Logical Kisses.

Hey guys! So, I actually wrote this a while ago, but you know, it sucked so hard that I swore I'd never post it. Ahahaha…yeah….Seriously, the only reason I'm posting it is because I feel super guilty for not updating "In a State". I know I'm a bad person! : ( Anywho. Enjoy. Or not. It's kind of a sad excuse for a oneshot…

~Oh, yeah. I don't own Big Time Rush. But, well, you already knew that didn't you?

Walking over to the kitchen, I found myself humming as I dumped the chips into a bowl and set them out on the table. We were having another "social gathering", this time actually abiding by our three-guest limit. (We had all watched Carlos intently when he texted so that he didn't hit "reply all" once again.) Although, earlier that day we had run choreography for like five hours straight, so I was pretty tired. But oh well. I doubted I would sleep with all of the people here anyways…

An hour later, a movie was playing and so was music, just loud enough that you could hear over people talking, but not loud enough for Bitters. Our group of sixteen were hanging out at different sides of the room, talking and laughing and eating and drinking and pretty much having a good time. Rubbing my eyes, I stifled a yawn as I looked around the room. Suddenly, Camille materialized beside me. "Hey, sleepy. What's up? We haven't talked since I came in." She asked, bubbly as usual.

I smiled, chagrined. "Sorry, Camille. I'm just really tired today." As I said this, I stretched my arms above my head and brought them down again, avoiding her shoulder like the plague.

She noticed. "Hm. Or you're too busy looking for someone else…"

I smiled over at her, shrugging. "Whatever you want to think, Camille."

She narrowed her eyes at me, a knowing grin on her face as she walked away. It was kind of creepy. Left alone again, I glanced around. Lately, I had been so busy that I didn't have time to have crushes on people, what with the band, school and the continuous problems that seemed to arise in our lives. Also- I was in on Mission: Distract Kendall, which had been a success so far. (Even though he was "over Jo" James, Carlos and I did everything we could for him not to be reminded of her again.) Looking around, I secretly looked at peoples' faces. They were people I knew and hung out with, and sure, most of them were healthily attractive, but none of them appealed to me. I shrugged to myself, muttering "Oh well." And turned to grab another chip from the bowl. I found Carlos directly beside me, sitting on the table and nodding his head to the music.

Startled, I caught his attention. "How long have you been there?" I asked, perplexed that someone could sit so close to me and I didn't notice. Man, I was off tonight.

He shrugged, smiling up at me with his giant brown eyes. "Since before you talked to Camille."

Befuddled, I nodded and grabbed a chip. As I ate it, he still grinned up at me with that goofy puppy look in his eyes. Finally, it became kind of awkward.

"What?" I asked, a little self-conscious. I hated it when people stared at me. It freaked me out. He shrugged, still grinning. I shot him a weird look and turned away. What a freak. He was probably just high off all the sugar he'd consumed in the short amount of time there was. Sneaking a peek back, I saw that he was now sipping on a drink and I half-relaxed. That look in his eyes was starting to creep me out. Then I noticed something.

Wait- where was my cup of soda that I just was holding? Looking around, I recognized it as the one Carlos was drinking.

"Dude! That's my drink!" I pointed to it and he just nodded, like it was the most obvious thing in the world. Peeling my eyes from the red plastic, I glared at his face. I couldn't even begin to imagine how many germs were in that cup now, because who knows where Carlos's mouth has been. Yeah, I'm a bit of a clean freak. But whatever. He just gave me those giant eyes again and another smile, but this time, it was totally the puppy-dog look. I had seen many variations on both Katie and Kendall, but Carlos had never tried it on me. Harrumphing, I turned back to the party, muttering. "Fine, you can have it." And walked off to get a new one. I was kind of puzzled as to why Carlos drank out of my cup, but I just passed it off as him needing more sugar, and thought nothing about it.

About an hour or so after that, I was dancing with Camille when she suddenly giggled. I knew my dance moves weren't the best, but there's no need to laugh about them. I glanced down, irked for a moment before I realized she was looking to the side.

"What?" I said, and she snapped her eyes back to me.

