A/N: Greetings and Salutations! I hope everyone had a fantabulous holiday season. I spent the week before Christmas in Disney getting some hours of work in, and it was like seventy degrees.

Does. Not. Compute.

Do you know how strange it is to be buying Christmas presents and opening Hanukkah presents while melting in the heat? (I am agnostic, but live in the outskirts of the bible belt in North Carolina and am culturally and genetically Jewish, so YAY, both holidays!) Bottom line, it's weird.

On the way back, I got a review requesting a scene where Megamind discovers Christmas. Now, I have a feeling that Megs has at least some semblance of awareness about the holiday season, so I decided to take a few liberties with the prompt. Actually, I am writing this chapter completely free-hand (or free-type) so I could be wrong. Either way, I am writing this so punctually (for me, at least), mainly due to the anonymous Guest who wished for a Krissmiss scene. So, YAY for the Anonymous Reviewer! Furthermore, this chapter will probably have only two kidnappings, since I just typed up the first one and found it to be as long as the entire previous chapter. So, Kidnapping # 58 will have to wait.

As you will soon notice, both of the following scenes result in the same conclusion from our lovely reporter. The reason for this is that it is the holidays and it's hard to deny Megamind anything during such a fantabulous time.

…The real reason is that the two scenes follow the same story arc because I thought it best to keep the holiday scenes together. Also, I had to break my usual method of randomizing the various kidnappings because of the length and connectedness of the two situations. Sorry about that, but I really do like this holiday arc. Story arcs make me happy. However, I am running a little low on new ideas for story arcs such as the Snuggie and the Minion stories. Any ideas?

As always, I get my best inspiration when I receive prompts or suggestions from you, the helpless people of Metro…. Er, this website. I just have to ask myself…Who would I be without you?...Or your suggestions?!

Anyway, as always, I have rambled on enough. Time for the disclaimer, which I have been assured that people actually read! While this makes me happy, I now feel pressure. Damn… I have to be amusing. Well…

Disclaimer: As of December 25th, I now own a Finn the Human hat, an ever-dwindling amount of peppermint saltwater taffy, an automatic yarn winder for my knitting, a phone case with my ten-letter first name (minus the hyphen) written on it, a Wayne Brady CD and a fourth copy of Beetlejuice on DVD. So, I'm ok with not owning Megamind. I guess. For a week or so, at least.

Kidnapping # 31

'Twas the week before Christmas,

and walking through the city,

Roxanne Ritchi felt a pang of self-pity…

No, that wasn't it. Not self-pity… maybe nervousness? It wasn't exactly fear; after being put in the middle of countless fights and explosions, it took a lot to really frighten the reporter. However, Roxanne couldn't completely disregard the thought that she was scared. She had unsurprisingly been chosen to head the Christmas interview series with Metro Man, who always spent the holiday season attending various fundraisers and benefits as opposed to only going out to fight or give a speech. Roxanne had been fine with this assignment; she had always felt guilty for lying to Jack, her loyal cameraman.

Jack was an older man, somewhere between fat and thin and just a bit taller than the short reporter herself. He had a fine head of thick gray hair and sparkling dark blue eyes, and his heavily lined face suggested that he had known his share of both joy and sorrow. Jack and his wife lived in a modest little apartment, and every year he and Martha made it a point to invite her over for Christmas dinner. Roxanne sincerely loved the couple, but she really did not like crowds…and Jack and Martha had four kids and nine grandchildren that always visited for the holidays. But now, she had the excuse that she and the crew who usually handled the serial stories had an assignment to do that night. Roxanne was pleased by this thought.

There was a catch, though. She had agreed to the assignment without reading the whole e-mail… it was required that she take off two weeks as the Christmas series would put her too far into overtime. As soon as Christmas was over, she would officially be on vacation until the middle of the second week of January. Even worse, Roxanne had forwarded the e-mail to her Mother in her excitement to finally have a legitimate reason to stay alone for the holidays and so now her Mother knew that she was free for New Years. As a result, Roxanne now was expected back home to visit the family… the family of Metro Man fanatics and nosy journalists and know-it-all mothers and stubborn fathers and jealous sorority-obsessed cousins who always wanted to know just how alien the aliens of Metro City really were, and…

Roxanne exhaled heavily, her breath fogging in the cold December air. She could handle it. She was Roxanne Ritchi, and Roxanne Ritchi was nothing if not capable. She refused to waste another moment of her day worrying about her family. She continued down the sidewalk, focusing once again on the decorated window displays that lined both sides of the street. She headed to the toy store, still needing to purchase something for her young nephew. She debated between various video games, board games, and puzzles before spotting a new section between the baby dolls and the bicycles.

