Welcome To Hell: A Story in Which Things Happen!

Disclaimer: The only things I own are the title, a couple of OCs, and a pocket full of awesome. Please don't sue. You wouldn't get much, anyway.

It all started off so innocently. An average, warm and breezy day, with hardly a cloud in sight. A clear forecast for the entire week, as far as weather was concerned, with lazy days ahead. Birds chirping, friendly people, and an overall air of inactivity and peace. Those rare, quiet days which are easily appreciated. Two such supposedly appreciative people stood on a balcony in the cool fall breeze, watching the sun rise.

"This freakin' sucks." Donald Miller stated frankly, tipping his white coffee mug, half full of rapidly cooling liquid over the edge of the wooden balcony. He watched it fall with a satisfying splat to the ground floor below. Or, more accurately, into the small (dying) rose garden, belonging to the second member of the two-story household, and a very angry sibling.

"Dammit, Donny! You're killing my poor babies!" Shouted Danielle, slapping her twin brother upside the back of his head with her already-empty black mug. The dull 'thunk' resounded throughout the woods surrounding the estate, loud enough to send a flock of nearby birds into the air. "Have some respect for your elders!" she continued angrily, still shaking her mug at him, as if to whack him again.

"Gah! That friggin' hurt! They're just a bunch of stupid flowers, chill out!" Donald replied, rubbing the growing lump on the back of his head. In truth, it hadn't really hurt, considering the fact that just getting to his head underneath that swarming mass of untidy brown hair was already known as quite a feat. He swirled the last swigs of coffee around in his cup, staring out at the rising sun, not quite bright enough to blind anyone yet. Danielle did the same, retaking her place beside him as if nothing had ever happened.

"Besides," said Donald, "the only reason you're considered my elder is because you were born eight-and-a-half seconds earlier. Doesn't count." Danielle, leaning on the balcony whilst readying the same reply she'd always give whenever Donny gave that line, was interrupted the moment she began speaking. And, by 'interrupted', I mean she nearly fell off the lofty wooden perch when a massive explosion rocked the air. Donald, of course, was equally surprised, and attempted (failingly,) to hide the fact that he had jumped just as high. Reflex, he told himself. Unconvincingly.

The 'boom' in question sounded like a hundred sticks of dynamite stuffed into a barrel, if the barrel were made of fire. Loud, angry fire. The twins looked back at each other before turning to their left, which led off to an enclosure away from the house. Technically, a quite recent enclosure, as it was just created by the explosion. The explosion itself, however, was deemed quite the mystery, as Donald had never heard of any type of explosives that could level a large area without leaving any fire or burn marks. His sister seemed to be more concerned with finding out what, exactly, had caused the noise which had very nearly knocked her to the ground.

Despite their curiosity, neither one of them moved for several moments, each of them waiting for any signal of movement, their eyes wide. Of course, NOW the surroundings had to become totally silent, adding a bit of a creepy air to the entire situation. After the initial shock had worn off, Danielle stopped staring into the brand-spanking new Northern enclosure and brushed her jet-black hair out of her face with her fingers. She was the first to move, choking out a jittery "We should check that out." Oddly enough, it sounded much braver than she felt, as she didn't have a large history of looking into things that went 'boom'.

Donald, however, was already inside and rushing barefoot down the blue carpeted stairs by the time she'd mentioned it, leaving her to follow with an annoyed "Hey!" He was secretly glad that the furnace had decided to have another one of its fits and stop working for a few hours at five o'clock in the morning. God knows the noise he'd have made if the noise had woken him instead of just startled him. He chuckled to himself at the ruckus he'd doubtlessly have made, and the thought of it scaring Danielle senseless only made him laugh harder. Danielle didn't have any difficulty catching up to him, her small feet (with actual shoes on, unlike Donald,) practically flying over the clipped green grass.

The two reached the clearing in a matter of minutes, with only Donald out of breath. A fact Danielle was quietly proud of, having been on the school track team before the school had closed down due to 'mysterious circumstances.' It would reopen in a few weeks, along with an attempt to behave as if nothing out of the ordinary had occurred, but that isn't the topic of our story today.

The twins slowed to a cautious pace and walked amongst the evergreens, feet crushing a few pine needles littered amongst the forest floor. With the sun slowly rising, it really was a pleasant sight, the soft orange and yellow glow resting lightly upon the area. It would have seemed much more serene, if not for the one teeny, tiny little problem that had arisen due to recent circumstances.

And by that, I mean that there were bodies lying all over the place.

Not that they were corpses or anything as unsettling as that. A quick investigation into the nearest of the 'bodies' in question by Donald settled the enquiry as to whether they were breathing or not. Although, from the look on his face, you'd have thought that he might have preferred corpses. It probably would have creeped him out a little less than the sight before him.

"Well?" Danielle asked tentatively, still lagging a bit behind (in case there were any more explosions. Not that she was frightened by anything, oh no, certainly not,) as she watched Donald slowly stand up. Donald rose quite slowly, his head bowed, and even seemed to brush the dirt off of his pajama legs pensively. When he had finally stood completely up, Donald took his chin in his hand and scratched for a moment, staring vacantly into the distance.

"Well, indeed," Donald eventually replied.

"What do you mean, 'indeed', nimrod?" Danielle asked impatiently.

"I mean, you might want to see this for yourself. Take a look," He said, pointing, if a bit disbelievingly, at the person in front of him. She drew up close to Donald, and peered down at the mysterious individual.

Her first thought consisted of Well, I know it's cold, but does he really need robes?

The thought immediately following that one consisting of Wait, robes? It totally clashes with the orange hair.

Of course, the thought following that thought was quite jumbled, as she was very confused, and sounded a bit like Wait a minute, and Is that a giant cleaver on his back?, along with a dash of You can't possibly be serious, I must still be asleep.

Danielle came to the same conclusion that Donald had while staring at the figure with weird hair, albeit, a short while later. Her eyes slowly widened as she put two and two together, and the sheer enormity of the situation, as she rapidly gazed at the rest of the sleeping persons, hit her.

Hard.

"Oh…"She began.

"Fuck." Finished Donald, their thoughts apparently being along the same level for once.

They jumped back in shock as the 'figure with weird hair' in question stirred.

'Oh, fuck.' Indeed.