Miyuki: [into a megaphone] JUST IN TIME FOR VALENTINES DAY!

Havoc: *is standing guard over my cell, because of my repeated breakout attempts* Quiet down in there, will you?

Miyuki: NO!

Havoc: Where did you even get that?

Miyuki: My Cartoon-Pocket.

Havoc: Your what now?

Miyuki: Hey, WHAT'S THAT! *points over his shoulder*

Havoc: *foolishly looks to where I'm pointing*

Miyuki: *grabs his pack of cigarettes like a boss* Now, let me out and you get these.

Havoc: *sighs* *gets another pack out of the inside of his coat.*

Miyuki: Okay, you smoke too much. You're gonna die of lung cancer before you're 50.

Disclaimer Brett: Miyuki does not own FMA!

Miyuki: HELP ME KOHAI!

Brett: *troll face*

'How did I end up with this?' I thought to myself as I turned off the lights in the last hallway. Lockdown is by far my least favourite job; however, someone had to do it. After a day as trying as this one, I just wanted to get home; but no. I wasn't that lucky. I shut off the last light and was about to finally leave, and to do that, I had to walk past his office. That's when I heard the breathing. It was coming from inside Roys'office. Steady, peaceful breathing. Thinking back, I should have just done what I wanted; walked on by and let whoever it was sleep. Could've gone to sleep myself if I'd done that. Nevertheless, my fighting instinct said a little too loudly and a little too clearly 'You should go check it out, it might be dangerous.' Like a fool, I listened to it. Gun at the ready, I slowly opened the door. Its hinges creaked slightly as it moved so I could see the person. It's someone sitting at the desk, but it's impossible to tell who from the angle. My adrenaline pulses once before I kick open the door and aim my gun at the mysterious figure; trigger at the ready. "FREEZE-" I begin but soon stop in order to choke back laughter. At his desk, sleeping- for the second time today I might add- was the colonel. "Um, sir?" I asked as I walked up to his unconscious body. No reply. Well, hell. I do not have time for this. "I apologize in advance." I whispered in his ear… he didn't even twitch. I grabbed both his shoulders vigorously shaking him, yelling "Up colonel, UP!"

"Uuuuggghh…"he groaned, finally stirring after I must have given him a concussion. I finally stopped shaking him. "That was extremely uncalled for, Lt. Hawkeye."

"I am sorry sir, but please exit the building." I said in my usual bored and monotone voice.

"Why?" he moaned, very much out of character. Again.

"Because colonel, I have had a very long and irritating day, and I would like to get home. I cannot do this, however, until the building is evacuated and locked down."

"Why else?"

"NOW, ROY!"

"Alright, alright." He said. He stumbled out of the room. "You coming?" I closed and locked the door before following him.

It's become a habit of mine to check for weaknesses in people over the years, so I can't help but notice my senior is slightly off balance. Wow; he really is tired. My attention is drawn away from my ever amusing friend when I notice a hallway light turned on by the library. Now, how did I miss that? I go over and look around the room for any sign of life. After a good five minutes of fruitless searching, I flip of the light and lock the door before closing it. Once again, I set foot towards the last open door in the entire building. When I finally get to the entrance/exit, I lock the door behind me and close my eyes as I step into the cool night air. Somewhat renewed by the scents of the darkness, I take another step toward my house and pretty much trip over…Roy…huddled in a little ball…asleep…on pavement…right outside the building…. Now, normally, I would have sighed and helped him up, but, then again, I'm in no mood to be gentle. So, I kicked him. Kinda harshly too.

"Wwwwhhhyyyyyyyyy?" He moans. Hah. Why?

"You can NOT just fall asleep on the street!"

"Why not?"

"Think of your reputation. Your clothes will be dirty and unkempt! Sleeping on cold concrete is unhealthy! You look like a hobo!"

"But I'm out of the building!" He whimpers.

"Ugh." I groan, "I'll carry you to my house, but you walk from there." I roughly hoisted him off the ground. He clambered onto my back and then fell asleep again. Sigh. This guy is surprisingly heavy. The journey to my house seemed like eternity, but eventually we- meaning me doing all the work well the fat sack of lard peacefully slept on me- made it to my glorious shelter. Okay, so maybe he's not that fat, but I'm mad at him. I fumbled around with the key and finally opened the door. Black Hayate rushed to meet me. "Not now, sweetie, I have to put Roy down." I tell him. I carelessly drop Roy on the nearby couch and refill Black's food and water dishes. I scratch Black behind the ear before heading over to kick Roy out. "Hey, Roy?"

"Mmm?"

"Hit the road."