"Does Carlos hate me?" She asked, an amused smile still on her face. I was confused.

"I don't think so…wait, why?"

She laughed again, leaning closer to say something. "Because he keeps looking over here and giving me weird expressions." I shot her a puzzled look, but she went on. "First, he has this sad-puppy face on, and he keeps just sitting there, staring at the floor. And then James or Kendall comes up and talks to him and he glances over here like, every four seconds, and glares daggers." She explained, and an incredulous smile came across my face.

"He's a weirdo. Maybe he's staring at someone else." I said, and she shrugged.

"Maybe." She smiled, and continued dancing. I couldn't ignore the slight touch of mischief in her voice, and turned to sneak a peek at Carlos. True enough, he was sitting in a chair, still drinking from my cup and glancing over. Our eyes locked and I shot him an 'are-you-okay' look before he smiled that puppy-dog smile and nodded once, before looking away. Puzzled once again, I continued dancing.

About thirty minutes after that, I was on the couch, trying not to fall asleep. Hoping someone would come by to talk to me, I finally spotted Camille and ushered her over. Soon, she stood in front of me. "What's up?" She asked, and I yawned.

"I'm falling asleep. Come talk to me or something, because I'm afraid of what the guys will do if I pass out."

She laughed along with me, but there was a twinkle in her eye that I noticed, and I was a touch frightened. She was kind of scary when she was like this. "Oh. I've got something better." She said, before giving me the one-moment sign and disappearing again. After a few moments, I heard the music and TV be turned down and Camille's loud voice from a few feet away.

"Hey you guys! Who wants to play Spin the Bottle?" She shouted and everyone cheered. "Everyone sit in a circle over there then!" She replied and I groaned, putting my hands over my face. When I finally put them down, she was sitting beside me as people started filing in to make a circle.

I glared at her perky expression. "This was not what I was thinking of."

She grinned. "I know, but you'll thank me later. Now we can find you someone to look for at parties. Or…" She leaned over, winking. "Find out who it is if there's one already." I sighed, shaking my head. Since I was a bit of a germaphobe, kissing strangers wasn't exactly my favorite pastime.

When everyone had come in and sat either on the couches or on the floor to make a circle, and the table was taken out of the middle, someone placed a bottle in the middle and it started. Thankfully, Camille made us play "her way" which means that you spun twice. First, for the person. Second, for the place. Each of the walls were different 'places'. One was on the cheek, the next on the neck, the third on the lips and the fourth was a 'wild card' (Which meant you could choose any of the three). This was to comfort the shy people, and I was glad of it too. So we began spinning with a good ratio of boys and girls and after a few turns, one of the Jennifers spun me.

James whispered "lucky…" beside me and I laughed despite myself. She spun again, and thankfully it landed on the 'cheek' wall. So, she came over and gave me a tiny peck before returning to her seat.

Camille herself got quite a few kisses, so did James and I almost peed my pants when guitar dude had to kiss Kendall on the neck. Finally, it got to me, and I spun hesitantly, ignoring the guffaws. I let out a breath of relief as it came to rest beside me, pointing to Camille, and we both grinned. I spun again as people complained about the fairness, and it hit 'lips'. James and Kendall began wolf-whistling and everyone cheered as I turned red. Oddly, Carlos was quiet, his face blank as he talked with one of the girls next to him. Turning, I took in a breath and leaned in, capturing her lips with mine. It only lasted a second, and then I pulled away. To my surprise, she was calm too, and we grinned at each other.

Then she spun and it almost landed on me, to which people started yelling about fate, but finally came to rest pointing at James. I leaned back, giving them some space and laughing as they both pushed me. She spun again and it landed on 'wild card' and without a second thought, Camille got up, stepped in front of James and kissed him straight on the lips. It lasted for quite some time and the cat-calls and wolf-whistles rose to a deafening pitch until they both broke away, red as tomatoes. Grinning happily, I shot her a knowing look as she returned to her seat beside me, mollified.

