Rubbing Salt In The Wounds (A Suits oneshot)

Rated: M

Pairing: Harvey/Mike

Summary: Mike is forced to come clean about a lie he's been telling for years, bringing back some repressed memories he would have rather not have to relive. Harvey is there to comfort him, and possibly save him.

One-shot. Posted 20 October 2011

A/N: I feel obligated to include a warning for this story. This isn't rated M due to explicit sex, unlike a few of my other stories. I just feel like the subject itself is something that young or sensitive people probably shouldn't read. I don't want to ruin the story by telling you exactly what it's for, but it could be something that makes people extremely uncomfortable, and it's not a subject that should be dealt with lightly. Just remember that this is work of fiction, okay? Oh, and my stories haven't been getting a lot of reviews lately. Not even flames! So I don't know what's wrong, but I'd really really love some feedback, please :D

Harvey was not happy. In fact, he was the opposite of happy. He'd expected Mike to be in his office an hour he'd had a stress-free morning and was feeling fairly generous that day, he decided not to go and snap at the kid the second he was late. He'd simply instructed Donna to send him in if she happened to see him.

But an hour? That was more than enough time to finish tying up loose ends. So he was on his way to find him.

He was just about to get to his cubicle, too, when he saw Mike sitting there, staring blankly at something in his hands. This infuriated him even more. Why wasn't he working?

As he came within a few steps of Mike's desk, he scowled as he noticed the expression on the boy's face. He was completely pale and rigid as he stared, unblinking, at a piece of paper he was clenching tightly with both his hands.

Harvey stood in front of Mike for almost a full minute, completely unnoticed by him. Until he reached down between Mike's face and the piece of paper and snapped his fingers loudly.

This caused Mike to blink, finally, and look up at Harvey. "Shit," was the first thing he said softly as he folded the paper up and stuck it at the side of his desk. He rummaged through the pile of similar looking papers until he found the file he was looking for. "Here." he picked it up and shoved it toward Harvey, not looking directly at him.

"How long have these been done?"

"About two hours?" Mike said, biting his lip.

"Two..." Harvey was dumbstruck. If the kid had finished them an hour before his deadline, why hadn't he brought them to him. "What have you been doing since then?"

A nondescript associate that Harvey didn't really know but knew that he didn't like him answered, "He's been staring at that fucking piece of paper all afternoon." All the other associates looked over at them, staring like the gossip whores they were.

"Is that so?" Harvey asked, eyeing Mike and the other associates suspiciously. "So why didn't anyone snap him out of it? Hm?"

The rest of the associates looked away, murmuring under their breath about nothing in particular so as not to draw any more attention to themselves.

"I'm sorry." Mike said suddenly. "I didn't mean to get sidetracked, I just..."

Harvey started walking away as he called back, "My office, now."

Mike groaned and stood, grabbing the paper he'd been holding before and stuffing it into his pocket so no one else could get ahold of it. He followed Harvey to his office, closing the door behind him although the glass walls would allow any and all passersby to see what was going on even if they couldn't hear it.

"Let's just get this over with." Mike said, still unable to meet Harvey's eyes.

"Get what over with?" Harvey asked.

"I'm fired, right? You're firing me because I zoned out for two hours and didn't get any work done. Believe me, I don't blame you, I totally deserve it. I-"

"Mike." Harvey interrupted rather unemotionally.

"I mean I really understand. You gave me a chance and I keep fucking up, so-"

"Mike." Harvey said a little louder, trying to bring him out of his trance-like rant.

"So I'm not going to be upset or anything because I know it's my fault and-"

"Mike!" This time his voice projected loudly enough to make Mike pause and take a breath, finally sliding his eyes up to make contact with Harvey's. "I'm not firing you."

Mike looked relieved and worried at the same time. "You're not?"

"No. Not yet, anyway."

"You might as well just do it now. You know it's coming anyway."

"I do, do I?" Harvey asked, sitting in his chair behind his desk.

"Yeah, it's pretty obvious that I'm not cut out to work for you. So just say the word and I'll go clean out my desk and I promise you'll never have to see me again." Mike began inching toward the door, looking desperate to get out of the room.

"Sit down, Mike." Harvey nodded toward the chair across from him.

"Really?" Mike asked, sitting down. "You're going to draw this out and make me leave here without a shred of dignity left."

"I want to give you a chance to explain."

"Okay, well... wait. You want to hear my explanation?"

"Did you go deaf in the past ten seconds?" Harvey asked.

"Oh, I get it." Mike said, nodding. "You want to hear it so you can tell me how something like that shouldn't affect my work and yadda, yadda, yadda you're still going to fire me. Can you please just be decent this one time and let me leave without feeling like I've just been beaten up from the inside out?"

Harvey watched him for a minute. He saw him begin to fidget, eyes darting from left to right, sweat beading on his forehead. He looked seriously freaked out and Harvey didn't like it one bit. "Are you high?"

"No, sir." Mike said. Then he squished his eyes shut and rubbed his temples. "Shit. I really gotta go, Harvey."

"You're not going anywhere until you tell me what the hell is wrong with you."

"It's none of your business." Mike snapped. "Especially since I'm no longer your employee."

"I told you, you're not fired. Just tell me what's going on."

"You don't get it." Mike stood, face turning red from anger, and a little bit of embarrassment if Harvey was reading him correctly. "You may not have fired me yet, but you are going to fire me, so what's the point in listening to my lame excuse if you already know-"

"I am not firing you!" Harvey stood and pounded on his desk. "What has you so paranoid and self-conscious today? You said you're not high, and I'm trying to take your word for it but if you don't tell me what's wrong I have no choice but to send you for a drug test."

"I'm not high. I'll piss in a cup right now if you want just to prove that I am not high. And whether you believe me or not, I haven't been high since the last time you knew I was. I wouldn't fuck this up over something stupid like that."

