11:29a.m.
To: André

Where are you? I have a free period right now and I need you like fucking NOW.

11:32 a.m.
To: Jade

I'm taking class, Jade. Jesus, you are like a tiger, but for sex.

11:33a.m.
To: André

Then skip it.

11:35a.m.
To: Jade

I am so glad you don t have any children. They would be so corrupt.

11:37a.m.
To: André

Give me children, come and have sex with me.

11:38a.m.
To: Jade

JADE, PLEASE.

11:40a.m.
To: André

I am wearing black bra and panties, like your eyes.

11:43a.m.
To: Jade

And you are giving me a massive case of blue balls, like YOUR eyes.

11:46a.m.
To André

Skip the class or I'll sweat, I'll do it with a brown sharpie.

11:48a.m.
To: Jade

YOU HAVE ISSUES

11:52A.M.
To: André

OH, SHARPIE. It's true, I can! I CAN express myself with you. Oh yes, yes, go brown sharpie go.

11:54 a.m.
To: Jade

…
on my way.

[…]

12:00 a.m.
To: Jade

I'm at the auditorium, where are you?

12:04 a.m.
To: André

Sorry, babe, I had to go, just got a call from Beck saying "Hexing Helena" was on DVD at the video store, so I'm checking it out. Sorry babe. But that's like my favorite movie ever.

12:07a.m.
To: Jade

How am I going to fix this, Jade? Tori saw me running into here and asked me what was wrong. You know what I told her? "Gotta go think, I need to think, oh, shit, where is my peanut butter?"

12:10a.m.
To: André

You like to smear nutella on me, not peanut butter.

12:13a.m
To: Jade

THAT IS NOT THE POINT. What am I suppose to do now? There's a situation of epic proportions in my pants. JADE, THIS ISN'T GOOD.

12:15a.m.
To: André

Use your hand, I hear you're pretty good with it.

12:17a.m.
To: Jade

Crisis averted.

12:18 a.m.
To: André

Why?

12:20a.m.
To: Jade

Beck just walked in dressed as Tori. I have nothing against transvestites, but seeing my male best friend dressed as my female best friend isn't something a guy wants to see while his girlfriend left him with blue balls and ditched him for a crappy horror movie.

12:24a.m.
To: André

I am going to kill you for insulting my favorite movie. But I guess that little beck/tori vision already did it for me, didn't it?

12:28a.m.
To: Jade

I'll see you later, okay, babe? I'm going with Cat to the Café.

12:32 a.m.
To: André

Whatever, bye.

12:34 a.m.
To: Jade

I love you.