The superhero section had been expanded to include the resident hero and his archenemy. Roxanne debated for a few minutes before giving up and picking a few different items at random. She could always save some of the other presents for the kid's birthday or something. She left the store, but stopped short as she noticed something in the window that she had missed on her way in.

Roxanne laughed as she examined the display that featured small figurines of Megamind and Metro Man fighting with candy cane swords and wearing Santa hats in front of a little Christmas tree decorated with tiny brainbot ornaments. She went back into the store and found the figurine set. She laughed all over again. It was thirty bucks, but there was a little Minion and the brainbot ornaments glowed in the dark…

Roxanne bought the last three.

Roxanne completed the purchase and walked out, still giggling a little. Wayne would get a kick out of it, and Jack would laugh that big-belly laugh when he came in and found it set up on his desk. They would also look absolutely fantastic on the mantle of her fireplace. She never noticed the hand that stretched out seemingly from nowhere, but she did hear a familiar hiss from a certain aerosol can…

When she came to, she blurted out what had concerned her the moment she had heard the sound of the spray.

"If you guys lost all the presents I just bought, I promise you that I will make your life miserable…"

"Don't worry Miss Ritchi, I have all the packages." The kidnapping bag was gently removed, and Minion smiled at her a little fearfully.

Roxanne calmed down enough to smile back at the polite fish, but tensed up a little as she heard a rustling sound. Turning, she saw a familiar slender blue figure peering curiously into one of the several shopping bags.

"What it is about this time of year? I mean, honestly, it seems as though everyone has birthday parties on the twenty-fifth. Is it some kind of tradition or something? Or is it the result of some strange human mating ritual that culminates in mass celebrations beneath strangely decorated pine trees?"

Megamind stopped rooting through the bags when Roxanne snickered.

"Yes, Megamind, that is exactly the reason. There is a crazy mating ritual that takes place in March, so most of humanity is born in December."

"That makes sense." Megamind nodded thoughtfully, and Roxanne let out another peel of laughter. Her laughter slowly faded as she realized that Megamind was actually serious.

"Megamind, I was just joking. Those aren't really birthday presents."

"Of course they are! They are obviously tailored to the recipient's personality, so they can't be house-warming gifts. The only other explanation I could see for picking out a thoughtful present could be either to celebrate one's birth or an anniversary, and from the pie cookware set obviously meant for Mrs. Martha Gainer, it is obviously not an anniversary present since they were married in the spring." Megamind reasoned, gesturing emphatically to the fancy ceramic set she planned to send home with Jack. Roxanne was a little dazed by the rapidity of his argument, and decided to address the last part of his speech rather than the main issue.

"…How do you know the baking stuff is for Martha? Actually, how do you know who Martha is?"

"Well, she's Jack's mate- I mean wife, and Jack Gainer is your cameraman. She's quite nice, and her pies are absolutely fantastic. I met them a little while back, when their grandson got mixed up in that delinquent crowd at his high school."

Roxanne vaguely remembered that incident. A few years ago, back when kidnappings were few and far between, Jack had been out for a week or so, which meant Roxanne's kidnapping had gone unrecorded. His oldest grandchild Christopher, who was fifteen at the time, had become friendly with some of the less reputable students at his school. He had been offered a lift home when the car was pulled due to a broken taillight, but unfortunately the cop recognized the driver enough to warrant a search of the vehicle. Even though Chris had no idea that the student was a dealer, his presence landed him in a holding cell for several hours. Jack and Martha had accompanied the boy's parents to the jail and shortly after the charges were dropped. Roxanne had always sort of wondered how that had happened, but at the time, she had been a little distracted by the fight and subsequent arrest of the blue criminal in front of her.

"Anyway, back to the subject." Megamind declared, gesturing at the various bags and packages. "As we have already determined, these gifts are too specific to be anything other than a celebration of the individual. If it is not a birthday or anniversary occasion, what is the reason for this random desire to exchange presents? I mean, just look at this-"

Roxanne studied the blue man, who had resumed his energetic perusal of her purchases. She glanced over at Minion, who was also watching Megamind with a look of both indulgence and disbelief.

