I... Wanted to write this for fun! One day, I was pondering all of the really obnoxious things I could do to annoy the heck outta Erik. Aaaand... Yeah. I came up with a couple of these. Also, I'd like to thank Julie Lovett for the idea. THANKS!

Disclaimer: I do not own Phantom of the Opera or SOME of these numbers. Some meaning, like, two. Or so.

You really want to annoy Erik? Really, really? Like, you will KILL to do so? Then read the list, pick out a few, and KNOCK YOURSELF OUT! Literally, you horrible people. Why... Would you ever do anything like these (gestures below) to him?

Alright, so I was messing around! Pick out a few and have fun!

Reminder: This list does not only just work on Erik. Think: "Hey, friend! Can I come over to your house, today?"

Disclaimer2: This authoress is not responsible for any injuries you may or may not receive from Erik, the Phantom of the Opera, whilst fulfilling this list. Also, this authoress is not responsible for any attempts of Punjabbing he may or may not try to bestow upon you. You have been warned. Now, you cannot sue me.

1. Refuse to call him anything other than "Ricky".

2. Tell him Christine left him for someone she hardly knows.

3. Tell him he's ugly.

4. Ask him if you can use a blender/chainsaw to "even out the rest of his face."

5. Ask him how old he is.

6. Tell him he's horrible at singing.

7. Ask him if he can detect a Scotsman in the room.

8. Ask him if he can hear a strange, Scottish accent emanating from his insides.

9. Ask him if he's been to Scotland, recently.

10. Directing your words to his stomach, tell him "I'M GONNA GET YOU OUT, DON'T WORRY!" Then, pull out a chainsaw.

11. Ask him about his childhood.

12. Ask him questions about gypsies (i.e. What do they eat? Are they cannibals? What do they believe in? Do they like to beat up little boys?)

13. Ask him if he's ever peed his pants before.

14. Ask him where he goes to the bathroom.

15. Ask him where he gets his food.

16. Repeatedly ask him where he gets his food.

17. Even if he has told you where he gets his food, say, "OH! So that's where all the stagehands go!" Then repeat number 10.

18. Tell him he's a freak.

19. Tell him he's unworthy of his mask.

20. Tell him he's against your religion.

21. When he leaves, immediately begin to shove stuff off of bookshelves, knock stuff over, etc. When he gets back and asks, "WHAT IS THE MEANING OF THIS?", tell him a Tornado hit (if you don't find this funny or don't get it, try to remember where he lives).

22. Ask him where he gets his candles for each candle he owns. (i.e. Point to a candle, ask him where he gets it. Wait for an answer. Point to another candle. Ask him where he gets it. Etc.)

23. Ask him where he gets his candles.

24. Ask him where he gets his candles.

25. Ask him where he gets his candles.

26. Do you get the point, now, or do I really have to say it again?

27. Ask him what his favorite color is.

28. Suggest that he go and make a pot of tea (make sure it's right at his breaking point; when he looks like he's going to burst at any minute)

29. Ask him obnoxious questions throughout the whole tea-making process. (review numbers 1-28)

30. When he clamps his hand over your mouth and offers the tea, remove his hand and say, "Oh, I don't drink tea."

31. Right when he's about to pour the tea into his own cup, "trip".

32. Repeat 31 as many times as you can get away with.

33. Finally, when he gives up and "loses his appetite for tea", offer him a chair (yes, in his own house). Threaten to haunt him for the rest of his life if he doesn't take it.

34. When he takes the chair, tell him you're going to do it anyway.

35. Place the tea cup as far away from him as possible. (just wait and see what for)

36. Attempt to pour the tea into the cup, but "miss" and "accidentally" pour the tea into his lap.

37. When he swears, scold him, grab a bar of soap, and immediately begin to wash his mouth out.

38. Act like his mom (i.e. Did you wash behind your ears? You are not going anywhere until I can see my reflection in your dinner-plate! It's time for bed-time, dear; it's 7 o'clock, etc.)

