Title: The ARC's Sexiest Single Man

Rating: T

Spoilers: Series 5

Description: There is dissension in the ARC, but not over some moral or leadership question. Its over who is the sexiest single man.

Disclaimer: I don't own Primeval or the characters.

Author's Note: This story was inspired by Lt. Vale, my OC. I saw him as a ladies' man, not the arrogant, wolf after only ne thing, but a kind, funny, honest lover of women. Vale is smart, capable, and one of Becker's most trusted men. He has one other attribute which is the center of this story. Like Becker, Vale is pretty darn sexy.

The ARC's Sexiest Single Man, chapter one

"What in the heck?" asked an unhappy Jess.

"What's wrong, honey," asked her boyfriend, Captain Becker.

"Have you seen this email?"

"I leave the computer stuff to you."

"Ooh!" she said, clearly miffed. "I can't believe someone would post this, and to every ARC female!"

"Really? Is it scandalous?" asked Becker, interested.

"Yes, very scandalous," said Jess.

Becker leaned over her shoulder and read from her computer screen, "Who is the sexiest man in the ARC?' Huh."

"Huh? That's all you have to say?"

"What do you want me to say?"

"How about, 'how horrible?' or 'that's sexist?"

Becker shrugged. "It's not that big of a deal, Jess."

"What? It is too! Why aren't you upset?"

"Why are you?"

"I don't want my boyfriend ogled."

Becker smirked. "You don't?"

"Not by other people. I can ogle you," she said with a grin.

He laughed.

"OK, so its not really the ogling that's upsetting me," said Jess. "Read the rest."

Becker read, "We all know there are a lot of beefy guys working around us, but who do you think is the absolute sexiest? Let's vote on it. The rules are one vote from each email account. To keep happy unions happy, we are only counting the single men. Type in the name, for example, Captain Becker, and send it to me. We will keep count by the mens' names. At the end of two weeks, I will announce the winner via email."

He smiled. "You're mad because I was the 'for example?' Shouldn't you be happy your boyfriend is hot?"

She looked up, backwards, from her seated position. "Becker, I know you're hot. I love you being hot."

"So what's wrong?"

"It says, 'single,' Becker. Single!"

"Uh, Jess. I am single."

"You are not!"

"Do you see a ring on this finger?"

"I don't mean not married, Becker."

"That's usually the definition of 'single,' Jess."

"No, 'single,' means unattached. You are attached to me. Don't you forget it."

"Maybe you better remind me," he said with a smirk.

She narrowed her eyes, got up from her chair, and poked him in the stomach. "You're mine."

"I kind of hoped for a gentler, kissier reminder, babe."

She smiled sweetly. "That's an excellent idea," she said.

She turned to the ops room. There were six women milling about. Great. "Listen up, women of the ARC. In case you've read your email this morning, I just want to make something clear."

She then jumped up and kissed the heck out of Becker. When she was done she jumped down, wiped her mouth and said, "He is NOT single. Thank you for your attention." She smiled sweetly and sat at the ADD, leaving a slightly rattled Becker.

"On second thought," said Becker, "I want to change my 'no big deal' opinion."

"Good," said Jess. "I'm glad that you think its awful too."

"No," he said with a smirk. "I think its an awesome idea. Feel free to remind the girls as often as you want, even past the two weeks."

She smiled. "You're awful."

"True, but I am yours," he said with a kiss to her head. "Have to go to work."

Jess watched him leave. She felt more at ease now. She was even scolding herself for getting worked up. Then she saw the OPs women watching him leave too. She really hated ogling.

"Stupid email," she muttered. "I will remind every girl in the ARC. He isn't single."

Jess had simmered down by lunch, but as she stood in line in the canteen, she began to boil again.

"It's silly," said a female tech. "Becker's going to win."

"I know. I'd definitely like to make him un-single."

"He is un-single girls," said Jess, sweetly.

"Oh, hi," said one of them. "Didn't see you there, Jess."

"Obviously. Just to make it clear, Becker is not single."

"I know you two are dating, but he isn't married or engaged, so he's single."

Jess lowered her eyes. "I wouldn't say that again, Mary."

Mary's eyes widened, and she laughed.. "Whoa. You're scary, you know that? Relax, Jess. I'm not going to steal him or anything, it's just that technically, he is single."

"Are you girls talking about that stupid email?" asked Lieutenant Vale, third in command after Becker and Lt. Flowers.

"They are. I'm done," said Jess. "Becker's not single."

"I thought you were done," said Mary, teasingly.

"I agree with you, Jess. Becker is not single. He shouldn't be considered."

"Thank you, Vale."

"And if he's not considered, then obviously, I am the sexiest single man in the ARC."

Mary smiled. "Don't worry, you're definitely in contention."

