Kyle, Kenny and Stan were playing basketball to savour the last few hours of the weekend. It was just getting dark and the streetlights around the basketball court had begun to pathetically flicker on. They would quite often savour the last hours of the weekend together to make it last that little bit longer.

"Hey didn't Cartman say he was coming tonight?" Kenny muffled when the ball hit his chest after Kyle had thrown it to him.

"He told me he was coming." Stan said whilst holding his arms out and gesturing with flicks of his fingers for Kenny to throw the ball to him.

Kenny threw the ball and Stan caught it with his arms still outstretched. He then pivoted on the ball of his foot to face the net high above him. Knowing he was going to try to throw it up, Kyle and Kenny joined him at his sides.

Stan's tongue inadvertently stuck out at the corner of his mouth as his eyes narrowed and he held the ball at arm's length, pointing it up towards the hoop as he aimed.

He then bent his knees and elbows ready to fire himself up and just as he did a call from behind the three shocked him making him jump off balance and throw the ball so it hit the ring.

"You guys!" Cartman shouted whilst running into the court, throwing his weight around at his sides.

Kyle and Kenny turned around first whilst Stan remained looking at the ball as it hit the floor again and rolled away from him.

"You guys!" Cartman shouted again before coming to a halt and breathing deeply with his hands on his knees and the rest of his body bent over them exhausted from running the short distance there from his house. Anyone else who saw him would've thought he was in pain if not for his beaming smile that was still glowing.

"What the hell fatass?" Kyle said in the silence whilst waiting for Cartman to catch his breath.

Cartman just looked impatiently at him and straightened up again.

"You would not believe what I have just heard!"

Stan joined them after picking up the ball and kept it tucked under his arm.

"I've just been talking to my cousin because my mom says he's broken his leg and I was forced, against my will, to say get well soon and the usual crap. But let's face it I might as well be some stranger off the street saying get well soon it's not like he knows me!"

The three looked at each other confused to see if any of them had any idea where this was going. Cartman watched them do this and ignored it but spoke a little faster to keep their simple minds engaged.

"But anyway get this. There's a programme at his school that allows him to make a wish to the teachers and class…and he'll get it! He can wish for anything in the world and the teachers will let him have it!"

Kenny's eyes widened in surprise and Stan and Kyle felt like doing the same but they didn't want to seem too interested until they heard more so they just stayed silent and waited expectantly for Cartman to continue.

"My cousin said he wished for a huge ice cream sundae to be delivered to his house every day he was ill, with extra chocolate sprinkles and raspberry sauce with gummy bears mixed inside…and he got it!"

Kenny's mouth now hung open just as Stan's and Kyle's eyes widened.

"Are you serious?" Kenny muffled as a screech through his parka.

"Oh I'm deadly serious!"

"No way!" Stan agreed in awe.

"Do we have that at our school?" Kyle asked.

"No dude or Timmy would've gotten something ages ago. Our school's not that cool." Stan sighed and Kenny also dropped his shoulders in disappointment.

"Not yet its not." Cartman smiled making the three boys look sharply up at him.

"What do you mean?" Kenny asked though he hoped he knew.

"I've got my mother on the phone to Mr. Mackay right now requesting this new programme be introduced to the school to *ahem* improve the quality of the children's happiness during times of sorrow both in and out of school." He said with his hands clasped and head raised as he repeated what he must've asked his mom to say earlier.

"Dude!" Kenny shouted with glee.

"What do we have to do to get wishes?" Kyle asked excitedly.

"Well my cousin broke his leg and he wished for a sundae but you can undergo any physical injury or in a few exceptions have a deep and burrowing emotional problem."

Kyle's and Stan's shoulder's drooped again; what were the chances of them getting injured any time soon if they haven't already?

"Wahoo!" Kenny cheered next to them and threw his arms in the air making the others look at him in confusion.

"…Anyway…" Cartman continued. "If all goes to plan any day now we can have any wish we want in the world come true if ever we get injured!" He said excitedly.

"Great." Kyle said sarcastically.

