Chapter Seven

"They're both alike that way too," Frank said coming to stand next to Harm. "One false move, if it's the right one and you are in the doghouse. Me, I tried to sell Dee's motorcycle. I paid for that one...oh did I pay for that one...Let's get some coffee, let the ladies talk okay?"

Harm walked with Frank as he passed the door he looked inside. Mac was sitting with her back to the door with Molly on her lap and Denise and her playing with the baby. Denise looked up at Harm with sadness in her eyes, Harm felt it.

He sat down next to Frank, "I don't' like Sarah to be around this kind of thing. She gets herself upset, she cried...it rips her apart. She fights like hell to hide it."

"When she got here she was fine. She was good when Dee gave birth. She even stayed last night here with Dee while I took little bit home for the night. The only time I saw her sad is when I asked where you were."

"So I'm a piece of crap right? I'm a bad husband because I have feelings too?" Harm said. He let his guard down with this man, he trusted him. "Seeing her with a baby in her arms, a child even, hurts. I want it so badly and I want it with her or not at all."

"We've been through four invitro cycles with no luck. After everyone we wait and hope, then she gets her period and cries for days. The doctor says only two more tries and we're done. I suggested a surrogate but she wants to be pregnant to carry a child. That is as important to her as being a mother. I'm exhausted of the whole process and its taking a toll on her."

Frank nodded, "Denise and I tried four years after Jeremy. They told us it wasn't possible but she wanted it so badly. We tried and tried. I was enlisted. We were kids ourselves. We didn't have the money for things like that. I'll talk to Denise...I'll talk to her, maybe she can talk Mac into a surrogate." Harm nodded.

Frank pointed at Harm, "Now what are you going to do about Sarah? You really hurt her by not coming with her."

"But I'm here now aren't I? She walked away from me." He flipped his hands "I have no idea what to do now."

"Go to her, make her listen to you. She's a marine, but that shell is just that...she's all Denise inside. She's all Denise. Want me to show you how easy it is?"

Harm surprised him and nodded. The two men walked back and Frank approached Mac. He squeezed her shoulder, "All better. How you doing? Getting tired being up all night?"

Just those little things, how he took charge but didn't order...Harm watched then stepped up. 'Let's go back to the house get you a little rest, we can bring Frank and Denise some fresh clothes."

Mac kissed Denise, Molly and Frank. She caressed the baby's head and walked out with Harm. They drove to the Sherwood's in silence and entered the house the same way.

"Mac...it wasn't you," he whispered as they stepped into the house. "It was me...I didn't want to see that baby girl be born and have it not be from our love...it hurts me too Mac, I don't say it but it does." He turned his back so she didn't see, then he remembered Frank's advice and turned around.

"I know how much you hurt. I felt it too, every time you got your period. I have high hopes when you get your shots then you have to get your eggs harvested, more pain and agony. Then the eggs are fertilized and another procedure to inseminate you. Another 4 weeks to wait hoping and praying. I watch you look at other pregnant women and babies on the street. I see the longing go across your face. Now your sister had a baby and here you are right in the middle of everything. I'm happy for Denise and Frank I really am, but I grieve for us. I just want to stop for a while and get married. If it hasn't happened by now it might never happen and we need to accept it."

She nodded, "Yes...yes we do..." She closed the gap between the two of them and reached up for him. He had her flush against him in a second..."I want to love you to love you, Sarah," he whispered. Her only reply was a breathy yes as she let herself be swept up into his arms.

She nodded, "Yes...yes we do..." She closed the gap between the two of them and reached up for him. He had her flush against him in a second..."I want to love you to love you, Sarah," he whispered. Her only reply was a breathy yes as she let herself be swept up into his arms

It was 0830 when Frank came home with Molly asleep in his arms. The house was dark and quiet. He put Molly in her bed and stealthily looked into their bedroom and saw Mac and Harm asleep in his bed. He turned and went into the kitchen to fix himself something to drink. "Guess I'll be sleeping on the couch tonight."

He laughed and poured himself a Scotch. Dee would be coming home tomorrow. He was stressed about that especially about the "group" descending on them. It hurt him to see Roxy because like it or not she reminded him of his son, Trevor reminded him of his son and she reminded him of Trevor...He ached...the pain was worse each time, soon he'd break and not be able to stand again.

He stood and looked at Jeremy's picture on the wall over his flag. How he missed his son. He needed to realize that Trevor LeBlanc wasn't his son and would never be. That wife of his had or probably would derail his career, and he had to back away before his career was tanked as well.

Frank laid down on the sofa, only a minute later Frank heard Molly's door open and she came outside. "Daddy I can't sleep. I scared."

Frank lifted her up. "Of what peanut?"

She shrugged. "Don't like the new baby, Mommy doesn't love me anymore."

