The sun was shining merrily.

"Fuck you, sun," thought Kakashi.

He didn't even have a hangover or anything. He was just not a morning person.

But, due to years of careful ninja conditioning, he woke up at six thirty every day, and it sucked. It sucked so much.

Up and at 'em, kid!

Well, time to make the donuts. Hm, was there any soda left in the refridgerator? (He hated always hated the taste of coffee. Too bitter. And tea was somehow even worse, even with sugar.) It's an acquired taste, Kagami-oji-san says

His fridge was nearly empty. There was a head of cabbage, several boxes of leftover takeout, a half a stick of butter, like six different flavors of yogurt, and a bowl of tuna. He...really needed to go shopping. When he was sober. Because he didn't recall buying this cabbage and he didn't even like cabbage, so he concluded he had bought it while drunk, which really described the state in which he made the majority of his purchases. But nothing caffeinated.

And, then, he saw, there on the counter: a full two liter bottle of soda. But it would be warm. Damn.

Whatever. He would get a bottle from the convenience store. Kakashi sighed and walked into the bathroom. He had showered last night before he went to bed so to avoid having to do it this morning, but he still had to shave.

Was it weird he shaved every day even though he always wore his mask? ...Was it weird he wore his mask to bed? Probably.

He sighed. The Sharingan was as terribly red as it always was. His hitai-ate was in some other room, so he pressed a washcloth to his face both to avoid chakra drain and so he wouldn't have to see it.

One of the other jounin who had been chosen to have a genin team (he was pretty sure she actually asked for one, the freak), had red eyes, and he could never look at her straight on. (Also, could her parents have been any less creative? Your kid has red eyes, yes, call her "crimson", that's sooo clever. Although considering one of his new students had pink hair and was named Sakura, he supposed it could be worse.)

Where even was his razor? Oh, yeah, in his hand. He really needed some caffeine.

that soda will rot your teeth out, young man

And oh man, had he forgotten to buy shaving cream again too? Well, liquid soap worked, sort of. Ah, nothing like the feeling of smooth skin! (Some chick had told him once it was even nicer when it was your legs, and then he had actually tried it and it was but the feeling of unmanliness was really not worth it.)

Where were his pants? And he really needed to buy new underwear, too, didn't he? How did his boxers even get bloodstained? Fuck, had he been playing strip fencing again while drunk? So many questions. So few answers.

That's your last drink, bro, unless you wanna go to some other bar

Kakashi walked over to his dresser, hoping he had something clean to wear. He opened the first drawer. It contained one sock and nothing else. He only wore ninja sandals, why did he even own socks? Or, uh, own a sock, as the case may be. Then the second drawer, which contained: a probably-too-small ANBU shirt, two short-sleeved uniform shirts (which he would wear if he had to, but he really hoped he didn't have to), boxer briefs from that time he thought they were sexier or something, and another sock, but one that was a different color from the first one. Where were all his clothes?

He looked around his room.

"Oh," he said, as he realized his clothes were draped over chairs; shoved under his bed, and awkwardly piled into what had probably once been a hamper but had since become a collapsed wreck of netting and wire after having too much piled on top of it.

There was one more drawer of possibilities. Well, technically there were two, but the bottom one had broken and it was too much effort to fix it, so he never put important things in there. He opened the third drawer. It had within...ONE uniform shirt and ONE pair of uniform trousers. Folded.It was truly a miracle. Kakashi offered up a quick prayer to the clothing gods.

It was really hard to get dressed while holding a towel to his face, but he managed. His hitai-ate was on his bedside table like always, but where was his vest? ...oh, it was on the floor. Figures.

this is the smallest size we've got. you're, uh, awfully young for a chuunin.

Now he was all ready to go. Except for his shoes. Which were hopefully right where he left them. Yeah. That was good. It was disturbing when stuff in your apartment got moved by someone other than you when you lived alone. (It happened to him a lot. Although he generally assumed it was because one of his friends carried him home when he was drunk and knocked something over accidentally or whatever. Some people thought ROOT was rummaging around their places, but he knew better: they would never be so careless as to not put things back where they were originally.)

we are not the trunk but that which holds it up

Before he left he glanced at the clock. 6:57. Not bad. He could meander around a while and go to the memorial stone before heading to the missions office or something...wait. He had a genin team now. Fuck. Well, he had time to do things before going to do whatever he was going to do with them. That bells thing was easy enough, he could do that, except did he even own any bells? Whatever, they couldn't be that expensive, he could buy them at a pet store or something. He really hoped they were more competent than they looked.