Author's notes: Companion piece to "A Little Girl Talk Never Hurt Anyone." I've actually had this up on my LJ for months, but never uploaded it here for some reason. Enjoy!

Disclaimer: I don't own Percy Jackson and the Olympians.

The Talk

The Mets are (surprise, surprise) losing by five runs in the fourth inning when Percy decides to set down his beer, turn to Nico, awkwardly clear his throat and declare, "We should talk about sex."

Nico's so surprised by this that he drops his hot dog to the stadium floor and doesn't even care, which is also shocking because Nico is an eighteen year old boy and if there's one thing he truly loves in this world besides girls and video games, it's greasy baseball game food.

"What?" he asks, bending to retrieve is hot dog (dude, ten second rule) and then thinking better of it when he notices it's covered in peanut shells. He frowns. Fuck, he spent $7 on that hot dog. "Why would we everwant to talk about that?"

"Well, you're like sixteen now — "

"Almost nineteen, Percy."

"Whatever! The point is that you've reached the age when you start getting urges and shit, and someone needs to sit down and have The Talk with you because I'm pretty sure everyone at camp was too afraid to do it when you were actually going through puberty."

"Percy," Nico says, slowly and deliberately. "Did Annabeth put you up to this?"

Percy colors and tugs at the collar of his jersey, mumbling something under his breath about ridiculous, know-it-all girlfriends. Nico rolls his eyes. Really, Annabeth's concern about him becoming a productive, non-sulky member of society is touching and all, but she needs to let it go already. It really ruins his late night fantasies when she gets in these motherly moods like this.

"Um, so anyway. Sex. Sex is — "

"Great. I've already done it," Nico says shortly. "With three different girls. And I'm good at it too."

The older boy blinks, clearly not expecting that answer. Nico knows everyone at Camp Half-Blood thinks he's a socially awkward loser who'll wind up living alone except for his hoards of cats, but honestly. Is it that surprising that he managed to lose his virginity before 40?

"Well," Percy says in a strangled voice. He reaches out to pat Nico on the back, but thinks better of it when Nico shoots him a glare that would sour milk. "Good for you, kid?"

Nico sighs and leans back into his uncomfortable stadium seat, tipping the bill of his hat down over his eyes. "Can we just watch baseball now?"

"Oh definitely. Definitely."

The Mets have a comeback in ninth inning. Percy sneaks Nico a beer and a new hot dog as an apology in the seventh.