I was so surprised I was able to write this. I thought my motivation was gone... guess not... Thanks to whomever reads!

Disclaimer: I do not own Degrassi.

.

Chapter 11.

.

Moving On.

First week of school flew by quicker than I realized, and I found myself sitting on my bed finishing my homework on a Saturday night. School went better than I expected. I already have a good start on all my classes and Alli has been with me most of the time. KC also, which has been really great. I don't know if I could say the same for Eli and me. I mean we've been working on our first assignment but things have been slightly weird ever since our encounter in the hallway.

We would talk politely to each other and laugh every now and again when something funny came up but something was… off.

I thought he wanted things to go back to normal. I kind of did too, but I had a feeling we both didn't know how to do that. It's so frustrating! Why couldn't it be summer again? When I was just hanging out with him and no worries were in my mind(well except for the fact of falling for him). I guess we just needed to get rid of the elephant in the room but for some reason I didn't think that would happen until I mended things with Darcy.

The thought was unappealing to say the least, but if I was going to forgive Eli I had to do the same with Darcy. She was my sister and I hated to admit it, but I did miss how close we were. I miss when she brushed my hair and we would talk about her boy troubles. My stomach twisted at the thought of Darcy complaining to me about Eli. I don't think I was ready for that. Although, maybe I could be ready to talk to her for more than two minutes.

I closed my textbook and rose from my bed, before leaving my room and walking to Darcy's door. I took in a deep breath before knocking lowly but I didn't realize the door wasn't closed so it slipped open and I was gob smacked with Darcy and Peter sitting on her bedroom floor smiling at each other.

Their heads rose simultaneously at my intrusion.

"Oh- uh- I was…. Sorry!" I mumbled, my head down and turning around, closing the door behind me.

"Clare?" I heard Darcy say from behind the door but I was too frozen to respond.

I don't know why I was so embarrassed or freaked out; they weren't even doing anything wrong. Well that wasn't necessarily true. Darcy wasn't allowed to have boys in her room without mom and dad being home. And why was Peter here of all people? I only saw them together on the first day but are they friends? Darcy didn't usually have guy friends. She had boyfriends. I don't know I'm putting too much thought into it anyway, it's none of my business.

The door suddenly opened, and brought me out of my reverie. I spun around and Darcy looked at me with worried, and confused eyes. Her face was displaying different emotions each second.

"Is everything okay?" she asked.

My confidence to talk things out with her diminished, and how could I with Peter here? Now I was stuck and didn't know how to get out. All I could say was the first thing at the top of my head.

"Why is he here?" I demanded, but I still looked confused and flabbergasted. I could tell.

Darcy blushed, and her demeanour turned overtly embarrassed. "Oh, Peter? We were just working on school work."

My bitterness for her returned all of the sudden since I had the upper hand plus it was easier to still be mad than awkwardly ask for a truce. I gave her an arrogant look and crossed my arms.

"You know a boy isn't allowed to be in your room. Mom and dad aren't even home and the door is closed," I told her with a little more attitude than I should have.

She look affronted and her eyes kept shifting. "I know but Peter and I really needed to get our work done."

I cocked my head over her shoulder, with an eyebrow raised. "Doesn't seem like you're getting a lot of work done."

"We'll be done soon," she promised, as if I was mom. Then suddenly her face changed, and she looked at me with her eyes narrowed. "Why did you come to my room anyway?"

Now I was the one who was taken aback. My confident façade faded with each moment passing and my arms slouched and I couldn't meet her gaze. She didn't ask in a menacing way, rather curious and maybe hopeful? I didn't want to have this discussion right now because I lost my nerve and also having Peter here just made me more uncomfortable to talk about it.

"I… just wanted to asked if you… had an extra hair tie…. But I found my mine so never mind," I spewed, finishing the last line quickly because even I couldn't believe that lie. "I'm gonna get a drink and finish my homework."

She still looked confused but I made a beeline for downstairs before I was even more stuck in the awkward environment. I was able to breathe normally again, knowing I was alone and safe in the kitchen. I opened the fridge and took out the jug of water.