"Does he really not know what Christmas is?" Roxanne murmured quietly to the fish.

"Krissmiss? What is this Krissmiss?" Megamind's head popped up, confused.

"I suppose not, Miss Ritchi. I never got around to explaining it to the boss, and it's never really come up before in conversation…"

"Ahem, what is Krissmiss?"

"He's never heard of Christmas? Good god, I knew he was naïve, but seriously, a childhood without Christmas…?"

"And Krissmiss is… what, exactly?"

"Well, the only people in the prison who celebrated Christmas took it from a religious standpoint, and Sir had never really bothered with that aspect when there were so many other interesting scientific phenomena, and he had already read the bible once…"

"For the love of Stephen Tyler, WHAT IS THIS KRISSMISS?!"

Roxanne and Minion both stared at Megamind, who looked torn between pouting about being ignored and angry that he was being denied knowledge. Roxanne began to explain.

"Christmas is a certain holiday that is celebrated in countries all over the world. It has religious roots and draws heavily upon Christianity, however it has become secularized enough that even non-religious people celebrate it. Do you know the nativity story?"

Megamind nodded impatiently, and spouted out the story quickly and effortlessly. Roxanne had a sneaking suspicion that it was verbatim from the bible.

"Yes, well, that story soon translated into a celebration that slowly gained popularity. Various traditions became associated with the season, and now it is almost equally considered a religious and a social celebration. You buy presents for friends and loved ones to show that you are thinking about them and acknowledge their presence in your life. Sometimes the presents are serious, sometimes they're funny, but either way, it is an expression of unselfish acknowledgement that you value or appreciate someone. It's so much fun to pick out presents and wrap them up and surprise people!" Her eyes began to sparkle as she enthused about her favorite holiday.

"I agree, Miss Ritchi! Even though Sir usually spends the holiday season in the lair, I usually make something special, like a new dish or new cape, even if I always forget to explain the reason, and-"

Megamind absorbed this information with a serious expression. He glanced between Roxanne and Minion, who both shared excited expressions. He bit his lip thoughtfully, brows furrowed. He clapped once in his usual gesture, having come to a decision. Striding majestically over to a large computer console, he began typing furiously. Behind him, Roxanne and Minion continued to share their opinions about the holiday season.

They had just begun comparing the various holiday specials when they noticed a large number of brainbots flying past them, carrying a large pine tree. Megamind continued typing, studying various images over the internet and relaying commands to his cyborg army.

As they watched, several bots began to hang tesla coils and shiny gears on the various branches of the tree. Other bots rushed around, clutching bundles of cloth, unmarked boxes and sheets of aluminum alloy. Megamind continued typing, but let out a three note whistle. One of his helpers, the bot that Roxanne recognized as Scribe, handed Megamind a fountain pen and a clean sturdy piece of paper. He wrote a short letter, still typing with one hand, then handed it to Scribe to put in an envelope. He wrote two words on the outside and asked the cyborg to take it to a particular country club downtown. As Scribe whirred away, Roxanne got a good glimpse at the elegant calligraphy that decorated the front.

To Wayne

She and Minion exchanged baffled looks, and then suddenly Megamind was in front of them. Ignoring the questions the two were asking, he propelled Minion over to where some bots had somehow conjured up a large comfortable leather couch, then danced over to Roxanne. Megamind lifted Roxanne effortlessly, disregarding her surprised squeak and placed her next to his best friend. He untied her hands and rushed away, unmindful of his confused companions. Roxanne briefly considered leaving, but she was too curious. What was going on?

Mere moments after the caped figure had scooted out of sight, Metro Man flew through an open skylight, decked out in a snowy white cape, scarf, ear muff and glove set. He took in the sight of a hesitantly welcoming henchman and an unrestrained Roxanne, then shook his head and sat on the large couch as well.

"When I read that I was being "cordially invited" to the lair, I half-thought it was a joke, but it seems like the blue guy was being serious. What's going on here, Roxie?"

