obsessedwithstabler and SVUproductions here on our brand new joint account, bringing ya'll a brand new story! Now, as most everyone knows, Chris lost his freaking mind and left the show. This is basically what happens to El in our demented little universe. The title is borrowed from the Green Day song, Time Of Your Life (Good Riddance.) The summary was borrowed from the Nickleback song, Far Away. This is set sometime before the first episode, so that heartbreaking moment where Liv cries never happened. It's already finished, and will be updated every Wednesday, when the new episode premieres. Sit back, enjoy, and please review!

Disclaimer: Not ours!

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Olivia Benson never cared for September in New York.

Not quite summer, but not quite fall, the weather was often unpredictable. Jacket one day, and a tank top the next. But this September, it was different. She barely paid attention to the changing weather patterns outside. Instead, her mind was elsewhere, trapped somewhere in April and a happier time in her life. Sure, she was still single, but she had a great job, an enviable home, and friends she would do anything for. She had almost everything anyone could ask for.

But that was back in April, before a woman had been murdered and her daughter, who had watched, had stormed the precinct with a gun.

Olivia closed her eyes, and the scene replayed over and over again in her head, a horror movie that she was powerless to stop. Elliot had shot Jenna after the young girl shot Sister Peg, one action that would change the course of their lives forever. It was just a month after the shooting that Elliot suddenly retired, without even saying goodbye to Olivia. She had found out about it through their captain, and she had been devastated. She had refused to take another partner, and even now, almost four months later, she still grappled with Elliot's sudden disappearance.

There was a glass of wine in her hand, and she took a long drink from it as a peal of lightning briefly lit up her living room. During the week, she functioned, but just barely. And the weekends passed in an alcohol induced blur. She had never thought that losing a person from her life could have this kind of effect on her, but it had. And she couldn't seem to stop the downward spiral her life was in. God, she missed him. She missed the stability he brought to her life, the little smiles and the way he made her feel. She had been half in love with him since their first meeting, but she accepted early on that they would never happen.

But she still missed him.

She pressed her forehead against the glass and sighed.

Suddenly there was a knock on her door. At the intrusive noise, Olivia scowled. Who would be at her apartment after nine at night? A little unsteady, she made her way to the door, grumbling to herself. Pulling the door open, she prepared to give whoever was on the other side a sound tongue lashing. But before she could, her eyes widened, and the color drained from her face.

Elliot was silent for a second. "Good thing I got the right apartment. I was starting to think I was about to be mauled," he said softly, feeling guilty as he watched Olivia pale.

She stared at him, unable to speak or even breathe. After four long, miserable months of wishing and hoping and cursing his name, there he was.

He smiled sadly, knowing that she was angry and he deserved whatever she may say, if she decided not to slam the door in his face and leave him standing there. "You're mad, I know."

Swallowing hard, she finally found her voice. "Wh-What are you doing here...?" She was still struggling to believe he was even there.

Elliot ran his hand over his hair wearily. "Signing my divorce papers."

"No...why are you here, at my apartment?"

"Kathy sold the house and my apartment sort of frowned on me not having enough to pay my rent."

A flash of anger flared in her eyes. "So you came here? After disappearing from my life without so much as a fare thee well? No! You don't get to do this, Stabler!"

Elliot sighed. He had expected this, and he knew he needed to hear. it. He had walked out without even looking back, and he knew that he had hurt her. "I'm sorry," he finally whispered. "I know I hurt you."

"No, you don't know! You have no fucking idea what it's like to know the one person you cared about most in your life didn't think enough of you to pick up the goddamn phone and say goodbye! You don't know anything!"

"I didn't talk to anyone, Liv. Unless you count myself."

"I wasn't good enough," she muttered, her speech slightly slurred. The wine in her glass sloshed around. "Never been good enough...never will be..."

He took the moment to look over her shoulder. He could see a few empty wine bottles in her trash can near the sofa. He turned back to her and frowned. "Don't say that," he said firmly.

"But... I'm not." She turned around and went to the couch, dropping heavily onto the cushions. Then she emptied her glass and sighed.

She hadn't invited him in. But she hadn't told him to leave. So he took a deep breath and followed her inside. "Yes, you are," he argued.

She scoffed, looking around for another bottle.

"I really am sorry, Liv. You have to believe me," he insisted.

"No, I don't. You betrayed my trust, Elliot." And to trust someone so openly was almost impossible for her to do. But she had managed it with him.

And look what happened...

"I know I did. But I'm back now. I'm not leaving you again."

She desperately wanted to believe that, but she just couldn't. He had been the one person in her life that she had let entirely into her heart, who had seen a side of her that no one else had ever seen. He knew her better than anyone, even better than she knew herself sometimes. But he had also been the source of the worst pain she'd ever known, and she was conflicted.

"I promise," he whispered.

"I...I can't..."

Elliot bit her lip. "I shouldn't be asking you to forgive me," he mumbled. "I don't deserve it. I hurt you. So yell at me. Kick me out. Do whatever you need to do."

She looked up at him, and the pain in her dark brown eyes made him cringe. Setting her glass aside, she got to her feet. "I can't do this. Go...go to a hotel. Do whatever. I'm going to sleep."

"Okay." He stood up. "Just... call me. I promise I'll actually get off my ass to answer."

"Get out!"

Without another word, Elliot turned around and left in silence, the only sound being the gentle thud of the door slipping shut behind him.

Outside, the rain was falling in torrents, washing the city clean again. Elliot was unlocking his car when a familiar voice called his name. "Elliot!"

