Chapter 5

Monday, voicemail received at 2:18 p.m.

Call from Blaine Anderson to Kurt Hummel

"Kurt? Listen, I know you're mad, and I said some things I'm not proud of, but this is getting silly. You're not answering your phone, or any of the texts I send. You're avoiding me at school… I haven't seen you since last week! You even skipped the Warbler meeting today.

"I just… I need to talk to you, Kurt. The argument we had… I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said that about you being like Karofsky. You're not. I know you're not.

"And then you left me that message yesterday… I just, I want to make sure you're okay, that's all. So, please, Kurt, call me, text me, anything."

There is a moment of silence, as though an internal debate is occurring.

"I miss you…" A click, and the message ends.

-Thursday, Room 26 on the second floor of Lima Heights Hospital, 3:48 p.m.-

Blaine stood silently in the quiet room. The only sounds were the quiet breathing of the three sleeping individuals scattered on chairs around the room, and the monitoring noises of the different machines hooked to the figure in the sterile, white hospital bed.

Back at the high school, as the other kids continued to watch him silently, Rachel had slowly moved forward. She'd never said a word, just led him to her car. He had climbed in the passenger seat, and sat in the uncomfortable silence until they reached the hospital. Then she had simply whispered a room number, and he had gone on alone.

Kurt was always pale. Blaine was aware of that. It had been one of the first things the older boy noticed about the countertenor. Now, though, he appeared almost translucent.

And a face meant for expression was blank - no emotion showing. His whole body was too still, and seemed so much smaller than before.

Blaine had spent so much time picturing the other boy as someone who took up space simply by being himself. Kurt had charisma and presence that made him appear larger than life.

Now he was still, tucked unmoving under blankets only a few shades whiter than his skin.

"Kurt…" he whispered, partly so he wouldn't wake Burt, Carol and Finn, but mostly because the circumstances simply demanded softness. It felt wrong to speak any louder, like yelling in a church. "Kurt, I'm so sorry. God, I'm so sorry. If this is my fault… Kurt, please wake up. Please, Kurt, I need you to be okay."

He hadn't noticed himself moving forward, his fingers wrapping around the slim hand that Kurt's father wasn't holding in an unconscious grip like iron. Now that he was touching Kurt, though, Blaine finally admitted everything.

"I like you, Kurt. Of course I like you. Maybe even love you. How could I not? But I was scared.

"High school romances aren't supposed to last. And I was terrified that you only liked me because I was the first out gay guy you'd ever met. Meanwhile, here I was, liking you more and more each day. And I tried to stop myself, because you looked up to me. I knew it, and I didn't want to abuse that.

"I thought… I thought you would figure out, sooner or later, that you were worthy of someone better than me. And I couldn't stand that. The simple idea of you being with someone else, it made me sick to my stomach.

"But you just kept caring about me, and trusting me, even after I gave you the worst advice possible. First I tell you to confront your bully, and the next thing I know, you're calling me say that he's closeted and gay and a homophobe who kissed you. Do you have any idea how much I wanted to bawl when you sat there, tears in your eyes, looking so damn beautiful and perfect, even while crying, and told me that that was your first kiss? All I wanted, at that moment, was to lean over and give you a better kiss to remember the day by, only I didn't dare. You were so vulnerable and open, and I thought it would be taking advantage." Blaine sighed, scrubbed a hand over his face, felt water pricking at the corners of his eyes.

"It made no sense. I'd barely known you a few days, and you already affected me so deeply. I kept pretending it wasn't that overwhelming, kept insisting I play the mentor. And I convinced myself that, after you transferred, you were safe. It wasn't safe enough though. I knew everyone would like you more if you were less obvious, if you started controlling yourself. And I also gave you that advice to try fitting in for more selfish reasons - I didn't want anyone else to see how vibrant you are. I didn't want anyone else to fall in love with you, because maybe one of them would break through that hero-worship you seemed to have for me, and take you away.

"And then this whole thing with Rachel… And Jeremiah before that. I convinced myself, both times, that I cared about them. That it was the right thing to do, because otherwise I'd never be able to stop thinking about you, Kurt."

He couldn't stop the gasp that tore up his throat, or the overwhelming need to sink to his knees besides the bed and rest his forehead on that soft hand.

"Kurt, please, please, you need to wake up. Your dad and Finn and your step-mom, and all of the McKinley glee club, they need you.

"And I- I need you, Kurt. I need you to wake up and tell me how much of an oblivious jackass I've been. So, please, wake up, Kurt."

Then he broke down, and he couldn't breathe, and everything inside hurt.

Suddenly, large, warm arms had wrapped around him, and a deep, gruff voice that Blaine recognized as Kurt's overprotective father was whispering, "Hang on, kid. We need to stay strong. It'll be alright. It's got to be alright."

As Kurt continued to lie without a twitch or shift, Burt and Blaine held each other and cried.

end.

a/n DON'T KILL ME, PLEASE! There is a sequel to this fic that explains more, and revolves around the time Kurt is in a coma in the hospital. It's called "22 Letters and Notes, and a Song". It is followed by another sequel fic called "22 Therapy Sessions and Realizations, & a Decision".

Thank you to everyone who has reviewed and put this story on alert, or favorites! Your response has been overwhelming, and definitely helped me to get this finished so quickly.