Rating: T for adult situations

The ARC's Sexiest Single Man, Chapter Three

"How about just the suit jacket?" asked Jess.

"No. No suit. No suit jacket. No tie. No tuxedo. No penguin outfit."

"Becker, don't you want to look good?"

Becker smirked. "Are you telling me that I don't," he said, crawling across the bed in only his boxers.

Jess giggled. "Yes, but I certainly don't want you at the contest looking like this."

He smiled and grabbed her, pulling her down onto the bed with him.

"Don't," she said giggling. "Becker, we have to be at work soon."

Kissing down her neck he said, "So?"

"So, we don't have time for this."

"Wanna bet?"

Jess ran into Ops, as Lester stood before the ADD tapping his watch.

"I know, I'm late. I'm sorry," she said.

"You're late as well, Captain," said Lester. "Care to explain?"

"I'd be happy to, but I'm not sure you want to hear why we're late."

Jess sat in her chair, and blushed.

"Ew," said Lester, walking away from them.

Jess mouthed the words, "shame on you."

Becker grinned widely.

"Hey, guys," said Abby.

"Ready for the big day, Action Man?"

"No."

"Oh, well, you are going to be there, right? 4 o'clock?"

"Yes."

"Come on, be happy. By the end of the day you could be known as the ARC's sexiest single man," said Connor.

"If you make me wear a crown and sash I will kill you."

"Nah, nothing like that. Although, we should have thought of that!"

Becker growled at him.

"Nice talking to you, Becker," said Connor, walking quickly away.

Abby laughed. "Not too excited?" asked Abby.

Becker glared at her.

"I tried to get him dressed up, but he refused," said Jess.

"It's my uniform or nothing," said Becker.

"The ladies' probably wouldn't mind nothing," said Abby.

"In no earthly, possible way," said Jess, "and over my dead body."

Becker smirked. "Thank you Jess, for reminding me this whole mess has a silver lining."

"Driving me crazy is a silver lining?"

Becker kissed the top of her head, and said, "Yep. I'll see you later. Love you."

"Love you too."

As Becker walked out, Abby smiled. "He's come along way, Jess. You've done wonders."

Jess smiled. "I feel blessed every time he says those words. He's not great at expressing his feelings you know."

"I know, that's why I'm impressed."

"This thing this afternoon, it could be very hard for him," said Jess. "We're all teasing him, but for someone so disciplined and reserved, being ogled in public will be horrifying."

Abby smiled. "It's a good thing you're in charge, so it won't be a Chippendale's show."

"Hardly. It will be tasteful, but festive."

"And easy on the boyfriend-ogling I presume," said Abby.

Jess smiled, "Absolutely."

Jess arrived in the canteen early. A small podium had been put in front of the canteen along with a microphone. She hung a light blue fabric over the plain canteen walls, and clear fairy lights along the top edge.

She moved some large potted plants over by the podium. The plan was to have the men off to the side, where the wall began and then have them come out one at a time, walk down past the podium, walk on for another five feet or so, and then come back.

She needed a place to corral the men, so she took a large changing screen and placed it where she'd have the men. The antique screen was a lovely dark blue, decorated in an oriental fashion, with dragons and trees she thought manly enough for a sexy man contest.

She had one final touch. She lined the podium with fake grape leaves and fake grapes.

"Hello, Miss Parker," said Chef Bernie. "Are you ready?"

"Yes, I didn't do too much. I want it casual and friendly," she said. She really hoped it would be friendly and not resemble a riot.

"Well, the food is ready," said Bernie. "I've made some appetizers, snacks, and even some chocolate treats." He winked at Jess.

"You're so thoughtful. I can't wait. You make such yummy things. Thank you, so much."

"It was my pleasure. Oh, Mr. Lester even OK'd some light alcohol. I sent Ryan out to get some good beer and wine coolers."

"Wow," said Jess. "Maybe that will keep things friendly."

Bernie smiled, and nodded, then went back into the kitchen.

"The MC has arrived," said Connor, wearing a lime green jacket, with tails, and an orange bow tie.

"Wow. I need sunglasses," said Jess.

"I wanted to be eye-catching," he said.

"You are, Connor," said Abby, "You certainly are."

He smiled. "So, everything looks ready. We've got the stage, sort of, and where's the food?"

At that moment, Kimberly and several kitchen workers emerged from the kitchen carrying trays of food.