"Oh, shut up." She muttered and I laughed. Then came Carlos, whom I had almost forgotten about. I leaned back, closing my eyes for a moment and stretching my arms and legs out again. This game had done little to wake me up. As I curled them back in, I heard loud guffawing and a ton of remarks, along with the usual whistling. He must have gotten someone hilarious, I thought, deciding not to open my eyes. But the noises got louder and louder until Camille finally shoved me and my eyes snapped open. "What?" I snapped before realizing that all eyes in the room were centered on me.

Glancing down, I saw the darn bottle neck pointing directly at me. "Oh god." I said, covering my face with my hands and everyone burst out laughing. Camille stood up, shoving me over to sit next to Carlos and sitting where I had previously been. "I'll give you two some space." She said, and another wave of laughter erupted.

I glanced over to Carlos and found his tan face blushing furiously, although his dark brown eyes were bright. He reached out and spun the bottle once again, and everyone cheered until it once again stopped at the 'wild card' wall. I turned to face him again, and his dark eyes were considering. I could tell he was thinking hard, and I thought about using my one 'pass' that you got per game, just because I felt bad for him. Finally, his bright eyes decided something, and they came to lock onto mine. Staring at him, he stared completely back, and I felt like I was looking into his soul. It was creepy, and I shivered before someone slammed open the door and split the moment of tension, making me jump in my seat.

Mama Knight stood in the door, very frazzled and clearly irritated. "Okay guys. Time to go now." She said, her voice sharp, and although the teens complained, they high-tailed it to the door after one death-glare from her, shouting their goodbyes as they went. Camille was the last to scamper out, throwing a flirty look at James and a wink to me.

Confused, I shook my head to clear my thoughts. What was that wink for? I sighed as Mama Knight shut the door and began cleaning up the bowls and cups. "I'll help you." Kendall volunteered, and was off, talking to his mother about her day. James shot me a ruffled smile before becoming attached to his phone, no doubt texting Camille.

Letting out a breath, I gave a small smile before getting up. "Well. I'm going to bed now. G'night." I said, and walked out of the room and into the bathroom, shutting the door and getting ready for bed. As I brushed my teeth, I thought about the past few minutes. Thank god Mama Knight came in, I thought, before stopping to think about it. Was Carlos really going to kiss me? I mean, on the lips? Ordinarily I would have laughed at the thought, but he was being weird tonight; giving me the Bambi eyes and the creepy smile, drinking from my soda cup, glaring at Camille and I dancing…I shook my head. Carlos didn't like me like that. Did he? I spit out my toothpaste and swished water around in my mouth. Did I want him to? Wait- what? Did I like Carlos? I mean, In THAT way? I spit the water out too, and gave my hair a quick brush. Tonight made me so confused, and on top of it, I was dead-tired. Taking a deep breath I thought about it for the last time. Okay, so say if Carlos did like me. Do I like him? Uh. Sure. Why not? I thought, reasoning to myself as I leaned against the wall. Sure, if Carlos likes me and I like him, well. Then what would happen? I thought, biting my lip. The band dynamic would totally change, and if we went out and then ever broke up, things would be awkward and the band might fail. Taking a deep breath, I shook my head. No. Carlos can't like me because that wouldn't be logical. Carlos most certainly doesn't like me, just as I certainly don't like him.

Satisfied with my sleep-deprived rambling thoughts, I opened the door to find the subject of my speculations leaning on the opposite wall. His dark brown eyes snapped up to mine, and before I could say anything, he was right in front of me, with his hands on my shoulders and his mouth on mine. It was a very brief, very sweet kiss and after a moment or two, he broke off, his unsure eyes inches from mine. He gazed at me with determination and worry and I stared back at him, expressionless. After a moment, I smiled at him and he smiled back with happiness so pure, it looked like dawn just broke inches away from me. Leaning in again, he crashed his lips into mine, and I pushed back the stupid logic and let myself feel the elated butterflies erupt in my stomach. Yep. Carlos certainly doesn't like me at all.

Yeah…wasn't it a sad sack of a story? Yep. Thought so. But hey! You read it! Ahahahahaha! Your fault, bro.

It's okay. I still love you….