Melting Ice, Rising Sun

Author's Note: So… I realize that there are a LOT of dedicated Edward fans out there (which I entirely respect), and I know that a lot of my Bella/Edward interactions are somewhat OOC, but this is simply just to get the plot steered more toward the Bella/Jacob interactions. For all the Jacob fans, I've tried to keep his and Bella's personalities as accurate as possible. Enjoy and please critique! xoxo

**I do not own Twilight or Jacob Black (though I wish I did _ ). **

Chapter 1: Doubts

"I still don't understand why you're being so ridiculous about this!" I fumed as Edward and I hiked toward the meadow. I was supposed to be lightly touching trees and rocks as we walked so that the newborns would pick up on my trail, but I had gotten distracted. "Changing me into a vampire is NOT going to rob me of my soul!"

I quickly glanced over to gauge his reaction. He said nothing at first, preferring to clench his jaw and control his temper than say something he would regret later. Though I knew he didn't need to perform the human behavior, he exhaled slowly anyway and shifted his golden gaze to meet mine. "Bella, we have discussed this several times. I really do not want to risk it. How you are now, alive, warm and breathing, is exactly how I want you to stay."

"But I'm going to get so old!" I wailed as I slammed my hand against the nearest tree. "How can you possibly still want me when I turn into a withered old woman?" I shuddered remembering my nightmare from the previous year.

He smiled gently at me. "You will always be my Bella, wrinkles and all. I will love you and stay by your side until you choose to send me away." I returned his smile with a troubled grimace. "Of course, there is the one condition where I did agree to change you and to do so myself," he said slyly.

I stayed silent and unwillingly thought back to the previous night where Edward said he would change me himself if I married him first. I said yes at the time because I was so desperate to become an immortal and because I couldn't bear to crush the intense waves of joy and affection that were rolling off of him when he proposed. However, in the clear light of day, I wasn't so sure about my decision. I knew that he really did not want me to become a vampire like him and that he threw in the marriage requirement to scare me away from that option. I feared marriage even more than I feared being in a room full of hungry, malicious vampires.

I was in the midst of a painful internal struggle. The only thing I knew for certain was that Edward was my entire existence. He was the very air that I breathed and I desperately wanted to make him happy. If he got his true wish and left me as a human, I would go on aging while he remained perfect, flawless, and forever frozen at seventeen. No outside eyes would approve of our seemingly twisted relationship and I couldn't see myself being happy with the arrangement either. I could already feel revulsion welling up inside me just from thinking about being a lecherous old grandma with a boyfriend who put Adonis to shame.

We continued along through the forest, Edward eyeing me worriedly as I absentmindedly pressed my hand against some of the trees and ferns around me. My mind kept hovering over the few options that I knew that I had. One was to let Edward have his way. I would refuse marriage and remain human with my guardian angel by my side until my death. Two was to go against his wishes and ask one of the Cullens who was more sympathetic to my cause, like Alice or Carlisle, to change me. Three was… well… unthinkable, but it stayed in my mind nonetheless. Marriage. I shuddered.

I knew he would feel betrayed if I chose option two, but it was certainly the more appealing option. I wouldn't have to get married and I would get to stay with Edward forever as a much-less-breakable Bella.

I slowly resurfaced from the pool of my thoughts and noticed that Edward was speaking to me. "What are you thinking about, love?" he asked quietly. I knew how much he disliked not being able to hear my thoughts. I was a freak after all—the only exception to the rule.

"Eternity," I replied.

He sighed and put his arm around me. "It is a very long time. That is why I couldn't live with myself if I condemned you to an eternity of darkness."

I couldn't help but notice the tortured, pained look on his face. However, his words irritated me. "Melodramatic much?" I muttered.

The anger flashed back into his eyes as he replied, "It is not melodramatic of me to want to keep your soul as pure and intact as I can. I've done enough evil in this existence to destroy whatever piece of a soul I might have, but I will not add to that evil by destroying your soul as well."

"And we're back at square one again," I observed dryly.

"I suppose so."

