Epilogue

Sam stood at the bottom of the ladder and hesitated. She took a slow breath of the frosty air and watched it puff out in a small, white cloud. Still unable to summon her resolve, she leaned her head against the ladder for a brief moment and tried to gather her thoughts. Her mind was reeling. It had been a nice evening. A bit quiet and a bit tinged with sadness, but it had been nice. Certainly not the greatest Christmas of all time, although they had enjoyed the evening at Janet's place. It had just been missing one thing.

Daniel.

The pain of realizing he wasn't with them still hit her hard. She sighed and looked upwards. The Colonel had left the party about an hour ago and she had correctly guessed where he had gone. They all knew how hard he had been taking Daniel's death, or disappearance, or whatever. It didn't matter what you called it. He was gone and, as hard as it was on all of them, she knew the Colonel was internalizing his pain in a big way. Which was why she was here. Perhaps against her better judgment. She reached a hand up and started to climb.

Arriving at the top, she was surprised to have a hand reach down to assist her over the edge. She took the Colonel's hand. "Thanks, sir."

"Welcome." He pulled her up, then sat back down and took another sip of whiskey.

Sam sat down next to him, casting a surreptitious glance his way. He didn't look good, but not as bad as she'd feared. Apparently, she'd arrived before he'd started the binge she suspected he was intending to spend the night working on. He wasn't looking at her, wasn't talking, wasn't offering her a drink. However, he also hadn't sent her away. That was a good sign. She just wasn't sure what to do now. It had been her idea to check on him; she hadn't told anyone her plan, and now she didn't have a clue why she'd even come.

"I don't want to talk, Carter." He spoke up very softly, after a few minutes. Jack knew why she was here. He appreciated her thoughtfulness, but the last thing, the very last thing he wanted to do was talk.

"I don't want to, either, sir." Sam replied truthfully. Talking didn't help anything. Talking hadn't done anything to save Daniel and talking wasn't bringing him home now. She felt the tears beginning in her eyes. The icy air stung her cheeks.

Jack heard her sniffs. She was trying to hide them in her collar, but he heard them. He hated this; hated that she was crying. Hated that he'd done nothing to help her grieve all this time. He'd just shut everyone out. That was what he did. What he'd always done. It didn't make it right, though. He turned and looked at her, sick at heart at the sorrow in her eyes. Sorrow not just for Daniel, but also for him. He touched her cheek, gently wiping away the tears.

"I'm sorry, Sam." Jack whispered hoarsely. He couldn't say anything else; he didn't have the words. Pulling her closer, he felt her head drop onto his shoulder. Like it belonged there. He kept his arm over her shoulders as he picked up his glass. Taking another sip, something he'd said a while ago came flooding back unbidden.

"I'm trying to tell you that I think you're right where you belong. But if you really think there's somewhere else you want to be...If you ask me, I'll let you go."

Looking up at the winter sky, he shook his head slowly. What had he been thinking? When he'd said those words back in T'zabt, he had been trying to make a point to Daniel. Make the point that he belonged with them. He thought his words had worked. Daniel had seemed better after that. The lost and confused aura had left him. For a while. As expected, the missions were long and hard; the moral issues battered them both and left Daniel lost yet again. And then, just when Jack thought they were getting back on track again...Kelowna. His stomach still burned when he thought about that fiasco that had cost him his best friend. His words came back to haunt him.

I'll let you go.

Well, he had done just that. Let him go. And had hated himself ever since, even though he knew in his gut that it had been the only thing he could have done. All he had left now was an inexplicable confidence that Daniel was still out there somewhere. He wasn't dead. He was just gone. But he'd be back. There was no way that Oma and her glowy pals were good company. All that candlelight and fire, meal cooking nonsense. What kind of fun could you really have as a mystical gibberish-spouting enigma? Nah, Daniel wouldn't like that for long. He'd realize he was in the wrong place. He'd get tired of being that smart. Wouldn't he?

Jack drained his glass of whiskey and glared at the stars. I know you didn't have a lot of options at the time, Daniel, and I know you thought you could do more this way, but it's not where you belong. I wish you'd hurry up and realize you were wrong and I was right. Yes I was. Don't even try to argue, moralize or otherwise contradict me. I was right. So get your butt back down here and just admit it.

I don't want to go to that museum without you.

~~~~~~~~~~THE END~~~~~~~~~~

Thank God for season 7! :)

Hope it wasn't too sad, but this scene has been in my mind almost since the very beginning and was kind of what everything was leading up to all along. This story was my attempt to give a bit more of a background to the team relations and situations that developed during S5, culminating with Meridian.

Thank you all again for reading and reviewing so faithfully. It's meant the world to me! I really can't believe this is complete now! I'm going to miss writing and all of you. But I do have other plot bunnies I'm feeding and watching grow, so I'm sure I'll be back. Hope to hear from you all sometime in the future. This has been fun, thanks again! ~Blessings, Noxbait :)