"But you'll happily accept being fired for being lazy for two hours." Harvey clarified.

Mike half-nodded. "...Yes."

"What was on that paper, Mike?" Harvey cut to the chase.

"What?"

"The paper. What'd it say?"

"What paper?" Mike said, playing dumb.

"The one that practically hypnotized you."

"Oh. That paper." He unconsciously tapped his pocket where said paper was stashed. "It was nothing."

"Nothing." Harvey said, obviously not believing him.

"Yep. Nothing."

"You were scared shitless by a blank piece of paper?"

"Yes, sir." Mike looked away and balled his hands into tight fists. "Dammit!"

"You've called me 'sir' twice now." Harvey squinted at him.

"Sorry. Old... habit." Mike said through clenched teeth.

"Donna," Harvey said, looking at her through the glass. She gave an almost unnoticeable nod, indicating she was listening, as she always was. "Stop listening." She turned around, giving him an incredulous yet curious look. "I'm serious. Stop listening. I'll come out and tell you when you can."

She gave a little shrug that clearly said, 'okay, but you owe me an explanation,' and turned back around to her computer. She didn't press any buttons, but somehow both men knew she couldn't hear them anymore.

"Harvey..." Mike said pleadingly. He just wanted to leave. Why did his boss insist on keeping him here for a second longer if he was just planning on firing him anyway?

"Tell me what was on the paper."

Mike paled again. "No."

"Is it about your grandmother?" Harvey asked.

"No."

Harvey's face darkened as he asked, "Trevor?"

Mike shook his head. "No."

Harvey took a breath and held it for a second before letting it out quickly through his nose. "Then what?"

"I'm not going to tell you. It's no one's business but mine. Can I go now?"

"No, you may not. Not until you tell me what was on the paper."

"No." Mike said simply. "I'd tell you anything you wanted, Harvey, if it meant saving my job. But this..."

"I can't help you if you don't tell me what's wrong."

"Help me? Why would you want to help me?"

Harvey leaned forward, folding his hands together on the top of his desk. "Because I want to know who is brave enough to scare my associate that badly. And I want to find them and make them sorry the idea ever entered their head."

"Careful, Harvey." Mike warned with malice in his voice. "You might give the impression that you care."

"I'm at the point where I really don't care what you think. I just want to make sure you can work to your full potential."

"I can't do that if I don't have a job, though."

"Which is why I want to know what's on the paper, so you can keep this job."

"You're going to fire me if I don't tell you what's on the paper?"

"Yes."

"Well, goodbye then." Mike walked over to the door, and was about to tug it open when something grabbed his inner elbow and pulled him back. He thought he was going to fall backwards onto the floor, but instead he felt his back press into a soft but firm pillar-like body. He realized it was a person, and the only person in the room was Harvey. Mike sighed. Was fate really so stuck on torturing him?

"Not so fast." Harvey said, holding him there. "You seem way too eager to let me fire you. So I'm not going to fire you. You want out, you're going to have to quit."

"Duh!" Mike could have slapped himself. "I can just quit! I do quit! Now goodbye." He struggled to get out of Harvey's grasp, but one of Harvey's arm was stronger than Mike's entire body, so he wasn't going anywhere.

Harvey spoke lowly into Mike's ear. "If you won't tell me, I'll just have to look for myself." He stuck his free hand into Mike's pocket, retrieving the paper before Mike could stop him.

"No!" Mike tried to steal the paper away from him, but he stretched his arm, bringing the paper just out of Mike's reach as Harvey held him tightly by his other side.

Using his fingers, Harvey unfolded the paper and began reading it, with Mike kicking and swinging at him all the while. He began to read, and couldn't decide which was higher; his anger at the sender or his pity for his associate.

"What is this?" Harvey asked when he reached the bottom of the letter.

"Give it back!" Mike yelled and lunged his entire body toward the paper, finally breaking free from Harvey's solid hold. Though he had to admit it was probably more due to Harvey's loosened grip at his reaction to the paper rather than he own strength. He snatched the paper from Harvey's hand and folded it back up, staring at it for a minute before stowing it away in his pocket once more. "Can I go now?"

"Who sent that to you?" Harvey asked, his voice laced with fury.

"It says who sent it." Mike said, his voice barely audible as he stared at the floor. "Please, Harvey, don't make me stay here."

"This letter is signed by your father." Harvey said, pursing his lips.

"I know."

"You told me your parents were dead." Harvey was glaring heavily at him now.

Mike stood perfectly still. Then, in a small, timid voice, he said, "I lied."

"Why would you lie about something like that?"

"I'm leaving." Mike said. "I don't care what you tell them. Say I quit or you fired me or pretend like you don't know what happened to me. Eventually they'll notice I haven't come back. I just can't stay here."

"Follow me." Harvey said, walking out of his office. He stopped by Donna's desk, speaking to her in a low voice so no one else could hear. Mike was generally good at reading lips, but they were facing away from him so he couldn't see what they were saying. Then he turned back to look into his office and saw Mike still standing there, looking lost. And scared. "Mike, come on." But Mike wouldn't move. "Michael, just a minute ago you were itching to get out of here."

"I can't go outside." Mike said as he realized.

"What do you mean you can't go outside?"

"What if he's here? What if he sees me?" Mike looked up into Harvey's eyes. His eyes were wide and teary, giving him the look of an innocent child who'd been knocked down by a bully.

"It's dark out, Mike." Harvey said softly, touching Mike's shoulder lightly to guide him out of the office. "No one's going to see you. Come on. Let's go back to my place and discuss this letter."

"There's nothing to discuss, Harvey."

"Wrong." Harvey said, letting something that seemed slightly soothing into his voice. "There's a lot we need to discuss."

"I don't know..."

"Trust me." Harvey said. "Nothing is going to hurt you on my watch, kid."

