A/N: Set in the S3 drowning arc :) xxx
life is beautiful
we love until we die
~x~
"Hey" Alex said as he leaned up against the doorway of his Jane Doe's room.
"Hey" Addison said with a small smile "So, Meredith's ok?"
"Yeah" Alex breathed "She's really good, her temps still quite low and her ribs are pretty sore but other than that, she'll be fine, how's this one doing?" he said moving closer to the bed.
"She's good, they're both good, stable"
"Good" Alex sighed "She's still unclaimed, and I really, if she doesn't remember who she is…"
"I know" Addison said sadly "Well, my shift finished an hour ago"
"Mine too" Alex said with a small smirk "How about we, go and get a drink, you look like you could use one"
"Yeah" Addison said with a slight laugh "Well I need to change and everything so, meet me at Joe's in say, half an hour?"
"Sure" Alex smiled "I'll see you there then"
"Yeah, see you there" Addison smiled back.
~x~
"Hey" Addison said slipping onto the seat in front of Alex in the back booth at Joe's.
"Hey" Alex said softly "Martini" he said pushing her drink towards her.
"Thank you" she smiled as she accepted it "How did you know?"
"Well I knew you needed something happy, so I talked to Joe and he said your happy drink is a Martini"
"Wow" Addison said with a slight laugh "Well he was right" she said taking a sip.
"This has been, one hell of a day" Alex sighed.
"Yeah" Addison said sadly "I can't believe it, I mean, all those people, I can't believe it"
"I know" Alex said with a slight whisper.
"It'll stick with you, today, it'll be one of those days that sticks with you forever, mine, mine's September 11th"
"Oh right" Alex nodded "You were still in New York"
"Yeah" Addison sighed "I was working at Mount Sinai, so we were about 20 minutes away from the site, I've never seen the place so busy, it was, horrible"
"I bet" Alex said sadly.
"Ugh, let's stop talking about this" Addison said sitting up a little.
"Yeah" Alex said sipping his beer.
"Thank you" Addison said quietly.
"What for?" Alex frowned.
"For what you said, about, noticing if I went missing, I just, thank you, you didn't have to say that"
"Of course I had to say it Addison" he said holding her hand from across the table "It's the truth, sometimes if, if I haven't seen you all day, I start to get, worried, I don't know why I just, I do, and when I do see you, I instantly feel better, and today, when you said that, it really made me regret not telling you before, that if I ever lost you, I don't know how I'd get through it"
"Alex?" Addison said shakily.
"I should never have told you I didn't want you" he said softly "Because it's the biggest lie I've ever told"
"Don't, don't do this" Addison whispered "Don't say something you don't mean Alex, please"
"Addison, look at me" Alex said firmly "Look me in the eye" Addison looked up at him, their eyes connected, hers slightly tearing up, their hands still joined in the middle of the table "I freaked out, after you kissed me, and then avoided me, I freaked out, because the way I feel when I'm with you, I've never felt this way before, and if, if you in any way want me, then I want us to take the chance, to be together, I really think we could, be something"
"I'm not looking for a fling, I don't want to be another notch on your bed post, I want a relationship, something that's going somewhere, so if you don't want that then I'm, I'm not your girl, ok?"
"Addison" he said softly "I want that, but I only want it with you, so if you're in, I'm in"
"Can you come back to the hotel with me tonight?" Addison asked quietly "Just, just to sleep, I really don't want to be alone tonight"
"Of course I will" Alex said rubbing circles against her palm.
"Ok" Addison said quietly "Thank you"
"Don't thank me, just let me be there" Alex said softly, Addison reached across the table and kissed him softly.
~x~
"Well here it is, home sweet hotel" Addison said with a slight laugh as she led Alex into the room.
"How do you still live here?" Alex asked as they both took off their coats and shoes.
"I just, can't bring myself to buy anything, and if I live here I have people to cook and clean, and I'm not good at either of those things" she said with a slight laugh.
