Title: A Brother's Love

By: EsTeLweNadia

Summary: Anime/manga verse. Tag to Episode and Manga Chapter of the same name, Steel Heart. The Elrics' bitter fight relived in three POVs; Edward, Winry and Alphonse, and the conclusion.

Genre: Hurt/Comfort, Angst, Friendship, Family

Disclaimer: Fullmetal Alchemist does NOT belong to me.

Author's Note: Watched Episode 23 and I couldn't leave it alone. I just couldn't help exploring the brothers' pain, maybe even provide them with some closure. As much as I love seeing them hurt, I also yearn for their happy ending. See? I am not THAT mean. ^^

This story has not been beta-ed. So all mistakes are mine and mine alone, with deepest apologies.

As always, comments and constructive criticism are immensely appreciated.

Hope you will enjoy the story.

There's no other love like the love for a brother. There's no other love like the love from a brother. – Terri Guillemets

Every word hurt.

And it hurt worse coming from his little brother. His sweet, innocent little brother. The anger and the hatred emanating from the words uttered, shocked and horrified him to the core. His heart stuttered, and his breath stalled painfully in his chest. Sweet Alphonse couldn't be capable of displaying such negative emotions, could he?

But why couldn't he? He had every right to be angry. To hate his stupid older brother who was the very reason he lost his human body and now in a hollow shell of an abandoned armor. He had every right. And Edward couldn't blame him. It hurt to be hated by the only remaining family you had, by the one you loved more than anything else in the world but…

"What about you, my so-called brother?"

So-called brother… Maybe he deserved that. No real brother would affix the soul of their little brother to a steel body. No real brother would endanger the life of his little brother in a stupid attempt to resurrect the dead. Edward snorted sadly. He realized it now, that he was only a pathetic excuse for a big brother. Maybe he didn't even deserve Al as his sibling. Al definitely deserved someone a lot better than him.

"My memories and soul are fake! Something you've created! I know what the truth is. The person named Alphonse Elric never existed at all. Is that what you wanted to say?"

Why? Why would Al say something like that? Of course Al was real. Edward had sacrificed his arm, his own arm, to get Al's soul back. Alphonse's soul. Not anyone else. Because Al was someone very, very important to him, and Ed was willing to sacrifice anything and everything to get Al back. Fake memories? Did Al mean to say that all those time they played, fought, laughed, cried and spent together when they were kids, were not real enough? That they didn't mean anything to him? Didn't matter to him?

Stay back! Keep away from me!

When Al turned to walk away, Edward had reached out to stop him, unwilling to let him go. Afraid to see Al leave him behind, leave him alone, just like Dad had, just like Mom had. Because life without Al, meant nothing to Edward. So he grabbed hold and refused to let go. He had tried to make Al listen, to make him stay, but Al had wanted nothing to do with him anymore. With a rough jerk of his gauntlet arm, Al had promptly sent him sprawling on the ground. The next thing he knew, there was blood trickling from his mouth, his cheek hurt, his body hurt, his barely-healed wounds screaming in agony as he struggled to a sitting position. But the agony was nothing compared to the agony he felt deep within the recesses of his heart and soul.

"Alphonse," one last plea, in a form of a trembling, broken voice that apparently wasn't enough to reveal how broken he was inside, wasn't enough to stop Al from leaping off the railing of the roof to the ground floor, wasn't enough to stop Al from leaving, from rejecting him. And it hurt. It hurt so much.

Edward buried his head in his arms, his entire body shaking with violent sobs.

I'm so sorry, Al. I'm so sorry…

"Ed…"

A choked whisper escaped Winry's throat as she stared mournfully at the huddled figure on the bed, wrapped in a blanket bigger than he. The room was cold and dark, illuminated only by the soft glow of the moonlight. And yet, from where she was standing, she could feel Ed's profound misery in waves, so thick it was almost suffocating. She wanted to go in, hug and comfort him, shake and rattle and maybe knock some sense into him, but with Ed giving a clear 'leave-me-alone' signal, Winry couldn't. She wouldn't even dare. Ed would probably withdraw away from her and deeper into himself, and would surely hate himself more for making her worried. For making everyone worried. About him.

Yeah, like Ed didn't have anything else on his Guilt plate.

Winry closed the door quietly, then leaned against it, wrapping her arms around herself. She thought she had an idea on how much pain Ed had been experiencing, but to witness him withdrawn and broken like this, Winry realized that she had absolutely no idea at all. It scared her on how blatantly ignorant she had been, how terribly stupid of her to fall for the strong, loud front he had put up for everyone's sake. She was supposed to see through his façades, being his childhood best friend and all, but she didn't, and now, she hated herself for it.