Mike took a deep breath. He didn't like the idea of being exposed. But he also didn't like the idea of staying here. At least Harvey's place was somewhere no one would think to look for him. "Okay."

Harvey's lips momentarily quivered into a microscopic smile as he led Mike out of the building. He'd asked Donna to take care of things while he was out. "Ray's waiting for us outside." he said to Mike, sensing his anxiety about being outside. And he didn't blame him, really. He hated to admit it, but he was pretty worried himself after reading that letter.

When they got outside, Harvey walked swiftly to the car, pulling Mike along beside him, and opened the door for him. He helped Mike inside before climbing in himself.

"How did he find me?" Mike whispered to himself.

"Mike." Harvey said, sliding a hand onto Mike's shoulder. "Don't worry. I'm not going to let anyone hurt you."

Mike looked over at him. He certainly had intense eyes for someone who didn't care. And he was definitely being protective. Or maybe... possessive? Either way, the look on Harvey's face was one he'd seen only a few times before; when he was going out of his way to protect Mike. And it was far more fierce this time than it had been any other. And that gave Mike a sense of calmness that he really needed right now. So what else could he do but trust him? "Thanks."

They reached Harvey's home in a matter of minutes. Harvey thanked Ray and sent him off, grabbing Mike gently, but firmly, by the wrist and pulling him inside. Mike didn't mind. It was comforting, in fact, and Mike savored the kindly contact while he had it.

Once they were inside, and without letting go of Mike's wrist, Harvey locked the door and led him to the living room. He sat down on the couch, hoping Mike would get the message and do the same.

He did. He faced Harvey and sat close enough that their knees touched slightly. And Harvey finally let go of Mike's wrist, fearing it might be making him uncomfortable.

Mike frowned at the lack of contact, looking down at the floor with glassy eyes.

Harvey wanted Mike to look at him. Not so that he could assert his dominance, but so that Mike could see that he could be trusted and that he really did want to help. So he cautiously reached out a hand and cupped Mike's cheek, turning his head slowly until he was facing him. Mike didn't put up a fight, but his eyes still lingered on the floor. "Why did you lie?"

"It was easier." Mike said, eyes shifting to make passing contact with Harvey's.

Harvey repositioned his face so that he was once again looking into Mike's eyes. And he was dead set on not letting him look away this time, so he gazed into him like he was physically holding him there. Mike didn't look away, but he found that he was also being held captive by Mike's pitiful stare. "Easier than what?"

"Telling the truth." Mike admitted. "My parents aren't dead. Not really. But... I've always told everyone they were. Even Trevor didn't know the truth." Mike gave a solemn chuckle.

"Why would you make the world believe you're parents are dead?"

"Because it was easier for me to tell myself they'd died in that crash." Mike said.

"Tell me what happened, Mike." Harvey said softly. He removed his hand from Mike's face, but didn't break eye contact. "You can tell me. Nothing bad is going to happen."

"I was four." Mike whispered. "The first time it happened, I was only four, Harvey."

"What, Mike? What happened?"

"They... they hit me. I didn't... I didn't know what I'd done wrong. I was only four! So I cried and I promised I'd be good. I promised, but... but they wouldn't stop and they were both coming at me and..." Mike's words were cut off as he was pulled into a hug. He was startled at first, the sudden touch forcing him to flash back to the night he was describing. But he relaxed once he realized that it was just Harvey, and that the arms around him felt safe and comforting rather than threatening. "For years it never stopped, Harvey." he choked out, clinging to Harvey's suit as if it were his one and only savior. "I never knew what I did but... I knew when it was going to happen. They'd both get this... this horrible look in their eye and I knew. I knew what was coming. At first I would try to run... but that only made it worse. So I just had to stand there and take it. I don't know what I did wrong, Harvey."

"Why didn't you tell anyone?" Harvey asked as Mike held onto him for dear life. He ran his fingers through Mike's hair, trying to calm him down.

"Who was I supposed to tell? I was just a kid. I thought..."

"You thought you deserved it." Harvey knew. Being a lawyer, he'd seen his fair share of abused kids."

"Of course I did." Mike confirmed. "They were my parents. And I was a bad kid. I didn't know any better. Even though I'd read books where things similar happened and somewhere inside me I knew it was wrong... I just couldn't believe that my parents would purposely hurt me."

"I know, Mike." Harvey began gently rocking him back and forth.

"And then one day... someone came to the house." Mike explained in a shaky voice. "I didn't know it then, but it was a social worker. Someone at school had reported that my bruises looked 'suspicious' and so they were coming to talk to my family about it." Mike squeezed his eyes shut and buried his face in Harvey's chest, taking comfort in the faint heartbeat he could both hear and feel behind the skin. The soothing warmth emanating from Harvey's body and the soft smell of cologne wafting by his nose only served to relax him further. "I didn't say anything bad to the woman. I swear I didn't. By this point I knew I needed to tell someone but I... I couldn't tell her. She was going to leave and then... then my parents would have been angry at me for telling and... I just couldn't risk it..."

"Calm down, Mike." Harvey said when he realized that Mike had been crying. He felt the wetness on his skin as it seeped through his suit. He felt a fleeting wave of irritation pass through him but then he remembered. This was Mike. Those were Mike's tears ruining his suit. And that made all the difference in the world. "It's okay. No one can hurt you here." He felt Mike nod against him and sniff.

"So I told her I was happy and that my parents were great. I could see she didn't believe me, but there was nothing she could do about it. And so she left."

"And?" Harvey asked, though he he had a bad feeling that he wouldn't like what came next.

"My parents told me we were going for a car ride." Mike said quietly. "I knew something was up, because they were smiling and being really nice. And they were never like that. Even when they weren't... beating me... they just kind of ignored me. But what choice did I have? I was a helpless little kid. I got in the car and..."

Harvey hugged Mike tighter and told him, "You don't have to say any more. You can stop now."