Frank lifted her onto his lap, "Princess Mommy loves you very much. The new baby is your little sister. Mommy and I will need your help with Laura. Molly you are always our little princess. Now lay your head down and go to sleep." Molly laid her head on his shoulder and eventually fell asleep in her father's arms.

He rocked her and looked up at Jeremy, "I'm sorry baby. I'm sorry I never did this for you. I'm so sorry I screwed up so bad and...You paid the price."

Back in the bedroom Harm and Mac were talking in low tones, "Watching Frank is like seeing myself," Harm said. "It's like...the other side of what I went through all those years searching for my father..." Mac nodded, "He's suffering so much and that is hurting my sister. I wish we could help them in some way. It's been a long time but still..." She played with his hair and they cuddled.

Frank woke up at 0600 and took a shower in the spare bathroom and dressed in his running sweats. Harm walked into the kitchen at 0700 and saw Frank reading the paper at the table. "Sorry we hijacked your bed last night."

Frank looked over his reading glasses at him, No problem coffee's made help yourself. Did you two work it out?"

Harm shrugged his shoulders, "We talked it out, only time will tell."

"Good, good," Frank replied. "Molly is uh...having a hard time with the baby. Do you think maybe you and Sarah could keep an eye on Laura for an hour so Dee and I can take her to McDonald's and give her a little special attention?"

"Sure we'll sit with Laura. When are they coming home?" Frank took off his glasses "I'll pick her and the baby up in about 2 hours. Can Molly stay here until we come home?"

"'Sure Mac would love that."

"Do me a favor...ward off the masses coming to throw her welcome home parties? The Holdens and the Burtons that's it all right?"

Harm nodded then..."Frank, you can't stand in the way of their group, that's how they survive. If Denise is anything like Mac inside, she'll keep quiet but it'll build up."

The group didn't show up that day but did the next day, and Mac answered the door. "Ah sure come in Denise is in the kitchen."

Mac walked into the kitchen "Denise you have company."

She sighed, "Just what I need after giving birth and being up all night with a fussy baby...Okay, give me a minute." Denise found that since she's connected with Mac, she had less and less desire and patience to spend time with her other friends. She forced a smile and played the role though letting each person hold Laura. Molly sat in the background again feeling ignored.

Mac noticed the sullen little girl and sat next to her. "Hey baby you look sad."

"Nobody wants to see me just baby Laura."

Mac smiled "Well I'm here." She lifted the little girl on to her lap and cuddled her. She whispered softly, "There's a part of me in you little girl", she kissed her head and watched the others.

"I know...Mommy didn't want me anymore so I couldn't get her blood," Molly told Mac nuzzling on her like she usually did to Denise. "Love the baby more then too."

It was then Mac realized this wasn't just a jealous three year old, this child really hurt inside. She knew her sister loved her and Frank worshipped her...she'd mention it later. "You feeling okay honey bunch?" Molly shook her head. "Wanna rock." Mac scooped her up and took her to the bedroom, "Okay, we'll sit here and rock. We'll sit right here and rock."

As Mac rocked her, Molly put her thumb in her mouth. Mac felt bad that Molly felt replaced. "You know Molly mommy loves you and if she could she would have given you her blood. Since I'm mommy's sister I could. "

Molly took her thumb out, "Didn't cause the baby needed it."

Molly was a smart little girl, she was quiet and pondered life...she just pondered it wrong.

Mac sighed, "No honey..." She started to cry though, he wanted her Mommy to rock her, not her aunt and she wanted her Mommy to love her, not her aunt. Mac sighed and sang a little song to soothe Molly's tears.

That was where Denise found them. "Hey how's it going?"

Mac looked up "The girls gone?" Denise nodded. "Hey princess you ready for some lunch?" as she put her arms out for her daughter.

Denise picked her up and hugged her "My little girl" and kissed her cheek. Mac watched and hoped that this would help to bridge the gap that was forming.

Molly just put her head on Denise shoulder and didn't really speak. She was acting a little listless and Mac was getting quite concerned. Denise made a grilled cheese sandwich for Molly, she ate two bites, pushed it away and put her head down.

Denise looked at her then Mac concerned. Mac leaned over and whispered in her ear. "She thinks you want the baby more than her. She feels left out."

Denise looked at Molly "hey baby girl come sit with mommy for a while." Molly climbed down and Denise sat her in her lap and snuggled her.

At that moment Frank and Harm came home. Mac looked at Harm "After dinner we have to leave and get back to Washington." She nodded and smiled at Denise.

Denise nodded, "Thank you for being her with us, it mean so much to have Laura's godparents here. But before she's baptized we have another big event right Molly?"

Molly smiled snuggled against Denise's chest. "My birthday. Mommy and daddy are giving me a party. You come you and Harm come?"