Edward's arm fell away from my shoulder and we continued walking silently at a quicker pace. I continued brushing my fingertips across the nearby foliage, slightly dubious that my scent would cling to the wet ferns. Edward had assured me it would work though, so I kept on marking.

The silence became even heavier after several minutes and I found myself dragged into my mind's three-way battle with itself: wrinkles, betrayal, or…marriage. If I were a selfless, saint-like creature, I would choose the first option. If I chose my own selfish desires over Edward's wishes, I would choose the second option. If I wanted to go against everything I believed in just to appease Edward, I would choose the last.

As I weighed these options, I decided that doors number one and three would be almost unbearable and that door number two was the only one I could really live with. I sucked in a deep breath and prepared to explain myself. "Edward?"

"Yes, Bella?" he answered without looking at me.

"I've had time to clearly think about all the options placed before me, and I think I have made up my mind," I managed to quickly blurt out.

This time he did glance my way yet he said nothing. I tried to summon my courage as I began to speak. "I know for certain, that I do not want to remain a human for you. I would fall apart as more time went on because you would stay beautiful forever while I withered away."

He kept silent as I continued. "I also know that I can't marry you. It's just not what I want right now. It may be an option later on in my existence, but definitely not now."

If he was feeling any hurt from my words, I didn't see it cross his beautiful face. He kept a stony, reserved look as he took in my confession.

"So, I've decided…" I continued, "I've decided that I'm going to ask Carlisle or Alice to change me. I want to be with you forever as an immortal, but I don't want to rush into marriage."

I was hoping that my decision would spur him into changing me himself anyway with no marriage requirement, but he startled me with his reply.

"You would betray me, Isabella?" he asked coldly. "You would do all of this just so that you don't have to marry me?"

"It's not that I don't ever want to get married! I just don't want to feel pressured into doing it now!" I defended myself.

"If you did this, if you betrayed me, Bella, you might become an immortal, but you would see or hear nothing from me again."

The resolve in his voice scared me as I looked into his furious, hurt-filled golden eyes.

"You wouldn't love me anymore if I were… like you?" I asked weakly.

I saw him retreat silently into his thoughts. "No. I would not. You would not be my same Bella," he said with that same far-off gaze. "And there would be no guarantee that you would ever marry me if you went running to Alice or Carlisle."

I couldn't disagree with him. I didn't know how my heart might feel after I changed. Maybe my negative view of marriage would only be amplified once I became a vampire. This is one of those times where I really wish you could hear my thoughts I thought desperately.

I kept walking and pushed through some thin branches to reveal the familiar meadow. There were no wildflowers this time of year, but the waist-high grass swayed lazily with the breeze. Jacob and the wolves were already there pacing around anxiously. Once Jacob spotted me, he sauntered over and greeted me with a simple, "Hey."

"Hey, yourself," I replied glumly.

"Well then, did I interrupt something important?" he asked dryly as he observed the expressions on our faces.

"Actually you did, Jacob," Edward cut in smoothly. "If you could excuse us for a moment, we need to continue our discussion."

Oh no. Now I've done it.

Jacob must have noticed my horrified expression because he quickly asked, "Bella? That's ok right? Is that what you want?"

I merely nodded and he patted my shoulder gently before glaring at Edward and going to rejoin the wolves. Edward took my hand and led me back into the trees.

I am so lost right now. What do I do?

"It seems that we have reached an impasse," Edward said once we'd left the meadow.

"It certainly seems that way," I answered quietly, doing my best to avoid his piercing stare.

He gently lifted my chin so that our eyes would meet. "I think we need some time apart to clear our heads and think about our options."

"Is now really the best time for that?" I blurted out. "I mean, the newborns are almost here and we have to think about the safety of your family and the pack."

"You're right. Now is not the best time. I am in no way breaking up with you. It was just a suggestion that we can discuss later," he reassured me.

"That sounds…fair," I replied hesitantly.

He smiled distractedly at me and then lost himself in thought again. "As to the more pressing matter that you have mentioned," he mused, "I know that we both wanted to stay together during the fight, but something that Carlisle was thinking earlier caught my attention."