"No."

"Roy. Now."

"NO."

"Come on Roy! Go to your own house."

"Riza, as your senior, I order you to LEAVE ME THE HELL ALONE." He growls. Grr. Seeing as the fat sack of lard was unmovable, I decide I might as well go to sleep. Sighing, I toss him an old blanket and turn off the lights for him. Now, to my room.

~Next Day, Riza~

I wake up so early that the world looked colourless. 5:30 AM. I normally get up this early so that I can finish Roy's paperwork before anyone else arrives at work. I happily flip the blankets off me, happy to start a new day. But first, I can't let Roy sleep in, or he'll be late. So I get up and walk into my living-room. And since I'm feeling normal today, I wake him up nicely. "Colonel, you can get up now." I say, gently patting his back.

"5 more minutes." he mutters into his pillow. He's so much more agreeable in the morning.

"'Kay." I tell him and I really get started on my day. Fed and gave water to Black Hayate. I showered. I got dressed. I aimed my gun at Roy six times because he wouldn't get up. I decided to not shoot right beside him, aka, my couch. I walked Black Hayate. I gave Roy an old uniform of his that he left at my house once (when he burned his entire kitchen because he got pissed off at the steak that wasn't cooking and made his apartment unlivable in for a few days; and so he showed up at my door, saying that he needed a place to stay for a little while, until he fixed it.) that I had kept cleaned and neatly folded. I cooked breakfast for us. And that's where things got interesting. I had made a simple and well balanced meal for Roy and I. Seeing his condition yesterday, I thought he'd need it. We ate the food in complete silence. It was so awkward; I thought I'd be sick. "Say something." I tell him.

"Why?" he asks.

"Because this awkward silence is killing me."

"Well, maybe it wouldn't be so awkward if you hadn't read that paper."

Oh shit, he knows! "Well, then don't draw on pages you know I'm going to file."

"You weren't supposed to file it until after I erased them!"

"If you were just going to erase them, then why draw them at all?"

"Because I was too tired to focus on the print!"

"Okay, seriously Roy, how much sleep did you even get that night?"

Long pause…seriously long pause. "Like…3 hours…."

"Roy! That's not enough sleep too function on! What kept you up that long, anyways?"

"Riza, don't pretend you don't try to 'function' on a half hour of sleep sometimes!"

Seriously long pause from me this time. I can't help noticing Roy's eyes are lit with the fire of determination and annoyance. "That only happened 9 times." I mutter.

"Yeah, 9 times too many! If you can't take care of yourself, don't try to take care of me!"

"Look, it's easy for me to live on only a little sleep-"

"WHY?"

"Because you always leave your paperwork for me to do, so I stay up late finishing it!"

"…..I do?"

"Yes."

"I only can't focus on it because I'm tired."

"And why are you so tired."

"Because I worry about you all night."

"…Huh?"

"What? Is it a crime to worry about the girl I love?"

"What?"

"Yes, Riza, I love you. And I'm not afraid to yell it out to the world. In fact, I'm going to do that right now." Roy walked over to a window and opened it. "HEY! WORLD! I-" his loud proclamation is cut off by yours truly.

"WAIT!" He looks over at me, shocked and slightly blushing. There goes my will power. "I…I love you too." He smiles and closes the window. I smile back, probably resembling a tomato at this point.

Now that my Roy-fetish is out in the open, I'll be doodling him on my work for all of eternity.

Miyuki: *is playing lonely jail music on ocarina*

Roy: *leisurely strolls down the hall*

Havoc: Colonel! You gotta help me! She's been trying to escape non-stop, and getting gizmo's outta nowhere!

Miyuki: *plays Saria's Song*

Havoc: Please?

Roy: Sorry, Havoc, but you're gonna have to stay guard until- holy shiz, how'd she do that!

Miyuki: *Is suddenly standing right behind Havoc* Oh, I just remembered, this is the internet, so I can do whatever I want. See ya. *warps out, and warps Roy to be in the same room as Riza*

Havoc: *shocked face* What's… the internet?

ELSEWHERE

Roy: *Warps in the room*

Riza: Where did you come from?

Roy: Uhhh…long story.

B-B-B-BONUS

Alternate Closing Lines

Needless to say, the rest of the day was slightly awkward between us.

Maybe I should've let him sleep in.

I really should've just left him in his office.

And, of course, by now my breakfast is cold.

This sounds like the plot of a failed fanfiction.

Pffft. Screw gravity. (Okay, I know that makes about as much sense as a dancing peanut playing a banjo while a banana sings the Numa Numa Song, but I actually did consider this as a closing line.)