers, his touch on her hair... his voice, breaking... flooded her being with hope. She did not look at the time when she burst out of her quarters, heading for his; did not care if she was early, she just knew that this time she would not be too late.

When the doors to his quarters swished open before she rang the announcer, it brought her pause; but only for a moment. A feeling of warmth started curling low in her belly when she realized he must have programmed the computer to allow her access.

Nerves had her slowing as she entered his quarters. The table was set simply, a dark green linen cloth, creamy white china in two place settings. For a moment, she didn't see him, then when she quieted the butterflies, detected his presence...

He was sound asleep, on the couch. She smiled, greedily taking in his form. Of course he should be exhausted. None of the others had slept since... yesterday morning was it now? When they left for the detail planetside. Of course, shehad slept, or, more accurately, lost consciousness, several times, but she was weary beyond words. She imagined the Captain had fought his fatigue until it overcame even his prodigious willpower.

He always looked younger in sleep; more approachable. Her nose told her he had showered recently. He smelled of soap and his shaving lather and just a hint of cologne. He was dressed in a simple collarless, button-up white shirt and black pants.

Black pants she knew hugged him deliciously in all the right places. She was a die hard sucker for a man in uniform, but she found that *this* man intrigued her out of uniform as well.

He was stretched out on the end of the couch, with his feet propped on the matching stool. His hands rested lightly crossed on his stomach, his head lolled back against the top of the cushion. She suspected he sat down for a moment and never knew what hit him.

There was something vaguely vulnerable about his position, his features. She was loathe to wake him. But the curling warmth spreading through her seemed to have a mischievous life of it's own, inspiring her.

Softly, so as not to disturb him, she settled next to him. Curling her feet up sideways beside her, she gently nestled herself so her head could rest on his shoulder. She thought she woke him when he moved, but he brought his arm around her, capturing her against his side, and slept on.

Thiswas simple. This was right. All her fears melted away as she contemplated the man next to her. The man she had known and loved for more than half her life.

There were so many things to distract them, to lend complications. Protocol and gossip and 'duty.' But this, this was simple. The two of them fit like two halves to a whole. He completed her. His smile, when it reached his eyes... the flash of heat and desire she sometimes caught when he thought she wasn't looking... his steadfast belief in the good of people, of the innate possibilities in the Universe.

He was the only one who dared contradict her, and when he did, often he challenged her beliefs, leading her to new levels of understanding. He was the only one who saw through her 'Doctor' persona and understood how deeply she felt each loss. But she had known these things for years. There was never any doubt their love was deep and sincere.

It was what came next she had never allowed herself. She was safe, as he slept. She lightly placed her palm on his chest. Through the fine weave of his shirt, she felt the heat of his skin, the pulse of his heart. She closed her eyes and inhaled his scent. The butterflies in her stomach were gone now, desire building with a syrupy heat in their place.

She could have this. It was hers for the taking. A single tear escaped.

Her eyes opened when his other hand came up to cover hers on his chest. His eyes were still closed, but a beatific smile lit his face. He made no more movement other than his fingers enclosing hers, his thumb softly rubbing the inside of her wrist.

A shiver traced from her wrist directly to her womb.

"You're early." He opened his eyes, his smile crinkling them in the corners.

"Sorry," she relplied, more breathlessly than she planned.

"Don't be." He shifted just slightly, adjusting her next to him, allowing his lips to find her temple. "This is lovely."

"Mmmm..." She hummed, not trusting herself to speak, to think. Her eyes closed, cherishing the warmth of their contact.

"Do you want to eat?" He said after a time, his lips brushing the edge of her hairline, causing a delightful shiver.

"Would that require moving?" Her eyebrow raised, but her eyes remained shut. It was glorious to bask in the sensations surrounding her.

"Probably," the reply was dry, making her smile.

"Then I don't think I'm hungry just now. I don't want to move."

"Not even a little bit?" He was stirring now, slowly testing his way down the side of her face, finding the spot at the edge of her jaw that melted her resolve.

"Maybe a little..." She turned to him, lips meeting. This was how it should be. How it could be. His mouth was experienced, gently demanding. She wasn't exactly a novice, but oh, how she needed his confidence, his leadership.

The passion rose, slowly at first as the two tested and tasted and tried... but it had been too long, both of them had fought and denied each other forever. In a tangle of hands and mouths they feverishly found each other. He was confident when she was shy. She was sure when he gave her one last chivalrous chance to stop...

He had never quite pictured it this way, he always thought there would be flowers and candles and appropriate music their first time... but that had not worked after KesPrytt, and he wasn't one to repeat failures.

This was so much more simple. Elemental. She inspired him and he completed her.

=^=
They slept for a time, meshed together on the couch. She was draped over him like an afghan, her face tucked into the nook between his chin and his shoulder. He had picked her sweater up from the floor and covered her back and bottom somewhat with it. Neither wanted to move.

When his hands moved lazily to her lower back, and ran up the back of her thigh, she found the words she needed. Once she started, they tumbled over each other. How she had been so scared of losing him before, but then the reality of losing him on Orellian showed her just how foolish her fears had been... How sorry she was for hurting him.

He shushed her at that. The same repetitive short sibilance he had soothed her with when she woke on the planet. There was something about it, neither command nor obligation; It was instead assuasive, like comforting a fussy baby... she had never heard him use it before. It melted her heart.

"There's nothing to apologize for. You are here, now."

For just a moment, old fears bubbled up within her-here *now* but what about tomorrow? She could not stand to lose him... He felt her panic rising, pulled her to him, wrapping her in his embrace. It was worth it. Even if she should lose him, this was worth it. He completed her.

"Don't let go of me, Jean-Luc."

"I don't intend to, Beverly."