"You have a point" Alex smirked, he sat on the edge of the bed and watched as Addison moved around the room with ease, she moved to the dresser and wiped her face free of make up with some make up wipes, he stood and walked up behind her, his hands coming to her shoulders, massaging them slowly.
"Hmm" she sighed "You're good at that"
"You're really tense" he said reaching down and kissing her neck "Relax Addie"
"Just keep doing that" she said with a slight laugh.
"How about I give you a proper massage?" he asked quietly "Have you got any lotion or anything?"
"There's some in the bathroom" she said with a slight hum as he put pressure on a particularly tense spot.
"Well, how about you lie down, and I'll go and get the lotion"
"Ok" Addison smiled, she stood up and kissed him softly, he moved into the bathroom as Addison slowly started to strip down to her underwear, she lay face down on the covers and let out a content sigh, Alex returned to the room, he took off his jeans and climbed onto the bed kneeling next to her, he trailed kisses along her shoulders softly, he slowly pushed the straps of her bra down, she lifted herself a little as he unclipped the clasp, she took of the bra and tossed it off the bed before lying back down, Alex squirted some lotion into his hands and started to slowly rub it into her skin.
"How does it feel?" he asked quietly.
"Hmm, so good" Addison said with a sigh.
"God Addie you are so beautiful" Alex said with a slight whisper.
"Really?" she asked innocently.
"Of course you are" he said softly "How could you even question that?"
"It's just, been a long time since someone's called me beautiful" she said quietly.
"Well you are, you're the most beautiful woman I've ever seen, your hair and your eyes and your smile, your body, god your body, this skin, your waist and your hips and your legs" he said moving his hands down her body "You are so perfect"
"Alex" Addison whispered "Stop it"
"Stop what?" he asked softly.
"Stop saying these perfect things, please"
"You don't believe me do you" he said sitting back a little, Addison rolled onto her back and sat up, holding a pillow to her chest "Addison tell me you believe me"
"The last time someone told me I was beautiful was when I was in New York, it was mine and Derek's 11th anniversary, I'd booked a table at our favourite restaurant, got dressed up, did my hair and make up, sat at the bottom of the stairs and waited for him to come home, Mark walked through the front door an hour later and told me Derek wasn't coming home again, we ordered pizza and the delivery guy, said I looked beautiful, that was the last time" she said sadly.
"God he really screwed you up didn't he" he said stroking her cheek a little.
"Pretty much" she said with a slight laugh "If you want to leave I'll, I'll understand"
"I'm not going anywhere" Alex said firmly "You are beautiful, inside and out, you deserve so much more than how he treated you, I don't know how anyone could become distant when they had you to come home to every day"
"You're doing it again" she said moving off the bed and slipping on the dressing gown that was draped over the back of the dressing table chair "Please stop it"
"No" Alex said with a laugh "No I'm not going to stop, if I want to tell you you're the most beautiful person I know I will, if I want to tell you I'd notice if you went missing, I will, if I want to tell you that I've been falling in love with you for months, then I will!" he exclaimed.
"You're what?" she gasped.
"I'm falling in love with you" he said softly as he stood in front of her, his hands cupping her face "I'm falling in love with you, and I'm not going to forget that because you're feeling insecure about yourself, you have no reason to be insecure, ok?"
"He didn't love me like he loves her, I watched him sit with her before I left the hospital, all he was doing was sitting there with her and the look on his face, the way he looked at her, he never looked at me like that, and I feel like, I feel like my whole adult life has been a lie, I've wasted all this time with someone who never really loved me, and was just settling, I don't want to be that person again, I don't want you to suddenly realize one day that I'm not who you want, I'm just the person you're settling for until you meet the one, I'm not saying I want you to, declare your love for me, that's not what I'm saying, all I'm saying is, I don't want to be the girl the guy settles for, I want to be the girl"
"I want you to be my girl" Alex said kissing her softly.
"Even though I'm crazy, neurotic and insecure?" she asked with a small smirk.
