She looked at her watch. She wasn't worried. What did she have to be worried about? Nothing, that's what. The small hands of time agreed with her. It was only 2:49. Nothing to worry about. He would call at three o'clock sharp, just like he'd promised. There were still eleven minutes left. Plenty of time. She looked at the clock on the wall. Ten minuets, she amended.

She took a deep breath and tried to focus. She trusted him, and she wanted to show it. The nine year old was really much too old for his age, but she had to learn to keep up with him. If she didn't keep up, some day she might be left behind.

Nine minuets. Only a minute had passed. If this kept up, she would be tempted to march straight down to the store and get him, responsibility be damned. She knew it was selfish to want him to be a child forever, but was there anything wrong with that? Why shouldn't she be a little selfish? Other people were selfish all the time.

Don't look at the time, don't look at the time. Seven minutes till two. No, she wasn't worried at all. What could happen to a nine year old boy all alone in a big, crowded place? Nothing, that's what. Car accident? Nope. Kidnapped? Nuh uh. Trampled? Highly unlikely. She whipped out her cell phone, dialing the familiar number without thinking.

She knew she was over reacting, but she knew if she didn't call she would just keep thinking about it. It was better to reassure herself now than to wait until she was frantic. Strong emotion of any kind - sadness, anger, happiness, and fear - tended to shut off the thinking part of her brain. There was no telling what she would do if she got worked up. Embarrassing her son was the least of her worries.

Empty ringing echoed between her ears as she waited, preparing to feel foolish when Shino started complaining. She waited and waited, becoming less worried and more annoyed as each ring was followed by another. By the time she heard the automated voice of her son inviting her to leave a message, she was down right mad. She tried really hard to give him the space he asked for. The least he could do was pick up the phone.

"Hi Shino, It's your mother. You remember, right? I'm the lady who ultimately controls your life. I was just calling to tell you again how much I trust you and how hurt I would be if you chose to break that trust. I might be forced to do something drastic, like … oh I don't know, sit on you until you're twelve for real. I'm sure you don't want that, so call me back." She clicked the phone shut with a satisfied smile on her lips. Shino was a smart boy. He'd definitely call soon. She needn't worry so much. She looked at the clock. It read 2:59

3:14.

3:27.

3:41.

3:50. She tapped her foot impatiently and once again waited for the ringing in her head to stop. Why wasn't he picking up? This had gone past the point of overprotective parenting. She was actually concerned for his safety. If he was in trouble… well she would take that trouble and tear it into a thousand tiny pieces. If he was not in trouble, then she'd tear him to pieces.

"Hello?" Thank goodness he was fine. She was going to kill him. She let her anger seep into her words, but she at least gave him a chance to explain himself. Cheeky kid came up with the one excuse she couldn't stay angry at. She had taught him that polite people did not interrupt conversations to take phone calls.

That didn't mean he was off the hook. She'd be keeping him close for the next little while, and calling him Shin-chan every chance she got. He hated the nickname almost as much as… well he hated it. "So when will you be home? We're starving over here. I need my groceries." It was the truth too. Her father had just reminded her for the fifth time that he was dying of stomach pains.

"Uh actually, I'm a little lost." She could practically hear him blushing. He never got lost. But Tokyo was a lot different from the city he grew up in, even though it was home to her. She laughed gently, amused yet careful of his pride. She agreed to pick him up, glad to know that he wasn't as independent as he tried to seem.

"I'm taking the rental car," she called to the room. She had learned how to drive shortly after the move. She had been old enough, and it was nearly impossible to get anywhere in America without a vehicle. Maps simply couldn't convey how huge the place was. On top of the sheer size, everything was so spread out. It had taken a long time to get used to.

She hummed to herself the whole way, preferring her own thoughts to the unfocused noise of the radio. As hesitant as she had been when Shino had first brought up the idea, she really was glad to be back in Japan. She hadn't realized how much she missed these streets. She couldn't have guessed how much had changed. The buildings, the people, and most of all herself – everything was different now.

It still hurt. Seeing the places where they had walked together as children only reminded her of how wrong she had been. It brought back the feeling of foolishness she'd tried so hard to move past. She had been surethey had something; that he had cared. Turned out he cared less than she thought, and she couldn't blame him for that.

He was a good person. Too good. He was all about justice and fairness and responsibility. But he didn't love her. She couldn't have stayed to endure the half -love of friendship. She wouldn't accept that from him. If she couldn't have everything she would take nothing. Well, she smiled to herself, not exactly nothing.

She turned a corner, surprised at the speed of her journey. It was as if no time had passed since she pulled away from the curb, but she was already approaching her destination. There he was, sitting on a park bench next to a mister-tall-dark-and-handsome. Wait what? Was that the guy he had been chatting with over an hour ago? And they were still talking? Her Mother instincts kicked in. If this guy had some kind of…interest in her son he would find himself on the painful side of her foot. She hadn't let herself get sloppy over the years.

