A/N: It could be that the maturity level drops a bit in this one…

13.

~Bella~

"Happy Birthday, butt face."

My eyes flew open and my brother's face was just inches away from in mine.

"Emmett! You remembered!"

"Of course I remembered. I even got you something." I sat up in bed and looked around the room. I got a little nervous at first, but then I remembered Charlie's plans for an early morning fishing trip. He would be back later in the afternoon and we were going to go to dinner to celebrate, which was a nice thought, but sure to be kind of awkward.

"Nice bed head," my brother laughed, reaching out and ruffling the nest on my head.

"You got me a present?" I ignored his teasing, not that I ever thought that would make it go away, but sometimes I just refused to engage in battle.

"I did." He sounded quite proud of himself. He picked up the huge box in his lap and put it on the bed between us.

I didn't want a big deal made about my birthday because I hated being the center of attention, but I was curious to see what my brother had gotten me.

I pulled off the wrapping paper and gaped at the box with the Apple logo on it.

"You got me a computer!"

"Yeah, it's one of those fancy MacBooks. You may or may not have noticed your cell phone is an iPhone. Well, I activated it as a hot spot, so you can get wireless internet on this and not have to plug it in to the wall."

"Wow." I felt a lump forming in my throat and my eyes filled up. "I don't know what to say."

"Thank you is what's most widely accepted."

I wiped my eyes and hugged him. "Thank you," I said quietly in his ear. "I can't believe you got me something this cool."

"If you think this is cool, wait until you see what's waiting for you at the house."

I pulled away and looked at him with dread. "Please tell me they didn't go overboard." I know Edward said I should get accustomed to people doing things for me, but I wasn't, and quite frankly, I imagined it was going to take a very long time for me to get used that kind of thing, if I ever did.

"Oh, they went overboard; every last one of them."

"Crap."

"No, it's good stuff. And they really liked doing it," he assured me. "Like really liked it."

I sighed heavily and set the box aside to get up and start my day. As I moved to the closet to pick out clothes, Emmett dove into the computer box. "I'm going to set this up."

"Good. Then after that, you can show me how to use it."

"Someone as nerdy as you should be able to figure this out in no time."

"Yeah, because I'm so technically savvy," I grumbled and pushed my way out of the room and down the hall to the bathroom.

That was really cool of Emmett to get me a computer, I had to admit. I had been wavering back and forth about it. Charlie insisted I get one, but I didn't know the difference between them and really wasn't sure that I actually needed one. The school had a computer lab, so if I had to type any papers, I could just do it there after school. And if I really didn't want to do that, the Cullens had bunch of computers. I'm sure I could use Edward's or Alice's. It wasn't like I really knew anyone to email. The Cullens were the only people I actually knew here other than Charlie and I saw them all the time. Why would I need to email them anything?

Of course, it was my choice that I wasn't really friendly with anyone else at school. There were nice people there. Angela was very nice and Jessica, well, she was a gossip, but she talked to me a lot. Mike steered clear of me now, as did pretty much all the boys. That really didn't bother me though, since I wasn't interested in dating any of them. How could I be when I had Edward?

I wasn't exactly sure in what capacity I had Edward. It was definitely more than as a friend now, but calling him my boyfriend sort of felt kind of strange. Technically speaking, he was like 97 years old. I'm not sure he qualified as a "boy." Plus, he seemed so much more than that. It was hard to explain, but somehow I knew he was it for me, though I couldn't say what made me so sure.

What was even more bizarre was that I didn't even mind not knowing what it all meant. I didn't have to have the answers now. An odd sort of serenity had fallen over me since yesterday afternoon. It was such a foreign feeling to me that I actually thought maybe Jasper was around controlling my emotions. But I wasn't sure that he had done that to me at all yet, and I thought maybe if he had, it would probably be obvious.

I'd never been kissed before and that kiss pretty much knocked my socks off; it literally felt electric. I had never wanted someone like that. I thought that if I stopped kissing and touching Edward that I might not be able to breathe. I felt my heart pound and parts of me that I didn't even know I had tingled.

I yanked my brush through my hair as I thought about what happened with Mike Newton. In hindsight, I really think a simple palm to the chest and a light shove would have been just fine, but I froze up. All I could think of was my uncle. It was wrong of me to compare every guy to my uncle. They weren't all like that.

But I really hadn't done that, had I? I wasn't afraid of Uncle Charlie and I never thought Edward would do anything I didn't want him to, not for a second. I was never afraid he'd cross a line. I didn't really have any lines for him to cross. I realized that I would happily explore whatever he wanted to explore. I wanted that with him.

