The following is a parody of the infamous cliché that is InuYasha high school fanfictions! If you love these specific type of fanfictions and think you will be offended, please stop here. The story's in Kagome's point of view. No flames please. Constructive criticism is always accepted. Enjoy!
Hello everybody on Earth and beyond! My name is Kagome Higurashi, I'm your average high school student in a not so average high school. That school is called Feudal Shikon High School. Yeah, that's right. Nothing out of the ordinary with that name.
My friends are Sango Taijiya, Miroku Houshi, and Ayame and Koga Ookami, no relations. There's clearly nothing wrong with the name Sango Demon Slayer or Miroku Monk. One more thing about Sango, she's a raging tomboy. Pretty much her mission in life is to make me look better. Go feminine power!
My most hated enemies are Kikyo and InuYasha. I hate them. I hate them. I hate them! Every single ounce of my hate belongs to those two! Why, you might ask? I don't know. I'm just trying to fill the plot here. Work with me!
At this moment, I'm in my bed, held in the arms of blissful sleep, when a screeching alarm sounds through my ears. Using the strength of the Incredible Hulk, I smash my alarm clock like every teenage girl does in the morning.
"Kagome smash stupid alarm clock. Kagome is strongest there is!" I said, referring to myself in the third person.
"Kagome, dear, did you break another alarm clock? Why can't you just press the button on top instead?" My mother's voice sounded from the floor below.
"Come on mom, the clock was begging to be smashed." I "reasoned" with my mother.
"Yes, just like the last dozen were, right Bruce Banner?"
"Now you're seeing things my way." I said proudly. Of course I broke the damned thing. What teenage girl doesn't wake up and smash their alarm clocks? The strange ones I tell ya…
After my victory, I fist pumped as I made my way to the shower. After I was finished, I made my way downstairs in slow motion clad in my *insert lame, unnecessary, and just plain out stupid description of my outfit here*. Oh yes, I was dressed for success!
I walked outside of the shrine grounds and strolled to my *insert lame, unnecessary, and just plain out stupid description of my car here*. This car always has them drooling.
I hopped into my car, turned it on, and cranked up the volume on my radio. Oh Em Gee, my favorite song comes on!
Lyrics lyrics lyrics lyrics lyrics lyrics lyrics lyrics lyrics lyrics lyrics
Lyrics lyrics lyrics lyrics lyrics lyrics lyrics lyrics lyrics lyrics lyrics.
I take the time to reflect on how this song defines me. Is it a coincidence that every single song that's on the radio at any given moment describes me somehow? NAH!
I wind down my window so everyone can hear my beautiful voice.
Lyrics lyrics lyrics lyrics lyrics lyrics lyrics lyrics lyrics lyrics lyrics.
Out of the corner of my eye, I see a guy put up his hand with a finger extended. I instantly assumed he was merely waving so I responded with loud, "Hey there, stranger!" Of course he wouldn't be angry enough to flip me off. That's just silly.
I finally arrive at the building known Feudal Shikon High School. It was crappy. The roof was halfway torn off, the walls looked like they've been bulldozed, and there was a bouncer at the front. Every responsible parent allows their children to attend such a fine establishment. No seriously…
As I parked and exited my vehicle I spotted him. You see how "him" was in italics? You'll see why in a second.
"Hey bitch. What's up?" InuYasha, the dark-haired man, "inquired" rudely.
"Who you calling bitch, asshole?" Yeah my comebacks were all that and a mud pie.
"Shut up, wench. You don't get any smarter do you?" InuYasha replied.
"Wench? Who the hell calls someone a wench?" Random, unimportant, nameless man #1 questioned.
Miroku and Sango showed up just in time to see InuYasha and I kicking the crap out of each other. Yeah, this was a totally normal event.
"Shouldn't we like stop this or something?" Random, unimportant, nameless man #2 asked. He was a kind man, always thinking of the wellbeing of others. If only he had a name…
"Nah, this happens all the time." Sango stated as I threw InuYasha through one of the unstable walls of FSHS.
Miroku used my fight with InuYasha as a distraction and groped Sango ass through her khakis. Did I mention Sango's a tomboy? Well she is…
"Uppercut!" Sango roared as her fist soared up into Miroku's jaw. He flew up in the air and out of sight.
"Seriously, I think I'm going to transfer." Random, unimportant, nameless man #2 wisely stated. It seemed he was the only person with half a goddamn brain cell in this school.
Time stopped as the next person entered the scene. Kikyo. She stepped in wearing a *insert lame, unnecessary, and just plain out slutty description of Kikyo's outfit here*. Do her parents approve of this? Hell, they're probably the ones that dress her.
GRRRRRRR! Yeah it's necessary to growl every time Kikyo's name is said.
"Hey slut." Kikyo addressed me. Why the hell is everyone just out to get me today? First my alarm clock, then InuYasha, now Kikyo. It's a conspiracy, I tell you.
"Shut up Kinky-Hoe! At least my skirt doesn't look like a belt!" God, I'm so damn clever. I stated that like boss.
"Wow! Kinky-Hoe is the most original non-overused insult ever used to describe an anime character written in a fanfiction! Kudos to you Kagome! Kikyo," grrrr "your name is now Kinky-Hoe!" Random, unimportant, nameless man #1 praised me and my originality.
InuYasha, who just stood up from the hole in the wall came over and patted me on the back. Even though we're mortal enemies, he knows genius when he sees it.
Everyone looked up when we heard the telltale sign of Miroku's return to the planet. InuYasha took a big step backward as Miroku's descent came to an end. He's perfectly fine though. He's Miroku after all.
"I-I'm ok."
EDITED!
So that's chapter one for you guys. Don't be disappointed. This is the first of many! Any questions regarding the story, feel free to ask. Reviews are greatly appreciated! Till next time.