So, this is it. The last chapter of this story.

I wanted to thank you all, who took this journey with me and cared for these boys. Thank you for reading, reviewing, PM's, twitts, comments on Facebook – you are all awesome and you make this all worth trying!

This story wouldn't be up without all the comments from Im_not_a_lizard while she pre-read it and without all the hard work Fr333bird has done trying to make my English sound English :) Thank you bb's so much!

No pic for this chapter. But if you haven't had a chance to see the banner Buraczana has made, go and see it! She's captured all I wanted to show in this story: bit(dot)ly/vk1ZfS

XOXO

MD

16. The Sun

Jasper's not quite sure what he's doing as he stands outside a small red-brick Boston house. He's come to town two days ago, but couldn't gather up the courage to make the last step. He knows Edward is home. He can smell him and feel his familiar emotional pattern. In fact, when he knocks on a decorative deep-green door, trying to remember to breathe, he knows Edward is just there – on the other side of the door. Jasper can hear him shifting from one foot to another, placing a hand on the doorknob, waiting.

They stand like this in silence, both of them waiting for the other to make the move, both of them hesitating. Jasper thinks that maybe it was a bad idea after all – maybe he shouldn't have come here. He's about to turn around and flee when Edward opens the door, and there he is, gorgeous as ever – young, amber-eyed, with ruffled hair.

They eye each other, again not able to do anything.

"You look good," Edward finally says, taking in the sight of Jasper.

Jasper just smiles and motions to the clothes he's wearing.

"It's just an outfit." He waves his hand dismissively, feeling embarrassed all of a sudden and trying to cover it up somehow. "So…" He shifts his weight from one foot to another in a very human way as he looks around the hall. "Where are the others?"

"Carlisle's at the hospital; should be back soon. Esme went shopping with Emmett and Rose," Edward answers automatically and makes a move with his hand. "Would you, uh… come inside?"

"Sure." Jasper is still feeling uneasy as he follows Edward into a big living room. Everything here screams money and good taste – the light colored furniture, big windows, soft carpet on the floor, fancy gadgets and expensive electronics.

"Carlisle had a lot of time to gather the money… and the investments worked well," Edward explains, his tone apologetic, like he's ashamed of the surroundings, or like he feels he needs to make amends to Jasper.

"No, no. It's lovely here!" Jasper rushes to reassure him, remembering he has to guard his thoughts from Edward. Even in his fresh clothes and with his washed hair he still feels out of place here while he glances nervously towards a pristine white couch.

"Oh, come on!" Edward suddenly takes Jasper's hand and practically drags him to the couch to sit down. "It won't get spoiled because of contact with you, you know?"

Jasper has troubles answering because Edward is still holding his hand, and it brings back all the memories, all the times they've touched before, and something which Jasper believed he was over clenches in his chest. He turns his head to not look at Edward. The confused feelings Edward's emitting do nothing to bring more confidence in Jasper.

"So," Edward begins after the silence becomes too unbearable, "did you have trouble finding me?"

Jasper just shakes his head and takes some small pieces of paper out of his pocket, waving them to Edward.

"It really wasn't that hard – what with all those messages shouting 'Jasper' in capital letters attached to your old door…" He smiles, but then silence falls again, and Jasper wonders if he should go back to the hotel. But before he does, he at least wants to look at Edward as much as he can.

"You're staying at a hotel?" Edward asks, surprised.

"Yeah, can you believe it?" Jasper gives Edward a weak smile and stands up. Edward quickly follows, still not letting go of Jasper's hand. They both look down to where their fingers tangle.

"Let me show you around the house, okay?" Edward proposes, hopefully, and Jasper just has to agree. Edward pulls Jasper towards the kitchen, mumbling something excitedly about keeping up appearances, before showing him bathroom, study, and taking him up the stairs.

"Here's Esme's and Carlisle's bedroom, and here's Emmet's and Rose's." He mentions to the closed door. "And this is mine…"

They enter a large, well-lit room with a giant couch placed next to the window, and hundreds of CD's and books on the shelves around the room. Jasper's surprised. He's imagined something totally different. He loves it the way it is.

He spots a fish tank – filled with water and sand but without any fish inside, and looks questionably at Edward.

"Don't even ask…" Edward shrugs as he approaches the couch and throws on the floor some textbooks which were scattered along the couch cushions.

"I'm finally finishing my medical studies," he explains.

He makes Jasper sit down again and the position is somehow awkward. They sit closely, with their upper bodies bent towards each other, still holding hands. This is like they are a couple in an old movies. But Jasper isn't ready to let go of Edward's hand just yet. Although he probably should – before he asks the question he needs to pose, yet dreads spitting out.