"Contention?" asked Vale, irately. "I'm way more than in contention."

"Yes, you are," said Jess. "You are the sexiest single man."

"Thank you, Jess."

"You're welcome."

Mary shook her head and left for a table.

"I think you should be very upset, Vale. You aren't getting the recognition you deserve."

"That's very sweet of you, Jess. You're right, of course," he said, flashing a winning, brilliant smile.

Jess giggled. Vale carried both their trays to a table. They shared lunch, giggling and laughing and commiserating over the distress of the email.

To others in the canteen, they looked cozy.

"Hey, Becker," said Connor. "I saw Jess and Vale in the canteen. What's up with them?"

"What do you mean?"

"They were acting kind of weird. They seemed angry about something."

"Really? I was on my way to the canteen to join Jess. Are they still there?"

"Yeah," said Connor. "I hope everything's OK."

"Me too," said Becker.

He walked in the canteen and sure enough, there was Vale and Jess.

"Hi," said Becker.

Vale saluted him, and Jess blew him a kiss. Becker sat down.

"What's going on?"

"Nothing," said Jess.

"Except indignant outrage," said Vale.

"Oh, yeah," said Jess. "Nothing but that."

Becker looked confused. "What are you talking about?"

"How sexy I am," said Vale.

"And how single," said Jess.

Becker rolled his eyes. "You're still going on about that, Jess? It's silly. And you Vale, you've got to be kidding. Who cares?"

"I do, Cap. Look, you're the Captain. I am your subordinate. You can out shoot me, out wrestle me, and out girlfriend me," he said with a glance to Jess, who smiled. "I just want to beat you once, Sir."

Becker chuckled and shook his head. "You're nuts. Both of you, are nuts." He stood up. "I want you two to stop this, right now. Hear me?"

"Yes, sweetie," said Jess.

Becker frowned and walked to get lunch.

"I think I made him mad," said Vale.

"He'll be fine," said Jess, squeezing his hand. "Don't worry."

He smiled. "Hey, there's a bunch of menagerie girls leaving together. It's a perfect opportunity to campaign for myself. Later."

"Go get them," she said, with a laugh.

Vale jumped off, running after the girls, but stopped in front of Becker. He smiled at his commander, but then turned to Jess when Becker wasn't looking and winked at her.

Jess smiled.

Vale ran after the girls, and Jess greeted her boyfriend as he sat beside her.

Behind them, several tables away was a table of female medical staff.

"Did you see that?" asked a nurse named Adele. "Jess and Vale flaunting it in front of Becker."

"Flaunting what?" asked Beverly, an older nurse and friend to Jess and Becker. "What are you talking about."

"Didn't you see them, Bev?" asked another nurse, Tisha. "I can't believe anyone would two-time Becker."

Beverly choked on her tea. "What? That's crazy. They are very much in love. Besides, Jess wouldn't cheat on anyone."

"The evidence was right there, Beverly," said Adele. "The giggling and whispering that stopped when Becker caught them."

"Poor Becker," said Tisha. "He knows too. You saw his face when he confronted them. "I want you two to stop this," he said. Oh, Poor Becker."

"You're jumping to conclusions. We couldn't hear everything they said." said Beverly.

"I know their friends of yours, Bev, but honestly, it was obvious. Poor Becker," said Adele.

"Poor Becker," agreed Tisha.

"You're both silly," said Beverly.

After lunch, Becker and the team had an anomaly alert. It was relatively easy, but Becker had a small claw mark on his hand that Lester insist he go to medical about.

Adele treated him. "Oh, hi Becker. Sit down. You poor thing."

"It's barely anything, Adele. I'm fine."

She shook her head sadly, and patted his shoulder. "You're so brave. You're in denial, though. You're not fine, and its OK."

Becker looked at her in confusion. "No, really. I'm fine. It's just a scratch." Then he smiled. "I am brave though. I can handle it, I think."

She looked at him with compassion. "You deserve better, you know. How some people can treat such good people like you so badly."

"What are you talking about?"

Adele just shook her head. "Don't worry. I'm not one to gossip."

"Adele, I have no idea what you're talking about. I'm fine. No one is treating me badly."

Adele grabbed her heart like it had been wounded. "Oh, you poor, poor thing. Imagine, Jess and Vale betraying you like that."

Becker laughed. "Oh, that, it's no big deal. Vale can have the honor."

"What?" asked Adele, shocked. "He can? You don't care?"

"Not at all. Let him have his turn, but between you and me, it'll be back to me in no time."

Adele looked scandalized. "That's disgusting! You disgust me!"

"What? Why? Let the women think he's the sexiest. I don't care, and technically I'm not single. Jess is right, but don't tell her that."

Adele stared at him. "What are you talking about?"

