Chapter 3 - Can't Stand It (Posted 22 December 2011)

"I can't do this." Harvey said, running a hand through his hair.

"The coffee isn't that bad, Harvey." Mike returned.

"That's not what I mean, Mike."

Mike sighed. "I know."

"I'm sorry..."

"It's okay."

"No," Harvey shook his head. "It's not okay." He reached his hands across the table and covered Mike's with them. "I love you. I really do, I don't deny it or hide it..."

"I know, Harvey." Mike assure him. "I told you, you can have all the time you need."

"But I don't want time. What I want is to... to be able to be with you without being so confused. I don't know what to do. I can't stand it, not being close like we were, but I just don't know how to deal with feeling this strongly..."

"Maybe if you just talk to me about it." Mike offered.

"I don't know..."

"For the record, I love you too."

Harvey nodded. "I know. What I don't know is why it's so hard to just be in love with you."

"I think you just have to let yourself embrace these feelings, Harvey. I know you acknowledge them, but maybe you just haven't come to terms with the fact that you actually do care about someone. I understand that this is hard for you. And I'm not going to give up on you. I'll always be here for you."

"Thank you."

"See, like that." Mike smiled. "You're always so sincere with me. I can't tell you how much I appreciate that."

"I wouldn't be anything other than sincere with you."

"That's one of the things I love about you. So, do you want to talk about anything?"

Harvey pursed his lips together in thought. Then he nodded. "Yeah. But not here. Let's go back to my place?"

"Okay." Mike smiled.

X

Once they were inside Harvey's condo it was impossible not to fall, at least partially, into their old routine. Harvey pulled Mike close, but instead of kissing him he just held him, feeling their bodies pressed together.

"I've always liked it when you hold me like this." Mike purred.

"I've always liked holding you."

Mike pulled away, smiled, then bit his lip. He wanted more than anything to kiss Harvey like he had on so many previous nights. But he didn't know how fast harvey wanted to go right now. So he settled for pecking him on the cheek.

Anyone else would have missed it, but the corners of Harvey's mouth definitely tugged up at that. He let his arms fall from around Mike and grabbed his hand, pulling him toward the living room. "What did we talk about on our first date?"

Mike laughed. "I don't remember a lot of talking going on that night."

"That doesn't count." Harvey said, looking amused. "I mean our first real date. That night I took you out to see that awful movie."

"That was pretty awful. But I still had a nice time."

Harvey nodded. "Me too."

"After the movie, we came back here and I told you about my childhood." Mike reminded him. "And then you told me about yours."

"We didn't have sex that night." Harvey recalled.

"No," Mike blushed, "we didn't. We fell asleep on your sofa with the radio on."

"And then we had sex in the morning." Harvey smirked.

"Yeah. It was the best first date I've ever had."

"Me too."

"You're just saying that."

"We both know that's ridiculous."

Mike smiled. "Wanna recreate that night? You know, maybe sans the morning part?"

Harvey considered it and nodded, gently drawing Mike against him and laying back. "We'll see what happens when we get there."

"Sounds good to me."