"And your… girlfriend?" he finally dares to address the issue, not really knowing if he should say 'girlfriend' or 'fiancée', or maybe even 'wife'.

"What girlfriend?" Edward's clearly been taken by surprise, which means he had to be occupied with something else, or he would have seen the question in Jasper's mind. So Jasper shows him once more their last conversation so long ago, in the northern snow, about a girl whom Edward couldn't hear.

"Oh my God." Edward gasps. "You thought…? Bella, the girl whose thoughts are closed for me, she and I – we were never – you know? She's just a friend. She still lives there, she's married, has kids, we call each other sometimes. But we've never, ever, Jasper..."

"So all these years…?" Jasper whispers, while all he believed in during the last years gets twisted and thrown upside down.

"It was just something you assumed…" Edward says and pauses for a moment, musing over something. "Jasper, if you've thought I'd have a wife by now why would you come searching for me?"

Jasper's squirming. He doesn't want Edward to know the real reason, so he goes with, "I wanted to see if you were okay." But Edward has already picked the real answer from Jasper's thoughts.

An awful silence falls, and then, when Edward finally starts talking, there is so much hurt in his voice that it makes Jasper breathless.

"I'd never agree to that." Edward clutches Jasper's arm and twists the material of the shirt firmly. "Especially not when you've finally come back to me. Not when I have you in my arm's reach."

Suddenly Jasper feels he must get out of there immediately. He can't breathe. How could he been so stupid to think that he might be over Edward? Vampires are frozen forever in their feelings and desires, and while change on basic levels is possible, there is no way Jasper can make himself forget about Edward. Ever. He wants to run before Edward catches it, but once again Edward is quicker – he tugs on Jasper's hand, leans forward a little and says quietly, "Why would you think it's any different for me?"

Edward's so close that Jasper can almost feel the brush of his lips against his skin. It makes Jasper lightheaded, and all his thoughts are flowing so fast now he can't get a grip on himself. But just then someone opens the front door, and a worried voice shouts, "Edward, are you there?"

"In here!" Edward says loudly. He still hasn't shifted an inch, and Jasper feels trapped in the moment, not being able to move, breathe or think properly.

"Come, meet Carlisle," Edward finally says, standing up and letting go of Jasper's hand, immediately leaving him with a feeling of loss.

They come down the stairs to meet a young, blond man, standing in the hallway, looking anxious.

"Carlisle, this is Jasper," Edward explains, and a flash of recognition lights Carlisle's amber eyes.

"Nice to meet you, Jasper," he says, extending his hand.

"You too, sir," Jasper answers, going for a handshake and feeling like he's a teenager meeting his friend's dad.

Carlisle laughs warmly. "You can call me Carlisle." He turns to Edward. "Esme called – they'll be here in a minute."

And right in that moment a sweet looking young woman, dressed in a cream dress, and with perfectly styled caramel-colored hair, enters the house. She stops at the sight of all of them in the hallway.

"Esme," Carlisle says. "This is Jasper."

"Oh my God!" she exclaims, rushing to Jasper and wrapping her arms around him in a tight hug which startles Jasper so much he doesn't dare to move. "Welcome. I'm so happy you're okay. What took you so long? Where have you been? Where are you staying? I'm Esme."

Jasper smiles and goes for his, "Nice to meet you ma'am," because what else can he do.

"Oh, this is amazing!" Esme continues. "Edward's been worrying himself crazy about you." She turns towards the door, calling aloud, "Rose, Emmett! You won't believe who's here! It's Jasper!"

A beautiful blonde girl and the biggest vampire Jasper's ever seen emerge from the hall.

"Oh, thank fuck we stop those horrid search parties each year now," says the blonde.

"Search parties?" Jasper asks, feeling lost.

"He made us freeze our asses off in the ice and snow of the North each year. He even made us dig holes in that stinky frozen sea!"

Jasper raises his eyebrow's at Edward who just shrugs.

"Glad you're here, bro." The big one – Emmett – pats Jasper's shoulder. "I hope you'll bring some sanity to this brooding sicko because I swear if I hear one more time 'Do you think Jasper is okay?' or 'Why do you think he doesn't want to be found?' I'm gonna just kick his sorry ass straight back to the North."

"Let's just not overwhelm the boy with all this, all right?" Carlisle laughs, finally putting down the keys and envelopes he's been holding on a small table by the wall and entering the living room. "Can you excuse me while I take a shower to wash the hospital off me?"

Jasper says some 'not at alls' and smiles because this all feels like he's been dipped in a swirling bubble bath of warm emotions. He even closes his eyes for a brief moment, almost "tasting" the luxury of it all. When they're left alone in the hallway, Edward smiles at him.

