Hey, it's me ^^ I just want to say that this took a very long time, what with all the transcribing of HTML to this and all. This is, in my opinion, one of the best things I've written so far, even it it's a bit unconventional. It took craploads of research, word choice, editing, and imagination to keep the dream alive, and the only reason you're reading this now is because of all the encouragement I received. So, um, enjoy! R&R appreciated, as always!
I don't know how, but Alexander did it. He said I would see light again before the sawing commenced, but I hadn't believed him. I had been glad to be leaving.
But no. Here I am.
When I had awoken, the bloody bastard was standing over me as I shook my mind from the cold daze of death.
What...is...this...
Who...are...you.…
My mind flooded with strange questions of an almost alien nature to me as I struggled to move my fingers. Each delicate nerve tingled and burned as I restored motion to my frame. I realized my wrists and ankles were bound by ropes as though I were tied to a rack, and...
What is...this...pain.…
Gasping in a quick breath of air, I attempted to voice these questions, but I found I couldn't. My words came out as inarticulate moans and breaths of air. In fact, my whole mouth felt dry and empty. With some effort, I turned my eyes questioningly to the smirking Alexander.
Why... How... What...is this?
"This, Daniel, is your new body," came the smooth voice of my captor, strange and echoing in my ears. "It had served its limit in the past, but now it's renewed."
I don't...understand…
I turned my sore neck to my left and saw my own arm, flexed my own fingers. But, my shoulder... That arm had been lost. It was sewn to my body at the shoulder. Horrified, I looked right and immediately regretted it. It was sewn together at the elbow, flesh connecting cleanly to severed flesh. My fingertips, caked in dry blood, had been crudely replaced with two-inch long metal blades. In fear, I let out another primitive noise.
Alexander...what...have you done?
The baron chuckled in a way that made my stomach nauseous. "You are one of my servants now. Didn't you ever wonder why they hid themselves from you? You're unique among them, though, in form and purpose. I have good use for you." With that, he turned away from me and began to walk away down that stone hallway.
No...come back...you bastard... Why... Why would you... No... Stay! Don't go yet! No! NO! STAY! GET BACK HERE, YOU MONSTER!
In my blind fury, all coherent thought melted away as I ripped my arms free of the binds, snapping pieces of wood free of the table. I sat up and violently and snapped free my disgusting legs, becoming fully mobile and rising to my feet. The whole world felt dizzy to me, but I still managed to take those steps towards the baron. But I was too weak to get far: He simply watched as I stumbled, collapsed to my knees, and fell forward to the cold stone floor, my incoherent groans turning to murmurs and sighs.
You... Come...back... No... Come... Stay... Don't...you.…
I passed into darkness.
xxx
When I came to, I was laying on a wooden bed-frames in a prison cell. Alexander had been kind enough to provide me with a large woolen blanket. With my left hand, I reached up to touch my face and felt the slimy remains of my bottom jaw hanging down from my face. I was disgusted with myself. What kind of monster was I? My own tongue, dry from the constant exposure to air, dragged across my fingers and ran across sharp teeth.
How could he...?
I pulled the only human part of my body away from my repulsive face and allowed bitter tears to pour from my eyes.
Do I...deserve this?
My right hand's iron claws dug into the bed-frame, ripping apart the weak wood with little effort. It was done. I was a MONSTER! I could never leave! Grunts escaped my coarse throat as I sobbed, hiding myself in my hands and my shame. I was unlike even the other servants.
I am alone.
All alone.
I stayed in this cell, sulking in my own misery for a long time: I could not see the moon pass, so I knew not how many days went by; nothing came by, but even if someone did, I wouldn't be able to ask anyways. All I knew is that while I was locked in there, a single candle burning to remind me of old times, many days passed, finding me huddled beneath my bedspread.
At the end of my time alone here, I heard someone- or something- walking down the corridor outside. Who was that? I didn't dare look without, and instead pulled my blanket tighter around myself.
The footsteps stopped outside my door. "Here is your cell." Alexander.
"Is...is anyone else in there?" asked the voice of a terrified girl.
How could that...beast forget me?
"Yes," Alexander responded to her. "I haven't forgotten you. Daniel, come to the door."
I stayed where I was.
"Now, Daniel. I am losing my patience."
I remained in place.
The silence went on for another few moments, until I heard the girl let out a small sob.
"Maybe he's dead..." she whispered.
Those three words shattered my heart.
"He's still alive," the baron retorted angrily. "Daniel. Come to the door. Now!"
The girl, frightened now, began crying. My throat closed with misery. She called, "Please! Come out!"
Who is he trying...to torture? Her...or me?
I crawled to the door, hearing my claws scrape across the stone and over the metal door as I rose to my knees. I carefully put my left arm through the bars in the small opening above and held my hand out, palm up.