I lowered my brush and looked at myself in the mirror with the new eyes of my epiphany. I wanted a physical relationship with Edward. And I actually wanted it pretty bad. I arched a brow as I assessed myself as others might.

My skin was pale, almost like an albino. My hair was a normal boring shade of brown and my eyes weren't much more interesting than my hair. I wasn't a fashionable dresser. In fact, I was pretty understated. I even managed to be that way with everything Alice had bought me. When Charlie had taken me shopping after I first got to Washington, I was able to supplement my wardrobe with things that were more me.

So what would someone like Edward see in me?

Other than the fact that he could be himself around me, like his real vampire self.

I wasn't attractive like Rosalie and Alice, and even Esme. I wasn't particularly talented at anything. I couldn't play an instrument and certainly wasn't any kind of sports star. Hell, I couldn't even manage five consecutive steps without tripping over a flat surface.

I was smart. I had that going for me. But I was self-conscious and so shy it was almost disabling at times.

But I wasn't shy around Edward or his family. Granted, I was still pretty quiet, but I wasn't nervous around them. They really didn't let me be. I wasn't sure what I had to offer someone like Edward, other than blood, that is.

Regardless of what I saw of myself, Edward saw something that interested him. And while I wasn't sure I would ever understand what that was, I was determined not to let it bother me and enjoy the time I had with him.

The bigger problem was Emmett. In the past, he had always been extremely protective of me. I always knew that sooner or later, we'd have to have this conversation. The day would come when he would have to back off and let me make my own decisions on who I did or didn't date. And, quite frankly, a relationship with a human, at least a serious long-term one, was now out of the question. How would I explain Emmett? Or any of the Cullens?

After I finished getting dressed, I opened the door while I brushed my teeth. Emmett almost immediately appeared in the doorway and leaned up against the jam.

"I'm thinking about getting a car," he announced.

"I know; you told me."

"The Cullens have a lot of money. Alice can predict trends in the stock market. It's not even like they're filthy rich, they're, like, wealthy."

I spit my toothpaste out and rinsed my mouth. "There's a difference?"

"Apparently, there is," he shrugged.

"So what are you going to get? Some crazy fast thing?" I asked, walking by him and back down to my bedroom. The laptop was opened on the bed and I saw that he was logged onto the internet.

"I was thinking about this one," he gestured to the computer and we both sat down on the bed. "Take a look at this, Bells. It's a big fuck-off Jeep."

He turned the laptop in my direction, but in response I blurted, "I kissed Edward!"

Well, I didn't really mean to tell him like that. But it was out there now, so we would both have to deal with it.

He blinked at me.

"Huh?"

"Edward. Me and Edward. We kissed. I kissed him."

"Where?"

"In his car."

"Where. Did. You. Kiss. Him. On. His. Body?"

That tone didn't sound so good.

"Oh, um, well, his lips of course."

"Of course?"

"Where else would I kiss him?"

"I don't know; I don't want to think about it." He said waving his hands around as if to erase the very image from his mind. "In what capacity did you kiss him?"

"What? I don't understand."

"Did you kiss him as your friend? As a very good friend with no romantic connotations whatsoever?" His tone told me that was the answer he was hoping for.

"No, not exactly."

"So then what, you kind of kissed him in some sort of romantic way?"

"Emmett, I have feelings for him."

"I don't give a flying fuck if you have feelings for him! You're 17! He's a boy; you're a girl. Boys don't kiss my sister!"

"You kiss Rosalie all the time. I don't give you any grief about it."

"Oh, you don't?" He challenged crossing his arms.

"No, I don't." I crossed my arms too and glared at him in return.

"How about a certain conversation we had where you asked me if I loved her more than you?"

Damn. He got me there.

"That's completely irrelevant."

"In what way?"

"I'm not talking about love; I'm talking about a harmless little kiss," I insisted. Except it was an epic kiss and I was pretty sure I was talking about love.

"If it was so harmless, then why are you so defensive?"

"You're the one making me defensive. I can kiss boys if I want. I can go kiss any boy I feel like and you can't say anything. You didn't really expect me to live like a nun, did you?"

"That's what's irrelevant."

"You sound ridiculous."

"If I do it's because you've turned me into a raving fucking lunatic," he ground out. I could see he was getting extremely mad. His body tensed up and his eyes were fierce. I wasn't sure what this kind of anger did to him now. Before he would just likely put a hole in a wall, but I didn't know what he would be capable of doing now.