"So," Jasper asks. "What's all this then, Edward?"

"Isn't it obvious? I've been to the North, you know? Every year, searching for you. I had no idea what happened to you."

"After Mat died I moved out from there. I was… travelling. I was in Texas for a while."

"Texas? The one place you thought you wouldn't ever go back to?" Edward is really surprised.

"Yeah. I wanted to… go home."

"And did it?"

"Did what?" Jasper has no idea what Edward is asking.

"Did it feel like home?"

Jasper is about to answer, that 'no, it didn't', but is interrupted by Edward continuing, "Because I've learned now – that no matter where we go as a Cullen family, or where we live, I've no home without you. It was always you, Jasper and it still is." Edward says it all so firmly, like he's trying to nail Jasper to the ground, tie him up and trap him with those words.

It all seems surreal. And Jasper wonders if he's losing his mind again. Because – this Edward – passionate and wanting Jasper, and this house, and this life – all of this – this can't be real.

"I need to go," Jasper says abruptly, feeling that if he doesn't go from here right now, he'll break into millions of pieces. He needs to be alone. He doesn't want to hear Edward anymore. He needs to get out right now.

"Jasper wait!" Edward pleads, catching Jasper's wrist. His fingers seem to burn like hot iron. "Please, Jasper, don't run like this."

"I'll come back tomorrow," Jasper says quickly. "It's late and I need to get back to the hotel."

Edward looks at him, clearly calling Jasper out on this sorry excuse, but at last he doesn't question him.

"Okay, go. But can you promise me you come back tomorrow?"

"I promise," Jasper says impatiently, not really believing it, and the next second he's out of the house, heading downtown to his hotel.

"***"
Fuck. He sits on the bed, clutching his hair and grunting. This is so not what he came here for. He came to ask for forgiveness and death, and he got offered life and family instead. This isn't what he's wanted. Or is it?

It's eating him from the inside out. He thinks of his and Edward's joined hands, and how it felt to be around Edward again, and groans. This is so not good. He wishes, for the first time in years since the north, that he could just hide under the water somewhere and forget about the feelings which Edward wakes up in him. But he's promised Edward he'd be at his place tomorrow.

He decides to draw himself a bath instead, because, that's what people do, right? He asks himself. They take a long warm bath to soothe their thoughts and think things over.

He goes to the bathroom and fills the tub with warm water, diving in. When it's full he slumps down, underneath the surface, looking at the brightly lit ceiling above him. He hears water running, voices from other rooms, the TV he's turned on and left playing, people flushing toilets, and the clicking sound of heels outside on the pavement. This is kind of the opposite of the sensory deprivation he's yearned for, but, oddly, the whole mixture of sounds does soothe him. He pushes himself up, and places his head on the rim of the tub, taking a deep breath and closing his eyes, enjoying the warmth around his skin and the fresh clean smell of this bathroom.

So, he tries to think, what is Edward saying? What does it mean it was always only him for Edward, that it still is? Is he ready to allow it? Can they actually try to do this again?

There's a knock on the door and Jasper jumps out of the bath to open it, still dripping water, and covered only in a towel because he knows only too well who's behind the door.

"I couldn't wait," Edward says when he enters the room. "I know I should give you time. I'm sorry."

When Jasper doesn't answer, because he's still confused, and doesn't know what to do or what he wants, Edward crosses the distance between them, wraps his arms around Jasper and holds him tight. The feeling of being hugged like this by Edward is familiar, and sweet – it's something Jasper's been missing for so long. It feels like desire and home, and something more. It's like their nights together when they were pretending to sleep.

"Oh God, I've missed you so much," Edward says. "I'm so sorry."

"What are you sorry for?" Jasper asks, still a little hazy from all the closeness.

"For leaving you like I did. For not looking enough for you. For being stupid and not searching for you in Texas. For the lost time. For not being enough for you back then."

Once again they are standing in front of each other and their fingers twitch with the desire to touch, to just reach over for the other's body. Finally Edward places his palm gently on Jasper's arm, tracing the scars with his thumb – the old ones from the wars and the newer ones he's left there himself. Jasper feels himself being led gently backwards, and then his knees hit the edge of the bed. Edward pushes him more until Jasper is lying on the bed, looking up at Edward who crawls on the bed after him.

Edward takes Jasper's hand in both his and kisses the insides of Jasper's palm, then along the arm, in the bend of the elbow, the armpit, then he goes lower, leaving kisses on his stomach, the inner side of his thighs, his feet. The kisses are gentle, worshipping, warm. It feels like re-acquaintance, but also goodbye, and for a moment Jasper wonders if Edward maybe decided to fill his request. But Edward shakes his head and pulls himself up so he's face to face with Jasper. He places his hands on both sides of Jasper's head, threading his fingers in Jasper's hair.

