Title: The Marlins and the Trout

Rating: R

Beta: simeysgirl

A/N: Birthday fic for the lovely oflights! I'm sorry this isn't a Mark/Eduardo fic, but i couldn't exactly ask you to beta your own birthday present, could i? If anyone hasn't seen The Social Network then you're not going to get half of the jokes. If you aren't oflights then you're not going to get any of the in-jokes. Sorry...

Harry had seen it at least six times now. Seven if you include the time it was playing in the background while he answered his post, which Harry didn't; he hadn't been giving it his full attention. And it really did deserve his full attention.

From the very first scene, Harry had been hooked. Draco had agreed he would sit down and watch it with Harry when Harry had suggested it, but he had yet to do so. Harry had now bugged Draco about seeing it for ages, knowing that Draco would enjoy it, too.

Tonight Harry wasn't going to take any of Draco's excuses. He didn't care how busy or hungry or tired or horny Draco was; they were going to sit down and watch it. Draco was going to love it just as much as Harry and they would be able to talk about it and gush about it together.

When Draco stepped out of the Floo that night, Harry was at his side in an instant. He took Draco's jacket with one hand while handing him a glass of wine with the other.

After giving Draco a quick kiss on the lips Harry motioned to the sofa. "Sit," he said with a smile.

Draco narrowed his eyes at Harry, but took a sip of his wine and sat down all the same.

"Relax," Harry instructed as he left the room in search of appropriate film food.

A few minutes later Harry returned to see that Draco had taken his shoes and socks off and had sunk down low in his seat with his legs stretched out in front of him. He looked comfy and Harry couldn't wait to curl up next to him on the sofa.

Looking up at Harry, Draco raised an eyebrow expectantly.

Harry answered the unasked question with, "I have popcorn!" He lifted the bowl in his hands and waved it slightly in Draco's direction.

"Oh, Merlin," Draco said as he closed his eyes and let his head fall back against the sofa. "You're making me watch that damn film, aren't you?" He didn't even open his eyes to see Harry nod, but he must have known what the answer was as he followed his question by saying, "Okay, fine. Let's watch it." Draco then cracked open an eye to look up at Harry. "The amount you've hyped this up, it'd better be good."

"It is," Harry replied. He plonked himself down on the sofa next to Draco and pressed play on the DVD remote. Having the television on and the DVD ready to go wasn't crazy; it was simply practical.

"What's it called again?" Draco asked as an electric guitar sounded over a flash of a light, revealing a woman holding a torch aloft.

"The Social Network," Harry answered without taking his eyes off of the screen.

"Oh yes, it's about Headnovel, isn't it?" Draco was being purposefully obtuse again. He wasn't even trying to hide his smirk from Harry.

"It's Facebook, and you bloody well know it is." Harry knew Draco got it wrong on purpose to get a rise out of him, and damn it if it didn't work every time.

"Headnovel, Facebook; it's all the same really, isn't it?" Draco said with a shrug as he reached for a handful of popcorn.

"No it's not," Harry mumbled to himself before falling silent as they watched the film.

There were quite a few comments and questions from Draco at various points early on in the film, and Harry did his best to deal with them. He should have anticipated this, really. As Draco had aptly pointed out during the first scene: "Not only is this film Muggle, it's American. Am I really supposed to understand every word that comes out of their mouths? It may as well be a foreign language. What the fuck is a final club?"

For the first 10 minutes or so, Draco had simply moaned about how he didn't like anyone, and then all of a sudden he perked up.

"Who's that? I like him."

"Eduardo?" Harry asked, his voice pitched high in shock. "Why do you like him?" He was a Hufflepuff if ever Harry had seen one, and not someone he thought Draco would like.

"He's tall and slim and attractive; not unlike me." Draco waggled his eyebrows at Harry and Harry laughed. "Plus he has a distinct air about him." He paused, brow furrowed in though. "I can't describe it, he just seems rather... British." Draco finished with a shrug and then picked his drink back up.

Harry gaped at him. "What—How did—But—" He gave up trying to put his astonishment at Draco's instinctual knowledge into words. "Never mind," Harry said instead.

Draco simply stared at Harry as if he'd gone crazy, and then said, "And his name is Eduardo, you say? Well everyone whose name ends with an O is of course worthy of praise and attention." He smiled smugly and then turned his attention back to the popcorn and the film. Rolling his eyes affectionately, Harry did the same.

