A/N: I know… kill me. I should stop making stories but uuuugh it's hard ^^' I promise this will be the last one for a while then I will just work on updating the others xD
Please comment if you like this or if I should just give it up ^^
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Tainted Love
Chapter 1: Of crystal tears and pandas
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Rin's P.O.V
It hurts so much day by day
To see you smile
See you laugh next to her
Wishing it was me instead
Yet I know its impossible
The thought of you and me
So that is why I cry myself to sleep
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It hurts so much day by day
When I have to smile so you won't see my pain
If you're happy so am I?
I wish it was true but I can't deny
That my your happiness is eating me inside.
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It hurts so much day by day
To see you go to her and walk away
Leaving me cold and void
Wishing I could just destroy
These feelings that are slowly drowning me.
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It hurts so much day by day
To know that I love you and you don't feel the same
But every day I smile and pretend to be brave
So you won't have to worry about me and stress
Though this may hurt me it's for the best.
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I sighed and put my pencil down, then closed the orange notebook I was writing in. I should stop writing these lame depressing songs... I just couldn't help it. I looked at the orange and yellow walls of my lonely room...our room. Len won't be home for another two hours.
Rin...
and Len...
That is how they knew us. If someone saw me they would be all like, "Who are you? Rin, who?" But if I told them about Len, they would immediately recognize me. "Ohhh, you are Rin and Len."
They said our names together as if they were one alone "RinandLen" the twins.
I am Rin. He is Len. We aren't one, though we may be close to it. And to top it off, I love him. I love my brother.
I know I shouldn't but I do... And it's killing me every time I see him with her... Hatsune Miku. She wasn't his girlfriend or anything, but might as well be.
He always went to her every opportunity he got and stared at her with googley eyes. Every time I saw him do that my stomach burned with jealousy. Why can't he see me that way? ...right, because I am his sister.
Why did I have to be born this way? Why with him? Though I never saw any pictures of us together before the age of five... Never. Only at the age of six was there any pictures of Len and I together... Hmm, I wonder why?
Well no matter, facts are facts. Len is my brother and there is no helping it.
H-he's better off with Miku anyway right? Right? Yeah and I have...have... Well I don't know.
Why do I have to love my brother? Why? I wish I could just rip my heart out and feel no more pain. Just disappear...
I felt the tears slowly fall from the corner of my eyes. Heh, I didn't even know I was about to cry. Nothing new there, I was always weak when it came to Len.
I heard footsteps going up the stairs and coming towards the door. Crap, was mom home already? I wiped the tears with the tips of my fingers and tried regaining my composure.
"Riiiin?" I heard a very familiar voice call.
"Come in" I said cheerfully, my mood brightening at the sound of his voice.
A blonde haired boy with vivid blue cerulean eyes entered the room. His hair was tied back in a ponytail with only some spikes left out up front. He grinned like an idiot and proceeded to trip over the carpet and fall like one too. Ahhh that is Len for you, my lovely idiotic brother.
He stood up and walked towards me. He frowned and took a seat next to me on the bed. "What's up Rin? Were you crying?" Len asked, concern flashing through his handsome features. I smiled inwardly, so he did care.
"N-nothing it's nothing I'm fine." I said and gave him a fake smile. I was all about faking emotions.
"Ehhh, okay... But if anything is bothering you or hurting you, don't hesitate to tell me." Len said firmly.
I nodded and smiled. It's you hurting me, I thought sadly. He hugged me and I cherished the moment until I reluctantly pulled away from his welcoming arms. He raised an eyebrow questioningly and I just avoided his gaze.
"I'll be coming late okay? I'm going to Kaito's house with Gakupo."Len said.
"Okay, I might go over to Teto's house as well... Just please come home before mid-night." I pleaded.
"You don't have to worry my angel," he said as he tenderly stroked my cheek, "I will be okay. If I find you asleep I may just crash in the guest room."
"No! I prefer to wake up when you get home so I know you are safe."
"Alright then," Len said as he bent over and planted a soft kiss on my forehead, "I'll be back as soon as possible."
He pulled back slowly, our blue eyes staring intently at each other, our noses just centimeters apart. It took all my willpower not to get him and press my lips against his... All of my willpower not to rape him then and there. Yea, I know I'm a horrible person.
His soft breath was burning my cheek. If he doesn't go away soon I don't know what I'll do. He pulled away completely, but did I sense reluctance? Nah, probably just me being paranoid.
"Yeah so see you later." Len said and quickly walked out of the room.
Had I been too foward with my actions? But I didn't even do anything! I just hope Miku isn't at Kaito's house too. I hate that witch with a burning passion!
But Len didn't... In fact, he seemed to think the complete opposite. Why can't he see how much pain it causes me when he is with her? Right... Because I am a wonderful actress. You know what? Sometimes I wished he could just see through my facade and then ask what was wrong. I wish he could see my real pain.
"Why..." I muttered as the forgotten tears resurfaced and created rivers down my cheeks.
"Stupid Rin..." I mumbled to myself as I hugged Mr. Panda, the only witness to my tears and sorrow. Crap, I'm soaking him...
Without knowing it, I cried myself to sleep. Heck, I didn't even know I was tired. Yet, I still fell asleep, forgetting homework and most importantly: Len. Sleep was the entrance to my own safe and happy little world. And that is where I went, only accompanied by cold walls and a panda plushie...
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A/N: yup that's it…. Review? Please?
-PerfectAngels98