Cartman's wide eyelids dropped to half way down his eyes and his beaming smile fell to a small straight line. "Kahl…just…seriously."

"What?"

"Just…stop being such a negative Nancy alright?"

Kyle rolled his eyes and looked away and Cartman's wide eyes and broad smile grew back and focused on Stan for the reaction he wanted.

Stan stared back at him and at Kenny. "Yeah, that sounds pretty cool."

"You bet your ass it does!" Cartman cheered and Kenny joined him shouting with glee and jumping up and down.

The next day at school Kenny, Kyle, Stan and Cartman stepped off the bus in front of South Park elementary and walked inside through the corridors.

"Good mornin' fellas!" Butters called as they walked past.

"Shut the hell up Butters." Cartman replied bluntly, and none of them gave him any acknowledgement.

"Oh, oh all right then." Butters replied in a hushed murmur and let his head drop.

When they made it to their class Mr. Garrison was already standing at the front of the room writing something on the board so the boys immediately took their seats with a few others in the classroom.

As everyone else made their way in they too were all surprised to see Mr. Garrison doing something this early in the morning and he was still facing the other way writing more on the board even as everyone had taken their seats. He eventually turned around to greet the class once he had finished.

"Good morning children. I've been looking over my term schedules and it appears that I have actually taught you all f*ck all." He started.

"Yeah we know." Stan said calmly and the rest of the class were also surprised he had only just noticed this.

"Well that's all going to change this term! We're all going to come out of this school term with some new knowledge in our heads!"

"You said that last year." Kyle stated and the rest of the class muttered in agreement.

"Yes well the reason we didn't learn last year is because I got distracted. So if I can go through this lesson with no interruptions I promise to teach you all something."

The whole class looked around at each other and then stayed silent.

"Alright then we'll start with-"

"Hello children!" Mr. Mackay called as he swung open the door and leant into the classroom.

"Ah screw it." Mr. Garrison moaned and went to sit at his desk.

"Children it has come to my attention that the school isn't up to date in terms of your happiness m'ckay. In fact in a recent inspection of the school it turns out almost half of you are emotionally depressed, now being depressed is bad m'ckay. We don't want you depressed m'ckay."

Kenny looked over to Cartman with a smile on his face and Cartman smiled back.

"So we are introducing a new programme that will benefit those of you in the room that are really sick m'ckay." Mr. Mackay continued and walked to the board and rubbed off all that Mr. Garrison had written that morning leaving him to sink his head into his hands.

"It's called: 'Take this wish'." He said slowly as he wrote each word on the board and the children now sat up in their seats and listened hard. "Now what this will do children m'ckay is help you in times of need, you see if you ever fall ill with a sickness or a physical injury-"

"What about an emotional problem?" Cartman called.

"M'ckay or an emotional problem, the school will grant you a wish to make you feel happier."

The class fell silent for a while with smiles growing larger on every face as they began to imagine their greatest wish until one boy at the back shouted in anger.

"That's it? That's how you're going to deal with my emotional problem? No counselling or therapeutic help?"

Mr. Mackay was stunned at this response and didn't know what to say.

"M'ckay."

The boy stood up and screamed in anger before diving out of the nearest window. The class and two teachers watched him do this in silence and then everyone turned back to Mr. Mackay.

"M'ckay, are there any other questions?"

At lunch the whole school was filled with excitement and everyone was talking about the new programme as every class had been told.

"I would wish for a shopping spree at the candy store!"

"No I'd get a puppy!"

"Or a new purse!"

"If I ever break my arm I'm gonna be soo happy." Craig muttered.

"Isn't this awesome you guys?" Cartman said to the other three as he looked around him from their bench in the cafeteria. "See how much happier the depressed kids are?"

"They're happy now but when they remember they'll need to break something to get a wish they'll soon go back to being depressed, in fact they'll probably be more inclined to hurt themselves!" Kyle said also watching the foolish faces with pity.

"Kahl…again…seriously"

"I didn't even know we had depressed kids, dude." Stan said to stop the argument.

