How to Liven Up a Cahill Christmas
Author's Note: This story doesn't actually have anything to do with Christmas, but I felt like having a story with Christmas in the title. This story sort of sucks, but I was bored.
Disclaimer: I don't own the 39 Clues, or any fairytale (duh)
It was seriously awkward. Everybody was just sitting around in silence, not quite knowing not to do.
"How much longer till dinner?" asked a bored Madison
"We haven't even had lunch yet." replied an equally bored Natalie
"Isn't there something we can do, this is the most boring reunion ever. And we're Cahills; nothing we do is ever boring!" said Reagan
"That's not true! I still have nightmares about the museums Amy dragged me to during the Clue Hunt!" yelled Dan
"Oh get over it already will you?" snapped Amy
Once again, the room settled into an awkward silence
"How about we play a game?" asked Ned
"No way dude, we should do something more fun, like karaoke." said Jonah
"Karaoke, are you serious? We should watch a movie or something." said an incredulous Hamilton
"Dan broke the DVD machine." said Amy
"Shit, what should we do then?" asked Hamilton
"I know! We could tell stories!" said Reagan
Ted looked at her in disbelief
"Stories, seriously?" he asked
"Well what else is there to do?" she replied
"I for one, agree with the Holt." said Ian
A chorus of "Yeah, same" was heard from everybody around the room
"So… Who's going first?" asked Amy
"I will!" said Jonah
"Wait, can we do parodies of books or movies? I don't really want to have to invent a story." said Ned
"That sounds reasonable." said Natalie
"Only because neither of you have any creativity!" said Hamilton
"And you do?" asked Sinead
"Point taken, but can Jonah start his story now?" Hamilton asked
"Ok, well, once upon a time, there were five princesses called Amy, Sinead, Natalie, Madison and Reagan. Every night, they lock their bedroom door and go to bed, but their shoes are all worn out. The maids got kind of pissed at having to repair the shoes all the time went to the King and told him about the shoes. King Jonah-"
"You mad yourself king?" asked Ian
"Yeah, so?"
"You do realize that makes Natalie, Amy, Sinead and the Dolts your kids right?" Ian asked with a smirk
Jonah realized that he hadn't quite thought the story through.
"They're not my kids, the old King was my brother and when he died I became king. I then married his wife, so they're sort of my step kids." said Jonah
"As disturbing as it was to be Jonah's daughter, can we please get on with the story?" asked an impatient Amy
"Sure, so King Jonah was confused, but then, he was all like, I know, I'll set up a contest to find out what they're doing! So he went and set up this contest where you had three days and nights to find out what the princesses were up to, if you succeeded, you got to marry one of the girls, if you failed, you'd have your head cut off."
"Seriously? that's sooooo cliché." said Natalie
"Shut up, I'm trying to tell a story. So anyway, a bunch of dudes come and they all fail. But one day, a travelling soldier. Err, who wants to be the soldier?" asked Jonah
After a lot of arguing among the guys, it was decided that Dan would be the soldier (i.e. everybody ganged up on him).
"So Dan saw this poster advertising the contest and he was all like, hell yeah 'm signing up for that, those princesses are hot!"¨
"I would never say that! I'm a ninja, ninjas don't talk about princesses and they don't use the word hot!" cried Dan, whose face was bright red.
"Get over it, anyway, Dan was on his way to the castle when he met this old woman who gave him an invisibility cloak-"
"Just like in Harry Potter!" shouted Hamilton
"Err, yeah, so this woman gives him an invisibility cloak and tells him not to eat or drink anything that the princesses give him, and to pretend to be asleep until they leave. Once he gets to the castle, he's shown to his room, and the eldest princess", Jonah paused as he tried to remember who was the oldest out of all the girls, "Amy, gave him a cup of wine, but Dan remembered the advice the old woman had given him and threw the wine away secretly and pretended to fall asleep. The princesses think that Dan is asleep, so they put on party dresses and go through this trapdoor they have in their room. Dan hears them so he puts on his invisibility cloak and follows them out. By accident, he steps on the youngest girl, Natalie's dress, but when Natalie tries to tell her sisters that something is wrong, her other sisters just think that's she overexcited."
"We are not that stupid!" said Sinead
"Yeah, stop making us up to be bimbos!" said Madison
"What do you want me to do?" asked Jonah
"First of all, make us less stupid and second of all, do I have to marry Daniel at the end of this story?" asked Natalie
"It's Dan, D-A-N, not Daniel!" yelled Dan
"Shut up Dan, but yeah, make us cool or something." said Reagan
"Kay, sure, I guess this story isn't going to be quite what I thought it was going to be. But once the girls got to the party, they realized their sister might not have been overexcited, and that maybe there was somebody there. So Madison and Reagan, who were the most violent", he paused receiving glares from the two girls, "and the most expertly trained in karate were all like 'Hi-yah!' and beat Dan up."
"Hey!" said Dan
"Oh shut up Daniel, Jonah can't make everyone happy you know."
"Yeah Dan, the Cobra's right. And after Dan had been beaten up, the King realized that he didn't have to know every detail of his daughter's lives, so he let Dan go free, let the princesses carry on dancing and told the maids to stop complaining about his step-kids shoes. So they all lived happily ever after, the end." said Jonah
"Thanks for finishing the story like that Jonah." said Sinead
"You're welcome, but I'd like a reward for it." said Jonah mysteriously
"What kind of reward?" asked Sinead innocently. Everybody face palmed themselves, Sinead had to be the only person in the room who had no idea where this was going.
"A kiss." said Jonah
"No way!" screamed Sinead. She looked to see everybody laughing at her
"Fail dude!" shouted Hamilton
"Why's everybody laughing?" asked Sinead, Hamilton realized how cute Sinead looked when she was confused.
"Cos you're the only one who didn't get that Jonah wanted to kiss you!" said Amy inbetween bursts of laughter
Sinead felt stupid, even Amy had seen what had been coming.
"Don't feel too bad Sinead." said Hamilton sympathetically
"Who wants to go next?"
Who do you want to tell the story and what story do you want to hear? Also, can somebody come up with an OC for Jonah? I'm a Hamead shipper.