"Never mind," said Connor.

"Be sure to try the shrimp rolls, the cheese and bacon bits, and the grilled prawns," said Kimberly.

"Oh, we will," said Connor.

Ryan and several security men came in carrying boxes. "Just in time," said Ryan. "We've got somethings to wash it all down."

"That's a good beer," said Connor, taking a bottle. "I'd say we're ready for this party."

"Are you ready?" asked Jess. "Do you have the results?"

"Yep, and I am sorry, but you will just have to wait like everyone else."

"Are the results accurate? Have you made sure the correct man will be declared the winner?"

"Yes, relax."

"Sorry, Connor. I just want the winner to be clear and definite. We don't want any more fights."

"Don't worry, everything is clear and honest. I promise."

"Good."

The ARC members started filtering in. Matt and Emily arrived, and several soldiers came in together, including Becker and Vale.

Jess collected the men who were voted on and gathered them behind the screen. In Matt and Becker's case she dragged them. In Vale's case she pried him away from girls he was smoozing til the last second.

"I think I should claim sabotage," he said.

"In what way, Vale?" asked Becker.

"You, Captain, would not let me wear something debonair."

"You're a soldier, remember? Besides, you're dressed the same as me, Thompson, Carlson, and Muscletti."

"Yeah, you're trying to keep me from standing out."

"Vale," said Matt, "you always stand out."

"Thank you, Mr. Anderson."

Becker shook his head. "Jess," he called out.

She heard him and came over. "Yes?"

"Remind me why I'm here?"

She smiled. "For the good of the ARC."

"Yeah, not good enough."

"OK, how about this? Whether you win or lose, I'm your prize." She smiled, leaned up and kissed him.

"Good incentive," he said.

"OK, people," said Connor into the microphone. "Settle down please. Thank you. First, I want to assure everyone that all the votes were counted fairly. Now, to save embarrassment, I am only calling out the total votes for the top three finalists."

Jess was relieved that no one booed.

"Now, let's have a hand for all the sexy men of the ARC. They all received votes, even though some were not eligible, and they will all walk out for your applause. Here we go, in no particular order. Let's hear it for...Sargent Carly Carlson!"

Carly emerged from behind the screen and walked out in front of Connor down to where Jess stood. Just before he reached her, he turned and walked back, but this time he went behind Connor. He waved to the crowd, then disappeared behind the screen, the crowd cheering the entire time.

Connor continued to call names and the men walked down just as Carly had.

"Private Thompson...Dr. Stanley...Sous Chef Ryan...our own esteemed director, James Lester!"

Lester walked out, waving and smiling. When he got to Jess she whispered, "Tell me you didn't vote for yourself."

"Someone had to. Even if I'm not eligible I owe it to the ladies to appear." He made a sharp, crisp turn in front of her, and walked behind Connor, waving the entire time.

"Next up: Connor Temple!" called Connor.

He left the podium, stood in front of it, posing and bowing, walked partly to Jess, then back to the podium.

"Thank you very much," he said. "To continue...Mr. Epstein...Private Muscletti...Dr. Bohm...Mr. Kein...and finally, Chef Bernie Rice!"

Bernie came out, wearing his chef hat but not his apron. He waved and smiled, giggling at Jess as he neared.

"I think they voted for the food," he said. Jess shook her head at the fifty-year-old, plump chef.

When Bernie was done, Connor called for quiet. "I'll bring out the finalists in no certain order. First, Matt Anderson!"

There was loud, boisterous applause as Matt walked out, bashful but smiling. Abby and Emily cheered loudly. He waved to them and smiled at Emily. He then walked quickly to Jess, smiling at her, then he walked quickly back, waving to the crowd before ducking behind the screen.

"Thank you," said Connor. "Next, Captain Becker!"

There was loud applause, hoots and whistles. Becker walked, smiling pleasantly and waving. As he walked, Jess could see the vein in his neck pop out and knew he was uncomfortable.

Becker looked at Jess and his smile erupted. His pace quickened as she smiled widely at him. When he reached her, he grabbed her hand. The crowd cheered louder at the action, which delighted Jess.

Becker smiled at the crowd, still holding her hand, then he squeezed it and let her go. He walked away, turning to look back once, as Jess smiled with glee.

"And our last finalist, Lieutenant Vale!"