"No." Mike said, trying his hardest to even his voice out. "I have to finish. I've never told anyone. Only a few people know, and that's because they were involved. I need to tell someone... please, Harvey..."

"Okay." Harvey rubbed his back. "Okay, kid. Tell me anything you want."

"I got in the car. My father was driving. Really fast. Way too fast. And I was terrified. And then we collided with another truck. I had no idea what was happening but before I knew it, I was upside down, dangling from my seat thanks to the seat belt. My father and mother were severely injured; the front of the car was completely smashed, so they had to be cut out and taken to the ER. I only had minor injuries... but they made me go to the hospital too. And the doctors and nurses noticed all my scars and bruises. Practically four years of being beaten with no medical treatment? They could tell right away. And I was in the hospital, so I felt safe, so I told them everything."

Harvey felt Mike relax a bit more and he realized that the worst of the story was over. "And what happened then?"

"It was all over." Mike sighed. "I was taken from my parents immediately and sent to live with a foster family for about a week until my Grandmother officially adopted me. I only saw them once after that, when I visited them in jail. I haven't seen them since. And it didn't make the news, the hospital did everything they could to keep the whole thing as hushed as possible. And it worked too. Since I lived with my grandmother, everyone assumed my parents had died. And I just let them believe it. And then somewhere along the line I started saying they'd died in the crash that day. And it was great. It felt great. To say it. And believe it, sometimes."

"I'm so sorry, Mike."

"What do you have to be sorry for?" Mike asked. "It's not your fault any of that happened to me."

"No, it isn't." Harvey agreed. "But I've spent these past few months wanting to protect you from Louis and shady clients and even shadier opponents. And hearing about this just... makes me extremely angry."

"Sorry." Mike squeaked.

"I'm not angry at you." Harvey corrected.

"For once."

"Being disappointed in your choices is not the same thing as being angry with you. All things considered, I'm... quite proud of you, actually."

Mike pulled away from Harvey's chest just far enough so he could look up into his eyes. "You're... proud of me?"

Harvey smirked. "Yes."

"Harvey... I..." Mike leaned in again, this time bringing his face closer to Harvey's. "I, um..."

"Mike," Harvey whispered, still searching the other's eyes. They seemed so lost and confused. "The letter." he reminded him. "Why did he send you that letter?"

Mike retreated back to his previous position with his head against Harvey's chest. They weren't holding each other as tightly anymore, but they were closer, as Mike's body was practically completely against him. "His sentence is up. My mother has so many sentences she'll be in jail for the next hundred years. But him... he's been waiting. He's been good so he could get out and..."

"He's not going to hurt you, Mike. Not while you're with me."

"But I'm not always with you, Harvey!" Mike cried. "He knows where I work. And it shouldn't take him long to find out where I live. I'm all alone there, Harvey, and the door is like cardboard, he'd have no trouble getting inside and..."

Harvey shook his head. "You're staying here tonight."

"H-here?" Mike stuttered.

"Yes. Here." Harvey insisted. "You stay here with me, and I promise no harm will come to you."

"But... this is your house."

"And you're my associate. I take care of things that are mine."

Mike's lips twitched into a sad smile. "Why Harvey, I do believe you just said you care about me."

"No, I said I'd takecare of you. There's a difference."

"I don't care. It's not what you said, it's what you meant. You do care about me. And I know it. I just don't know why you're so quick to deny it all the time. I can't deny that I care about you too... I wouldn't deny it..."

"I have good reasons for denying it." Harvey said breathily.

"So you'll deny it, but you won't deny denying it?" Mike asked, pointing to the air as he tried to figure out how to word it. "Doesn't that mean you admit to it?"

"It doesn't mean anything, Mike."

"There you go, denying it again." Mike teased.

"Are you feeling better?" Harvey asked, attempting to change the subject.

Mike let him. "I am. Thanks."

"Good." Harvey said. He was usually good with words, letting them glide smoothly from his mind to his tongue so he could deliver them in a way that would charm the pants off anyone. But now he was at a loss for words as he gazed into Mike's eyes.

Mike bit his lip. "Maybe I should go home." he said, suddenly feeling uncomfortable in Harvey's arms as if he'd only just realized they were holding him.

"Why would you go home?"

"You're my boss, Harvey, not my therapist. I did need to tell someone, so thank you for that, but I can't stay here. I'll just be in the way."

"You're not going anywhere." Harvey said, strengthening his hold on Mike. "That bastard is out there. And he's after you. You're not going home."

"Okay." Mike said, almost hypnotized by Harvey's words. In all his time as a child, when he would be expecting two, sometimes three beatings a day, no one was willing to help him. He only had one friend to turn to. Trevor. And the boy never let him stay at his house when Mike needed to get away. Of course Trevor didn't know, or hadn't been told at least, what Mike's parents were doing to him, but whenever Mike would go to him crying and in need of comfort, he always turned him away.

Harvey could see that feeling of aloneness in Mike's eyes. He hated that look, having seen it occasionally in the mirror. And he knew the feelings that went along with that look, and if there was one person he didn't want to feel like that, it was Mike. "Why don't you get some sleep. I have a guest bedroom down the..."

"I always knew you cared about me. Deny it all you want, but I know better, Harvey. Even if it's only because I usually do pretty good work, you care on some tiny level and nothing you will ever say can make me think otherwise."

"Really?"

"Yeah."

"What if I told you it's not on a tiny level at all?"

"Okay, maybe it's a miniscule, infinitesimal level, but..."

Harvey shook his head and whispered, "Come on, Mike, you said you know better. You have to see that I care about you more than a little."

"Am I dreaming?" Mike asked dramatically. "You'd never admit that outside of my unconscious."

"You... dream about me?"

"Don't worry, I dream about everything and everyone. Photographic memory, you know? Sometimes my memories leak into my dreams."

Harvey was about to say something when he realized just what kind of memories Mike had. "You can see it all. You still see it happening..."

