Author's note : Aw right, this is K, and we are here with mister Deadpool. Chapter 2 here we go.
Deadpool woke up in his single bed. A bit hazy, but still good to go. After brushing his teeth and washing his face, he put on his usual attire, the black and red leather suit with a red mask to go with. And then a black suit with red tire and the guns and pouches underneath the jacket. The katanas hang over his shoulder should complete the image.
"A suit ?"
"You got work at school. A bit less intimidating, but I heard the females staffs are quite alright."
"Then we are good to go." Deadpool said as he snatched a slice of pizza before heading to the door. The door was opened to reveal Ruby holding a stack of paper.
"Ruby ?"
"Mr. Deadpool. I am here to show you your office to school, also the opening ceremony." Ruby said. "And to your working space. You are registered as doctor of the school. I assumed that in your life of merc you know how to treat a wound ?"
"I'm not as good as that sissy Weasel or the fat ass Killbrew, but I can patch myself up."
"Oh dear god, Dr. Deadpool. Can you imagine how that sounds ?"
"Uh huh. And complete with a doctor coat. Everyone wants to meet he awesome Deadpool. Say Ruby, how's the students here ?"
"They are okay I guess. I am friends with some of them, and they are nice."
"Good good. Lead the way. Off we go."
As they walked through the eerie woods, Ruby told him about her past, the meeting with her friends and how she ended up here. And of course, everything ended with her trademark phrase "Many many things happened."
On another side of the Campus a young boy with unruly black hair was in a tug-a-war with two hot girls. One of them had long pink hair and a smoking hot body while the other had blue hair in a ponytail and a body most women would kill for.
The lucky son of a bitch in the middle is Tsukune Aono. The reason he was in the tug-a-war between the two beauties, whose names were Moka Akashiya and Kurumu Kurono, was because Kurumu had come onto him again by rubbing her breasts against him nearly making him pass out. Moka had not liked it so much and began pulling him away, but Kurumu began pulling back creating the tug-a-war.
Then a knife made of ice came from nowhere and struck Kurumu in the forehead making some blood gush out. Another pretty girl came out from a bush, and by that I mean a tree, not the dirty thoughts you perverts have in minds. She was wearing stripped purple stockings, white shoes, the standard girl's uniform skirt, a white sweatshirt with blue sleeves, and a black singlet underneath and had a belt strapped to her left thigh. She also had short purple hair that went down to her shoulders, deep blue eyes and a lollipop in her mouth. To finish her look she had a small yellow pendant around her neck. Her name was Mizore Shirayuki.
With that happening Kurumu and Mizore engaged in their usual cat fight by trying to bonk each other on the head standing in one spot, but swinging their arms at each other. It was quite a comical sight.
"Tsukune-san, Moka-san !" A young girl voice called out. It was girl that looked to be only 12 years old. She has short brown black hair and purple eyes. She wore a different kind of uniform than most of her classmates. She wore a yellow pleated checkered skirt like other female students, but she also wore a brown cape, a pink top, a yellow bow to keep everything together, and a light brown witch's hat. She also wears brown shoes and pale yellow knee socks. In her hand she was carrying a wand that looked like it had a pentagram attached to the end. This was Youkai Academy's smartest, youngest student and final member of Tsukune's Harem, Yukari Sendo.
"Hello Yukari-chan." They both greeted.
Tsukune eventually managed to break the fight between the Succubus and the Yuki-Onna making them both blush because Tsukune touched them both and when they saw each other's blush they glared at each other.
Eventually they just began talking about stuff when Yukari spotted a bunch of big guys coming their way. There must have been at least five of them and each of them supported nasty grins on their faces.
"Um… guys." Yukari said nervously.
"What is it Yukari-chan ?" Tsukune asked. Yukari simply pointed ahead of them and each of them stood up and stood in front of Tsukune protectively. The apparent leader laughed as he stopped in front of them.
"Look at this boys, little clown Aono needs a bunch of girls to protect his pathetic hide."
"What do you want ?" Moka asked slightly nervous, but attempting to put on a brave face.
"Well that's easy." the leader said. "We want what every guy on this campus wants. The four beauties of the Academy that hang out with this wimp. And we are not leaving until we get what we want."
"It's only Monday and we already got to fight jerks like them." Mizore said in a calm sarcastic tone "Not cool." Yet despite her tone she was nervous. These guys were huge and slightly intimidating.
They began advancing towards them when they heard the sound of a punching, kicking and grunting and the loud noise of a cross motor. They turned around to see one of the guys get thrown towards them and onto the ground. His face was all messed up and bloodied.
And if you wondered what happened, we should go back a moment earlier. As Deadpool and Ruby walked towards the school building, our lovely Merc picked up the word "clown". And Hell hath no wrath like Deadpool roundhouse kick a clown Chuck Norris style.
Upon hearing this, Deadpool pulled out a chainsaw and pulled the start cable.
"Where is that clown ?" He yelled. "And they call me insane, but I knew it. No matter what happened, a clown is always involved somehow."