"Yeah, even though" Alex said with a laugh "Want me to massage you some more?"
"No" she said as she hugged him, her face burying into his chest "Just hold me"
"Ok" he whispered against her hair, he pulled back the covers on the bed and climbed in.
"Take off your shirt" she ordered.
"What?" he asked with a slight laugh.
"Take off your shirt" she repeated, Alex looked at her skeptically and took off his t-shirt, she took it from him, turned around, took off her dressing gown and slipped on the shirt before climbing into the bed next to him and snuggling into his arms "Night" she whispered against his bare chest, her finger tracing the skin softly.
"Night" he smiled kissing the top of her head.
~x~
Addison stirred slowly the next morning, her eyes fluttering open tiredly, she instantly knew the space next to her was empty, she rubbed her eyes a little and smiled softly as she spotted Alex accepting a tray of breakfast from room service.
"Good morning" he smiled as the door closed behind him "I figured since we didn't eat last night you'd be hungry, I asked what you usually have so we've got coffee and orange juice, poached eggs on toast with crispy bacon on the side, and a bowl of fresh fruit"
"Well, thank you" she said with a smile "I'm starving"
"Me too" Alex said with a slight laugh, they sat down together and ate their breakfast, once they were finished Alex put their plates outside the door on the tray, when he turned around Addison was stood looking at him from the doorway of the bathroom.
"You ok?" he asked.
"Take a shower with me" she said quietly.
"Really?" he asked as he moved closer to her, she slipped her fingers into the waist band of her panties and pushed them to the floor.
"It's just a shower, nothing more, nothing less" she said with a small smile, she slowly lifted his t-shirt over her head and dropped it to the floor, she moved into the bathroom and started the shower, stepping in when the water was warm enough, the water cascading down her body, steam filling the room, Alex stripped off his clothes in the bedroom and moved into the bathroom, he pulled back the shower screen and stepped in behind Addison, closing the screen slowly, she turned to him with a smile, their lips coming together as the water hit them.
"Hey" he smiled, brushing droplets of water from her face.
"Hey" she smiled back "You know I'm falling in love with you too right?"
"Well I do now" he said softly "Want me to wash your back?"
"Yes, please" Addison said passing him the soap.
~x~
"What's wrong?" Alex asked quietly as himself and Addison stepped into the elevator, he wrapped his arms around her so they faced each other, hers coming up and around his neck.
"Nothing" she said softly, reaching up and kissing him slowly "We didn't get paged, that's a good thing, means our Jane Doe's still stable"
"Good" Alex smiled, he reached up and stroked Addison's cheek softly before connecting their lips again, the elevator doors pinged open 2 floors below Addison's and Callie and George stepped in.
"Oh, my god" Callie said with a slight laugh "I am so good"
"Shut up" Addison said hitting her hard on the arm.
"I didn't say a thing" Callie smirked.
"You and...seriously?" George muttered to Alex.
"Oh like you're not punching above your weight" Alex muttered back.
"Point taken" George whispered.
"Oh god" Addison groaned as the elevator doors opened again and Mark was stood behind them.
"Well, this is new" he smirked as he stepped in "Karev" he said with a slight surprise "Seriously?" he muttered to Addison.
"Yes! Yes ok!" Addison exclaimed "Me and Alex are together, as of yesterday we're together ok? Now can we all move on!"
"Ok ok" Mark said with a slight laugh "Jeez Addie relax"
"I swear to god one day I will kill you Mark Sloan" Addison hissed.
"Adds, calm down" Alex said kissing her softly.
"Hmm, do that again" Addison whispered leaning back in to kiss him, as their lips stayed together the elevator stopped for the 3rd time.
"Addison Forbes Montgomery what the hell are you doing with Karev?" the Chief exclaimed as he stepped in.
"Oh for the love of….I really need to move out of this hotel" Addison groaned, she took once glance at Callie and started to hit her as she laughed "Shut up!"