Mike gave a shaky sigh. "Now you're getting it."

"Do you have nightmares?"

"Sometimes. Not lately, although now... the letter..."

"Why is he after you? What could he possibly want after all this time...?"

"You read the letter." Mike answered. "He wants to punish me for escaping while he had to go to jail. He... he wants..."

"He's not going to get you." Harvey said sternly, showing a hint of anger that Mike knew wasn't directed at him. "I swear on my life, Mike, I won't let him hurt you."

"What am I going to do, Harvey?" Mike asked breathily. "I can't stay here forever. I eventually have to go back to my house and back to work and... what if you're not there to protect me?"

"Hey, listen to me. I'm going to keep you safe. He won't try anything at work, not if he doesn't want to go back to jail. There are hundreds of people who would see him if he did anything to you there."

"But what about when I'm not at work?"

Harvey could feel Mike's body shivering. What could he do for this kid? "Stay with me."

"What?" Mike's eyes were wide but withdrawn, as if he expected Harvey to retract his offer.

"I said stay with me. Just until it's over..."

"It's not that simple. You don't know how what lengths he'll go to to get to me. He'll wait years just to get his revenge. It's only going to be over when one of us dies."

"Mike." Harvey chastised, hating how the boy spoke about his own death so casually.

"What? When I was little... I pretty much accepted the fact that I was going to die soon. I never dreamed I'd make it to middle school, much less adulthood. Dying... isn't the part that bothers me. At least being dead would relieve me of this constant fear."

"If you're not afraid of dying, what are you afraid of?" Harvey whispered. He understood Mike's logic, but that didn't mean he accepted it.

"...I'd rather not say."

"Really? We're going to do this again? Just tell me. You know you're going to anyway. And I have to know everything in order to keep you safe."

"You won't like it."

"Doesn't matter," Harvey told him. "I'm not asking you as your boss. I'm asking you as someone who cares and wants to do whatever he can to save you."

Mike took a deep breath. "I've never been afraid of dying. Don't get me wrong, I don't want to die, but if it happens, I won't be too upset about it. It's always been like that. There was just one thing... I always hoped that... you know... I'd at least live long enough to meet someone..."

Harvey raised an eyebrow. "Someone?"

"Yeah... someone."

"What kind of someone?"

"The kind that loves me. And that I... would, um... that I would love too."

Harvey stared at him. That was not what he was expecting to hear. He was expecting something more along the lines of seeing a great monument or meeting a celebrity or accomplishing an impossible goal. But all he wanted was for someone to openly love him. "That's..."

"I know, it sounds stupid..."

"It does not."

Mike gave a small smile through the tears streaming down his face. "Thanks. But that's not what I've been worried about lately."

"Then what?"

"Well... I never thought I'd ever find anyone that I could actually see myself with. But... I did. And it feels really good, even though they don't feel the same. It's just nice to know that I was able to experience this feeling before... well... just, before. I've had relationships, but not... I never had this feeling before. So now all I think about is... never getting the chance to be with them. I don't want to die without... ever getting to kiss him or touch him or..."

"Wait." Harvey held up a hand. "Him?"

"Oh, shit." Mike clenched his mouth shut and clamped a hand over it. He rubbed his face, mumbling, "I didn't mean to say that..."

"So it's not a man...?"

Mike sighed. "No... it is... I just didn't want you to know..."

"I don't have anything against gay people, Mike."

"I'm not gay. I just... he..."

"He's different," Harvey guessed. "He looks at you like you're an actual person, instead of just a random face he's just going to forget as soon as he looks away. He's honest with you rather than just telling you what you want to hear. And even though he seems like he's totally not your type, he holds all your attention."

"What..." Mike stopped when he felt a warm hand on his cheek again, and a thumb gently stroking it.

"And now you're wondering how I knew all that. But be honest, Mike. The way you look at me... did you really think I couldn't tell?"

"I didn't think so much as hope... Oh, God, you probably hate me now..."

"I don't hate you. And I know what you're going to say next, but I'm not disgusted by you either."

"You're not?"

Harvey shook his head. "No. I'm not."

"Well... that's good, I guess..."

"It doesn't mean I feel the same," Harvey explained bluntly. "I'm not trying to make you feel bad, but it's better to be straightforward with you than risk having some kind of miscommunication. I don't want you to think..."

"No, believe me, I know."

Harvey nodded. "Good."

"Can I ask you something, though?"

"Sure, kid."

Mike thought for a moment, deciding how to word his question. But ultimately he decided, "No, never mind. It's probably better if I don't."

"You can't do that, it's only going to worry me more."

"Nah." Mike shrugged. "It doesn't matter."

"Yes, it does."

"No."

"Is it something that's going to help you?"

"...Possibly," Mike admitted quietly.

"Then ask me."

"Well... I was wondering... you know... I mean... uh..." The poor guy looked like a deer in the headlights, sputtering and tripping over his words like a nervous

"Spit it out."

Mike shook his head. "I don't want to. You're just going to say 'no,' and then I'll be embarrassed and I'll have to live with it for... well I really don't know how long I have left but..."

"Mike, you are not going to die."

"Then it doesn't matter. It was a dying wish, so if I'm not dying..." Mike's thought was cut off as a pair of lips connected faintly with his. His eyes popped wide open as he realized they were Harvey's, Harvey was kissing him. And then it was over. Mike stared at him, looking even more scared than he was before. "Why... why did you do that?"

"That's what you wanted, isn't it?"

"...Yeah, but... you don't..."

"I know. But if it calmed you down, I was willing to try it. Once."

"Thanks." Mike showed a little smile.

Harvey was about to say something when there was a low, rapid knock at the door. "Who could that be?" He wondered aloud as he stood up. He walked over to the door just as a piece of paper was slipped underneath. Harvey bent to pick it up and read it, exhaling angrily as he forcefully tugged the door open and peered down the hallway as if he was looking for a fight. Who could write such a thing?