"What was that?" I asked, genuinely curious. I twirled a strand of my hair around my index finger slowly while I waited for him to respond.

"By now, Victoria has to have realized that I would not go anywhere without you. If I go with you up to the mountain, Jacob carrying you will hide your scent, but I won't be able to hide mine. She will just track me down as a way to get to you."

I gulped in fear as I imagined the furious, flame-haired vampire finally getting her powerful hands on me. "So what does this mean then?" I asked him.

"Even though leaving you will hurt us both, it is the only way I know of to ensure your safety. It will annoy me to no end to leave you with that….mutt Jacob Black, but he is the only way I can see that you will be safe. With me fighting in the clearing and you safe miles away, you will be utterly invisible to her," he said confidently.

I didn't like the idea of Edward being in danger. He was much too self-sacrificing for his own good and I didn't want him to be a martyr for me. I finally put my arms around him and breathed in his intoxicating scent. "I don't like this idea."

He added his arms to our embrace and gently kissed my forehead before answering, "I know, I know, love. But it is the only way. While we're apart, take your time to think about everything you told me and we will talk more about it when I safely return to you."

He was good—much too good for me, anyway. I leaned up slowly to kiss his cool, marble lips and for once, I was not the one to lose all control. One of his hands firmly but gently gripped my back while the other on the back of my head pushed my lips tighter to his. He kissed me with such passion and intensity that it began to frighten me.

I've felt this kiss before. It was the same kiss I received the day before Edward broke up with me. He's scared. He doesn't know what you will decide my mind tried to soothe me. I was too frightened to put much more enthusiasm into our embrace, but I felt my heart pounding in my chest just as normal. He loosened his grip on me and gently pressed his lips to mine once more before he stepped away from me. As we made our way back into the clearing, I felt an uncomfortable sense of foreboding welling up inside me.

Jacob didn't rush to meet us when we reentered. Instead, we waded through the tall grass over to where he and the pack were waiting. Jacob was the only member who had not phased yet—he was waiting to carry me up to the safe haven on the mountain.

"Jacob," Edward nodded to him.

"Bloodsucker," Jacob spit back.

Edward ignored this insult. "It seems our plan has…changed a bit."

Jacob's brows furrowed in sincere confusion. "How so?" he asked.

"I and some of my family members have noted that Victoria will be expecting Bella and me to stay together during this encounter. Therefore, if I join her on the mountain, Victoria will be able to easily track my scent to get to Bella. She will only be safe if I stay with my family and the pack to fight while you protect her on the mountain. With you protecting her, she will be invisible to Victoria," he said calmly.

"Victoria? The red-headed bloodsucker? It's hard for me to keep the names straight," he asked, genuinely puzzled.

"That's correct," Edward said impatiently.

"Well then, let's get going," Jacob eagerly said.

"Don't get too hasty, Jacob Black," Edward suddenly snarled. "You are to take care of Bella as though your own life depends on it, and if she is returned to me in less than perfect condition, you will answer to me."

"Relax there, bloodsucker," he retorted. "No one's going to harm a hair on Bell's head with me protecting her." He put his arm around my shoulders and pulled me closer to him. I could see Edward's eyes narrow as he assessed Jacob's action, but he decided to let it go for the time being.

"You better head on," Edward said quietly. "Alice just said that the newborns will be here first thing in the morning. You'll have plenty of time to get settled in and Alice saw snow on the mountain tonight so that should help conceal your scent even more." Edward reached for my hand which I gently placed in his. "I love you, Bella," he whispered.

I could feel tears welling up as I met his gaze, "I love You, Edward." I heard Jacob make an immature retching sound behind me at our exchange of affection, but I wouldn't let him ruin this moment for me. I reached up to press my lips against his once more and then I turned to go with Jacob. I could feel Edward's gaze on me and I turned to glance in his direction as Jacob lifted me up in his arms and ran towards the mountain.

Goodbye I cried to myself. I watched him gradually shrink as Jacob ran until he was no more than a speck far-off in the distance.