The Day That Starscream Died

Or, G1 Fan's Lament

Filked by Wavelength

From Don McLean's 'American Pie'

Author's Note: This filk is heavy on Oracle of Cybertron references. I can't help it, I've been corrupted into believing that Artemis/Pantera is Starscream's true love.



(verse 1)

A long, long time ago…

I can still remember

How that Seeker used to make me smile

And I knew that if he had the chance

That he could make those robots prance

And maybe then they'd heed him for a while

But then Transformers made me shiver

With every line the 'bots delivered

Chaos on the border

Death 'round every corner

I can't remember if I cried

When I saw his sad and charred demise

But I lost something deep inside

The day, that Starscream died

So…

(refrain)

Bye, bye, Mr. Optimus Prime

Talk to my Chevy when I'm lonely

But she's no minispy

The old Transfans drink Coronas and sigh,

Sayin' Starscream's spark will never die

Screamer's spark will never die

(Verse 2)

Did you live on Cybertron?

And do you skydance with wingtips on?

If the feeling moves you to?

Do you fly dogfights in the dark?

Can Primus save your mortal spark?

And can you take me soaring on a lark?

Well, I know that cat's in love with him

'Cause I saw them dancin' in the gym

They both had nothing to lose

Man, they had to shake the blues

Now she was a ornery old GTO

With a nightwatch paintjob and brakes so slow

But we knew that girl'd have to let go

The day, that Starscream died

We started singin'

(refrain)

Now for ten years we've been on our own

And still no one sits on his throne

But that's not how it used to be

Now the 'dactyl whines to Inferno's Queen

On a note he borrowed from Starscream

And a cause that came from you and me

Oh and while the jet was burning down

The madman crushed his jewel'd crown

The 'Cons they were concerned

No leader had returned

Unicron's brief rule was sere and stark

The Seeker's in Memorial Park

And Dirge sings death knells in the dark

Today, 'cause Starscream died

We'll be singin'

(refrain)

(verse 4)

X is killing Maxi's in Omicron

To show that he's Starscream's immortal son

But the fake spark died and fell

Oh, I suppose you can ne'er tell

Mainframe tried for a forward pass

With the fandom on the sidelines in a mass

Now the names all smell like sweet perfume

While the scripters changed the tune

We all got up to dance

Oh, but we never got the chance

'Cause when the true tales tried to take the field

The new writers refused to yield

Do you recall how they concealed

The day that Starscream died?

We started singin'

(refrain)

(verse 5)

Oh, and there we were all in one place

A forlorn band that's lost its place

With nowhere left to dream again

Takara be nimble, Sunbow be quick

Newsgroups are gathering thousands of hits

'Cause each other are the fanchild's only friends

And as I watched him on the screen

All I could do was sit and scream

And though I knew it well

Couldn't break that scripting spell

And as the credits climbed into the stars

To end all our beloved wars

I saw Unicron laugh with delight

The day, that Starscream died

He was singin'

(refrain)

(verse 6)

I met a wasp with Seeker soul

And though I begged it not to go

His borrowed spark popped out and flew away

I went down to the comic store

Where I'd found the stories years before

But the man there said no robots, no way

And in the streets the children screamed

Collectors cried and the writers schemed

But not a word was spoken

The best toys all were broken

And the four 'bots I admire most

Took a trip, and now they're toast

In the last ship for the coast

The day, that Starscream died

And they were singin'

(refrain)

(refrain)