"I had the chance to do it. To change him back to normal, but I hesitated. Because in order for it to work, I would have to sacrifice some other people. But it would have been for Al. Compared to him; those other people shouldn't have meant anything to me. But I… I just couldn't do it. Not with him watching me. My conscience had gotten in the way. I promised…"

And Alphonse…

How could Al not see how much Ed love him? Ed was ready to throw everything away for his little brother. Ed was ready to give anything for his little brother. The first name that Ed breathed as soon as he rose to consciousness was Al's, and always Al, not anyone else! Edward had been slightly unsteady on his feet but he still insisted to repair Al's damaged armor immediately. And he was exhausted from the energy spent for the repair, but Al didn't even thank him!

Still, even with those hurting words Al had hurled mercilessly at him, Ed tried to deflect them with a grin. A grin! Winry recalled how shock she had been at his futile attempt to lighten the situation. But as Al continued his baseless accusations, Winry couldn't stand aside and watch Ed suffer, from the very words from his beloved little brother. She tried, she tried to say something to defend Ed, but Al was having none of it. He almost lashed out at her, almost hit her. Good thing she had good reflexes, because if she had been hurt by Al, Winry was pretty sure the situation would get way out of hand.

Undeterred, she tried to convince Al again. That Al wasn't fake, that Al was as real as herself and Ed, that Al existed, but the stubborn younger Elric brother refused to listen. When Ed finally spoke, Winry thought she had never wanted to hear his voice in that tone again. The tone of Ed's whisper was filled with so much pain, so much remorse, so much self-loathing; Winry could feel her heart breaking into countless pieces.

And her heart literally stopped when Edward was thrown off to the ground, in Al's attempt to dislodge his brother's hold on him. To see Ed trembling in something more than physical injuries, newly-inflicted or still-healing was painful enough, but to hear his soft, broken rasp of 'Alphonse', Winry knew the pain she felt at the Elric brother's situation was nothing compared to the pain Ed felt at his brother's sudden change in behavior. Winry had never heard Ed calling his brother in his full name, ever, and she hoped she would never have to hear it again.

Winry shuddered to think of what might have happened if she wasn't there to prevent Edward from jumping off the roof after his brother. She had held on desperately to him, as he struggled to get away, to chase after Al, all the while screaming Al's name in pure, unadulterated anguish. Ed had then collapsed against the railings, and Winry had folded him in her embrace while he shook with silent tears. Winry had felt her own tears dripping down her chin as she wept with Ed, wept for him. They had stayed like that until Maria Ross found them.

Her head snapped up, her eyes cleared. Alphonse was the one causing his brother, his only older brother, so much pain, and he should be the one fixing it.

Winry clenched her handy wrench tightly in her fist, feeling so angry she began to shake.

Silly, stupid Al!

With grim determination, she marched off to find the younger Elric sibling whom she knew was perching silently on the rooftop. She was so going to knock some sense into that empty armor!

If Al could kick himself, he would have done so a long time ago.

That, and more.

But Al couldn't, so he wept. His soul wept from the grief and guilt of causing his brother so much pain, when Nii-san had already so much to begin with.

"What about you, my so-called brother?"

Al covered his face in both hands, groaning in despair. He didn't mean it when he said that. He didn't mean to accuse Nii-san of being fake, of being 'so-called'. He didn't mean to hurt Nii-san the way he did. He didn't mean any of it. Al didn't know what he was thinking. Al didn't know why he even considered the words of an enemy more than the words of his own brother who had been there for him since the day he was born.

He remembered feeling some sort of a sick satisfaction upon seeing Nii-san flinch at his remarks. Now, Al felt sick inside for causing that stricken look on Nii-san's face.

And to his growing horror he realized that in an attempt to create some distance between them, he had inadvertently hit Nii-san, wounding him further when he was already, physically wounded. The horror had been the very thing that triggered him to leap off the roof and run away. Leaving Nii-san. Leaving him alone.

In that one afternoon, Al had inflicted so many different kinds of wounds on Nii-san. Physical, emotional, physiological and mental grievances. With his own words and with his own hands.

"Do you hate me, Al?"

"I could never hate you, Nii-san."

Somehow, Al doubted that his answer would be enough to reassure Nii-san that Al could never, ever hate him. Nii-san had been blaming himself for the very state Al was in right now. Nii-san had been blaming himself for everything. Al had known, and foolishly, had made it worse.

I'm so sorry, Nii-san… I'm so sorry…

"—my!"

Winry's choked voice. Startled, Al turned around…

"Dummy!"

… only to receive a mighty whack of a very familiar steel wrench on his breastplate. The force was tremendous enough to send him falling on his metallic bottom, staring at Winry in shock and confusion.

The girl was standing rigidly, her slender body trembling with barely-constrained rage, and there were tears running down on her face, despite the fierce glare solely fixed onto him.

"Winry?" He tried to calm her by raising placating hands, but Al should have known better.

