ForGem6:)

1 – SpiderintheCracks

"How's Rosie?"

Dimitri seemed to be asking that a lot. Whenever he talked to Erin, it seemed to be the first question asked – probably because it was the easiest.

"She's okay. Thanks."

They were up on the roof again, shivering in the bitter breeze. A strand of Erin's fringe fell down across her face as cascading waves of chocolaty hair rippled in the air. She flicked it away.

"That's good."

"Yeah."

Dimitri always had so much to say, in theory, but once he actually got there he couldn't remember anything. All he saw was her eyes; their stunning warmth, and the way they twinkled in the weak sunlight.

"And how are you?"

She didn't reply straight away this time – she just gave a half-hearted shrug. He nodded patiently as she took a deep breath. "I guess Harry's told you about my resignation, then."

"He...yeah."

Silence again.

"I'm sorry, Dee. I wanted to tell you, before...well, before my name was the one echoing around the walls of Thames House," she smiled feebly, and his heart leapt against his ribs, "I know I haven't been here long, and I know what everyone's saying about me, but I can't do it any more. Rosie...Rosie always has to come first. If I can't have both, I have to have my family."

"No one's saying anything. They understand."

Another smile, but a slightly sad smile this time, "Not everyone is as understanding as you are."

Dimitri shrugged. Erin turned to gaze out over London, over the Houses of Parliament, and the London Eye, and everything that made her home. She didn't know what she wanted, in truth. She didn't know if she was leaving because she wantedto be with her daughter, or because she had to be with her. Did it really matter any more?

"It'll be okay."

She didn't look at him, "Yeah."

He sighed. He had to say something now, or he'd never find another chance. You never knew when things would be over forever – you had to leap before they disappeared. "When are you leaving?"

"I told Harry I'd work my notice – he can't really afford to lose anyone whilst we're in the middle of the deal, especially after...after Tariq," she whispered the last words, as if scared of waking the dead, "Probably the end of the week."

"With Ruth gone as well..." Dimitri paused, wrinkling his nose, "They're going to have to steal someone from six. I might kill Calum if we don't have someone else quickly."

"Oh, he's alright, really. Just an acquired taste."

They both laughed. The sound was hollow, ringing out over the city. Erin faced him again; he watched a solitary droplet trickle down her cheek, before she swiped it away. She licked her lips nervously.

He reached out and touched her shoulder, "Erin..."

"I'm okay," she shook him off, trying to convince herself.

His hand hovered in mid air, "Really?"

She shrugged. Reached inside her pocket and pulled out a purse. Unclasped it, with trembling fingers, and held it out to her colleague. Her and Rosie, curled up in pyjamas, laughing. They looked happy; they looked totally blissful. He hadn't seen that at all.

"I have to do this, Dimitri. I can't risk losing the only person in the world I love unconditionally. The only person in the world who truly loves me back."

"You also said she was the only one you'd ever lied to... And that wasn't true..."

She stared at him again, "Look, I know you're only trying to help, and I'm grateful, but you're not making it any easier."

His hand dropped down to his side again now, as she flushed guiltily. She focused on the floor, watching a spider dart from crack to crack. It wasn't good at disguise – any predator would've caught it easily. Wasn't she like that? With a small daughter, she was destructible. Her life could be ruined in a couple of easy steps. And they would know that – she'd always be targeted.

"No. I know. I'm sorry," Dimitri blushed too, embarrassed. She was far too good for him anyway – had always been far too good for him. "I've got work to do anyway, I'll see you later."

"No, Dimitri," it was her turn to touch him, to grab his arm. He turned back, and their eyes locked again. Hers were tearful and pleading, his regretful and cautious. She always did this – always upset the only people who at least seemed like they cared.

"Don't cry."

"Sorry," she wiped her cheeks with the back of her hand weakly.

He paused, then reached up and ran a thumb under her eyes, smearing away the last of the dampness. Her skin was warm and soft. "You'll be okay. You'll both be okay. And Rosie...she'll be so proud of you, when she's older. She already is."

"She was rather taken with you, actually," Erin sniffed.

He laughed half-heartedly, "Knight in shining armour. Who wouldn't be?"

"I'm taking her swimming, on Sunday. I don't know...well, it's hardly very conventional, or very...if you'd like to come, you'd be very welcome."

"Are yougood swimmers?"

Erin smirked, "Rosie's brilliant. I...I prefer to take a poolside seat and cheer appropriately. And you?"

"I think I'm a little out of practice."

"We normally go for coffee afterwards. And juice, and cake. If you want to come, the offer's there."

They both smiled again, more genuinely this time, eyeing each other with a certain kind of interest. A certain kind of warmth.

"I'll be sure to consider it."

XxXxX