Disclaimer: I do not now, nor will I ever own Victorious. Bummer ...

Chapter One

The Funeral

"…And so, we gather here today to say farewell to a good … friend. One who will never be forgotten and always be in our hearts. Mr. Snickerdoodle was taken from us way too soon."

Mr. Sikowitz paused to evaluate the room. A few students were shifting in their seats; a couple more in the back were giggling. Jade West was sitting in the front row, with her arms crossed and a scowl on her face. Her boyfriend Beck Oliver had his arm around her, and was looking down at the ground.

"This is ridiculous", Jade whispered through gritted teeth.

"Just relax", Beck whispered back.

Mr. Sikowitz cleared his throat and continued speaking.

"Well, that's about it then. Would anyone like to say a few words about our deceased feline friend?"

The room went completely silent.

"Didn't think so", Mr. Sikowitz muttered. "Well – back to class then."

"Wait, I want to say something", piped up a small voice. A hand flew into the air, as the girl with bright red hair attached to it jumped up.

Cat Valentine quickly strutted up to the stage to join Mr. Sikowitz who looked completely grateful for a chance to sit down. He motioned toward the podium and looked around for a nearby chair. There was none, so he dropped down onto the floor.

"I only knew Mr. Snickerdoodle for a couple of weeks, but it was a great couple of weeks", began the redhead. "He came up to me one day as I was leaving school and rubbed against my leg. He seemed to be friendly so I gave him a cookie from my bag. That's where I got the name Mr. Snickerdoodle. Every day after school since then I'd always see him in the same spot waiting for me. I never saw him in the mornings, until this morning. When I found him … dead."

A few students snickered.

"Can you speed this up before the rest of us die also? We're not getting any younger, girl!" snapped Rex the puppet. Robbie Shapiro gasped and quickly covered the puppet's mouth with his hand.

"I wish I knew what happened to you, Mr. Snickerdoodle", Cat continued, hesitantly. "You were too young to die." She looked around the room at everyone, expecting some sadness, but it appeared to be quite the opposite. Cat caught Jade's eye, and gasped at the intense anger she saw.

"Ok, I'm done", Cat said, shuffling her feet back and forth. She looked over at Mr. Sikowitz who was still on the floor, nodding and shaking his head fervently, in what appeared to be a heavy debate with himself.

"Mr. Sikowitz?" Cat shyly tapped her teacher's shoulder.

"No, I can't have them do that in class. But it's a wonderful idea. But I think it might be illegal. But maybe not in this state!"

"Mr. … Sikowitz?" Cat slowly drew her arm away and shrugged.

"I'll look up the law to see if it's legal. I wonder where I'd find a list of laws. Is there a law book? Maybe I'll ask a lawyer. Mother had a good lawyer that time she robbed the bagel store. Maybe I'll give him a call. What was his name again, I think-?"

"HEY!" Jade shouted, standing up. "Can we please end this meaningless event? NOW?"

Beck slumped down into his seat, burying his face in his hand.

"Oh, the funeral!" exclaimed Mr. Sikowitz, getting up. "Is it over yet?" A few students shrugged. Others looked around confusedly.

"I just gave my speech", said Cat. "Maybe someone else wants to?"

"Noooo", came a few voices at once.

"Then I officially declare this funeral over. Please return to your classes everyone. Now where's my coconut?"

Everyone stood up and began to shuffle out of the classroom. Many people were laughing. Beck picked his girlfriend's bag off of the floor and handed it to her with a small smile.

"That wasn't so terrible, was it?"

"Yes." Jade snatched her bag.

"You're telling me. A funeral for a cat? That's crazy", Rex said as he and Robbie walked by.

"Not as crazy as ordering six boxes of pizza last night ", replied Robbie.

"Hey, man, those anchovies were delicious!" Rex shot back.

The pair of them left the room arguing.

Cat stood in place, swinging her arms back and forth. She smiled as Beck and Jade passed by.

"Thanks for coming you guys."

"No problem, Cat", answered Beck.

"Yeah, whatever", Jade said in a monotone, walking past the red-haired girl without even looking at her. Beck sighed loudly and then followed his girlfriend out.

Mr. Sikowitz, who was crouched in the corner with his coconut, sucked the remaining milk out and walked back over to the stage. He put the coconut down on the table and picked up the small black box. It was beginning to smell.

"Are you going to bury Mr. Snickerdoodle now?" asked Cat, skipping up to her teacher.

"Who?" Mr. Sikowitz furrowed his brow. "Oh, the cat. Yes, I'm going to bury him outside."

"Can I come? I want to say one last goodbye."

"Tell you what, Cat. You go to your class and then when school is over you can go over to where Mr. Stickerfoodle is buried and talk to him all night."

"But-" Cat protested.

"I am holding a dead, decaying, rather odorous cat in a box and I'd rather not be. Don't worry your pretty little synthetically red colored head. I'll take care of this."

And with that Mr. Sikowitz strutted out of the classroom, holding the box out in front of him. Cat stood there with her mouth open, as she had been about to respond, but forgot what she wanted to say. She closed her mouth and frowned.

"That was pretty dope, huh?" Andre Harris said, approaching. Tori Vega was next to him. "I mean really dope. We missed over half of class for this." At the sad look on Cat's face, Tori elbowed Andre in the ribs.

"I mean uh, what a meaningful experience." Andre put on the biggest smile he could muster.