As soon as I took a nice sip, I heard footsteps coming down. I sighed heavily. Didn't Darcy not want to deal with our uncomfortable interactions either? I took another sip and turned around, ready to stand my ground but gulped my drink when I saw Peter standing across the counter table top that was set in the middle of the kitchen.

"Hey," he said, with a smile.

"Hi," I said more cautiously.

"Don't worry I'm not trying to bug you, I just wanted to get a snack." He held up his hands in defense.

"Okay." I eyed him suspiciously with my cup raised to my mouth, watching as he found some cookies.

He laughed when he looked at me. "Under surveillance I see. Doesn't surprise me."

"Why is that? It's not like you know me or anything." I narrowed my eyes, unknowingly testing him for reasons I'll never know.

"I know that your name is Clare," he said as if that solved everything. "And, you like writing!"

"Wow, I'm impressed. It's not like we have a class together, and that it may be about writing," I said sarcastically. I was surprised how different I was around him.

"I also know you haven't told emo boy you have the biggest crush on him," he said matter-of-factly.

The light mood suddenly dissolved, and any hint of smile that was on my face suddenly disappeared. I didn't want to go back to this. Let alone talk about it with this annoying person. I clutched my glass with my force than I intended and started to walk away.

"Wait," he called. "Wait, I'm sorry! I didn't think you'd be that upset over it."

I turned around, shooting him a glare. "You're annoying me. Why don't you just let it go?"

I feel like I've been repeating that phrase a million times since summer and I was getting sick of it.

He shrugged. "Maybe I wanna help."

I raised an eyebrow. "Why? You don't even know me. Listen I don't need your help because I don't like him. I don't care what you think, I know what's right in my mind!"

I was louder than I intended but I was beyond tolerating this anymore and having someone I didn't even know keep bringing it up when I had put those feelings for Eli to rest - more like trying to tell myself I did - it was getting exhausting for me. I almost felt like crying, but I wouldn't do that anymore.

"Yes, in your mind but not in mine," he smiled knowingly. "Don't worry I won't tell anyone, and if you don't want to do anything about it than I'll stop hounding you."

I felt slight relief and I didn't realize I was holding in a breath. I really needed to stop doing that…. Wait a minute? Rewind. I shook my head realizing that I hadn't brought up something vital that can finally shut this guy up and this time for good. I can't believe it even slipped my mind, I mean it was constantly on my mind all the time.

"Umm, there's no way Eli and I can ever be together anyways because he's already dating someone else," I blurted out.

He didn't look convinced. "Seriously? That must suck. Sorry to hear about that kid."

"Yeah, well finding out he's dating your sister isn't really the best the thing to hear but what are ya gonna do?" It was a rhetorical question so I hoped he wouldn't answer it.

He didn't. In fact he didn't say anything. I looked at him and his expression had completely changed. Gone was the amused expression and relaxed posture and replaced with empty eyes and stiff shoulders. He seemed to be out of it and it kind of freaked me out. I didn't know what to do. I thought of asking if he was okay but decided against it.

When he seemed out of his reverie, I nodded as a form of goodbye before climbing up the stairs. I didn't get why that was such news to him.

Whatever, it wasn't my concern.

.

.

"Oh my god."

"I can't even function right now."

"That's it?"

Alli and I both turned to KC, who was looking at the TV screen with a dumbfounded expression. We were both wiping away our tears and I knew I looked ridiculous but I didn't care. It was Sunday afternoon and I invited KC and Alli over to hang out. We decided to have a movie marathon and we just got through our first movie.

The Notebook.

"What do you mean, 'that's it'?!" Alli asked in exasperation. I almost laughed at the dark mascara smudges on her eyes. "That was so beautiful!"

"Did they die at the end?" he asked, still sounding very confused.

"Yes!"

He flinched. "Okay, okay! It was alright but now I want to watch something more… to my liking."

He stood up and rummaged through his backpack, and both Alli and I exchanged half-hearted glances. For some reason I felt really emotionally drained after this movie and all I wanted to do was sleep.

"I'll be back!" Alli jumped off the couch and ran upstairs. I knew she had to pee.

KC plopped back down beside me and I took the DVD case in my hands. "The Basketball Diaries. Leonardo DiCaprio, good choice."