39. Tell him you want to visit the upper-world for a moment.

40. Go by yourself.

41. Actually visit the upper-world.

42. Come back after an hour or so, leave the Gondola on the shore, swim back, and tell him you "lost his boat".

43. Take a swim in his lake. (Don't ask for permission)

44. Feign drowning.

45. After he saves you, hopefully, tell him there were sharks.

46. If he doesn't save you, disappear under the water for a really long time.

47. Do number 46, anyway.

48. Tell him he resembles Justin Bieber.

49. Tell him he resembles Santa.

50. Kick him in the shin.

51. Repeat number 50 as many times as you can.

52. Draw on his face when he sleeps.

53. While he still sleeps, think hot-water, his fingers, and a bathroom trip.

54. Draw on his mask in permanent marker.

55. Bedazzle his mask.

56. Tell him you've recently converted to the faith, "Pyromaniacal Idiots". Think "falling" into one of the preoccupied candle pedestals. (make sure the flame is still going)

57. Tell him you've recently converted to the faith, "Kleptomaniacal Idiots".

58. Slowly begin to swipe his stuff until he realizes that it's missing.

59. When he asks where his stuff is, tell him, "Oh, sorry. Was that stuff valuable? I offered it to Zeus as a sacrifice in hopes that he'd guide the tornadoes away from our house.

60. When he kicks you out, begin to cry, incessantly, at the top of the stairs. The sounds should echo all the way to his domain. (Remember, you cannot cry too loudly)

61. "Move back in" with him. Tell him you'll be on your "best behavior!"

62. Next time he leaves, take a sledge-hammer to his organ. If he kicks you out, again, repeat number 60.

63. Draw on his walls.

64. Re-write your own version of the ugly duckling and make the ugly duckling die a very violent death.

65. Read him this story.

66. Tell him the moral of the story is, "That ugly people are horrible freaks that should be rid from this wor-"

67. Stop mid-sentence and "discover" his mask for the first time.

68. Say, "Oh, my... You poor creature."

69. Carry on with your sentence in number 66.

70. Steal his mask(s, if you haven't already destroyed the others with jewels, permanent marker, etc.), while he sleeps, and hide it in the ladies

dressing room. This could prove to be very dangerous to your life, so make sure he's dead asleep. If he's not, give him a whole bottle of Melatonin (i.e. Making him soup, mixing it into the soup, and giving it to him)

71. Before he wakes up, bribe as many of the women as you can into staying in the ladies' dressing room and repeatedly dressing and undressing themselves.

72. When he wakes up and demands that he get his mask back, tell him it's in the ladies' dressing room.

73. Before following through with these last couple of numbers, make sure you get Madame Giry as far from him as possible. Now, he can't use her to get it. ;)

74. Laugh as he attempts to get his mask back.

75. Talk in a very southern, hill-billy accent for as long as you can get away with.

76. Hide all of his Punjab Lassos. Look at number 1 to refresh your mind. (Haha! Now he can't Punjab you when he tells you, "THAT'S NOT MY NAME!")

77. Tell him you can't survive without rules and that he must make a list for you as soon as possible.

78. Find loop-holes through all of them.

79. Punch a hole into the ceiling (make sure it just creates spider-web cracking, not an actual hole) with a sledge-hammer, thus creating a leak and the incessant, obnoxious sound of dripping water. (Make sure the hole is over the lake)

80. Don't say anything for a long time. (allow him to listen to the dripping)

81. When he starts to yell, tell him, "OOO! I'll fix it!"

82. Use his violin as the wood to cover up the leak and his bow as the hammer.

83. Smash the violin into the wall (hoping to create a flat piece of wood to cover the hole with)

84. Ask him if he's ever been in a previous relationship.

85. Pretend your married to him.

86. Create a photo album of your "wedding".

87. Randomly (this works best during silence), exclaim, "I AM SICK OF THIS! I WANT A DIVORCE!"

88. Storm out of his house.

89. Come back within two minutes.

90. Apologize to him and tell him you were just having a "moment".

91. Kiss him.

92. "Accidentally" dye his white shirts pink.

93. Discover some scissors (they're in your pocket because EVERYBODY carries scissors around with them!) and cut his cape into tiny pieces.

94. If you don't have scissors in your pocket (SHAME ON YOU!) then use your hands.

95. Play rap music on a boom box (you should be carrying that around with you, too)

96. Crank it up as loud as you can.

97. Attempt to sing opera. Continuously. Throughout the day. (This works best during silent intervals of awkward-ness)

98. Tell him you can compose music.

99. When he asks that you show him, bang on the organ as loud as you can.

100. Ask him if he's ever had "the talk" before. (EMBARRASSMENT!)

Alright, well... Hope you enjoyed it! And I just might write some more, so stay tuned!