I heard Alexander sigh with frustration, but heard the girl gasp softly. I wish I could've seen her face. I moved my fingers gently, folding each individually to my palm and releasing carefully to remind her that I was alive. A small, warm hand slid into mine and grasped it. I closed mine gently around hers. She was so young! Why would Alexander bring her here? Tears poured down my cheeks as I contemplated this.
The girl's hand was ripped from mine. Quickly, I pulled my arm from the door, fled to the corner, and hid myself beneath the blanket once again. The door opened and the girl was thrown violently in. It slammed shut and I heard the sound of departing footsteps. With a stifled cry, I heard the girl sit on the bed-frame. She was looking at me. I just knew.
"I'm not going to hurt you, Daniel," said the girl with such innocence.
You would if you knew who I was…
"My name is Mitzi. But I know your name already, so you don't have to tell me it."
I coughed and pulled the blanket tighter around myself, trying to shut out every last bit of light.
I wish...I had died... Damn me... No. Damn Alexander.
"Are you sick?" Mitzi asked, sounding concerned.
I made no sound.
"Are you sad?" she inquired. When I didn't respond, she said, voice wavering, "Are you sad, Daniel? Is that why you're not talking to me?"
I am...sad...Mitzi.…
At my continued silence, the girl burst into bitter tears, a sound that twisted my guts into a cold, tight knot. She cried like this for about three hours, as far as I could tell, before she finally fell asleep. When her breathing became even and quiet, I allowed my cover to fall and looked at her. She was a beautiful little child, so contrary to my own body. It was terrible she should suffer like this. Her face was an expression of pain and unhappiness, and she turned miserably in her sleep.
It's...unfair.…
I laid down next to the bed-frame and rolled over to face Mitzi. I wanted to see the face of someone I didn't hate...or fear. Her face, if peaceful, was the image of innocence. The only indicators of her suffering nature were the wet tears on her cheeks and the tears in her dress.
I spent the night watching Mitzi's delicate features relax and reminiscing on the days I spent reading to Hazel.
Those days...are over.
I'm not going to see her again.
I cried, but made no sound.
xxx
It felt like mere minutes had passed by the time Mitzi stirred in her sleep, moaning and stretching her bare arms over her head. Startled, I pulled the blanket over my body to hide myself. I laid there in this manner, listening to the girl as she sat up and...rubbed herself. For a few minutes, the dim silence was pregnant with tension and emotions. And then, I felt a small hand on my left shoulder through the blanket.
"Good morning, Daniel," Mitzi whispered sadly to me. "I hope you feel better. I'm sorry if I'm intruding in here, but, he made me. I hope we can be friends..." Her voice was thick with misery as she finished speaking, and I heard her begin to cry. "I-I don't want to...to die, Daniel..."
I do... Mitzi, I do want to die.…
I reached my left arm from under the blanket, careful not to expose myself, and rested my hand on her soft knee. She took it in both little hands and squeezed it tight, sniveling. I curled my fingers around hers.
We remained like this until I heard a servant shove in a meal through the slat in the bottom of the door. Mitzi stood up and picked up the bread. I hadn't received meals before, so I didn't know how to hide my inability to eat from my new companion.
I refused any food from her with silence and spent the rest of the day huddled in the corner, wallowing in self-hatred. Mitzi said things, but I didn't listen until she asked me a heartbreaking question:
"Do you have a sister?"
I was dumbfounded. I let out some inarticulate murmurs as I attempted to figure out how to answer her and finally choked out a barely intelligible response: "Ja."
"You do?" Mitzi said, obviously excited to hear me. "What's her name?"
Her name...is Hazel.
I wish I could see her again…
Knowing I could not possibly say that name, I held my tongue and drew in a saddened, trembling breath.
Mitzi's next words were laden with disappointment. "...is she dead? Is that why you won't tell me her name?"
She isn't...dead.…
"Uh-uh," I moaned, choking on my own misery. It felt so awful to speak in such a simple way. I wanted to tell her about my beloved sister; I wanted to tell her about everything. I wanted to tell stories like I had once done and be Scheherazade for a new person. But now...
It's impossible.
Mitzi let out a sad sigh. "I'm sorry if that made you sad. I hope you still like me."
Of course...I still like you.…
I squeezed my eyes tight to hold back the stinging tears.
I felt slightly relieved when finally the time came that Mitzi laid down on the bed-frame to rest. I stayed put, listening to the sounds she made as she stretched and relaxed herself. Then, finally, her voice came, "Good night, Daniel."
Good night...Mitzi.
Once I was certain she was asleep, I stood up to my full height, stretching my tight legs and flexing my arms. All my bones popped as I moved, and I was thankful for the tattered, barely-considerable-as-pants pants I had secured on me with a belt. I walked, more stumbled, to the door and pushed. Locked.