"Harvey?" Mike stood and went over to him, yanking the paper out of his hands before he had a chance to stop him. He read the paper. "Oh, no... he's here... Harvey, he knows I'm here!" Mike broke down, shivering and shaking as he kept reading and rereading the paper.

Hey there, Michael. You can probably guess who sent you this lovely note. You can't hide from me forever, boy. I've been watching you. I always knew you were a queer. Your boss won't always be able to protect you. And the second he lets you out of his sight, I'll get you.

"Mike, calm down..." Harvey tried to steady him.

"Calm down? How can I calm down? He knows where I am... he saw us... the whole time, he's been watching, listening! How long has he been watching me?"

"Mike..."

"Harvey, he knows you're protecting me... what if he tries to hurt you? What if he goes after you to get to me? I... I..."

"Mike..."

"I won't let that happen. I'd fight him myself before I let him hurt you."

Harvey chuckled. "As much as I appreciate that, I don't think you'd last very long in any kind of fight. You're so thin, you're like paper. You'd just blow away with the wind."

"Hah. Hah. I'm serious. What are you going to do? He knows where you live! He knows you wanted to hide me here and... and he... he..."

"Mike. He is not going to hurt me. Or you. I won't let him. Trust me?"

"I... you don't know what he's capable of! I mean... he managed to slip past security to get to your door! He..." Again, Mike was interrupted by a brush of lips upon his. Only this time it was less fleeting, less awkward than the first. It was soft, and lasted far longer than Harvey had intended. Then there were hands on his neck as Harvey's lips disappeared. Their foreheads touched and their eyes locked, each begging for answers to their own questions. "I thought you said you'd only try that once..." Mike whispered, because for some reason he couldn't get his voice to work.

"This seemed to be extreme enough to warrant doing it again."

"Uh huh..." Mike squinted like he didn't quite believe him.

Harvey smirked. "Look, I think you need to get some sleep. There's nothing to be afraid of. I won't go to sleep until I'm sure you're safe, okay? Just... you need rest."

"I don't need rest."

"Yeah, you really do. Your eyes are half-lidded and you have bags under them. You're tired, Mike. Please. Just go get some sleep. I have a guest bedroom right next to mine. There's a bathroom across the hall. You can... shower and then go to bed."

"Harvey... I can't... I don't..."

"What is it? What's wrong?"

Mike looked down and whispered, "I don't want to be alone."

"I'll stay with you," Harvey said without missing a beat. "I'll wait outside the bathroom while you get ready. And I'll stay with you while you sleep. I won't leave you alone. Not for a second."

"Why are you doing so much to protect me?"

"You know why. I care about you. You're my responsibility because I choose to be responsible for you. I know I let you take a lot of shit, but... this is... your life is at stake. I can't not protect you."

"What would you say if... I told you I think it's really sexy when you look at me like that?"

Harvey's smirk returned with a hint of uneasiness. "I'd say it's only to be expected, no one can resist my charm."

"And you... you promise you won't leave me alone? Because I..."

"Shush, Mike. I promise. You go to the bathroom, I'll be right outside the whole time."

"Thanks."

Harvey escorted Mike down the hall to the bathroom, telling him he could use whatever was in there and he could put on some of Harvey's clothes to sleep in.

Mike stood in the shower, feeling the burning water stream across his skin. He felt so dirty. It had felt so good to kiss Harvey. But he knew the man had only done it to shut him up. He was probably standing out there, figuring out the best way to disinfect his mouth.

When he finished he turned the water off and stepped out of the shower and wrapped a towel around his waist. Sure enough, when he walked out of the bathroom, there was Harvey, leaning against the wall. Harvey led him into his bedroom and handed him some clothes, turning around so as to give Mike some privacy as he dressed.

"Okay, I'm dressed," Mike said quietly, making his way to the door.

"The guest room is just over there."

They walked to the next room over and Harvey watched as Mike pulled the covers back on the guest bed and climbed in. He laid back, looking desperately tired as he fought to keep his eyes open and locked on Harvey. "You promise you won't leave?"

Harvey sat in the large chair beside the bed and nodded. "I promise."

Mike gave a sleepy smile as his eyes fluttered closed. "I love you, Harvey," he mumbled quietly.

Harvey's jaw dropped slightly as the words reached his ears. He knew Mike had some kind of feelings for him, what with how he was constantly checking him out and obviously flirting, no matter how hard he was trying not to. But love? He had no idea that was involved.

And yet... he did.

But he didn't know how to respond. "I..."

"You don't have to say anything," Mike said groggily. "I know you don't return my feelings. I just wanted you to know. I just..." His sentence tapered off as he drifted to sleep, letting out some tiny snores.

Harvey watched him. He promised he wouldn't take his eyes off the kid, but he really didn't have to worry about breaking it. For some reason he couldn't look away. There was just something so captivating about the slow rise and fall of his chest, the sleepy grumbles that escaped his lips, and the way his nose wrinkled occasionally as he took a deep breath.

But when Mike began to toss and turn, and his breathing became ragged and sweat started to bead on his forehead. He'd heard something about not waking people when they were having a nightmare. Or was that sleepwalking? Either way, he couldn't let Mike endure this any further. He stood and reached over to him, shaking him gently.

"Mike. Wake up. Michael..."

"H-Harvey..." Mike said, scared and confused.

"Mike, you're okay. Everything is fine. It's just a dream."

"Harvey," Mike repeated, pulling him down onto the bed and clinging to him. "I'm sorry, I just... it was..."

Harvey stared at him, getting him to be quiet without uttering a word. He situated himself next to Mike on the bed, hugging him back just as tightly. "It's okay. Just go back to sleep. I'm right here."