"Don't ask me, Wayne." Roxanne had recognized the circumstances. While Metro Man really did consider Megamind to be villainous and unstable, there was no denying that he followed a strange set of sportsmanlike rules. Whenever he addressed the hero as Wayne it meant that he was calling for a momentary time-out in fighting. Metro Man was never completely able to act civil to his blue enemy, but Megamind threw himself into the break whole-heartedly, exchanging his condescending attitude and contrived maniacal laughter for a friendly openness and childish immaturity. It had been this way for a long time, but while Roxanne recognized these episodes to be a break from the performance, Metro Man still considered them to be a sporadic and unstable mood change that was less than sincere. The awkward silence was interrupted by the appearance of their host, donning his traditional skull-print Snuggie and a large red bag and followed by Pinky with a large tray of mugs and three plates of cookies. Roxanne smelled the hot chocolate as the pink cyborg hummed over to Metro Man. Hesitantly, debating the likelihood of poison, he reached for a mug, but Roxanne interrupted him.

"No, that mug is mine. I like extra marshmallows." Before he could stop her, Roxanne took a large gulp of the drink. He stared at her, horrified at her carelessness, but she merely swallowed and raised an eyebrow at Megamind, who was fussing with the drawstring of his bag.

"I thought Minion was the one who made the drinks."

"Well, who do you think made the recipe? Sir is the one who likes chocolate; I have difficulties digesting it." Minion chimed in, reaching towards a small plate of cookies. He showed the reporter that his plate only had sugar or gingerbread cookies while theirs had chocolate chip and peppermint as well.

Bewildered at the thought of Megamind in the kitchen, Metro Man dazedly accepted the drink and plate from the patient pink robot. Mechanically he took a sip, noting that here was another aspect where Megamind showed unnatural aptitude.

Meanwhile, Megamind was kneeling beneath his steam-punk style tree, pulling out three silver packages and still muttering to his pets. Minion noticed this and whispered quietly to the two people next to him.

"I believe we are exchanging presents. I have some things to give… I'll be right back." He hurried away, and after a silent conversation Metro Man silently sped away as well, using his super-speed to do some last-minute shopping. Roxanne walked over to the corner where her packages were, and stared sorting through them. The brainbots had left some spare wrapping materials nearby, so she had a way to wrap her gifts up. Having already picked out Wayne's present, she needed to find something for the other two aliens. Looking through the bag from the kitchen store, Roxanne spotted the cookbook that had been included when she bought Martha's present. Minion would probably appreciate it. Now, what about Megamind…? Eyes lighting up, she grinned and dug through her toy store purchases…

A short while later they were all sitting on the couch. Megamind was sitting on the floor, his green eyes sparkling as he grinned openly at the sight of nine more presents that had joined his three gifts on the floor. Minion, realizing that Megamind probably wanted to see how to proceed, volunteered to go first.

He handed Metro Man a brightly wrapped package, which turned out to be a CD of Elvis' Greatest Hits. Minion smiled bashfully, explaining that he had once heard him humming an Elvis song when an invention had been "warming up" and had remembered it when he saw the CD. Metro Man thanked the fish, smiling despite his confusion as he read the track list.

Roxanne opened her gift to find a recipe book entitled "101 Ways to Use Ramen Noodles" and a gift card to her grocery. She laughed, remembering joking with Minion about how she had basically lived off of the cheap noodles in college. She thanked him, making him flutter his fins in embarrassment.

Megamind quickly untied the ribbon on his gift box and opened it to reveal a new pair of handmade leather gloves. Minion explained he had combined insulated rubber in the treatment to allow the gloves to hold body heat without sacrificing the skintight qualities necessary for fiddling around with inventions. Megamind let out an impressed whistle and put them on immediately, thanking his "fantastic fish" enthusiastically and exchanging a fist bump.

Metro Man, apparently convinced by the presence of "the King" volunteered next. All of his presents were roughly the same size, wrapped in his usual colors. Minion unwrapped his first and found a CD named "Cape Cod Soundscapes"; Metro Man explained that it always reminded him of a restaurant named The Codfish near the harbor that made the best burgers. Minion nodded, mentioning he particularly loved their version of the traditional black-and-blue burger. Metro Man barely refrained from asking how the fish had managed to pull off dining in such a public restaurant and handed Roxanne her present.

Unwrapping the gift, Roxanne rolled her eyes at the custom made CD entitled "Insane Playlist". It was a running joke between the two that Roxanne was ridiculously unstructured when it came to playlists; oftentimes a classic Motown song was immediately followed with a death metal track before moving on towards a classical sonata. She thanked him, reading with difficulty the scribbled list of songs on the insert of the case.