It was when they got about an hour into the film that Draco spoke up again (to say something that wasn't about how lovely Eduardo was).

"Oh dear, I hate him already. A Sean-a-thon?" Draco gave an exaggerated shudder.

"You only hate him because Eduardo hates him," Harry argued.

"Give me time. I am quite certain I will find more reasons to hate him," Draco assured Harry. And he did.

Before long Draco was lamenting the loss of Mark and Eduardo's camaraderie, and blaming it entirely on Sean Parker.

"He's blatantly jealous of the obvious connection Eduardo and Mark have—even if Mark isn't consciously aware of that connection—and is viciously trying to come between them. The man is a complete and utter bastard."

Harry loved how enthusiastic and involved Draco was getting with the film, but had to disagree with him on this particular point.

"Sean's not that bad," he said. Draco gave Harry his 'You must be fucking joking' look and Harry relented. "Okay, he is that bad, but I kind of like him. A lot."

Shaking his head Draco simply said, "You have terrible taste in men."

"Yep," Harry agreed, looking pointedly at Draco. "I always go for the complete and utter bastards."

"Don't you dare compare me to that... that…" Draco had sat up straight and was gesturing wildly in the direction of the television screen. "That arsehole!" Draco pursed his lips. "No, that won't do; I rather like arseholes. That prick! Nope, I like those too. Pillock! Yes, he's a pillock and nothing at all like me."

Straining in his effort to not laugh outright at Draco, Harry managed to control himself enough to say, "You're the one who said I had terrible taste in men. That would insinuate that you are terrible."

Obviously unimpressed, Draco folded his arms across his chest in what Harry recognised as an unconscious act of defence.

"Well, you can talk, Mr Zuckerberg."

"What?" Harry cried. "I'm nothing like Mark! I haven't allegedly swindled people out of ideas or money. I don't have people suing me every other day!"

"No, but you're just as emotionally retarded as he is."

"He's not emotionally—I can't believe you said that."

"Yes, he is. He's denying his obvious feelings for Eduardo by hiding behind jealously. Jealously that he won't even directly acknowledge. It's kind of sweet, but he'd better snap out of it soon; I want to see some sex already."

"Draco," Harry began carefully, "this isn't that kind of film."

"What, emotionally challenging?"

"No; pornographic."

"Really?" Draco turned a shocked frown at Harry. Harry nodded. "With all the blatant sexual tension, I just assumed…" He pouted. "Pity. Why would they put that in there if nothing comes of it?"

"To sexually frustrate young horny women and gay men."

"Bastards."

Harry hummed in agreement before they both fell silent to watch the rest of the film.

As the credits began to roll at the end of the film, Draco let out a deep sigh.

"Well, that was depressing," Draco said before downing the last of the bottle of wine from his glass.

"Hey!" Harry was affronted. "It's a really good film and I love it kind of a lot. Could you not insult it while it's still playing?"

"Not the whole film, you idiot; the end." At Harry's puzzled look, Draco continued. "Mark never snapped out of it, and now he's left pining for Eduardo."

Closing his eyes, Harry shook his head slightly. "No, Draco, he was left pining for Erica."

Draco sighed again. "Didn't I already tell you how oblivious Mark is to his own feelings? It's Eduardo he loves; he is just projecting those emotions on to Erica."

"You're talking bullshit."

"Fuck off," Draco said without venom; he was smiling. "You made me watch the damn film, but I'll take away from it what I want. Mark and Eduardo eventually forgave each other and lived happily ever after together. Sean Parker spent the rest of his days with an embarrassingly tiny and impotent cock after he fucked over a rather unforgiving witch. The end."

"Fine," Harry said; two could play this game. "In my version Mark is a virgin with a massive cock and Eduardo shows him how to use it. Sean Parker is an adequately amusing sidekick to the pair of them. Everyone lived happily ever after. The end."

Rolling his eyes, Draco simply said, "We're going to have to politely disagree on this one."

"At least we can agree to disagree," Harry said as he turned off the television.

After standing up, Draco pulled Harry to his feet. He kept pulling until Harry was wrapped close in Draco's arms. "I'm sure we can find something else to agree on." Draco accompanied his words with a lascivious smile that made Harry think of Sean Parker. No doubt Draco though he was being more amorous and Eduardo-like.

Harry smiled back at Draco and said, "I'm sure we can."

They went upstairs and spent all night finding enjoyable things to agree on. Harry didn't spare another thought for Mark, Eduardo or Sean bloody Parker.

- End -