The stupid email this morning that asked who is the sexiest single man in the ARC. The one Jess and Vale are fired up over. Jess is mad because they called me single. Vale is just vain, and stupid."

Adele was aghast. "That's what they were talking about at lunch? That's what you told them to stop?"

"Yeah. Why? What did you think?" asked Becker.

Adele stood still, blushing bright red. Then there was loud laughter just outside the examination room, and Becker saw Beverly doubled-over and laughing hysterically.

"What's going on, or are all the ARC women just bonkers?"

Becker walked briskly to the ADD. He was a little annoyed but mostly amused. He couldn't wait to see the look on Jess' face.

He swiveled her chair around to face him.

"Becker! Don't do that! You scared me, and made me dizzy."

Becker smirked. "Have I got some gossip for you."

Jess grinned. "Tell me, tell me," she said with glee.

"Well, there's this couple, and they seem very happy and in love."

"Ooh, Go on."

He smiled. "Well, it seems the young lady was spied today having lunch with another man."

"And..."

"They were very chummy, and acting goofy, and laughing."

"Go on."

"Then her boyfriend shows up, and it looks like he's confronting them about being together."

"No!"

"Yes, but then the other guy leaves and the couple have lunch and are all lovey-dovey and sweet."

"That's weird."

"It gets weirder. It seems the boyfriend was in medical earlier and the nurses there all thought, except one, that the girlfriend was a tease and a hussy."

"Sounds like it."

"Then, the boyfriend started talking about the girlfriend and the other bloke, saying he didn't mind and it wasn't a big deal and the nurses thought he was some sort of pervert."

"Uh, yeah."

"Except, it was all a big misunderstanding because the girlfriend and the other guy were actually talking about some stupid email and dumb sexy contest that the boyfriend thought was stupid, and the couple weren't on the outs or perverted, the girlfriend was just silly."

Jess blushed red and frowned at him. "You didn't have to tell the story that way, you know."

Becker chuckled. "Beverly thought it was hysterical, but the other nurses were quite embarrassed. They really thought you and Vale were messing around on me."

"I can't believe they'd think that."

"Connor thought you were acting strange too."

"He thought we were cheating on you?"

"No," said Becker with a chuckle. "He thought you were angry about something. He was right, actually, he just never dreamed it was something so stupid."

"OK, OK. You're right. I'm sorry. I've been over-reacting. I just didn't want the girls to think you were free."

"They didn't. They just thought you were a floozy."

Jess glared at him, and he smiled.

"No more talk about the contest, I promise."

"Thank you."

"You're welcome," she said.

"You owe me, you know."

She narrowed her eyes. She stood up and for the second time that day she jumped up and snogged him senseless in OPs.

"Are we OK?" she asked, dangling from neck.

He grinned. "We're OK."

She smiled and slid down. "Good. By the way, I think you're the sexiest, single or attached."

"Thank you," he said.

"You're welcome."

Vale rushed in. "OK. I've got all the menagerie girls, the canteen girls and the medical girls voting for me," he said. "I think we might be overworking those medics though. They seems a little...off."

Jess stifled a laugh.

"Did they look at you funny, Vale?" asked Becker.

"Yeah, they did. Do you know why?"

Becker smirked and looked at Jess, who blushed. "It's a long story, and should probably be told over a pint."

"Um, OK," said Vale. "Anyway, I just need to work on the lab girls, the research girls, and these girls," he said, looking around Ops.

"Well, you don't have to worry about them voting for Becker," said Jess. "It's clear that he's not eligible."

"Great, thanks Jess. I think it would also help to find the girl who sent the email."

"Good idea. I can find that no problem," she said, typing. "Here we go, follow the IP address and...what the heck?"

At the other end of the IP address was the sender of the email, giggling, laughing and falling out of HIS chair.

"Why'd you do this, Connor?" asked Abby. "You nearly started a war, plus you had people thinking Jess was a two-timer."

"I know," he said. "It worked better than I thought! I wish I could have seen their faces when Jess followed the email." He crawled back into his chair.

"Yeah, uh, Connor, don't you think Becker might be mad? Not to mention Vale? And Jess?"

"Probably." He sat there smiling at his brilliance, then slowly it donned on him. "Oh, Becker and Vale are trained in hurting and shooting and Jess is trained in stomping and kicking. I think I'm going somewhere safe, like hiding in the raptors cage."

Abby watched him duck out his lab's back door as she heard stomps and high heel clicks followed by several voices yelling, "Connor!"

"Hm," thought Abby. "Maybe I should get a "Whose the best butt kicker in the ARC?" going, "Male or Female." there might be a few surprises in that one."

"Abby!"

"Coming, Conn! I'll save you, again," she muttered.

The End, chapter one