Megamind peeled off the paper of his gift and stared with awe at the collection of Classic Rock that he found inside. Metro Man explained that it contained some of his favorites, including songs by Queen, Styx, Heart and Kiss. Megamind thanked him and asked him what his favorite track was, to which the tall hero replied that it was probably track number eight. Megmind promised that he would remember that for his next big entrance, making Wayne wonder how exactly Megamind would make a dramatic entrance with the comparatively mellow beginning of "Carry On Wayward Son".

Having determined what was expected of him, Megamind went next. He handed Minion a large parcel, laughing as the fish's eyes bulged as he felt the weight of the gift. Unwrapping it, he found what resembled a sophisticated sewing machine, if one ignored the spikes and chains that decorated it. Megamind explained the functions, stating he was unimpressed with the one Minion was currently using and had instead planned on giving him this invention as soon as the old one died. Minion gaped at his gift, stammering a thank you as he noticed the sturdy contraption that allowed even his large mechanical fingers to fit around while still being precise enough for daintier jobs.

Metro Man opened his gift next to reveal a signed CD of Kid Rock. Megamind explained that the rock star had visited the prison because an old friend was serving time there and had been gracious enough to sign the CD that he had asked (or ordered) a guard to carry over. He nodded his thanks, running his fingers over the autograph. Sure he was a hero, but even celebrities get star-struck.

Roxanne was handed a soft package, and Megamind looked apprehensive as she opened the gift. He relaxed as she smiled widely and immediately donned the snowflake printed Snuggie. He explained that he had wanted to wrap up "Her Snuggie", as they called it (Wayne raised one eyebrow at this) but he wanted to keep a backup in case they ever kidnapped her and forgot to grab the new light blue one. Wayne tensed up at the mention of kidnapping, but Roxanne merely nodded, finding it imminently reasonable. Thanking him, she shook back her sleeves and stood.

Roxanne usually hated going last because she always worried that someone else had gotten the same gift, but she was excited as she watched Minion unwrap the book of pie recipes. Minion smiled brightly, promising to make her a pie the first chance he got. He flipped eagerly through the book, brown eyes shining as he considered which one to try first.

Metro Man burst out into laughter when he opened his gift, even allowing his blue enemy to see what he got. Megamind laughed as well, and called for one of his bots to bring him some peppermint. He flourished his stick dramatically, and he and Wayne carried out a mock fencing fight complete with candy puns and wintery references. Metro Man slowly began to realize who he was fighting, but before he could break up whatever this thing was, a laughing Minion reminded Megamind that he still needed to open his present.

Megamind settled down and gently accepted the small gift from Roxanne. He smiled up at her, making her grin back a little foolishly. He opened it up and froze, staring at the gift. He raised his head slowly, holding up the contents of the present and staring challengingly at the three still figures on the couch.

"Of course you realize, this means WAR!"

Twenty minutes later, Megamind was dancing around the room, having beaten Metro Man's last card of a Queen of Hearts (featuring a determined Roxanne) with his Ace of Spades (featuring a smirking Megamind). Minion and Roxanne had lost early on, and had been playing with the music system in the lair and their new CDs.

"I beat you, I beat you, I, Me, MEGAMIND, beat YOU! HAHAHA!"

Even Metro Man couldn't stop himself from applauding as Megamind performed a particularly impressive dance move before bowing dramatically just as Roxanne's CD ended. Megamind smiled at his audience, then nodded once, clapping his hands as he came to a decision.

"Alright, so I have decided that Krissmiss deserves respect. Therefore, I propose a ceasefire until the first week of January, after the Metrocity Fireworks, in keeping with the Krissmissian spirit. Agreed?" Metro Man nodded once tersely, realizing he had forgotten that he was currently hanging out with his archenemy, but Roxanne interrupted as she remembered her obligations.

"I can't! I won't be back in town until at least the tenth. My family is forcing me home for New Years. The only fireworks I am going to get will be from fighting with my annoying parents and stupid cousins."

Megamind looked disappointed at this, but Minion quickly suggested that they could wait until the twelfth or so, just in case. Megamind nodded, but his eyes took on a familiar puckish sparkle as an idea began to form.