"It's pretty sick and I think you might like it. Not so sure about Alli though," he laughed nervously.

I laughed along with him. KC has been sitting with Alli and I every lunch and we'd talk in the class we'd have together. He was a really fun guy but there was something missing. He doesn't really talk about himself. Well, he does but doesn't really go into detail. He talks about his interests and all that other stuff but he never once brought up his family or how things are at home for him.

I didn't want to pry but I just wanted to know if he was okay.

I did consider him as a friend. Even though someone kept hinting at any given chance they have that he was something more(coughAllicough). I didn't know KC that long and I didn't want to jump into anything without my heart fully healed and me knowing that this could work.

I wouldn't deny the fact that he was cute. His face was structured nice and I liked his brown eyes. He was pretty tall which I liked too. I didn't even know why. Suddenly I found myself staring and I couldn't help but trail down lower than his neck. I guess one can say he had a decent body…

Jeez what am I saying?!

I blinked and shook my head, turning my attention to the movie. From the corner of my eyes I could see KC staring and I swore I turned as red as a tomato. Alli, please hurry.

"So Clare how do you like the movie so far?" KC asked curiously.

"Good! Good!" I responded too quickly, my mind not even comprehending what was going on.

KC's laugh broke made me turn to him in alarm. "It hasn't even started yet."

I looked at the screen to see it was playing the main menu clips on repeat.

"Oh," I said lowly, slightly embarrassed. I rubbed my hands over my legs, suddenly feeling the tension in the room.

"Are you okay?" He sounded concerned.

"Yeah. Of course," I smiled, turning to him. "So how's everything going for you?"

"What do you mean exactly?"

I didn't mean to tred dangerous waters but I was all anxious and I wanted to get rid of the feeling. I just wanted to know more about KC, like maybe why he likes to skateboard so much or why does he always wear a hat on his head. I know those are trivial things but the small things usually make me interested.

His posture changed a bit, and stiffened up a bit. "Pretty good. Can't believe how much homework I got in the first week."

I kept my mouth shut about how he should have expected it because it was a higher learning environment but I didn't want to sound snotty. So I went along with him and nodded in agreement.

"My mom and dad were too. I don't think they got much back when they were in high school." I smiled, analyzing KC's response.

He gave a curt nod but it was more tense than mine was. "I don't know if my parents went to high school."

His face went white and his mouth clamped shut. I guess he shared something he wasn't supposed to because he looked really uncomfortable and I felt really bad all of the sudden. I had to think of something quick to change the subject.

"Do you think you can give me those skateboard lessons you brought up before? I'm really itching to get on the board." That sounded really weird but it worked because KC's posture relaxed.

"Really?" he asked in a soft voice.

I nodded. "Yeah. It should be fun, but I'm warning you now, major klutz over here."

"Well then we'll have a lot of work to do then," He put his hands behind his head and took on a lazy grin.

I hit his arm playfully. "Okay, fine but that means you have to learn to use the monkey bars."

"That doesn't seem too hard," he playfully scoffed.

"I assure you it is." I lifted my hands and wiggled them. "7 years of calloused fingers. But once you reach pro you'll feel accomplished."

We both laughed and suddenly Alli came in sight, and her oblivious expression turned devilish.

"Did I miss anything?" she directed at both of us.

"No," I shook my head.

KC shrugged and shook his head also. Alli gave me a look and I internally groaned to what was coming later. After that she settled down and we watched the movie. We watched four more movies before KC called it a day. He had a curfew anyways and he didn't want to break it. I understood and Alli and I waved goodbye as he skated down the driveway.

Alli didn't get to stay much longer either, since her parents wanted her home for a family get together. I was just narrowly able to avoid her remarks about KC. I expected a phone call later that night though. However, I didn't really mind because today was a good day. I had fun and I wanted everyday to be like this.

Everything from before - the bitterness and pain - I felt like it was finally leaving me, like I was able to deal with everyone and anything. And I was even able to not feel any pang when I heard Darcy talking sappy to Eli on the phone.

I was going to be okay. And I couldn't help but smile at the thought.