"Thank you." Mike snuggled against Harvey's chest, too tired to worry about what Harvey might say. But he wasn't being pushed away, so he just decided to appreciate this moment and let himself fall back asleep in Harvey's arms.

As Harvey continued to watch him sleep, he couldn't help but feel... something. And his mind kept forcing him to relive the kisses. The first really was just to give him something to make him feel better. But the second... was more out of compassion than pity. He did want to stop Mike talking and get him to calm down, but...

Harvey's mind started to become fuzzy as he contemplated all he'd done for Mike so far that night. And he realized that he, too, was also feeling tired. And before he could stop himself, he succumbed to sleep after pulling Mike just a little closer.

He was awakened by a dull light shining into the room through the large windows. And he was startled due to the painfully obvious lack of a warm body next to him. He quickly sat up and looked around, wondering where Mike had gone. He felt a pounding in his chest, his body full of fear and worry for the boy.

When he heard a soft whimper come from behind him, his head whipped around and he was overcome with rage. Mike was sitting in a chair, his arms and legs bound so he was unable to move. His mouth was covered by a wide piece of duct tape and his eyes were glassy and wet as his whole body shook with panic.

Harvey jumped out of the bed but was stopped in his place as he saw a figure stand from behind Mike, pointing a loaded handgun at Mike's temple. He growled, recognizing the fear in Mike's eyes and connecting it to this man. "How did you get in here!"

"Well, well." the man said smoothly. "You must be Harvey. I've seen you around, of course, but meeting you up close is something entirely different."

"Get. Out. Of my. House." Harvey was breathing heavily, like an angry bull ready to charge the matador.

The man grinned wildly, showing off his yellow, crooked teeth. "Gladly. Once I do what I came here to do."

"If you hurt him..."

"Uck." the man yacked. "Protecting the poor little slut, are you?"

Harvey's eyelids lowered, sending the man a glare reserved only for the worst criminal scum he's ever had to deal with. "How dare you call him that! Your own son..."

"Oh, but he is a slut, Mr. Specter. You wouldn't know about that, he's tried his hardest to hide it from everyone, especially you. But I've been watching him. You should see the men he goes home with, tall and cold-looking, hair slicked back and wearing suits practically made out of money. I believe one of them even had a mole above his left eyebrow, didn't he, little Mikey?"

Harvey looked down to Mike, who's face was now soaked with tears as he stared at the floor. "Mike..."

Mike's father pressed the tip of the gun harder against his head, making Harvey quiet himself. "People in the area think he's a gold digging little whore, but we know better, don't we? We all know he was just looking for a substitute for you. Imagine that; he finally falls in love with someone, someone who he knows will never love him back. It's beautiful, isn't it? The pain in his eyes. Knowing that the fear behind it isn't even for himself."

"Why are you here?" Harvey asked darkly. "Why are you torturing him?"

"It wasn't my plan, you see. My poor son was all alone for so long, that torturing him wouldn't really be possible. I had contacts on the outside, keeping an eye on him for me. I just wanted to make him feel a little pain before I killed him. And then I find out about you, and I came up with this wonderful new plan. I get to kill him right in front of you, make him feel the pain of knowing you're going to watch as I blow his brains out."

Mike winced at hearing this. Why couldn't he just kill him and be done with it? Why did he have to drag it out?

"I'll call the police."

"So? He'll be dead before they get here. You think I care what happens to me after I kill him? I've waited, so patiently, for years to finally have this. I'm not going to let a worthless threat deny me my one wish. So, Mr. Specter, anything you'd like to say to Mikey before he goes?"

Harvey looked down at Mike, who's eyes met his. All he wanted to say was how sorry he was. For not noticing how much he needed him. For not always being there. And for falling asleep when he should have been protecting him like he promised. He opened his mouth, but somehow forgot how to make any sounds come out, much less actual words.

"No?" Mike's father asked. "Pity. I'm sure he would have liked to hear your voice one last time. Oh, well. What about you, boy? Got any last words?" He clawed at the duct tape across Mike's face, ripping it off violently.

Mike curled his lips inwards, preventing himself from saying what he so desperately wanted to. But Harvey could see it, he could read it in Mike's eyes. I'm sorry you had to see this.

"Silence won't save you," his father told him. "But if you insist on keeping your mouth shut, allow me to skip ahead to the grand finale." His finger tightened as he was about to pull the trigger.

And Harvey snapped. He lunged at the man, knocking him away from Mike and struggling to keep the gun aimed anywhere but at the blond associate. "I won't let you hurt him." They tumbled around on the floor for what seemed like a century. And Mike watched, flicking his eyes between the gun and Harvey.

His heart skipped a beat when the gun went off and there was a loud thud as the scuffle ended. Mike's whole body went cold as he watched the two still bodies on the floor, a thick liquid trickling out from beneath them.

When one of the bodies stood, Mike shrunk back into the chair, expecting this to be the end of him. Until the figure came closer and crouched down in front of him, cradling his face in a strong hand. "Mike," a gruff but soft voice asked, "are you okay?"

"Harvey?" Mike didn't understand what was going on. "You... you're..."

"Mike, answer me." Harvey's voice was pleading. "Are you hurt?"

"No... I didn't... I'm fine. But you... are you okay? Did he... the gun went off..." Mike trailed off as he looked to the crumpled heap on the floor.

Harvey followed his eyes and took in the sight. "It was an accident," he explained to Mike. "He broke into my home with a weapon, the gun went off as I was trying to defend myself. Nothing is going to happen to me. Or you. You're safe. I told you I'd protect you."

"You killed him..."

"It was an accident."

Mike looked up at him with big, adoring eyes. "You saved me."

Harvey's lips spread into a small smile. "I promised I wouldn't let him hurt you."

"Harvey..."

"I'm going to untie you, okay?" Harvey waited for Mike's nod before he began untying his legs and arms. He grabbed his hands and helped him stand up.