It was getting late, and Roxanne was almost disappointed to mention that she had to get home. Megamind quickly gathered up everyone's presents and dehydrated them so they could carry them home, even dehydrating her earlier purchases since Metro Man had volunteered (or insisted) on taking her home. Waving goodbye and exchanging season's greetings, the two slowly floated up through the ceiling. Roxanne looked down, watching as Megamind examined his presents with awe. She was glad that she had been there for his first Christmas. Looking down at her Snuggie, which she still wore, Roxanne smiled softly at the thought of the impromptu ceasefire and Christmas party. Megamind had definitely embraced the Christmas spirit.

Conclusion: Impressed

Kidnapping # 32

Roxanne fought the urge to bang her head against the table for the umpteenth time that night. It was around ten PM on the 31st, and she cursed the rule against alcohol that her parents had always enforced. She ruefully acknowledged that if it weren't for that rule she probably would have become an alcoholic years ago. She loved her family…in theory. In practice, it was more of a "barely tolerate" mentality.

"Honestly Roxanne, you should have invited that handsome hero of yours over here, we have plenty of room, and it is only proper, you know…" Rita Ritchi clucked her tongue at her daughter, picking up yet another empty platter from the table. No matter how many times she tried to explain that she was not dating anybody, her entire family still firmly believed that she and the caped crusader were close to announcing an engagement.

"Aunt Rita, it's obvious why Rox doesn't want to bring Metro-Hunk over to meet the family."

"She knows that he would trade up the moment he saw us."

Ah, Jenny and Jessie. Her twin cousins were seniors at Metro University, both majoring in communications as was typical of the family. The two looked completely different from Roxanne; tall, tanned, blonde and curly haired with athletic builds. Roxanne groaned as they continued explaining the reasons for her supposed rationale behind the absence of the caped crusader.

"That's not the reason, girls. The reason is that my little Roxie is too selfish to share her handsome catch with the rest of us."

"Oh hush, Rita." Robert Ritchi snorted, crossing his burly arms and rolling his eyes. "The real reason is that Roxanne just doesn't trust you all to behave yourselves. I would obviously be fine, since I know Metro Man the best. It's a guy thing."

"Bob, that is just plain ridiculous."

"Well, Uncle Bob is right that Rox shouldn't trust us. We would break them up in a snap." Jessie flipped her hair arrogantly as Jenny snapped her manicured fingers.

James, the older brother of the two twins, let out a derisive snicker. "I wish Metro Man would switch to you two. If Megamind ever got ahold of you both, I don't think you could manage to survive the ordeal. What if you broke a nail?"

"Shut up, James. We could totally handle being Metro Man's damsels in distress. Besides, identical twins mean double the fun."

Roxanne sighed, glad to have shifted the focus from her relationship status. She glanced out the window, knowing that a mere two hour drive would find her back at Metro Park, preparing to watch the annual Metro City Fireworks. As her cousins continued to argue that they would be excellent victims, Roxanne caught sight of two faces peering in at the window, one waving excitedly and the other examining the situation. Biting back a diabolical smile, Roxanne motioned towards the backyard and indicated that she needed five minutes. She convinced her parents to allow her to finish up with the cleaning; they never stayed up till midnight, even on New Year's.

Once her parents were gone, Roxanne turned to the still arguing siblings.

"So, you two think you would make better kidnapping targets than me?"

"Uh, no duh."

"Want to prove it?" Without another look, Roxanne dumped the rest of the trash into the garbage and strode out the back door. The blonde siblings all shared looks before rushing out after her, Jessie in the lead.

"And how, exactly, are we supposed to prove-"Jenny was interrupted when she bumped into her sister, who had frozen in shock at the sight in front of her. James took one look around his two frozen sisters before scampering back in the house.

"Miss Ritchi, when you asked for a few minutes I didn't think it was because you wanted eye-witnesses." The blue man was amused to see the two young women shaking in front of him. Roxanne, appreciating the sight just as much, began the introductions.

"Megamind and Minion, Jessie and Jenny; Jenny and Jessie, Minion and Megamind." The aliens nodded cordially to the pale twins, who merely squeaked in response. "Now, my two lovely cousins are convinced that you and Metro Man would be much happier replacing me with the two of them, saying that identical twins mean twice the value. What do you think?"