...of course it's locked.
How stupid of me…
Getting an idea, I reached through the barred window of the door with my right arm and felt for the lock.
There it is. If I could just get the tip of my claw in…
I managed to slide the very end of my index finger in, but it wouldn't go farther. Damn. But...why was I trying to leave? I had nowhere to go? Maybe I was going mad.
Maybe I'm...becoming one...of them.…
I squeezed my eyes shut and retracted my arm. Perish the thought! I'd never be one of those louts that Alexander called servants. I wouldn't lose myself.
I backed away from the door and turned to the sleeping girl. Mitzi looked much more peaceful this night. This gave me comfort. I sat next to her on the floor and gently brushed the stray hairs from her face. Realizing how messy it was, I quickly did the same with mine. I pulled my right hand claws through my hair. A finger went astray and cut my face. I gasped in pain and gripped the wound.
After a few minutes of sitting this way, I stood back up and returned to the door, once again peering through the window. It was dark, but I could just make out another door, composed of tall vertical bars, at the end of the short hall. Beyond that, no light broke the shadows.
I sighed and looked down at the stitches on my gut. One sewn-shut wound went vertically to about halfway to my chest, perfectly down my middle. The second was a more messily done, horizontal cut crossing my abdomen. The first was from the sawing, but I didn't recognize the second. It looked, at least to me, like a gutting wound.
Alexander...what have you done to me...?
I dropped to a sitting position in front of the door and let out a huff of air. For all this time, I'd never been hungry, nor thirsty, nor tired. I never had felt any basic human needs.
What...is this?
I stood back up impatiently and walked to the shackles on the walls, lifting the cuff to examine them, something I hadn't done before.
That's when I heard someone move.
I spun around instinctively and saw Mitzi rubbing her eyes and sitting up on the bed-frame. The blanket lay at her feet. I couldn't hide, so I crouched down with my back to her, relying on the hope that she wouldn't notice me.
"Is that you, Daniel?" she asked, standing up. When I met her question with tight lips, she approached. "Why are there stitches in your back?" Her hand touched my shoulder. "Are you h...?" I turned to look at her, hoping she would have an open mind.
No. Was I ever wrong.
Upon seeing my hideous visage, any trace of that innocent curiosity that could have been there melted away, replaced with pure, absolute horror. "MONSTER!" she screamed, backing away from me.
"Ah!" I reached towards her, wrapping my left hand gently around her arm.
"No! GET OFF!" Mitzi slapped my fingers, causing me to jerk away, and ran to the other side of the cell. "No! MONSTER! GO AWAY!"
No... Mitzi...please.…
I rose to my feet and walked towards her, but her shrill shrieks accosted my ears and made me keep my distance. She grabbed the iron tray off the floor and smacked my elbow with it. I cried out in pain, an alien sound even to me and gripped my agonized arm, accidentally digging my claws into the flesh and increasing my pain. I backed away, confused and disoriented, until I slammed into the back wall, winding myself. Losing my balance, I ripped my claws from my arm and leaned against the wall, whimpering quietly. Mitzi's eyes were filled with fear when I made contact. Her screams had fallen silent, replaced by scared sobs. The pain not yet subsided, I tried approaching again.
Please...just listen.…
My advance was met by more screams and another painful smack to the arm. This time, I gasped and coughed, tears falling from my eyes as I fell to my knees. Another bash came to my head. Stars flew through my vision. I was on the ground, crawling for refuge, weeping pathetically. I used the wall to support myself, struggling to my feet, and looked at Mitzi again. Her eyes brimmed with grief, and I covered my face in agony.
I am...a Gatherer...
I am...a Gatherer...
How am I...supposed to live?
I looked at Mitzi again, realizing I was on my knees. I wish I could have spoken to her; I even tried, to some extent. "Aaaah," I groaned, seeking refuge in the innocent eyes. I crawled to her feet, expecting another whack from the tray, but received no pain.
"Are you Daniel?" the girl asked.
I nodded.
"But you're a monster," she mumbled. "Why would you hide from me like that?"
I rubbed my face like she had before, trying to clear the tears away.
I hid...so you wouldn't be scared.…
"You're hurt," she said, and she grabbed the sides of my head with both hands. With her thumb, she rubbed the bleeding cut on my face. At first, it hurt, but then I welcomed this motion with pleasure. She abruptly released me and grabbed the blanket, first wiping her hand with it and them my wound.
"All better," she said, smiling sadly.
I couldn't help it. I hugged her.
Mitzi put her hands on my head. "You're not a very scary monster, Daniel," she whispered.
I never wanted to be scary.…
"You seem like a nice monster."
I tried to smile, quickly realizing this simple expression was outside my range of motion. I don't think I could have been more grateful for such a short phrase, though.
Thank you, Mitzi.