"I wouldn't do this," he says. "You can't ask me to do this. Not now, and not ever."

They look at each other and Jasper opens his mouth, but doesn't know what to say, so he just brushes his lips against Edward's. They breathe in each other, with lips parted, barely touching, and neither of them knows how it turns into kissing. But here they are – making out like teenagers, going from gentle kisses into shoving their tongues deep, biting on the other's lips, trying devour each other.

"Off, off!" Jasper murmurs, tugging at Edward's clothes because he has to feel him with his whole body immediately. They resume their kissing, sucking on their tongues and whispering urgent, almost unintelligible demands in between the kisses.

Jasper can feel their erections rubbing against each other and it's almost too much, but then – it isn't enough – it was never enough like this with them. Then Edward moves his fingers between their lips, pushing the fingertips along their tongues, pressing them inside Jasper's mouth, making Jasper suck on them, and coat them with venom until they are shiny and slick with it. Then he reaches down, and Jasper's surprised to see that Edward is preparing himself for him. It's mesmerizing to see the fingers vanishing in Edward's tight body, to hear the low grunts he's emitting, to feel Edward's lips part under Jasper's in anticipation.

Jasper rolls Edward gently so they are on their sides, spooning, and replaces Edward's fingers with his own. He can't believe that in the state of mind he's in right now he can still go as slow and careful as he does. He'd swear that by now he would be pressing Edward to the bed and fucking him senseless with urgent thrusts. But that is not what this is about, he thinks. This is the peace that he's yearned for, the solace he's come for, he realizes, as he slips inside Edward's familiar body, welcoming him like after long journey.

For a while it's only that – their hips moving in synchronization together, Edward's hand going around their bodies and stroking Jasper's hip first and then going up and caressing his hair while Edward turns his head and they kiss slowly. Jasper holds Edward's throat – it's just a gentle touch, but he can feel Edward's Adam's apple moving under his fingers and it's kind of possessive. He would like to squeeze his hand, hold Edward captive, mark him with his teeth and fingers. He would love to see Edward bleed venom. But for now he settles on that soft brush of his fingertips there, knowing Edward can see it in his mind and that is almost as good as doing it in reality. Edward moans in agreement and takes Jasper's other hand to guide it to his cock, forces him to fist it, to make Jasper give him the release he needs now.

It takes just a few strokes – their fingers laced hard together, moving easily over Edward's cock, already slick with precum, before Edward tenses up, his mouth hot against Jasper's, his eyes opened and full of longing. Jasper can feel Edward clenching on him, and the wave of desire coming from Edward is enough for him, too. He doesn't close his eyes either, he wants to see, feel, taste it, take it with him wherever he'll have to go once they're done.

"***"

They hear muffled sounds of cries and sighs from other rooms – apparently their neighbors are having sex and coming, affected by Jasper's emotions swirling all over the place. They look at each other and start laughing.

"Oh God, Jasper, if we ever do this in the house the whole family will be doing it. I can't even think about it without cringing." Edward chuckles and suddenly becomes very silent and still, as what he's said dawns on him. "We don't have to live with them," he adds quickly. "I'll go with you anywhere you want. That is… if you want me to… God, this is fucked up. What I'm trying to say is that I'll do anything you want, Jasper."

Jasper doesn't know yet where he would like to go. He doesn't even know if he wants to try to be together with Edward, again. But as he lies in Edward's arms he thinks that maybe it isn't such a bad idea, after all. And then he thinks that maybe he's been wrong all along. Maybe Edward is his mate and all this time he's been denying the obvious. Because how else could he explain that he feels so right, and so loved in Edward's arms? How can he imagine ever leaving them again?

"Fucking finally," Edward murmurs in his ear.

"Finally what?"

"You've finally admitted we might be mates. You always thought we weren't. You were so sure… You had me convinced, too."

Jasper says nothing to this. He was convinced. He felt from others he's met what mates should be like and it was nothing like what he's had with Edward. But he's not sure anymore. He doesn't know anything anymore. He can't explain what he feels right now, and he doesn't know how to say it. So instead he focuses on showing Edward how his hair feels like soft Texan grass underneath Jasper's fingers, or how his eyes are the color of summer evenings in the fields – where everything is amber and the air floats like hot caramel. And then he focuses on how the Texan heat is nothing in comparison to the warmth here – right now. He clutches his fingers tighter on Edward's arm.

And then Edward pulls him closer, and Jasper feels like the last pieces of him that were frozen melt, too.

The end