"Oh god I'm sorry" Callie breathed "But only you"
"Shut up" Addison mumbled with a slight blush "And don't you start" she glared to Alex who was biting his lip a little to stop a laugh.
"I didn't say anything!" he exclaimed with a slight laugh.
"So, do I get an explanation?" the Chief asked firmly.
"Well…." Addison started.
"Wait, let me" Alex said squeezing her hand a little "We didn't see this coming, just like you didn't, but we're together, and as far as I'm concerned, it's staying that way"
"Wow, someone's confident" Mark snorted.
"Shut up" Addison said hitting him "He's right ok? We didn't really see this coming"
"I did" Callie smirked.
"Well we didn't" Addison smirked back "And as far as we're concerned, this is how it's staying, and you're all just going to have to get over it, ok?"
"I will hurt you if you hurt her" the Chief glared.
"Richard" Addison said with a slight laugh.
"I'm not going to hurt her" Alex said kissing Addison's hand a little "So, we're all, ok?"
"I guess" Mark grumbled.
"Ok then" Addison smiled pulling Alex with her as they stepped out of the elevator.
"Well, that was awkward" Alex muttered into her ear.
"You're still in this right?" she asked with a small smirk.
"Always" he whispered kissing her softly.
~x~
"Hey" Alex said walking into Meredith's hotel room, Izzie and Cristina sat around the bed "How you feeling?"
"Sore, and still a little cold" Meredith said with a small smile "Hey, I heard you saved some pregnant girl, that's great Alex"
"Yeah well" Alex shrugged "They're doing well, still stable, but there's a long way to go, she's got no memory whatsoever, it's all gone, and it's not like we can really find her family because her face is, it's not good, it's going to be a long one"
"You gonna see it through then?" Izzie asked.
"As much as I can" Alex said with a small smile "I heard you drilled some holes in a guys head"
"I was, a rock star" Izzie said with a grin.
"Right" Alex said with a laugh.
"Hey" George smiled walking into the room.
"Hey" Meredith smiled.
"So, did Alex tell you he's dating Dr Montgomery yet?" George blurted.
"O'Malley" Alex glared.
"What?" everyone else said with a laugh.
"Yes ok" Alex sighed "Me and Addison, we're a thing, we've been flirting around each other for months and yesterday was, a day y'know? So we talked and we're a thing, we're, together"
"We ended up in the same elevator as the Chief and Sloan this morning in the hotel" George smirked.
"Shut up" Alex groaned.
"Oh sucks to be you" Cristina said with a laugh.
"Since when do you like Addison?" Meredith asked with a raised eyebrow "And how do we not know you like her?"
"Since when do I like her? I don't know, a couple of months maybe" Alex shrugged "We may have almost kissed in front of Laura Grey, and we kind of kissed at Joe's not long after, I don't actually know how that never got out because, I mean everyone knows everything here but, it didn't, and then she kind of avoided me for a week, so I told her I wasn't interested which was a load of bullshit, and yesterday just made me think y'know, and I didn't talk to you about it because, well I'm not a chick" he shrugged.
"Hey" Derek said walking into the room "And how is my favourite patient?" he asked kissing Meredith softly.
"I'm good" she smiled.
"Karev" Addison said popping her head in to the room "Can you get hourly labs on our Jane Doe? I want to make sure she hasn't picked up any infections, fetal heartbeat looks strong but I want it checked as often as possible, ok?"
"Ok" he smiled.
"Whoa, did Karev just take your orders without any back chat, did someone put something in your coffee this morning?" Derek smirked "What?" he said when everyone seemed to shift awkwardly "Am I missing something?"
"So Meredith" Addison started "How are you feeling?"
"I'm good" Meredith smiled "Thank you"
"No seriously" said Derek "What am I missing?"
"It's not like it's a secret after this morning" Alex muttered to Addison who looked a little hesitant.
"Fine" Addison sighed, stepping further into the room, her hand finding Alex's "We're, together now, ok? So just, say it, whatever you have to say, any smart ass comments you have, just, go for it"
"Does he, make you happy?" Derek asked quietly
"Yeah" Addison said with a small smile "He does" she said squeezing Alex's hand.
