DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN BATMAN AT ALL, THIS IS A FANFIC, FOR PETE'S SAKE, IT MEANS I DON'T OWN IT AT ALL, AND I DON'T INTEND TO MAKE MONEY OFF THIS. PEACE.

The Banana Slug: Well, thanks to the only guy that read my crackfic, I decided to make a souless copy of his, sorta, it's kinda based on his You Got HaruhiRolled fanfics, but with different thingies.

WARNING: This fanfic contains brutal violence, massive OOC moments, parodies, character bashes, sensual content, naughty language, Mr. Zsasz, crack pairing, and overall random moments through out, this…is…

You Got BatRolled!

By The Banana Slug

CHAPTER 1: Pilot

The Penguin's Bad Date

The night was young with the Iceberg Lounge underneath it, inside was a small penguin-esque man as he sat at the bar. Oswald Cobblepot looked mighty proud of himself, who drank his green martini with an anchovy inside it with pride, sighing in bliss.

He looked at a picture of a hot nineteen year-old girl with blue eyes and blonde hair, just how he liked them. Young and slutty.

He yelled out to the bartender with glee for another martini, the bartender rushed over and poured more of the liquor in his glass and dropped a fresh anchovy inside.

"Boy, Mr. Cobblepot, you sure seem happy today!" he said happily.

"Oh, yes, I met a pretty little thing on the MyBook those kids are talking about," replied the Penguin with a loving sigh, "Saying she'd like to meet me at the Iceberg Lounge, wouldn't she be surprised that I own the Lounge, eh!?"

"Oh yes, sir," replied the bartender, looking at the picture, "She sure looks beautiful."

Penguin glared and quickly slammed his head on the bar, yelling out in fury, "What are you thinking, charlatan!? She's mine, you hear!? Don't even think about it, or you are fish-bait!"

The bartender, with a large bruise on his forehead, walked away in a daze, talking about chickens on the opera.

In a bipolar fashion, Penguin drank his martini and sighed with joy, he remembered how they would meet. She said she'd be wearing a pin on her shirt which showed a cancel sign over the Dark Knight.

"Oh, another person other than the local yokels that hate that irreverent flying rodent," sighed the Penguin, his hands on his fat chin, dreaming of her, giggling at the table, dancing with him, and jumping on his bed…in more ways than one.

Still in a daze of happiness, he reached for his umbrella and pushed a button at the end. A henchman rushed over in a fright and put a cigarette in his mouth and lit it, running away after giving a quick bow.

"Mr. Cobblepot?"

His heart jumped and turned around, a great grin with his sharp teeth showing, eyes popping, and his cheeks rosy red to meet the woman he'd show his parasol to. However, his happiness turned to sadness when he found out who it was.

"Heya, Cobby, Joker here!" announced the Clown Prince of Crime. What made Penguin's heart drop was the fact that Joker was wearing an anti-Batman pin, just like what his date would say she would wear.

The Penguin turned away as he sweat profusely. "Go away, Joker, I am waiting for my date."

"Yes…you are…ME! NYAHAHAHAAA!" replied Joker in his evil way as he sat down next to Penguin casually.

"WHA-WHA-WHAAAAT!?" yelled out the Penguin in a Sheila Broflovski kind of way, "You are suppose to be a barely legal young and beautiful lady of the evening!"

"Yeah, well, you said you were a body-builder," hissed the Joker as he rubbed the shoulders of the Penguin, much to his discomfort, "But I do love roleplay! Nyeheheh!"

"Please stop rubbing my shoulder," let out Penguin, sweating wildly.

"So tense, would you like a message?" asked the Joker tauntingly as he was given a martini, which he glared at and threw it at the bartender, who flinched and wondered why his day was so terrible, "I want chocolate milk, ya dip! NOW!"

The Penguin sighed and wondered how long his date was, so that he could go to bed, and try to forget this horrible night once and for all.

An awkward silence was prevalent with the Joker and Penguin, with the Joker drinking his chocolate milk with a grin, Penguin just staring at the floor. Joker reached out and got a menu, looking at it as Penguin continued to be silent.

Joker looked at him and asked, "So, what do you want for dinner?"

"Huh?" squawked the Penguin.

"This is a date, and I damn well will have a steak with my date, or I think this date will end with a funeral date," hissed the Joker threateningly, his face pushed against Oswald's a bit to close to be considered straight.

The Penguin looked at him and yelled, "Waiter! Steak!"

Joker then got up and fist-pumped, yelling out, "This date is one hell of a mate!"

"Oh! Do shut up!" grumbled Penguin as he buried his head into his own arms.

LATER THAT EVENING

Still in this strange crack-pairing, the two "love-birds" ate their somewhat lovely dinner, with the Joker eating his heart-shaped steak with lemon sprinkled on the top as Penguin ate his raw marlin with despair, cutting it with the knife and stabbing it with the fork. As he ate, the Joker mimicked him for some time, then putting his fork and knife down politely.

"Sooooooooo," let out the Joker as he fiddled with his steak, pressing his finger against the meat, "Are you married?"