"Listen, Bella," he continued, clearly trying to get himself back under control. "Edward is…"

He trailed off and I waited.

"He's…it's like this…"

I arched an eyebrow expectantly as I waited for him to continue. It didn't seem like he could finish his sentence.

"You don't have anything bad to say about him, do you?" I said with a smirk.

"Of course I do," he snapped in response.

"Alright, well then let's hear it."

"He's a guy! That's reason enough."

"Please," I scoffed. "Why did you bring me to Washington?"

"I've told you why," he all but growled.

"Because you wanted me to have a normal life. You brought me out here. How long can you reasonably expect to call the shots in my life?"

"At least another year."

"Wrong," I said firmly. "I'm 17. I can make my own decisions. I'm sorry you don't agree with them, but that's just too damn bad. It's not like you ever take what I think into consideration before you make any of your dumb ass decisions!"

"And just what the hell is that supposed to mean?" He did growl this time and it was not a pleasant sound. His fists were clenched at his sides; a telltale sign that he wanted to strangle me.

"Why did you go off with Lou, Emmett?" I suddenly demanded. I surprised even myself by my question, but once it was out there was no turning back.

"Why did I –" he gaped at me. "Are you kidding me?"

"There were two of us, Emmett, we could have left! You were the one with the plan, you were the one that had the money saved. Why didn't we just leave? Why did you have to go fight him? If it wasn't for that fool move…" I trailed off, breathing hard. Everything about him had gone absolutely still.

"Finish your sentence, Bella," he said quietly. The anger in him seemed to be gone, but I wasn't really sure now what replaced it.

I shook my head. "I don't really know what I was going to say."

"Yeah, you do," he nodded. "Maybe not consciously but this was going to come out sooner or later. You've had a few weeks to adjust to everything now, so it's time for you to face what happened. If I hadn't gone with Lou, he wouldn't have killed me."

The words pierced me like arrows right in the chest and my mind seemed to shut down. I kept shaking my head.

"I got murdered, Bella. Lou killed me. I got murdered by someone I should have been able to trust. And since it turned out I couldn't trust him, I got killed. But I'm not sorry about it either. If I hadn't been changed, I can't even think about what would have happened to you. And I got my revenge when I killed him."

I held up one hand and pressed the other to her stomach, then turned away. I was nauseous. I was dizzy; I'd reached my limit, but he pressed on anyway.

"I killed Lou because that's what I am now and he did deserve it. He deserved it for killing me."

"How can you be dead, Emmett?" I hissed. "You're standing there yelling at me. Dead people don't yell at people!"

"I don't have a heartbeat, Bella. My heart doesn't beat."

"Do you love me?"

"What?"

"Do. You. Love. Me!"

"Of course I do; what the hell kind of idiot question is that?"

"Well how can you love without a heart?"

"I don't know; something else in me is doing it now."

"You're only clinically dead if you don't have any brain waves too!"

He paused for a second, mulling that one over. He cocked his head to the side and looked at her. "I don't think that's entirely accurate. I also don't breathe."

"Well, your mouth works just fine. In fact, it seems to be making up for everything else."

I felt the hot tears streaming down my face and I began to back away from him. It was becoming too much to take. His words made logical sense, of course, and I supposed I've known from the beginning what it all meant, but I couldn't face it.

"Bells," he said quietly.

I turned around and bolted from the room. I heard him call my name again and then I heard a cell phone. "WHAT!" His rude answer to the caller was the last thing I heard as I tore out of the house. I don't know where I was running to and I doubt I would have gotten very far by myself, but I suddenly crashed right into a solid form and fell to the ground.

"Bella!" The newcomer said, clearly surprised. "Oh shit! Are you alright?" I looked up and right at Jacob Black.

~Edward~

I watched the whole disastrous thing play out in Alice's mind. On the one hand, I wanted to strangle Emmett for making Bella that upset, on her birthday of all days! But on the other hand, she was going to have to face this sooner or later. There was only so long we could just float along and pretend the gravity of the situation wasn't lost on her. Bella wasn't stupid. Sooner or later, she was going to add two and two up and get four.

I didn't stick around to see the fallout in Alice's mind, but flew out the backdoor of the house and raced through the woods to get to Bella. I made it to the house for the tail end of the argument.

My phone in my pocket signaled a text message. I dug it out and saw that Alice had called Emmett home, freeing Bella up to be consoled by me. A most repugnant scent overcame my senses then. It had been a very long time since I smelled a werewolf, but there was one near.

