Asking For Trouble

By Vifetoile

Disclaimer: I own nothing of any of these characters. And I don't even know where the idea of Audrey as a Muggle came from, except that it makes some sense. I'm only playing in Rowling's universe for fun and storytelling practice. Enjoy!

Percy looked at the address in his hand, frowning. This road was near Diagon Alley, and by all sources was where his brothers lived, but none of the buildings looked magical at all. It was nothing but Muggle flats in great blocks all up and down… most depressing.

This was a mistake anyway. He was asking for trouble just by being here…

A door opened, and he jumped. A Muggle walked out, a very thin woman about his own age, wearing a baggy jacket and a short skirt. She hummed, looking down at her feet, and glanced up by chance. "Oh!" she gasped.

Percy stiffened at once, indignant. He was wearing his best Muggle clothes, but was he giving himself away that much?

"Are you related to Fred and George?" the girl asked in a loud, nasally voice.

Percy stumbled for a moment on how to respond. She filled in for him, "You must be, with that hair, and look… freckles…" she covered her mouth with a hand. "Oh, sorry, lookit me, there must be a dozen redheads in this part of town, sorry, sir."

"No, I –" he let out a tight sigh, he was running behind schedule, he had to have some knowledge… "As it happens I am looking for Fred and George. Weasley. The Weasley brothers."

"That's them, yeah!"

"You know them?" He took a closer look at the girl. She seemed so Muggle – Muggle in the sense of 'shabby, tacky, or tawdry'– from her frizzled hair (which he strongly suspected was only dyed) to her half-tied shoelaces.

"Oh, sure. Was trying to drop in just now, but they're out. Usually home by this time." She finished walking down the steps. "You must be one of their brothers."

"I'm looking for George."

"Well, he's not here." She shrugged. "I'm Audrey, by the way."

He only nodded. She didn't go away. He asked, to cut the awkwardness, "They live in this building, then? Are you sure?"

"Yeah! Got a nice roomy flat. They cook divinely, too…" she got a dreamy look in her eyes, and Percy inwardly reflected that she looked like the type who could use a few square meals on a regular basis – then he quashed that voice. He was starting to sound like his mother. Besides, Muggle girls were always trying to starve themselves – Penelope used to complain about it all the time. 'Don't think about Penelope.'

The girl interrupted his thoughts. "Well, I think I'll get a cup of tea round the corner. Want to come with?"

"Just tell me – are they all right? Any trouble or – or – I don't know…"

Audrey, who'd been fiddling with her fingernails, looked up. "Fred and George are two very well-adjusted young men. And they en't just faking it, either. I'd be able to tell. They make me feel like part 'a the family." She smiled very slowly.

'Her? Family?' Then he looked at Audrey. She reminded him a bit of Ginny, in the summer after her first year, when she'd had nightmares and ate little and took long walks alone. Damaged was the word he wanted.

For an instant he was secure in feeling superior over a manic little Muggle chick – then she said, "You know, if you stick around I'm sure they'd love to see you."

"No, they wouldn't." Superiority gave way to anger. How dare she? How dare she be so secure in their warmth and welcome? The nerve!

"Are you Percy? They mentioned you, once."

Percy felt his ears growing red. He gripped his arms behind his back. "Oh, did they?"

"Said you'd had a falling out with the family."

"I'd thank you not to talk about things you don't understand."

"Hey, calm down, sir. I've had a falling-out with my family, too."

"I'm sure you have," he snapped.

"Hey! What does that mean?"

Percy turned on his heel and walked away. She wasn't worth a Memory Charm.

ooo

The next week he'd steeled his resolve once more and returned to the dingy Muggle street. The twins, together, could hardly be reasoned with, but if they perhaps didn't return home at the same time, he had a chance. He would talk to George, alone. George would see reason. George was close to Charlie and Charlie was the only one who could have really sympathized, so maybe some of Charlie's rationality would have rubbed off on…

It was a long shot. But, by Merlin, Percy needed something, somewhere to start. It wasn't right to let his family be led –

Dammit. That girl was there again! She was dressed a bit warmer this time, time. She was so – what was the word? Tawdry.

He planned to turn aside, but she'd spotted him. "Hello, Prodigal Son!"

He folded his arms. "I am," he said, "Hardly prodigal. I'll have you know I have been commended for my prudence in money matters."

"Oh, come off it. Its only a nickname." She appeared to have either forgiven or forgotten his fit of temper when last they met. "So, no sign of the twins."

Percy shrugged, trying to look as though this news was meaningless. "Well. You said last week they were usually here by now."

"Well, that was last week. Fred said something about a lawyer meeting—" she flitted her hand in a dismissive gesture, "—and George is probably out with Angelina."

He blinked. "Wait, George?"

"Yeah."

"With Angelina Johnson?"

"Yeah! You know her?"

"At school – I though she was dating Fred?"

"Yeah, they mentioned it, apparently it didn't work out."

"I just – I didn't expect that…"

"Wel, that's school, eh? People change."

"I know people change! Why would Angelina just go from one to the other? Are they just the same to her?"

"Hey, Prodigal Son, calm down."

"I'm perfectly calm!"

"Yeah, and I'm Queen Bess. Take a stress pill, why don't you?"

"Of all the impertinent –"

"No need to go using language like that."

He was about to correct her for thinking 'impertinent' was bad language, but he saw that she was grinning. She was amused? How could she be?

"So, do you want me taking a message?"

"No, don't give them a message."

"Not even that you showed up?"

"No!"

He didn't quite trust her. As a Ministry employee Percy believed that Memory Charms were an essential and fundamental part of a happy Muggle populace, but sadly he was not yet good enough to risk performing one now.

He started to walk away, but she called out, "Hey, now don't leave in a bad mood. Fancy a cup of tea?"

He stopped and turned to look at her. What on earth did she care whether he left in a bad mood or not?

"I said, fancy a spot of tea?"

"No, thank you."

He left. And for an entire week afterwards, he found himself haunted by the strangest, strangest regret.

ooo

So that was why, three days later, when he'd met her at that same flat, he'd accepted her bizarre offer of a cup of tea.

ooooo

A/N: I feel like there might be more to this story, but I haven't quite gotten the right sense of their conversation yet. If I get enough interest, I may add a follow-up. For the moment, though, this piece is begging to be published. Feel free to leave a review!