a/n: I don't know where this came from. I just... needed to write it. Enjoy.

I do not own Harry Potter or "Cold" but I do own any mistakes you may find.

–

'god & his priests & his kings'

'crimson and bare as I stand- yours completely.
yours, as we go over.'

–

i.

Upon learning she would be attending a school of magic, Hermione bought every book on wizarding history she could get her hands on at Flourish & Blotts. The name Harry Potter appeared over and over again, but as with most famous people, he just felt like a name in a book.

When she pulls open the door to his train compartment, she's immediately underwhelmed by the skinny boy in the corner who looks like just running two blocks would kill him. Let alone destroying the most evil wizard of all time.

Over the course of her first year at Hogwarts she realizes very quickly not to ever underestimate Harry Potter; a boy who has blood running through his veins and love in his heart.

For once Hermione thinks books didn't do something justice.

–

ii.

The terror in her heart seconds after Harry's name is plucked from the goblet of fire is the most intense fear she's ever felt. More than when Ron had nearly died in their first year or that split second of seeing a yellow eye in her mirror the previous spring.

She thinks she's the only one that realizes how much is at stake in this tournament. Harry might be the Boy Who Lived, but that doesn't mean the nickname will always prove to be true.

During the weeks where Ron and Harry seem unlikely to ever reconcile, Hermione spends most of her time contemplating the messy haired boy who continuously faces down destiny with a determined expression and huge heart.

When she is fourteen she realized how incredible Harry Potter really is and how lucky she is that he suggested coming back to save her from a mountain troll.

She can't help but be a little disappointed when Ron waltzes back in like nothing's happened because for a few weeks, Harry was all hers.

She thinks she liked that a little more that she should have.

–

iii.

The Yule Ball would've been perfect for several reasons: she had a date, for starters, which prior to that year would have been impossible; she also looked wonderful and she knew that; and to top it off, her date was rich, famous, handsome, and made her blush without even trying.

But even as they opened the ball with the traditional dance, her eyes strayed to the bottle green robes and the awkward fumbling of Harry's nervous fingers, wondering how they'd feel on her own waist.

Even though the ginger haired boy she called her best friend upsets her, she can't deny the skip of a heartbeat when she thinks of those green eyes transfixed on her as she descended down the stairs earlier that evening.

All of his attention had been completely devoted entirely to her.

In that moment, Hermione Granger had never felt more beautiful.

–

iv.

Harry's face after the first few DA meetings leave Hermione radiating warmth. His anger and bitterness were making her curls slowly turn grey, so the soft smile lining his lips involuntarily means everything to her.

That is, until he lets slip he had just been getting cozy with Cho Chang in the Room of Requirement. For a second, just a split second when Ron is looking gobsmacked, her face falls into confusion.

It's never struck her that one day another girl would get as close to Harry as she has.

She only allows three tears to fall from her cheeks that night as she lays down, ignoring all those dreams of her own lips mingling with the boy she spent everyday hoping would notice that she was more than a means of getting homework finished.

It takes all of twenty seconds for her to decide she hates Cho Chang and her shiny hair and wet kisses under mistletoe.

–

v.

It also takes everything in her not to let out a happy sigh when Harry tells her about his disastrous first date with the Ravenclaw girl now shooting daggers at him across the Great Hall.

It's hard for her to picture Harry on a date with anyone; it's not really a secret how tactless he really is.

The moment he mutters, "But I don't think you're ugly!" she feels her heart thud in her chest and thinks it's a miracle he doesn't hear it too.

Because Harry is the most beautiful boy she's ever seen, with his black hair and green eyes and she's only ever felt pretty when he's looking directly at her.

She's pretty sure that his full attention will end up giving her a heart attack, but then again, it would probably be worth it.

–

vi.

Ron leaves and it takes the monotone in her head: 'Get up, find food, check on Harry, sit watch, don't think about Ron,' over and over again to keep her going. When Ginny and Harry fell into a relationship, Hermione took it as a sign:

Sometimes it isn't the worst thing in the world to settle.

Ron was the easiest person to settle for, he was always there and everyone expected it anyway. She could have a future with him and still be close to Harry.

She brushes a hand across the top of his messy, raven haired head one cold morning, a reflex reaction after their night in Godric's Hollow. He'd been completely open with her and she felt something shift in the air.

He reaches up, apparently without thought, and clasps her hand in his own. His fingers are warm around hers and she wonders if she could just stay like this forever.

She leans down and brushes her lips against his pale forehead, gently enough that he might not have even noticed.

She doesn't miss the arm he wraps around her later that night as they both sit watch, wishing things could work out safely in the end.

–

vii. (a)

When the battle is won, Harry retreats into Grimauld Place and doesn't come out for weeks. He doesn't allow Ron or Ginny or anyone else to come in. She avoids all contact with the Weasleys too because she feels guilt and pain in their despair.

The door to number twelve opens easily enough for her and she finds him slumped in the den, eyes puffy and bottle empty.

"Oh Harry," She breathes softly, stroking his hair once more, causing him to stir and open his eyes. He smiles gently at her, the pain of the war still lining his features.

"I hoped it'd be you." He whispers, lacing a hand over hers like all those nights ago. She sucks in a deep breath and wonders why he always has to speak in cryptic words.

His green eyes are looking up at her with hope, "Hermione, I know that you and Ron... well kissed, but I've been drinking for three weeks straight and all I can think about is you and I don't know why because you've always loved him but-"

"What?" She cuts him off, jaw dropping unattractively.

"You've always liked Ron, I always knew that..." He mumbles but all she can do is laugh.

"Oh Harry," She says sadly, stroking his dark hair, "It's always been you."

–

vii. (b)

His lips taste like alcohol and familiarity, the warmth spreading her through her chest winds her and she smiles against his lips.

"It had to be you." He whispers against her mouth, stroking her cheek with the hands she loves so much.

Hermione will be forever grateful that she didn't write off that scrawny boy on her first train ride because, in the end, he was much more than just a name in a book.

In the end, he was everything.