But Mike's legs were less sturdy than jelly, forcing him to fall against Harvey. "Sorry... I..."

"Don't apologize. It's fine..."

"I can't believe he's dead. I never wanted anyone to die, but... God, Harvey, it feels so good to finally know I'm free. I've been living in fear for so long and..."

Harvey used this opportunity to attempt to calm Mike once again. He placed his lips on his, moving them against him as he stopped talking. Before long, their mouths opened, allowing their tongues to meet for the first time. He kissed Mike cautiously, not wanting to scare him away. It didn't make much sense to him, how it could feel so good to taste Mike like this. He pulled away, not because he wanted to stop, but because he wanted to see Mike's reaction.

Mike was staring at the floor again, refusing to meet Harvey's eyes. "That's the third time you've kissed me..."

"I know."

"Okay." Mike nodded like he understood. Which he did. He understood that, again, Harvey was only attempting to get him quiet.

"I should call the police and tell them what happened."

"Yeah."

"Come on, go wait in my room. I don't want you to stay in here."

Mike followed him silently and sat patiently on the side of Harvey's large bed. The cops showed up a few minutes later, scouring the scene and taking statements.

By the time everything was cleaned up, it was mid-afternoon. Harvey had called Donna to clear his entire day, explaining to her what he was able to over the phone.

When the authorities left, Harvey went into his room where Mike was waiting for him. He sat next to him, waiting a moment before saying anything. "How are you holding up?"

"I'm fine."

"You know... the police... they recommended some counseling..."

"I don't need to see a therapist. My dad is gone. And I'm fine."

"You don't look fine."

Mike almost chuckled. "I was supposed to go on a date tonight."

Harvey furrowed his brow. "Oh?"

"Yeah. Not just spending the night at some guy's house. A real date. With a guy I met at this shoppe... it's this really expensive place I go to sometimes... looking for... people. He looked just like all the others... except he had on a three-piece suit and when he started talking to me, I just..."

"Were you going to sleep with him?"

"I hoped so." Mike answered, despite how personal the question was.

"Why?"

"The same reason as all the others," Mike whispered, "he reminded me of you."

"I don't want you doing that anymore."

"Why?" Mike asked, sounding hurt. "It's not like it's hurting you."

"Well, I suppose if you'd rather have them..."

"What?"

"Mike... last night... and this morning especially, I've never been so scared in my life. I was so afraid of you being hurt... and when I kissed you..."

"I know." Mike interrupted. "It was just to get me to calm down. Don't worry, I got it."

"No, Mike. Maybe the first time was, but even then I did it because I wanted to. I wanted to kiss you... and I didn't even realize it until after I already had."

"You... wanted..."

"Yeah. And I'd like to again, if you'll let me."

Mike's mouth went dry. He couldn't believe what Harvey was saying. "I don't think that's such a good idea. This is probably just a pity thing, Harvey. In a few days, heck, maybe in just a few minutes you'll realize you were only taking pity on me."

"I'm not. I swear I'm not. It's horrible that it took something like this to make me see how... how I feel about you but if I learned one thing tonight it's that I don't ever want to lose you."

"Really?"

"Really. And... I'm not waiting until something like this happens again to tell you. You told me you love me, Mike. And I... I liked hearing that."

"You did? I honestly thought you would have yelled at me when I said it."

"Look, I know that you've been on an emotional roller coaster since yesterday, but..."

This time it was Mike who interrupted him, practically knocking him down as he pushed against him, kissing him hurriedly as he attempted to get his fill of him. "Regardless of what I've been through, I know that I love you. If you're serious about this... I mean, I..."

"I'm quite serious. I've never been so... drawn to someone. Attracted, sure, but... I've never had the urge to protect anyone. To... claim them."

"You want to claim me?" Mike asked, a twinkle in his eye.

"First chance I get," Harvey answered in a low voice.

"I could give you a chance right now."

"Now? Mike..."

"Never mind." Mike looked away. "I understand if you don't want to."

"Hey," Harvey grabbed Mike's chin and turned his face back to him, "I never said I didn't want to. I just don't know if it's a good idea considering..."

"Considering?" Mike looked doubtful. In his mind, he thought Harvey was just trying to let him down easy, even though that sounded completely unlike him.

"Considering all you've been through. I don't want to take advantage of you."

Mike giggled. It was a tiny, low sound, but a giggle nonetheless. "It wouldn't be taking advantage of me. It would be celebrating."

"Celebrating what?"

"Harvey... I'm finally free. My... my father can't hurt me. I don't have to be afraid anymore. And you... you... you're telling me you liked kissing me and hearing me say that I love you. If that's not something to celebrate, then I don't know what is."

"Well, if you're sure, who am I to deny us what we both want?"

"Exactly." Mike allowed himself to be pulled toward Harvey and into his lap, feeling sweet kisses brush against his neck as Harvey's hands roamed his chest. His body was heating up, blood pumping faster in preparation for what was to come. "Wait..."

Harvey stopped immediately, not wanting to cross any lines. "What?"

"You know I love you, right?"

"Yeah," he answered with a tiny grin. "you've said."

"And you love me too."

Harvey blinked in surprise. "I never said that."

"Doesn't matter. You love me. Or you will. Either way, I love you and I can tell that even though my father was an evil bastard, you feel bad about taking another human's life. But, Harvey... you gave me my life back. And I was already in love with you... do you have any idea how much I..."

Harvey noticed Mike's inability to find the words he was searching for. "I'm sure you'll be able to show me exactly what you're trying to say, Mike." He pushed Mike down on the bed, kissing him and pressing his body deeper into the mattress. If someone had told him yesterday that he'd be making out with his associate after killing a man to protect him, he would have called them crazy. And if someone had said he'd end up making out with him, preparing to fuck him and continue to fuck him well into the future, he would have had them committed. But that's what was happening, and he honestly couldn't picture anything different.