My whole body went rigid. I looked to the front of the house as an orange Volkswagon Rabbit pulled up in front of the house and a boy got out. I knew immediately it was Jacob Black. He looked exactly like his grandfather. He didn't seem to sense me, which told me he must not be at the age to phase yet. If he had already begun to phase, he would have known I was here as soon as he pulled up to the house. That worked to my advantage.

I raced up a tree when I sensed Emmett coming out the back door. He'd probably smell me, but I didn't want a confrontation with him just now. I wanted to be there for Bella. She came running out the front door and collided with Jacob.

He grabbed her when she fell to the ground. I growled low in my throat in reaction to the werewolf touching my mate. "Bella! Oh shit! Are you alright?"

"Jacob?" She seemed confused. Her voice was hoarse with tears. I started to climb down the tree to go and comfort her, but I was stopped by a suddenly horrifying thought.

What if she didn't want to see me now? What if after that big reveal, she didn't want to see any of us? I didn't know if I could survive that. I held my position and watched things unfold in the front yard. I would intervene if she seemed to feel in any way threatened, but for now, I would stay back.

"I'm sorry," Bella said, wiping the tears from her face and stepping back out of Jacob's personal space.

"Are you alright? Are you hurt? Should I call Charlie?"

"No!" she denied immediately. "No, you don't need to call Charlie. I'm alright."

"No offense, Bella, but you are clearly not alright."

She turned away from him, shoulders hunched, wiping her eyes, and sat down on the front steps. Jacob sat down next to her. She looked miserable. I just wanted to go to her and wrap my arms around her and keep her there forever.

"No, I guess I'm not." Though she spoke in a whisper, her words were clear as a bell to me. "I just had a big fight with my brother."

"Emmett?" Jacob looked behind him to the house. "He's here?"

"Oh, um, no," Bella said. "He's not. Um, on the phone."

Even in her anger and depression, she protected her brother. I wanted to throttle him. In fact, I was going to throttle him. He didn't deserve such an angel for a sister. He was clearly not worthy of her love and devotion. Bella's brother and I were going to have ourselves a little, and possibly extremely violent, chat.

Of course, I couldn't claim to be any more worthy of her, but that wasn't the issue at the moment.

"What'd you fight about?" Jacob asked.

"Oh, it's stupid. Don't worry about it." She tried to wave the whole thing off; she wasn't very convincing.

"Bella, come on," Jacob replied, bumping her knee with his. The dog had better stop touching her or I'd rip those legs off. "I'm a brother; I fight with my sisters. It's probably not going to sound at all stupid to me."

"You can't possibly want to hear this."

"I don't have anything else to do right now."

No, but maybe you could go find something else to do right now, Fido, instead of drooling all over my beloved.

Bella sighed and looked off down the road, clearly trying to figure out how she was going to word all this to Jacob. I wondered if she was going to just make something else up entirely.

"I guess you could say he doesn't approve of my choice of boyfriend," she said finally.

Wow. That was shockingly close to the truth.

"Boyfriend?" Jacob actually squeaked. "Charlie didn't mention you were seeing anyone."

"He doesn't really know yet. I was going to tell him later when we went to dinner. It's still pretty new," Bella continued. Looked like I was going to be meeting the Chief of Police soon, that is if Bella ever wanted to talk to me again after what came out in her conversation with Emmett. "I don't think it's so much this guy, as it is any guy, you know? You're a brother. Why can't sisters kiss boys? Why is okay for boys to, I don't know, hop in the backseat with whoever they damn well want, whenever they damn well want, but a girl kisses a guy and her brother goes berserk. And I mean nuts. Emmett went absolutely ballistic!"

"Because we're guys, Bella, and guys only want one thing from a girl and any guy that tells you something different is lying to you," Jacob said firmly. I wanted to smash his face into the pavement. That is not what I wanted from Bella, though it was definitely what Jacob wanted. I wanted nothing more than to breathe – or, you know, not – the same air she did. I just wanted to be a part of her life. I could never be with her in that way, it would kill her.

"Oh really, and is that why you're here?" she smirked.

Good girl. Jacob started stuttering.

"Oh, well, no, of course not." She'd turned him into a blithering half-wit. He was such an amateur. "I was in the area and Charlie said it was your birthday and you were going to be by yourself most of the day, so I came to see if maybe you wanted to go out for a bit, maybe down to the beach and walk around, watch the surfers."