Vale strutted out to loud applause, hoots, whistles, and screams of his name. His smile was dazzling as he waved. He took his time, turning round to show off all his good angles. He chanted his name, whipping the Vale girls into a frenzy. Finally, after taking three times longer than anyone to cross, he stood beside Jess.

"Don't be so shy," she teased.

He smiled and winked at her. Then crossed back just as slowly, crossing in front of Connor instead of behind, much to the chagrin of the MC.

Connor let the crowd cheer, and finally he called for quiet.

"I will now announce the man who came in third with 100 votes, which I don't get because we only have 210 women in the ARC so I guess some men have explaining to do. Please give it up for...Matt Anderson!"

Matt came out, smiling and waving, and looking relieved. He waved to Emily, and then walked behind the screen.

Connor spoke again, "Isn't he sexy! On Matt's behalf, I'd like to thank you all for not rioting. The second highest number of votes, 120. Seriously, did the men vote? I checked, and these are all honest votes from real ARC email addresses. And we had votes for men who weren't finalists, so we had too many votes to be all from the ARC women,"

"Connor!" cried Jess.

"What? Oh, sorry. Let's give up for Becker!"

Jess looked shocked. She couldn't believe it.

Becker came out, waved and smiled, and looked back to where Vale was jumping up and down. "Wait you're turn," said Becker, laughing.

"You lost," said Jess, walking down the 'stage' as Becker stood waving.

"Thank you for rubbing it in," he said with a grin.

"They're insane! How could they not vote for you! What's wrong with you?" she asked the crowd.

Becker shook his head, chuckled, then picked her up and carried her behind the screen.

"That means our winner," said Connor, "is Lieutenant Vale!"

Vale ran out, waving and screaming.

"The Lieutenant got 140 votes making him the ARC's Sexiest Single Man! He's also a champion at kissing up to women and more than a few men, I suspect. Lt. Vale, everybody!"

There was wild applause. Becker and Matt shook Vale's hand and patted him on the back. They both looked very happy hanging on to their girlfriends, while Vale basked in the adoration of many women.

"I still say they're crazy," said Jess.

"How can you be mad that I lost?" asked Becker.

"It's the principle. You are the sexiest," she said. "I'm offended."

Becker laughed, pulled her close and proceeded to make out with her right smack in the middle of the canteen.

Emily laughed. "I am as relieved as it appears Jess is, that my boyfriend will no longer be in the thoughts of so many other women."

Matt smiled. "Are you sure about that?" he asked with a smirk.

Emily elbowed him.

"Good job, Connor," said Abby.

"Abby, I'm concerned. We had over 400 votes but there are only 210 women."

"Please don't tell me you got it wrong."

"I didn't. All the votes were honest, and the computer counted them. There's no mistake."

"So?"

"So, apparently 190 men voted on the sexiest man of the ARC. I find that disturbing, especially since I got 37 votes myself."

Lester interrupted them. "I expect you to keep quiet the fact that I got one vote."

"You got more than one," said Connor.

"Did I?" asked Lester, pleased. "Well women do know a man of distinction, taste, and good breeding when they see one. How many did I get?"

"Oh, 12, actually."

"There are eleven extremely intelligent women in the ARC."

"Yeah," said Connor, than to Abby he whispered, "Mostly women any way."

"Eleven?" asked Abby.

"Never mind, Miss Maitland."

Vale strutted over. "So even with voters disobeying the single men only rule," he said, glancing at Lester and Connor. "I still won."

"Don't look so smug," said Becker. "You didn't win by much, and we didn't have to smooze and charm."

"I am Vale. I must charm, it is the way of my people," he said with a bright grin.

Becker just shook his head. "You're weird. Jess, can we go home?"

Jess nodded.

"What's the rush?" asked Vale.

Becker said, "I want to claim my prize."

Jess blushed.

"Prize? You don't get a prize. I'm the one who won."

Becker smirked, and he and Jess headed out of the canteen.

Vale watched them go.

"Hi, Lieutenant," said Meg, a menagerie aide. "Would you like a beer?"

"I would. Thank you. Aren't you sweet?"

"Excuse me," said Kimberly. "I thought you might be hungry, Lieutenant. I took the honor of making up a plate."

"Thank you, Kim," he said with that Vale smile. Kim blushed as she hurried back to the kitchen.

"Oh, Vale!" called a pretty young lady he recognized as a lab technician, "Come over here and sit for a moment."

Vale smiled. "It's good to be king."

The End