"Well it's a good job I knew, for I am their saviour, the one that will pull them out of the dark…"

"Oh shut up! You just introduced this for yourself!" Kyle shouted.

Cartman narrowed his eyes at him.

"This is gonna be sweet you guys! What should I wish for first?" Kenny cheered and the three gave him the same confused look as before.

"Why would you even want this Cartman? For a back-up in case at some random point in the future at some random time something will happen to you?" Kyle said turning his attention back on Cartman.

"Who said it had to be random…" Cartman replied with a smile.

Kyle frowned at him and Stan did the same after looking back from Kenny, who was holding an old scrap piece of paper and scribbling down wishes. They knew what that smile meant. He has another plan and some way or another it always ends up getting them all in trouble.

That evening Cartman walked home from school with a spring in his step and a smile on his face, whistling a merry tune through the snow.

He arrived at his front door, took a deep breath in and suddenly dropped the smile. He stood frozen still on the front step, without blinking, until his eyes began to slightly water around the edges. He then began to tremble his lips and his eyebrows fell at one side to the corner of his eyes. He was ready.

He burst open his front door loud enough for his mom to hear and began to breathe deeply and heavily.

"Poopsikins is that you?" Leanne Cartman asked as she walked into the hall from the kitchen.

On seeing her sons red face and wet cheeks from the tears pouring from his eyes she immediately fell to the floor beside him, putting her arms around his shoulders.

"Oh my Eric, what's wrong?"

Cartman raised his gloved hand and brushed it under his nose before looking sorrowfully up at his mother.

"I'm sorry mom, I never meant for you to find out! Please don't leave me too mother please!" He cried and flung his arms around her.

"Leave sweetums? Where? What's wrong?"

"It's just…I just…" Cartman muffled in her shirt so Leanne held him out in front of her at arm's length to hear him.

"I just really wish I had a dad! Not because you're no fun just because all my friends have one and I feel like a freak mom!" Cartman cried and forced his way back into her.

Leanne looked down at him and stroked her hand across his hair. "Oh dear."

"I'm really emotionally troubled mom!" Cartman sobbed.

Leanne looked up from him but remained stroking his head as she thought hard about what to do.

During the silence Cartman cried a little louder to get her to say something and it worked.

"Well poopsikins, I think I might know what to do that'll make you feel better."

Cartman looked up at her and fluttered his eyelids. "Really?"

"Yes, you see I never told you this Eric but last month I put together a list of names of possible people who could be your father." She said guiltily and Cartman's cute innocent face dropped to one of confusion and anger.

"Huh?"

"Oh I'm sorry Eric I should've told you sooner but I didn't want to get your hopes up."

"No mom-"

"Let me go get it." She smiled and started to walk upstairs.

"God dam it." Cartman muttered. "No mom!" He shouted up to her and followed her into her room where she was reaching into a drawer in her bedside table.

"Mom no, that's not what I meant." Cartman started angrily and then softened his voice again remembering he was supposed to be upset. "What I think would make me better is help and support from my school and friends."

"Here it is!" Leanne cried and pulled out a small red address book.

"Mom you're not listening, remember that new programme 'Take this wish' with the school?"

Leanne didn't reply but began flicking through the pages and pages of names.

"Mom! I don't give a crap about your list, I want a wish!" Cartman called making her look up at him in shock. "Please…" He said quickly and sweetly.

"Really poopsikins?"

"Yes mother." He smiled and fluttered his eyes.

"And that's what will make you feel better?"

Cartman clasped his hands and rocked from side to side. "If it isn't too much trouble."

Leanne looked down at the book and then back up to her darling son's face. She then slid the book back into the drawer and went to engulf him in a warm hug.

"If that's what you want." She smiled and Cartman nodded slowly.

Leanne released him and smiled and then she started to leave the room but turned back to him in the doorway before she left. "I'll get your principal on the phone now." She said softly and walked back down the stairs leaving Cartman alone in the room.

"Yes…" He muttered rubbings his hands together. "Yes…YES!" He called.

He ran to his room and pulled out a pen and paper and began to think of the perfect wish, this was his one chance…he can't screw it up.