And then he ran off, leaving Ruby flabbergasted behind. Deadpool ran off to the nearest commotion, and with that I mean the showdown between Tsukune's harem and the gang. And of course, most of the gang members started to transform and attacked Deadpool. Of course, what do you gonna do when you have a guy dressed in a suit with a mask on running at you, a chainsaw in hands screaming "Where is the clown ?" ?
But I never said it was a smart move to attack Deadpool. Deadpool kicked the first guy square in the face with both feet planted on him, even before the poor boy was transformed. Deadpool was serious about finishing that dude off, but then again realize the job, and the boy was a student. And anyone who knew Deadpool should know he was not one to fail a job, especially where lots and lots of cold hard cash is involved.
And which brought us back to the present. Deadpool, still a bit enrage by the name of clown, keep screaming.
"Where is the god damn clown ?"
Tsukune, who was smart enough, quickly pointed at the gang leader and yelled.
"He is the clown."
Which followed was an epic battle, and even though one sided, Deadpool won. I couldn't bring myself to tell you the original version without breaking the T-rate of this story…
"Awe man." Deadpool muttered. "F-beep-k the god damn censoring system. Dude, you did just censored me."
"Well excuse me if I try to me a gentle man." I sighed. "Okay fine I will tell an alternate version without the gore and all that you had planned."
"Well fuck you mister nice guy."
"Ignoring, deep breath… okay we are good."
And here we are, the showdown between Deadpool and some unknown gang leader ( seriously, a side character that only appeared in one chapter and prompted to get his ass kicked by the main character should not have name ).
"You got a death wish pal, no one jumps one of my boys for no reason and lives to tell about it." Deadpool gave a fake yawn and waved his hand dismissively.
"Why do you talk that much, you don't deserve this much screen time."
"What the fuck are you talking about ?"
"Nevermind."
"That's all you got. Say something you little shit." The leader charged for a punch.
He was blocked when Deadpool's feet came down from above and landed on the face. Deadpool simply teleported and came down as the huge guy fell on his back to the ground. Deadpool began stomping on the guy's back hard making him grunt and cry out in pain.
"Leader's down." One of the conscious goons said. "We've gotta help him."
The other two were shaking. "Are you crazy, there's no way I'm taking on that psycho."
Deadpool kept stomping on the guy's head hard enough to crack the ground and kept stomping until half of his head was now buried in the ground. The others winced from the sound of the ground cracking. Well either it was the ground or the guy's nose, but they didn't know and didn't want to know.
Deadpool, meanwhile, was having so much fun stomping on the clown's head.
"It should be making squeaking noise, right ? Well whatever. One pretty flower down, two pretty red noses down, three pretty big shoes down…" Deadpool kept singing while counting how many times he had hit the "clown". After he was down, he turned back to the goons, who were stupid enough not to run when they had the time.
"Now first question, what are you doing to these kids ? Innie minie mynie mo." Deadpool randomly pointed. "You, asshole in the middle, answer."
"I guess we were going to ruff up that Tsukune kid a bit." Next thing he knew he had a foot stuck between his crotch sending him to the ground in pain and fell unconscious, shocking all others present.
"Correct." Deadpool said and stood up to face the other ones. "Now the next question, answer it right and you get a prize. Why are you bothering these guys?"
The other two guys were shaking badly. "We were sick of him getting all the attention of the girls." Then before either of them could blink they were pounded down into the ground by lightning quick punches and kicks.
"Ding ding ding, correct answer. Your prize is a beating from the world famous Deadpool." Deadpool laughed, but then switched to serious. "Now go and apologize or else the next time I'll make you an appointment with lady Death herself."
They all screamed in fright and picked up the unconscious ones and ran away screaming sorry at the top of their voices, leaving the leader with his face stuck on the ground.
"Hey kids, you good to go ?" Deadpool asked in perfect Japanese.
"Yeah." Tsukune said. "Thanks for stopping those guys."
"I didn't do it for ya kiddo." He said, "I just want to beat the shit out of a clown, that's all."
"Um… who are you desu ?" Yukari asked.
"Remember the name Deadpool." he introduced "I'm a part-time Merc, and I'm the new doctor here, you can call me Doc, Dr. Deadpool or Deadpool-sensei. Any questions ?"
As none of them asked anything, Deadpool walked away.
"A'right." He said, "I gotta go now. I still need to prepare my speech at the ceremony. See you guys 'round kids."
Author's note : Okay so that's it for today people.
"Aw come on, I didn't get much 4th wall breaking time much." Deadpool whined.
"You got to beat up a clown, so get over it."
"Okay fine. So what are we going to do tonight ?"
"What we do every night Deadpool. Taking over the internet."
They're Deadpool and The K Before each night is done They're Deadpool and The K They'll overthrow the Web
Yes, Deadpool and The K
One is a genius
The other's insane.
They're fanfic addicts
Their genes have been fucked
They're wacky
They're Deadpool and The K, Deadpool, K
Deadpool, K, Deadpool
Their plan will be revealed
By the dawning of the sun
They'll take over the net.
Yes, Deadpool and The K
Their insane campaign
Is easy to explain.
To prove their worthless bet
They're wacky
They're Deadpool and The K, Deadpool, K
Deadpool, K, Deadpool !