Disclaimer: I own nothing.

Why I Feel This Way

Chapter One

Edward's POV

"...this is so lame..." I mentally brooded to myself, barely resisting the urge to roll my eyes as I glared at the form in my hands, eying the words with critical disdain that stated about some program for school that I had been apparently forced into, "...I can't believe I have to do this..."

"I can't believe we have to do this," I decided to voice my thoughts aloud to my friend and fellow football player Mike who was sitting next to me in Biology class, reading the same form that I was.

"Right? I mean we seriously have to help some freshman throw a ball around? This fucking sucks. I am so going to find a way out of this..." Mike declared in his usual over-the-top manner, actually crumpling the paper in his hands into a misshapen ball before letting it fall to the floor.

I considered his words for a moment, my eyes lowering to the black top of our elongated classroom table.

"...yeah," I mumbled somewhat morosely as I turned my attention back to the document, reading over the print once more that spelled out how, as seniors who participated in some sport activity for the school, we were to actively take part in the Support-a-Sport program, in which we were to alternate pairing up with a new freshman who is not involved with any athletics and help them learn the basics of our respective sports.

It was a way for the high school to try to recruit fresh blood in their athletic programs, I recognized right away, and was actually okay with that aspect.

The part mentioned in the document of how the group of freshman we seniors were to mentor were all from the learning disabled classes...that was the part I did not know how to take.

Was this some sort of charity act brought on by the high school?

Were we all going to look like total fools doing this?

I groaned at my internal questions and raised a hand to my eyes to pinch the bridge of my nose, trying to ward off the headache I could feel forming behind my left eye, knowing that class was about to start any minute.

X

One week later...

"You guys suck...I'm actually looking forward to this...it'll be like having a little buddy for a while!" Emmett beamed his positive outlook upon us all, shadow-boxing in place and throwing a few punches that actually looked quite skilled as he, Mike, and I chatted while waiting for our freshman charges to arrive.

"Yeah, right...more like a whining step-child who won't even care about what we're trying to say to them," Mike's dramatic tone actually made a little more sense to me that Emmett's sunny point of view, as I let my gaze quickly sweep across the football field where several seniors, boys and girls alike who were all involved in one or more sports, stood waiting.

I recognized nearly everyone here, able to remember which team they were on as I watched who was talking to who for a split-second apiece.

"Maybe this won't be so bad...it's only a few times we have to do this...just get a grip and get this over with..." I mentally scolded myself for continuing to dread the event, however pathetic it was to me, as I sighed impatiently and continued to scan the crowd.

"What do you think, Eddie?" Mike's question suddenly reached my ears, drawing my attention to them and their expectant eyes and expressions and away from my dreary line of thought.

"Hmm? What do I think? This is a waste of time, that's what I think..." I replied coldly, voicing more of my true opinion than I think they had been prepared to hear as Emmett winced a bit at my words.

"Oh shut up, asshole. This will be fun," Emmett provided again with another bright smile, a smile that made me actually want to believe his side of this situation for a moment, before a sudden noise caught my and everyone's attention to the left of the field.

Students scampered off of a bus that had pulled up on the drive, no real order present in the way they approached where we stood as some of them laughed and hurried while some kept their eyes focused on the ground while they slowly walked.

"Sweet! They're here!" Emmett chimed once again from above my head, his words making me swallow hard at my sudden darkening mood.

"Yep...they're here..." Mike's sarcasm coasted through the air as well, his tone more than dry, as we watched the young faces make their way over to us, a few teachers now exiting the bus and catching up to them all as well.

Almost as if we all needed to face off in a toe-to-toe fight, they stood before us, allowing me to seek out most of their faces with ease, as I spotted a young girl with long, brown hair who seemed to be completely incapable of picking her eyes off of the ground.

I frowned at the image, before looking over some of the others we were to be working with, seeing more than a few evidently mentally challenged people as they stood awkwardly, could not keep their attention intact, and appeared to be simply ignoring every word that the instructors were telling us.

I grit my teeth and turned my gaze towards the opposite direction, seeking out the one instructor of the program who was speaking and pairing us all up.

"Edward Masen...?" the pleasant-voiced teacher whom I knew to be Mrs. Esme Cullen spoke with a smile.

"Here," I offered as I raised my hand.

"You will be paired up with...Angela Webber," Esme noted cheerily, her words prompting a mousy girl with glasses to snap her attention over to me upon hearing her name being called.

I looked over and she grinned politely before lowering her eyes once more.

"A girl...? Okay...she looks like she can barely hold a football, much less throw one properly...this should be interesting," I wondered to myself, deciding that Esme's choice to pair me up with this bean-pole of a girl did not really matter, any choice was a choice just the same.

As I internally shrugged my shoulders, feeling relatively indifferent to the whole set-up, and began making my way over the frail-looking girl, I heard a most peculiar name, a name that for some reason compelled me to stop dead in my tracks.

"Jasper Whitlock...?" Esme's voice asked.

As if everything was suddenly put into some sort of clear perspective, as if something somewhere was controlling my actions and making me turn my head towards the opposite way upon hearing such an odd name, I did exactly that and turned around.

That was when I saw him.

That was when I saw him and nothing else for I don't know how long.

That was when everything changed.

Stepping away from his group of freshmen, a tall boy with broad shoulders and bright blonde curly hair presented himself to Mrs. Cullen, his eyes not meeting hers or no one's for that matter as he appeared to be lost in his own world.

I was confused in an instant.

I was struck beyond belief at how I absolutely did not want to stop looking at him.

And for reasons I could not even try to understand at this time, reasons that I was not ready to accept yet, I was lost in him.