"Okay, I've had enough!" yelled out the Penguin angrily, who pushed his plate of raw fish away and jumped down from his high stool, angrily muttering to himself.

"Hey, hey, hey, what's the matter!" yelled out the Joker in (fake)concern, leaping out of his chair and following the waddling Penguin, towering over him, "I ain't no common salad dressing waitress in those skimpy dresses, you gotta work to get in-"

"Good day, Mr. Joker!" shouted the Penguin sternly, waddling away faster, "I take it you know the way out!"

"…No," replied the Joker casually and with a small smile.

The Penguin growled and stopped to turn him, "I ask you to leave, and I will not be partaking in your joke or whatever you are planning with this, 'date', and besides, don't you already have a girlfriend?"

"Girlfriend?" let out the Joker, he put his chin against his fingers and thought for a long time, remembering something about his "little minx", but he looked around, wondering what Penguin was suggesting. He simply shrugged and walked past him into the snowing city of Gotham City. Joker strolled through the city, picking his teeth with a knife as he hummed his theme tune from the Animated Series.

MEANWHILE

It was a nice Italian restaurant in downtown Gotham, Harley Quinn waited in lonesome at a small table with a couple of cold pasta, burnt-out candles, and dead bodies laying around the establishment.

Harley Quinn. Broken, not moving an inch, waiting for her boyfriend to show up. She made sure she wore just the right things for her man, she wore a little red dress that showed her cleavage, was wearing his lipstick, and even used the perfume she hated but he adored, "Scent of Guano".

She picked up her phone from her purse and called the Joker's cell…for the twenty-first time. What she heard was…

"Greetings, Joker here, I am sorry, but I am unable to get to the phone, leave a message after the insane trademarked laughter! NYA HA HA HA HA HA HAAAA!"

She put her phone down and looked down at her food again, she gazed up at the ceiling and sighed in pure depression, then letting out sadly with a weak breath, "He's probably runnin' late…yeah, just runnin' late."

BatWii

At the Batcave, both Robin and Batman were playing WiiSports vigorously, competing as hard as they could, shaking their controllers around to beat each other. Boy, did that sound wrong.

"You are sooooo gonna lose, Batman!" laughed Robin.

"Nu-uh, I am so gonna whoop your ass boy, I am the elder!" yelled Batman, waving his controller around, losing badly, "Erm, I think my BatWii Controller is not working."

"Um, Batman, is it illegal to make an illegal copy of the Wii from scratch?" asked a worried Robin.

"Nope, because it ain't no Wii, it's the BatWii," argued the Dark Knight angrily, "Which means…shut up!"

As they played their WiiSports, with the tides turning and having Batman winning, Alfred walked down the stairs with the Batphone on a platter and said with a prevalent calm voice, "Master Wayne, Master Drake, a telephone call from Commissioner Gordon. He said that Two-Face has just robbed the Gotham National Bank and has taken a young woman hostage in the local bank."

"Yeah, sure, Alfred, we're busy," replied Batman, not paying attention.

"We'll get on it…eventually," added Robin.

Both the vigilantes continued to play WiiSports, each trying to defeat the other, calling out at each other with horrid names. Batman would occasionally slap Robin in the back of the head, but Robin would continue to focus on the competition, not falling for the Bat's cheating ways.

Alfred waited for a while, then saying, "Master Bruce, I said that-"

"WHERE YO GAME AT!? WHERE YO GAAAAME AT!?" taunted Batman, pushing Robin to the side.

"Don't make me bring it, Batboy!" retorted Robin, who quickly flipped Batman's cape over his head. Batman struggled frantically and got his cape off, quickly getting back to the game as desperately as he can.

"Master Wayne…I must implore that-"

"Alfred, I am currently showing Miss Little Rob-Me-Of-My-Money who the boss is 'round here!" yelled out Batman, "I think we can talk 'bout this "Two-Face" crap later!

"Tell Mr. I'm-Too-Cool-To-Buy-A-Wii-But-I-Will-Anyhow to get ready to cry like a little baby because I'M GONNA KICK YOUR ASS!" taunted Robin. But was devastatingly stunned when Batman swiftly beat Robin in WiiSports. Batman threw his controller down and spread his arms, doing the Moon Walk, and flipping off Robin in his face.

"What up? What up?" taunted Batman.

Robin looked at him with scorn, then yelling out with ire, "Best 2-out-of-3!"

"Damn straight!" taunted Batman, who picked up his controller and played a new game with his ward as Alfred watched them ignore him.

He sighed in annoyance and walked up the stairs, calling out, "Dinner will be ready at nine, Master Wayne."

"Yeah, okay, Albert," grunted back Batman, too busy to care right now. Alfred shook his head and walked out of the Bat-Cave, putting down the Bat-Phone on a coffee table as he was looking out the window. He saw a large explosion from inside of Gotham City with the Bat-Signal shining in the night sky.

"I bet Jarvis doesn't have to put up with this bollocks," murmured Alfred under his breath.

The Banana Slug: Rewrote this because I didn't proofread my stuff at this time, now I do. So, I made some better grammatical corrections so that my stuff doesn't look like a COMPLETE piece of crap.

G'day!