"Sikowitz went to go bury Mr. Snickerdoodle and won't let me come", Cat spoke softly. "I wanted to say goodbye."

"I thought that the whole point of the funeral –oof", Andre shook his foot in pain when Tori stomped on it.

"Yes – saying goodbye is rather important", Andre said, making sure to pronounce each word. He quickly turned to scowl at Tori.

"I know it's kind of weird, but I really liked Mr. Snickerdoodle", Cat admitted.

"I guess it makes sense that you would get attached to a cat, huh", Tori remarked, smiling at her friend and reaching out to rub her arm.

"I just wish I could watch him get buried. Hey – do you guys want to come with me? Sikowitz couldn't have gotten too far."

"I'd love to, but I've got some math to learn". Andre dodged Tori's incoming foot and started running out of the classroom trying to hold back his laughter. Cat spun around to look at the doorway, but Andre was gone.

"I guess he really likes math", Cat said, turning back to Tori. "I don't. Too many numbers. That's why I'm glad cell phones can store numbers because how are we supposed to memorize them all? I wonder how people did it back in the old days before cell phones existed. So will you come with me to see Mr. Snickerdoodle being buried?"

Tori was amazed at how quickly her friend could change the subject. She could think of only a few things she'd rather do than go see a cat being buried (going to class was certainly not one of them). But she was sure homework was going to be assigned, whether there was five minutes or even two minutes left of science class. However, the pout on Cat's face was enough to melt her insides.

"Come on. We better hurry."

"Yay!"

Tori and Cat caught up to Sikowitz quickly. They found him standing outside near the lunch tables, sucking milk from another coconut, and swinging his head back and forth. There was no music playing. Mr. Sikowitz had put the black box on the other side of the table. After a few minutes, he turned the coconut upside down and shook it. When nothing came out, he frowned and tossed it in the air behind him. Tori and Cat had to quickly duck to avoid being the unlucky bowling pins.

Mr. Sikowitz sat on the edge of the table and tried to slide his way to the other side. The surface must not have been smooth enough, because he ended up toppling over onto the ground. He quickly stood up and braced himself.

"I'm all right, don't be alarmed", he said out loud, looking around. When no one responded, he grabbed the black box and strode over to a large area of dirt, where a hole had already been dug.

Cat peered over the side of the table to see where Sikowitz was and motioned to Tori to follow her as she started crawling.

"Cat he's all the way over there we don't have to crawl!" Tori whispered loudly in protest. Cat turned around and shushed her. Tori gasped in offense and crossed her arms.

"Come on!" called Cat from ahead. Tori growled, rolled her eyes and followed the crawling girl.

Mr. Sikowitz placed the black box into the hole, and gently kicked it. It rolled onto its side and Mr. Sikowitz shrieked in surprise as the top of the box fell off. Meanwhile, Cat and Tori situated themselves behind a large nearby bush. There was a small gap for them to look through.

"What on Earth is he doing?" whispered Tori.

Cat looked upset.

"He's hurting Mr. Snickerdoodle! Oh, wait … never mind."

Mr. Sikowitz prodded the box right side up with his foot. He turned his head to face the opposite direction as he bent down and quickly replaced the cover on the box.

"I don't get paid enough for this", he muttered. "I am a teacher, not an undertaker. A professional."

Cat watched in horror as Mr. Sikowitz started to stomp on the box, pushing it deeper and deeper into the hole. She started to stand up and was about to say something, but Tori grabbed her arm and pulled her back down.

"We're not supposed to be here, remember?" Tori hissed.

"Yeah, right", Cat answered, turning to face away from the bush and grabbing her own legs. She rocked back and forth. "I can't watch this."

"So what happened to Mr. Snickerdoodle anyway?" asked Tori, trying to take her friend's mind off of the unnecessary dead cat torture. "Was he old?"

"No", replied Cat, still rocking back and forth. "He was just a baby. He had his whole life ahead of him."

"So what happened?"

"I found him dead in the parking lot this morning, completely squished." Cat looked like she was about to burst into tears. "Some evil person must have run him over!"

"I'm sure it was an accident", Tori said reassuringly. She took Cat's hand in her own and squeezed it gently.

"But Tori, even if it was, the person who did it didn't say anything! They just completely ignored the fact that they killed a living breathing creature!"

"Well some people are very self absorbed and wouldn't care to notice that they hit an innocent animal. Kinda like something my sister would-"

Tori's mouth dropped open and she froze in place.

BAM!

"What was that?" Tori inquired, as her older sister Trina pulled the car into a spot in the school parking lot. "Did you hit a pothole?"

"In the parking lot? Come on little sister, even you're smarter than that." Trina unbuckled her seatbelt and got out of the car. "Make sure you lock your door –AAAHHHH!"

"What?" Tori quickly undid her own seatbelt and jumped out of the car.

"Nothing, nothing", Trina bounded towards her sister and pushed her backwards. "Come on, we're going to be late for class."

"Trina, you're out of breath", Tori remarked. "And sweaty. And –STOP IT- I can't walk backwards!"

"I'm fine. I just saw a bee, that's all", Trina stopped to inhale and exhale deeply. She ran her fingers through her hair, then lifted up her arms and ended in a pose with her arms out and a huge smile on her face. "How do I look?"

"Out of breath and sweaty", Tori answered sarcastically. Trina hmphed at her and strode off to the front entrance of school.

Tori shook her head and rolled her eyes at her sister, then followed her into school.

"Tori … my hand … you're squeezing it … too tight."