Mac nodded, "You bet we'll come." She leaned over and gave Molly a big kiss then went to get their things. Laura started to fuss and Denise put Molly down to nurse the baby. When she looked Molly was gone, she sighed, she'd talk to her later.

Denise finished nursing Laura and went to look for Molly. Her room was empty so she surmised Molly was with Frank. She was straightening her bedroom when Frank wandered in. Denise looked at him then behind him "Where's Molly?"

Frank looked behind himself "I thought she was with you?" Denise got scared and raced to her room.

"Molly!" she called out. "Molly, answer Momma." Silence, cold, lonely silence. "Frank, I don't' think she's here, she must have wandered...Denise began to cry. Frank sighed and held her, "Let's call the police, we'll call the police and I'll start looking. She can't have gone too far. We'll find her sweetie."

They called the MP's and local police then Frank left to look for himself. Denise stayed at home with her cell phone in her hand pacing the floors. As Harm pulled into the parking space Mac heard a strange noise from the back seat of the SUV. She turned around and lifted Harm's jacket. There was Molly hiding under it. "Molly what are you doing there?"

Molly looked at her with solemn eyes "Mommy doesn't want me no more."

"What?! Molly did you run away?" Harm asked sternly towering over the little blonde. "Did you sneak into this car?"

Molly was not used to being spoken to harshly, she started shaking and tried to get out of the SVU. Mac caught her, "Let's go call you mommy, I bet she's worried."

Molly shook her head, "No...I left Laura home, she's not."

Harm picked her up, "I bet your mommy and daddy are so upset that you are gone."

They went into the complex and up to their apartment and Mac called Denise as Harm held the little girl. Molly looked at Harm "Why can't I stay with you? You no have babies."

"That's true..." Harm nodded. "But you are your Mommy's baby and she'll miss you. It'll make her cry." Mac heard this..."Harm, come here."

Harm waked over and Mac handed the phone to Harm. "Hey Denise yeah she's fine. She stowed away in my back seat. Okay." He handed the phone to Molly. "Molly it's Mommy. Molly I want you to come home. Daddy and I miss you."

Molly looked sad. "I miss you mommy. Where's Daddy?"

"Daddy can't talk right now baby," Denise replied as she rubbed Frank's back trying to calm him down. He didn't look right to her and she was afraid they were in for a trip to the hospital if she couldn't get him to settle down. "He's outside looking for you," she lied. "I know you are mad...I know you think Mommy and Daddy forgot about you but we didn't honey. We love you very much. Let me talk to Aunt Sarah again okay, princess?"

"Sarah is it possible for you to bring her home tomorrow? Frank is very upset and I'm worried about him. "

Mac looked at Harm and Molly, "Sure tomorrow I'll bring her back. Don't worry. Okay, I'll put her on."

Denise hugged Frank "Molly it's Mommy. Aunt Sarah will bring you home tomorrow you be a good girl for her. Daddy and I love you very much. Okay daddy loves you too, bye bye."

She hung up the phone "Oh my God, Frank our baby ran away."

Frank wasn't much help to her. He got like this a lot after Jeremy died but this was worse. He was crying and gasping and nothing she did soothed him. "She...thinks we don't love her," he sobbed. "He thought we didn't and now Molly..."

Denise sighed...she had to get him some help, now he needed medical help but later...he needed psychological help.

She had him sit down and breathe in a paper bag. "In and out slowly. If you don't calm down I'm going to call EMS."

Frank sat back on the couch "Dee my baby my baby" and he started to cry. She pulled him to her and hugged him close.

Nothing she did helped, the more she soothed the worse he got until she had no choice. She got the baby packed up and called 911. He's be angry later, but he'd be healthy. He was fifty years old, very upset, complaining of being dizzy and short of breath not to mention pain in his chest and stomach...She knew it was just panic but if it got worse she wanted him at the hospital.

She followed the EMS bus to Mercer and parked and with Laura in her carrier went in to the ER. Frank was rushed to the back and cardiac blood work was done as well as a portable chest x-ray. Denise waited in the waiting area nervously tapping her foot watching the ER doors and her baby.

She called Michael to fill him in then Mac in tears. Mac was giving Molly a bath so Harm took the call. "All right, calm down. What exactly happened and what do you know?" He tried to be solid and sturdy, hoping she'd relax.

"I think Frank is having a heart attack. He got so upset that Molly ran away he collapsed. I'm at the hospital. I called General Holden and I 'm going to call Dr. Burton."

"I can't fly all three of us to Charleston in a steerman. Let me get back to you." Harm hung up.

