Hold Onto That Feeling

"Hi."

Quinn looks up in shock, her green eyes wide and sweeping the crowded hallway before finally settling upon his form, casually leaning against the locker next to hers. She shoves the thick textbooks into her bag, and slams the locker door shut, ignoring him.

The memories of pregnancy are still evident on her body, and he cannot help but think back to last week, when she walked by him grinning and glowing with happiness (he knows that's completely cliché, but if the shoe fits right?), a hand resting on her swollen stomach and her face filled with pride. How has everything changed so dramatically in the last seven days? Now, he knows that he isn't as close to her as they used to be, and definitely not as close as Finn used to be, and Puck still may be, but it still concerns him to see the pain in her eyes, and the distraught emitting from her body, leaking through the patches she has placed inside of her in order to stop the flow of emotion from ever being recognized by anyone else. His heart still twinges when he sees her walking so melancholy down the halls, her hands loose and fidgeting at her side, unsure of where they should be, now that her stomach is all but gone.

"I'm worried about you," he says softly, following her down the hall. She may be storming through the crowd of people like an elephant in heat, but he can easily match her short, quick stride with his long legs.

She scoffs at him, shaking her head in cynical amusement. "Oh, really? We've barely spoken over the last few years Matthew, and now you have the balls to come and tell me that you're worried about me! Excuse me for being blunt, but I need to visit the ladies. My body still hasn't realised that I have no baby to feed, and I can feel my milk beginning to leak. And, frankly, I really don't give a damn if you're worried or not. I have plenty of people being concerned about me, and it's quite overwhelming to have questions constantly fired at you about your health and well-being. Honestly, it's like they think that I will jump off a bridge if they don't look after me every single second of every day. I made the decision to give her up, and now I just have to live through the consequences. Eventually everyone will realise that, and hopefully begin to leave me alone." Quinn half-shrugs softly, before making her way through the crowd and disappearing into the Ladies, dress swishing around her knees.

He's waiting for her when she finally comes out of the restroom, face flushed red and hair messy around her shoulders. He tucks a strand behind her ear, smiling softly. She arches one slender, blonde eyebrow at his appearance but says nothing, beginning to walk down the hallway once more.

"You're persistent," she remarks, a smile appearing at the corner of her mouth.

Matt chuckles. "I always have been."

They continue down the hall in relative silence, and he opens the door for her, the warm wind hitting them as soon as they make their way out of the building, and away from the structure of learning. He won't really miss school- he probably won't at all. He's sick of cramming his brain fill to the brim to facts that he's certain he will never need, but Quinn's different. She thrives on learning, she always has. She adores being the queen bee in a group of people, being the person they look up too, being the woman that she can be with their recognition. It has all been snatched away from her this year, and he can see the desperation in her eyes when she remembers how it used to be, before her stomach swelled and her emotions ran wild.

"It'll be different when you come back next year, y'know," he says softly, placing a hand on her forearm to stop her at the base of the stairs. She looks up at him, wind sweeping strands of blonde hair into her eyes. He waves a hand around in demonstration, trying desperately to convey exactly what he means. "Everyone will have forgotten about what happened, and you'll be back on top."

And out of his reach.

"I hope so." She sighs tiredly, rubbing her eyes gently. "I really do. I never thought I would miss it, but I have. People look at you differently out of uniform, and I don't think I could have handled the sneers and hurtful remarks anymore. That's why I gave her up."

He cannot help it; he has to prod her further. He has to drag her back from the land of daydreaming and show her that everything is going to be okay in the end, that there is a future for her when this has all blown over, no matter how dimly the light may be shining.

"Beth?" he enquires, running a sweaty palm down the denim of his jeans. His blue jacket is bundled up in the depths of his bag, and he relishes the feeling of the wind against his bare skin.

"Obviously." She rolls her eyes slowly, shaking her head at him in amusement. Inhaling sharply, she smooths down the soft pink fabric of her dress and begins to speak again, her voice soft and timid, "That's why I gave her up. Well, sort of. I didn't think that I could handle being a single mother, and the stigma that is associated with it. But, on the other hand, I wanted Beth to have a mother who could truly love her- and I didn't think I could do that." She gnaws softly on the flesh of her lower lip, and he watches as it slowly turns bright red with all the blood rushing to it, mesmerised by her once again. "I've been so selfish Matt, and how can I deny it? I thought I could handle it, but not having her hurts just as much as leaving her did."

He cannot help it- faced with a distraught Quinn he will always try and comfort her. Slowly, as if he is approaching a wild animal and he does not desire to startle it away, he gathers her into his arms, and tries his best to make her forget. The tears on her cheeks are damp as they pull away, and to his surprise she places a soft kiss onto his cheek. He feels the flesh of her lips spread into a smile against his cheek, and she just looks at him for a moment, the pair of them just existing.

"Thank you," she murmurs, briefly touching his hand before she turns around and makes her way across the concrete, blonde hair ravaged by the wind. The feeling of her soft lips against his cheek is still there as he gathers himself, and begins to walk home, humming softly.

In a way, their parting is bittersweet because next year he won't be rejoining them at McKinley High. He's being starting off fresh in another school, in a complete new town and address. He will be living the new start that she never will have.

And he'll miss her.

And he'll never forget the way his heart pounded so harshly against his chest as she kissed him.

Just because the approaching third season made me realise how much I still miss Matt!