"Al, you dummy!" Winry delivered another devastating blow to his head, and for a moment, the world wobbled and rang uncertainly. Al had to grip his head to stop its vibrations from the blow.

"You don't know how Ed feels!" Winry shouted, still glaring at him, her tears still flowing. "The thing that Ed was too scared to tell you… was that if you blamed him for what happened! He cried every night in his fever and pain and delirium that came with the automail surgery, constantly worrying that you would definitely blame him and that he was too scared to ask you!"

Al was too stunned to respond.

Winry had fallen in front of him, slamming her wrench on him repeatedly as she sobbed more earnestly now. "But… but you're still… In what world would there be an idiot who would be willing to throw away his own life just to make a fake little brother?" She stopped her assaults, then. Raising an arm to press it against her tearful eyes, Winry belted out, "Isn't he your only brother?"

Al looked away. Winry was right. She had been right all along. He was indeed, a dummy.

Suddenly Winry's arm whipped out to point at the staircase. Al just stared at her, baffled.

"Go apologize to him!" Winry snapped.

Al slowly climbed to his feet, his armor clanking noisily. "Ah… okay."

When Winry raised her wrench threateningly at him and yelled, "Hurry up!", Al broke into a run.

"Nii-san."

Edward barely raised his head at Al's hesitant voice. Instead he burrowed deeper into his blanket, refusing to look at his little brother.

"Nii-san, I'm sorry…"

"You shouldn't be, Al," Ed cut him off, surprised at the hoarseness of his voice. Clearing his throat slightly, he continued more firmly, "It's not your fault."

"But it is, Nii-san!"

Ed shook his head slowly, dejectedly. The smile on his face felt stiff, felt so fake. "No, Al. None of this is your fault. You have every right to be angry at me. You have every right to blame me. You have every right to… hate me. If anyone should apologize, it should have been me, Al. It is my fault you're in that hollow shell, so that is why I have to quickly find a way to restore you back to normal." Ed looked up then, into Al's softly glowing eyes. Tears shone in Ed's golden orbs, silently pleading the other to understand. In the moonlight, Al could see a darkening bruise on his brother's jaw, the split bottom lip. "But you have to trust me, Al!"

Al raised his hands, and watched in dismay when Ed flinched, but he continued ahead to place them gently on Nii-san's shoulders. "I trust you, Nii-san. I always have. And you are wrong about one thing. Me in this body? Is not your fault. This is our fault. We brought this upon us, so we fix this together. I don't want you to be restoring only me; I want you to be restoring you, too, Nii-san."

"So you don't hate me, Al?" Nii-san's voice was so painfully unsure, so painfully timid, it hurt Al just to hear it, and it hurt him more to see the pained expression on his brother's face. Edward Elric, always so strong, always so loud, so bold, reduced to this? Al could never forgive himself. "Even after all that I've done to you?"

Al made sure that Ed could hear the smile in his voice, could feel the warmth in his voice. "I could never hate you, Nii-san. You're my only brother."

"Real or so-called brother?" Ed countered bitterly.

Al froze. Shamed and humbled, Al whispered, "I'm so sorry, Nii-san. I didn't mean any of it. Please. You have to trust me. I didn't know what I was thinking. I am so sorry…"

A light huff, then Al felt a gentle cuff to his metal head. Surprised, Al looked at Edward, who, to his immense relief, was smiling more easily now, albeit a slight frown on his face. "You're right… what are you thinking? I'm pretty sure you didn't come up with ideas as silly as those. Who put that thought in your head, huh?"

"Barry the Chopper," Al replied gloomily.

Edward gave a feral grin. "I'll chop him to pieces next time I see him."

"Get in line, Nii-san."

There was a slight pause, before Al hesitantly shattered it. "So… are we alright now?"

"Yeah," Edward looked at Al with a fierce determination on his face, shining in his eyes, and Al was so happy to see the fire again. "We've decided that we'll definitely restore ourselves. We don't need that sort of half-hearted hearts that would get shaken up by something as minor as this!" Edward clenched his automail hand into a fist and raised it to the air. "I am… going to get stronger, both emotionally and at fighting!"

Al smiled, clenched his own fist and gently connected it with his brother's. "Yeah… let's get even stronger. Together."

Standing by the doorway, Winry couldn't help but cry again.

But amidst those tears, there was a smile.

And those tears? Were, finally, tears of joy.

– The End –

Woohoo! Mission accomplished! I've finally gotten this out of my head! *sighs in relief*

Somehow this story is a blend of the anime episode and the manga chapter, arranged and modified to fit into my storyline, because I just love both versions and I do feel that the anime episode is somewhat… incomplete. So I kind of mashed 'em up. Hopefully it turned out okay, but I am really happy with how it turned out. ^^

Thank you for reading!