"Mac come here." She came out of the bathroom soak through her shirt. "That was Denise, she took Frank to the hospital, thinks it's a heart attack. I'm going to call Mom and see if Frank can't wire us enough cash to charter a jet. Quick check ride, we'll get her back there in three hours."

Three hours later the Rabbs' and Molly returned to Charleston. They walked into Mercer's ER early in the morning. Denise was sitting with Claudia Joy and her husband General Michael Holden. Michael stood as Harm walked up to them carrying a sleeping Molly. Harm handed Molly to Claudia Joy and he shook Michael's hand. Mac went to Denise who looked exhausted "How's Frank?"

"He's asleep for now," Denise sighed. "They can't seem to agree whether he had a heart attack or not. Everything is borderline, I hate that word, borderline. Molly was borderline too and she ended up sick, my blood pressure was borderline and I ended up on bed rest, I hate that word."

Mac nodded and held her sister. "I know...I know...it's okay. It's okay." Denise held on tight.

Claudia Joy offered to take the kids home as Harm and Mac would stay with Denise. Michael went with Claudia Joy to help with the children. Denise sat there watching the clock and waiting for the doctor to come and talk to her.

Finally he did come, "Mrs. Sherwood..." He looked at both women, Mac was nearly inside of her sister she was holding onto her so closely. "You can see your husband now. We've determined after considerable testing he did not suffer a heart attack, rather it was a potent anxiety attack leading to or aggravated by angina. We'll be giving him medication to help him with both. He will need to speak to a psychiatrist to learn techniques to calm down and destress."

Denise nodded "I know one Dr. Roland Burton."

"Well I'd like to keep Frank here until midmorning and I will have Dr. Burton stop by and speak to him before he goes home."

"Can I stay with him?" Denise asked.

The doctor nodded, "You may."

Denise looked at Mac, "Come with me. I hate seeing him in here. It's scary."

Denise and Mac went into the trauma bay to Frank's cubicle. He looked so tired. He was hooked up to monitors and oxygen and had 2 IV's running. Denise kissed his cheek "Hey Frank how are you?"

He opened his eyes "l'm tired. Where's my girl?" Mac stepped up to the bedrail.

"She is home with Mrs., Holden. Harm and I brought her home. She misses her daddy."

Frank weakly smiled "Thank you for bringing her home."

Mac nodded, "You quit scaring my sister you hear? This Marine will kick your red beret bottom next time." She affectionately rubbed is arm the same way Denise was doing on the other side. Frank smiled, "I could get used to this, mirror of beauty."

Denise smiled and kissed his head. She whispered to him 'You scared me so bad Frank. Don't you dare leave me."

He looked at her "I'll try not to baby."

"Sarah can you take care of Dee for now until I get out." Denise ran her fingers over his head "You will be coming home later this morning."

"No..." he shook his head and let his eyes close.

Denise caressed his cheek "Why don't you want to come home? Frank please tell me why?" He looked at her "I feel awful and so weak I can hardly move."

"That's okay baby, that's okay. You can feel weak and awful and tired and scared...anything you want to feel honey you can feel it and I'll be right there with you at home in our bed...Molly and I and Laura...we'll be by your side." He licked his lips and Mac nodded, she got a cup of ice chips and Denise tended him. Mac felt like an intruder.

Mac quietly walked out and sat next to Harm in the waiting room. "He feels bad and very weak .He doesn't want to come home."

"How's Denise?" Harm asked. "I've never heard anyone cry like that before. Never, not even Harriet all those times with Bud. Never. The sounds..."

"She's doing the best she can. She gave birth a few days ago. Then Molly takes powder with us-unknowing-, then her husband practically crashes. His problem stems back as far back as Jeremy's death."

"What would you say about taking some leave and staying here for a bit?" Mac shook her head. "No I want to be with you. I want to be with you Harm. I can come on the weekends, we can come on the weekends."

Mac looked up to see Denise walk through the doors "I need to go home and nurse Laura can you take me and bring me back after?"

Mac nodded "Sure." Harm told her he would stay here with Frank and not to worry.

Harm went and sat by the man he was fast starting to see as a brother. He looked old, really old. "I know you aren't sleeping Frank," Harm said. "I do that to Mac all the time when it's my turn to take out the trash."

Frank scoffed, "You have her take out the trash, that's cold."

Harm chuckled "It works now. Why don't you want to come home? Denise is exhausted she doesn't know what to do especially now."

"I don't feel like I should be allowed home," he replied. "I feel like I got ran over by a train. The amount of work for Dee...too much on her, just had a baby."

"If you don't go home it will be worse for her and Molly. They both need you emotionally. You can chill in bed and they can with you as well. So get your butt out of that bed when you can go .I'll take you home."

He nodded, "Thank for bringing her. I don't understand why she'd like that."

Harm only nodded, "She's a girl, whoever understands them?"