A/N: My sister wrote this for me, because I had absolutely no idea how to write it for my cousin. So,Twi, if you're reading this, you can thank me for having the idea and all that, but you can thank Nicki for the actual story, And I apologize if you have absolutely no idea what to think about this, because honestly? I don't know what to think of this either.

Disclaimer: I do not own anything you recognize.

Hermione walked into the living room of Harry's flat, carrying a paper grocery bag in one hand, which she set on the coffee table.

"Harry, don't touch this bag. Okay?" Hermione said, already turning to leave.

"Fine, Hermione." Harry said, barely looking up from the TV. He listened carefully for Hermione to leave, then lunged forward and dug through the bag. He found a rubber duck, and seven boxes of microwaveable waffles. Haryr glanced at them briefly, before throwing them to the side.

He plopped back down on the couch, and picked up the remote, when something bit his ear. He whipped around, and saw a frozen waffle!

"What the fudge!" Harry screamed, and turned towards the door, but saw an army of waffles behind him with the rubber duck in formt of them. Suddenly , the waffles started moaning, "The Dark Lord's spirit lives within us!"

"What the puppies!" Harry yelled. Then suddenly, the waffles started singing.

"I love you, you love me, we're the best of family, with a great big hug and a kiss from me to you, won't you say you love me too."

All of a sudden, Barney the dinosaur was in front of them, and said, "Sing it with more heart!"

So they started singing it again. Harry had his hands over his ears, screaming. He looked up as he heard the singing stop, and saw Tarzan standing there with a gun, Barney dead on the floor. the duck shouted, "Leader! Must kill Tarzan."

But Tarzan said, "I'm not Tarzan, I'm Harry Potter." And he pulled out a fake scar and square glasses. The waffles started toward Harry, and he screamed, "Where are my lemons when I need them?" And then he tripped and fell, saying, "Oww, my lemons." He pulled out a bag of squished lemons from his pants.

A waffle said, "You keep lemons in your pants?"

"Yeah well I have a problem-" Harry started, but the waffle cut him off.

"Never mind!" it screamed. It started towards him again, but he was hit in the head with a rope.

"Sorry mister." a little girl said, and then continued jump roping.

"Let's join forces with the waffles." another girl said.

"Yeah!" the other girls agreed, and then they started toward Harry.

"Hey, mate." Ron said.

"RON! Help!" Harry shouted, but Ron was gone.

Hermione was back, and she screamed, "Gazoodles! Haha, got ya. That should teach you to stay away from my stuff."

"Uhh. . . " Harry said, and looked around. Everything was back to normal, no waffles or little girls jump roping. "Sorry, Hermione. Won't happen again."

A/N: Please don't take this seriously. My cousin asked for me to write this, but I was so busy, and couldn't figure out how to start it, so my sister wrote it for me.

Anyways, yeah, my cousin was visiting, and we painted, some pottery. Nicki painted a duck with red eyes, and Twi (my cousin) came up with the idea that an evil duck tortures Harry. That was like in July, and I just now wrote it. i am a horrible cousin. PLease forgive me, Twi! And I hoped you liked it!