She pulled up to the curb not far from the bench and just barely kept herself from slamming the door shut. She put her most intimidating face on and looked up to glare this stranger into submission. Her heart stopped but her steely gaze stayed in place. It can't be. He looked as shocked as she felt, at least for a second, before neutrality slammed down over his features.

He spoke and there was no mistake. She would recognize his voice anywhere. "That's your mom, kid?" She wanted to throw something at him for speaking so casually to her son. Shino was hers. Shino nodded hesitantly and glanced expectantly between them. He knows, she thought.

"Shino, get in the car." The cold of enforced indifference permeated her voice. This was exactly the worst possible scenario she had imagined when she thought of coming home. Running into him…

"But - ".

"Now. Shino." Her son glared at her and complied. Smart boy. She heard the door slam shut behind her, not daring to look away from the man in front of her. She waited expectantly.

The cold silence got to him. He had to say something. "Hey, Ran. Long time, huh?"

Her eyes flashed, and then went dull. "Thank you for looking after my son." She turned her back and walked to the car. She paused and said almost as an afterthought, "Goodbye, Shinichi." This time she didn't stop herself from slamming the door.

Shino crossed his arms and pouted. He couldn't hear what they were saying. How was he supposed to get them back together if he couldn't her what they were saying? It wasn't long before his mom stepped into the drivers seat and slammed the door. Shino flinched internally. Things hadn't gone well. She never slammed doors.

The car pulled away and into traffic without hurrying, leaving the man behind on the curb. Ran didn't look back. She didn't sigh mournfully or stare into the rearview mirror, or do anything people were supposed to do when they were in love. Shino was willing to admit that real life might be different from the books. Maybe true love didn't triumph over all obstacles. Perhaps time could separate people. Shino glared out the window. He wasn't one to give up easily. The resistance just meant he had to work harder.

He felt his mother glance at him, but he refused to look at her. She hadn't even tried to talk to him. She hadn't given him a chance. She hadn't seen the love and hurt he had kept hidden because she hadn't watched him as she drove away. Shino liked the man. He didn't like driving away. Things needed to be said.

"How did you find out?" Ran wasn't accusing him. She sounded resigned; she just wanted to know.

Shino still didn't look at her. "I found the box."

Seconds ticked by before she responded. "Oh, that."

That. Yes that. The secret box she kept in the closet; the one where she hid away all of her secret feelings. He stumbled on it one day by accident. He wasn't snooping or anything, he was just… curious. It was full of photos, some old and others new. Some clearly cut from newspapers and magazines and others were personal snapshots. There was one he found of his mother when she was younger. She was at an amusement park, standing next to the great Kudou Shinichi. Shino had recognized him because his mom always talked about him. She said that they had been friends once, and she was proud of him.

Shino was young, but he wasn't stupid. Keeping the journal articles could have been pride. Keeping the photos could have been nostalgia. Keeping these things in a plain shoebox in the back of her closet meant she was in love. His mother had only ever loved one person, Shino was sure of that. The man in the box was his father.

"Why didn't you tell me?" He looked at her now, so he saw her flinch away from the question.

"Because I knew you'd want to meet him. I knew you would do exactly what you just did. This is why you wanted to visit Japan, isn't it?" She sounded mad. Shino felt his blood rise. No way was she turning this on him.

"I wasn't looking for him, you know. He just happened to be there. What was I supposed to do, ignore him? Like you have?"

"I didn't ignore him!" she spat defensively. "I…" She caught herself and took a deep breath before continuing. "I'm not ignoring him. He ignored me."

"Oh yeah? Then how come he didn't know who I was?"

Her eyes flashed with unknowable emotion. "Did you tell him?"

"No. I just wanted to meet him. Why didn't you tell him? All this time, I could have had a dad." Shino tried not to be bitter, but years of imagining what his father was like had steeped him in the stuff.

"He didn't want me. He didn't love me the way I loved him. I couldn't tell him. He would have insisted on marrying me, and being there for us. He would have forced himself to stay even when he wanted to leave. I loved him. I couldn't do that to him. I couldn't live with myself if I had." Her voice stayed strong, ignoring the tear that sneaked past her guard. "I did what I had to do and I left. But he left me first."

Shino was upset. How could he not be? His mom and dad were ridiculously in love with each other and neither of them would come out and admit it. They were both too afraid – too fragile – to take such a huge risk. So they both spent years of their lives completely miserable while he sat around making up stories about them. For as long as he could remember he had been creating his father, creating their lives together, making his mom happy. All of his scenarios and the most tragic story was the truth. He was not just going to accept that.

"Shino. I know this is hard for you." He snorted. "I'm serious. I know how you must feel. I've been lying to you your whole life. But please, please listen to me. Don't look for him again. Don't talk to him again. Stop thinking about him; he'll only disappoint you." It was her turn to taste the bitterness of her words.

Shino could not believe what she was asking him to do. Give up his father after he had just found him? Not a chance.

AN: YAY! don't know what else to say. I can't wait to see where this is going. I'm only slightly more knowledgeable than you about the plot at this point. I have Ideas... myes... But no solid plot. If you have an Idea and feel like piping up, please do!

next up: a bit of backstory. Look forward to it.