Resorted Fic of Five Things Part 2

Thank You All!

Mad

While, Guy was weightlifting, he was deep in thought about a conversion he had just had with Kakashi, his arch nemesis/only friend. He couldn't help feel jealous of Kakashi's team, in just hours since Kakashi's brilliant epiphany, and trip to the future, his team had magically improved.

This made him think about to his own team who he had been working with for a whole year, and how they were still in need of improvement. He sighed

"Oh the strangeness and wonder of youth."

He decided then, like his arch nemesis, that he was not impressed with his current teams progress and right then, under that tree Saskue was lighting on fire, he vowed to one-up Kakashi by having a better team then him.

He tightened his fist, and raised it in the air. "Kakashi if you can hear me, I swear that my team will be better then yours before the Chunin Exams, believe it!"

After 2,000 sit-ups, Guy had gathered his team in the training field to prepare them, he would not be outdone by Kakashi, not again. His team, consisting of TenTen, Neji, and Lee, would be the best of the best.

"Guy Sensei, what kind of exercise do you have for us today?" Lee shouted in excitement, raising his huge bushy eyebrows in the process and releasing two doves that had been caught inside.

Guy admired Lee's spirit, he would be the easiest and would one day be the best, within the best, within the best, 'Yes' Guy thought, that was possible. He then looked at Neji and TenTen, who were looking a little bored and a little scared.

TenTen swatted away the irritated doves before raising her hand. "Guy Sensei, what are we doing here? Your mood is a little strange today…more so then usual."

"Good observation TenTen. Today we are starting a new activity. Now, you guys have been training hard for the past year, and I know that you are all greet warriors and will continue to blossom into powerful warriors driven by good. But you're not as good as Kakashi's team."

"When did Kakashi Sensei get a team?" Lee asked.

"Yesterday." Guy paused a moment for a more dramatic effect before continuing. "Now, after hours of psychoanalyzing Kakashi and his motives, and doing several thousand push-ups, I realized that I needed to approach this with a new unique perspective. So I created my own time machine."

"What?" TenTen questioned.

"Guy Sensei, how did you pull off such a great feat?" Lee asked, in wonder.

"I'm glad you asked." Guy said in excitement.

Neji rolled his eyes and continued to wish he were on another team. Any other team.

"I created this time machine, out of the items all ninja's should always keep nearby. Those are a roll of paper towels, a sponge, a piece of Asuma's beard, this coconut, and a kool-whip bowl to mix it all together in. All stolen from Kakashi's locker."

All three students stared at him in disbelief, before TenTen spoke up slowly. "So what did you do with this time machine?"

"I saw the future, and I must say, I have never loved this team more. One day you will all become the best ninja's Konoha has ever seen. Only to be outdone by Kakashi's team, mainly Naruto. Today we are going to correct this, and after this lesson you will be the greatest Ninja's ever."

Lee stood up quickly allowing a trapped chicken to escape his right eyebrow. "Guy Sensei, you are a genius, what do we have to do?"

"I should have stayed home today." TenTen said quietly.

"Let's start with you Lee, I love your enthusiasm. Now, in the future you are injured to the point where you cannot fight anymore. However, there is an important lesson you learn from this, and through your struggles you become more powerful then ever."

"ALLRIGHT ALRIGHT! Lee shouted enthusiastically. "What do I have to do?"

"Well my dear boy, we are going to speed the entire process along, and injure you right now."

"SWEET!" Lee shouted again, this time jumping up and down. "Let's do it."

"All right then, since the Sand ninja's aren't here, we'll have to improvise. Now go lay down at the bottom of the ravine while I roll this bolder on top of you."

"Yes Guy Sensei."

Lee took off and Guy quickly rolled the bolder to the edge and sent it over. Seconds later Lee's screams came up from the ravine.

"Ah the pain. Guy Sensei, am I learning yet?"

"Neji, go make sure he can't escape, I'll come back for him this evening." Neji rolled his eyes, but followed.

Guy turned to TenTen. "Now it's your turn."

"Guy sensei, I don't know if I want to participate, I'll just remain a weak ninja forever."

"Nonsense, there is always something to learn. Now, as a filler character, there isn't room for much improvement, but after spying of Kakashi, I saw that he used pain to improve the skills of his weaker student. I'm going to do the same with you."

"How did he do that?"

"He sprayed her in the face with bear mace."

"Oh sweet God, that's horrible."

"Yes, I would never do something that cruel to my students"

Lee's voice rose again from the ravine. "The pain….."

TenTen looked nervous as Guy approached her.

"I have come up with a less cruel method for you." With those words he quickly extended his foot. "Now hold still." And he gracefully kicked up into her crotch.

"AAAAAAAAAAAA." TenTen bent over in pain.

"Do you feel stronger TenTen?." Guy asked.

"I think you broke my vagina." She managed to get out.

Guy frowned. "Hmmm, interesting, as a filler character I assumed you were genderless. I shall converse with Kakashi later, and confirm my finding with Wikipedia. But that's later, now that you've had this life altering event, go stand by that tree until you develop a real personality."

"Guy Sensei-" She started, but he cut her off.

"No TenTen, your hair buns are not a personality."

"Yes GuySensei."

"Now." Guy turned to Neji.

"Your turn. One day you will be the strongest member on this team, this comes from a life-altering event that not only affects you, but your entire family. This event will occur in about six months. Unfortunately though, in the meantime, you are dreadfully unpleasant, and instead of speeding up this event, I am locking you in the supply closed until that time"

He shoved Neji in a supply closed that appeared from nowhere. "Remember to train, see you in six months."

"Guy Sensei, you can't lock me in here, this is childish, can't you just drop a bolder on me instead. Guy Sensei, Guy Sensei, let me out. I have to pee, there are coconuts in here, Guy Sensei, I'm allergic to coconuts. Don't ignore me. I can see you."

After a hard day's work Guy gave one last glance to his injured and pissed off team members, and imagined a world where his team would be better then Kakashi's. Shoving his closed fist into the sunset he smiled happily.

Two days later, there was a sudden increase of time machines on the training grounds and Asuma stormed into the teacher's quarters where everybody fell silent, because they knew what they had done.

"Why do students keep stealing my beard hair, and where the hell are all the paper towels?"