He stopped and turned around. "Yeah?"

With a soft sob, Olivia closed the distance between them and flung her arms around his neck. The embrace reminded her of Sonya Paxton's death, when they had embraced like this in the hospital. But this was different.

He was taken aback, but it only took him a moment to regain his composure and wrap his arms around her. He rested his cheek against hers, holding her tightly.

She trembled in his arms and held him tighter. "Don't leave again," she whispered, her voice barely audible over the falling rain.

"I won't," he murmured, his hand tangling in her chestnut hair. "I won't."

"I need you, Elliot." She always had, and she suspected that she always would.

"I'm not going anywhere," he promised her. "Not again."

She buried her face in his shoulder, not moving until the rumble of thunder reminded her of where they were. Reluctantly, she pulled away from him and looked up into his eyes. "We should go back inside."

"Okay," he said softly, following her back to the apartment.

She led him back into the apartment building and upstairs. Once they were back in her apartment, she quickly removed her shoes, shivering.

Elliot took his jacket off and draped it over the corner of a nearby chair. He was so thankful that she had decided to let him back in. Not just her apartment, but her life. He didn't know how he could handle it if she never spoke to him again.

She went down the hall, returning a minute later with a couple of towels. She handed one to him, then began drying herself off with the other.

Elliot ran the towel over his soaked face and took off his damp overshirt.

Olivia dropped down onto the couch and sighed. The rain had sobered her up a little, and her head started to pound. She was still angry that he had walked out of her life without a word, but now that he was back, she couldn't let him go.

He folded his towel and sat down beside her, staring into space for several seconds. "What's it like at work now?"

"I don't want to talk about work."

"Okay then." He looked at her. She was facing away from him. "What do you want to talk about? I think we already covered the weather." He gestured to her still slightly wet hair.

She was quiet for a while. "Why did you leave me like that, Elliot?" She had dealt with abandonment before. It was nothing new. But being abandoned by him…

"Because I'm an idiot," he said guiltily. "An idiot who doesn't know how to handle emotions without hurting people."

"I've been...so lost without you."

He closed his eyes. "I'm sorry," he said for what felt like the one hundredth time. And he meant it.

Finally she turned her head and looked at him. "I wouldn't let Cragen assign me a new partner."

"I bet he's pissed about that."

"I didn't care. You're my partner."

That brought a small smile to his lips. "Yep."

She sighed and tugged at her damp clothes. "It's late. I'm going to get some sleep."

"Okay. Good night."

Getting to her feet, she went to the closet in the hall and retrieved a clean blanket and sheets. Then she carried them back to the couch. "Stay, if you want."

He stripped down to his tee shirt and boxers and took them from her. "Thanks."

Unable to help staring at him, she blushed lightly. "Good night, Elliot."

"Night."

She looked him over once more, then disappeared into her bedroom.

Elliot set up the sofa bed and crawled in between the sheets, resting his head on the pillow. He stared up at the ceiling.

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Deep in the night, a soft cry came from Olivia's room. She thrashed in her bed, her limbs tangled in sheets that were damp with sweat.

Elliot hadn't quite fallen asleep yet, and he was immediately awake at the sound. He hurried into her bedroom. "Liv?"

She groaned quietly, her brow furrowed. "Elliot..."

"I'm here." He gently smoothed her hair back.

Suddenly her eyes shot open, and she sat up in the bed. Her heart was racing, and she looked deeply upset. When her eyes fell on Elliot, she looked confused. "El?" Her voice was raspy and sleep-laden.

He nodded. "Yeah. You alright?"

"I think so..." She shivered.

He reached out and pulled the blanket back over her. "What was it?"

"I don't want to talk about it..."

"You don't have to."

Still unsettled, she hesitantly motioned for him to sit on the bed beside her.

Elliot obeyed, sitting where she indicated.

Almost immediately she was more relaxed, and she watched him intently. The past four months had taken a toll on him, but he was still as handsome as he ever was.

"You want me to stay?"

She thought about that for a moment. "Please..."

He laid down beside her, slipping under the blanket.

They had never touched like this before, and suddenly she could barely catch her breath. Almost hesitantly, she found her hand with his.

He intertwined his fingers with her slim ones, gently stroking her knuckles.

She stared into the darkness, her heart racing. "Kathy really left you again?"

"Yeah."

"Why?"

"Eli isn't mine."

She lifted her head and stared at him. "What?"

"I'm not his father."

Stunned, she laid her head back down on the pillow. Eli wasn't his child. Kathy's pregnancy had been the only reason behind their entire reconciliation. She felt a sudden surge of anger toward the woman who had repeatedly broken her best friend's heart.

"I didn't see it coming," he said as he yawned. "I'm sorry." Her hand gripped his tightly.

He shrugged. "Why? You didn't do anything.""But she hurt you. And I hate it." Hesitating, she moved her body closer to his. "Elliot, you're my best friend. There is no one in this world who means more to me than you."

"I hate it, too. All this time I thought I was his father... just to find out when his real dad came up to the door demanding joint custody."

With a soft, disapproving sound, she squeezed his hand tightly.

Elliot closed his eyes again. "I just need to sign the papers... and that's it."

She rolled onto her side, toward Elliot. "Try to get some sleep, El."

"You too. Good night. Again."

She smiled and rolled onto her back again, settling into the pillows. But sleep was hours away.

To Be Continued...

A/N: Yay, EO angst! And trust us, there is tons more angst to come. Thanks for reading, and please review!