Clearly it was to be a romantic walk on the beach until the dreaded boyfriend bomb got dropped on him.

And let me spend a second on the word "boyfriend." It sounded kind of strange as a label pertaining to myself, but I was elated that Bella thought of me in that capacity.

Or she did until Emmett went and fucked it all up.

"Oh," Bella's voice dropped and I heard her heart speed up. She was getting nervous. Time to intervene. I dropped out of the tree and walk casually around the corner to the front of the house.

"Hey, Bella," I greeted.

"Edward!" She was surprised to see me. She looked around by the road. Oh yeah, I didn't bring my car. How were we going to explain this?

"Don't look so surprised to see me! Remember, I told you'd I'd be hiking today? I stopped by for a breather."

"That's right," she stammered. "I guess I forgot."

"Who's this?" I asked politely gesturing to Jacob.

Bella stood up and took a few steps toward me. "This is Jacob Black. His family is friends with Charlie. Jacob, this is Edward, my, um, boyfriend."

Jacob didn't offer his hand, which was a good thing because I wasn't about to take it and then I would have just come across as plain rude, but obviously a vampire could not touch a werewolf, whether or not it was a phasing wolf.

"You look like you were crying, Bella," I said. Clearly, if I was at all an attentive boyfriend, and of course I was, I would immediately notice how she looked. "Are you alright?" I gave Jacob a good glare because I think if a 17 year old human boy came upon his girlfriend with another boy and she looked like she was crying, he would think that boy had something to do with it. Wouldn't he? Yes, that sounded like the teenage angst that filled my head every day.

"I got in a huge fight with my brother," she muttered.

"Okay, well, I guess I'll get going," Rin Tin Tin said when he realized he clearly wasn't going to get anywhere with Bella. "How 'bout a rain check on the beach, Bella? Maybe you and Charlie could come down to the Rez and do some fishing."

Bella looked disgusted at the mere suggestion of fishing and I chuckled.

"Sure," she nodded, but I knew her well enough to know she didn't mean it.

"See ya," Jacob said. Lassie gave me a glare and then turned and walked back to his car. Bella and I watched him get in the car and then pull away…much too fast.

"Are you sure you're alright?" I asked softly. She shrugged and looked at her feet. "Do you want me to go?" Her head snapped up and she looked surprised.

"No, not at all. Unless the sight of a weeping woman puts you off. Emmett generally runs for the hills when I start crying…well, he did run for the hills when I started crying."

"No, he didn't. Alice saw what happened and she called him home."

"So you know."

"Yes."

"Everything we talked about?"

"Mostly, yes. I saw it in Alice's mind and then got here for the end of it."

"God!" She pushed her hands to her forehead and sat back down on the steps. "I feel like such and idiot! I know, I know what 'undead' means, but, I don't know…" She took a deep breath. "It's just when he put it like that…I don't know, it just sounded so violent."

I sat down beside her, then very slowly reached over and took her hand, praying she didn't cringe away. Of course, she didn't.

"It was violent," I said gently. "It was violent for Emmett, it was violent for Rosalie and Carlisle, it was just plain tragic for Esme, and it was violent for Alice and Jasper."

"You're the only one that got away unscathed, so to speak."

"So to speak," I agreed, though Carlisle's bite was certainly violent enough.

"I'm sorry that happened to you all," she whispered. She squeezed my hand and I smiled. She was so caring. How was she ever going to survive in our world? What human in their right mind comforted a vampire? Who would even consider doing that?

"Well, I don't know now," I said thoughtfully, looking down at our linked hands. "If I hadn't ended up in Carlisle's hospital, I would have actually died like I was supposed to and then I wouldn't have met you 80 years later. That would have been the real tragedy."

"I'd hardly call that a bright side," she chuckled.

"Oh, believe me, Bella, it is." I insisted. "You don't see yourself clearly. You're the very best thing that's ever happened to me."

She blushed furiously at that and the fire ripped down my throat.

I turned to her and gently cupped her cheek in my hand, then lifted her face, feeling the burn, relishing in it. It took a few drawn out seconds before she finally met my eyes. "It's true," I reaffirmed. "I'll protect you, Bella, from anything and anyone. Anyone. Do you understand?"

She nodded.

I moved in slowly and pressed my lips to hers. She grabbed onto my shirt and kissed me back. Thankfully, for reasons passing my understanding, she was not creeped out.

She pulled back a bit and met my gaze. "And I can kiss whoever the hell I want!" She said firmly.

"Absolutely," I smirked leaning in again. "Just so long as it's me."