"Well alright then" he nodded.
"That's it, really?" Cristina muttered.
"Uh, yeah" Derek smiled "Why?"
"Nothing" Addison said quickly "No reason, well, I've gotta get going, labs please" she said patting Alex's chest a little.
"I'm on it" Alex smiled "Bye" he whispered kissing her softly.
"Bye" she smiled before leaving.
"Oh god look at you" Izzie laughed "You really like her don't you"
"Well, yeah" Alex said with a small smile "I better go do the labs, I'll see you later, feel better Mer"
"I will" Meredith smiled "Have a good day" Alex nodded a little and left.
~x~
"I think there's something you need to tell me" Bailey said appearing in the doorway of the attendings lounge where Addison sat eating her lunch.
"Erm…" Addison started "What?" she stuttered.
"Alex Karev" Bailey said simply.
"Oh" Addison said quietly.
"Yeah, oh" Bailey smirked walking further into the room and sitting on the sofa next to her "You know I hate talking about everyone's personal lives but for the next 10 minutes I'm not your colleague I'm your friend, so, you need to tell me what's going on ok?"
"I don't know how it happened" Addison said with a slight laugh "I just, started to fall for him, a couple of months ago we kissed but, I freaked out and avoided him and, he said he didn't want me, which was, a lie apparently" she said quietly "And yesterday, after everything that happened, we went out for a drink just to, try and forget, and he told me he did feel something for me, so, we decided to, give it a try, I'm, I'm really falling for him Miranda" she said softly "He's not the cocky intern guy he used to be, he's, kind and sweet and caring and, he knows what to say to me to make me feel better, just being with him makes me feel better"
"You haven't slept with him yet have you?" Bailey asked bluntly.
"Miranda!" Addison blushed.
"I just don't want you rushing into it because you want sex, I know what you're like Addison Montgomery, you called Sloan in for a booty call remember?"
Addison groaned a little "No, I have not slept with Alex yet, well, he gave me a massage last night because I was all tense and he stayed over, and then, we had a shower together this morning but, there was, no sex" she said quietly "I mean, I know that's not exactly taking it slow but, we didn't have sex and that's something right?"
"Mmhmm" Bailey smirked "Well, I guess all I can say is, no special treatment, he's just like every other intern, and, if he doesn't make you happy, if he screws up in any way, I'll hurt him"
"Ok" Addison said with a slight laugh "Are you going back to professional Bailey now?"
"Of course" Bailey nodded "Stupid attendings sleeping with my interns" she mumbled walking out of the room, Addison laughed a little and took another bite of her salad.
~x~
1 month later.
"Addie?" Alex called out as he let himself into her hotel room with the spare keycard she'd given him.
"One minute" Addison called back from the bathroom, Alex put his bag and jacket on the dressing table chair, he kicked off his shoes and socks and took a beer from the mini-bar, taking a sip and putting it on the bedside table, he looked up as the bathroom door opened and choked a little, she stood in the doorway in black lingerie, her hair framing her face softly.
"Alex?" she said with a small smile "You in there?"
"Wha..um….uh….yeah" Alex nodded "Yeah you just look, wow, beautiful"
"Thank you" Addison smiled, she took slow steps towards him and lifted his shirt over his head before bring their lips together, she popped the button on his jeans and pulled the zip down.
"Addison" Alex breathed.
"I want you" Addison said kissing his jawline, she pushed his jeans off his hips, Alex stepped out of them and brought his hands around her body, one on the small of her back, the other up into her hair, they slowly started to move back towards the bed, Addison lay down on the bed, Alex climbed on top of her and kissed her again.
"You have been very patient" Addison whispered against his mouth "Thank you for waiting"
"You don't have to thank me babe" Alex said softly "I love you"
"I love you too" Addison replied with a soft whisper, Alex kissed her again, this time not even stopping for air.
The End.