Megamind studied the two blondes in front of him. Jessie and Jenny hesitantly met his gaze…and then couldn't stop staring. Roxanne could sympathize, having felt the magnetic pull of those incredible green eyes multiple times. They really were the most gorgeous eyes in the world…

Jessie and Jenny were hypnotized by the alien's intense gaze. Yes, he was blue and dangerous and insane…but hot damn, his eyes were more deadly than any of his inventions. They both donned identical blushes, but still remained silent. They jumped as Megamind clapped his hands together.

"Impossible. First; there are two of them, making it too easy to force Metro Man into sacrificing one of them. It would just be unsporting to take two victims…merely hang one over the alligators and tie another to a bomb and it would be too difficult even for Metro Man to rescue them both and stop me." The girls swallowed, trembling at the thought. Megamind continued.

"Second, they are obviously not as well-spoken as you, nor do they seem particularly remarkable. They have barely said a single word to me, and a villain always does best with an appropriate valuable victim." Roxanne struggled not to blush, recognizing that as a compliment. Megamind gestured at her cousins again.

"Third, their claim that identical twins give them an advantage is wrong since I can easily tell the difference between them. They aren't completely identical."

Now that took everyone by surprise. No one had ever been able to tell the difference between the two sisters.

"Minion, turn him around." Minion flipped his boss around, finding this game entertaining while Roxanne darted forwards and switched the girls around, then quietly nudged them back into their previous spots. Megamind was turned back around.

"They are still in the same place. That's Miss Jessie and that's Miss Jenny." He pointed to one twin and then the other.

"How could you possibly know that?"

"Isn't it obvious? Miss Jessie has a tiny birthmark on her right hand that Miss Jenny doesn't." Everyone stared at Jessie's hand, including the blonde herself. No one had ever noticed that before.

"Now this was fun, but enough games. We are running short on time and I'd like to get this kidnapping going. I reject the twin idea."

"We only care about Metro Man." Jenny blurted out, incensed by the abrupt dismissal. She squeaked when Megamind shot her a patronizing look, those deep green eyes silencing her.

"He would never replace Roxanne with you two. He's not an idiot or a masochist." As the twins began to tear up, he let out the killing blow. "And he hates blondes."

The twins let out two loud wails and ran back into the house. Minion smiled apologetically as he shook the familiar aerosol can, and the next thing Roxanne knew was darkness.

When she opened her eyes, she was surprised to see Metro Man sitting next to her. Looking around, she noticed she was at the park in Metro City.

"Where's Megamind and Minion?" Roxanne asked Wayne, looking around.

"Well, the firework show is about to begin."

"So…?" Roxanne's eyes widened as she realized the reason why there were never any kidnappings on New Year's.

"Yeah, they've been doing it for years. 'Course that's a secret between the city planner, the mayor, the warden and myself, got that? No reporting."

Roxanne nodded, and the fireworks began. She had always loved these fireworks, ever since her first year in Metro City. The knowledge that such a beautiful and impressive display was the brain-child of the most hated criminal in the city made her admire them even more. Here was yet another example of the duality of Megamind… and then a particularly spectacular explosion left the crowd ooh-ing and ahh-ing. For the next half-hour, Roxanne drank in the sight of the impressive show, joining the thunderous applause when the final surge of rockets exploded.

Metro Man flew her back, laughing as Roxanne explained what had happened before her "kidnapping". They landed in the backyard, and Roxanne could see three pairs of blue eyes staring wide-eyed at them from the curtains. Roxanne curtsied dramatically, and Metro Man played along, puffing up impressively and waving as he headed back to Metro City.

Walking into the house, Roxanne braced herself for a confrontation. However, the only question her cousins could think of left her in awe of the blue villain's psychological strategies.

"Is it true Metro Man hates blondes?"

Conclusion: Impressed (the fireworks AND the trouble twins? Happy Holidays indeed!)

A/N: So, there we have it. It is currently 2:03 AM on the 31st of December and I am ready for sleep. Hopefully you guys read the ridiculously long author's note at the beginning of this chapter; I explained the irregularity of having put consecutive stories together.

I am soooo tired. I will probably add on some more when I revise this tomorrow.

A/N 2: Hey there! It is 4:45 and I just re-read this chapter. It looks good to me, so I am heading off to update now. If I missed anything, let me know.

I really loved this chapter, so I hope you guys did too. If I could draw I would have illustrated the party scene for you all... I can see it so clearly!

I hope you all had a fabulous holiday season. I will talk to you all next year!

Don't forget to please review and offer suggestions, they really help me out.

As usual, I love you all! TTYL!