A Part Of Me

Disclaimer:

I don't own FairyTale, only this twisted AU plotline :D

Dedicated to:

All my reviewers from Colours Other Than Gray, FF user or not.

Your thoughtful comments and appreciation for my first story made me feel obliged to write a sequel (:

Enjoy!

Just as a slight legend:

italics = flashback of the past/thoughts (should be pretty evident which is which when in use)

bold italics = thoughts while in flashback

I had this whole format thing on Microsoft Word but when I uploaded it to Doc Manager, everything just turned to the basics. -sigh- Please tell me if the formatting is confusing and I'll try to figure something out :D

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I couldn't believe it.

Stumbling back, I tried to wrap my head around the information I had just received: Poison. Gone. Will. The same words repeated and circled around my head until the last two finally popped up:

For you.

Tears slid down my cheeks as I felt the urge to sink and melt into water, to dissolve along with it and become nothing. "AAHHHHHHHHH!" I shouted angrily, staring aimlessly at the sky as my strength gave way. I would've fallen to the ground if not for Lucy Heartfilia, friend, roommate, and also the one who had delivered the news. When I saw her standing just outside our apartment building as I was coming home from work, a deep churning had already built up within my stomach. She caught and held onto me, her warm hands a form of comfort. Deep down, I knew that she was trying to help, but pain blinded me from everything. I ripped away from her, wanting to just be on my own. I wish she would just let me fall…let me hurt….let me die.

Darks clouds started to form and then the sky too began to cry with me as heavy raindrops pelted down from the starless night sky. I stood there, hands balled up into fists as I braved the downpour. I glared down at the ground, blinking furiously, partly to keep my vision clear, but also in hopes that I could somehow wake up from a horrible nightmare, and find him still sleeping in the room next door, snoring lightly. He'd be curled up in bed; black hair tussled from tossing and turning, while his head rests on the pillow he hugs the most.

Yet a roar of lightning brought me back to the harsh reality that surrounded me: He was gone.

"Why?" I screamed, raising my head up to look towards the heavens. "He wasn't supposed to die…HE WASN'T SUPPOSED TO DIE!" I backed up against the wall outside of my apartment building and crumpled to my knees, holding my crying face in my hands.

"He wasn't supposed to die…I was."

Another slice of guilt tore open my heart as I realized the absolute truth in those words. He never should've ― would have ― died, I thought. If he never met me, he would've never had to die. I pounded my fists against the ground, again and again until blood seeped out and mixed in with the rain. I couldn't tell though, couldn't feel the pain through my hurt and rage. If it weren't because of my affinity for water that told me something had contaminated it, I wouldn't have caught on.

I couldn't tell because I was colour blind.

Since I was born 17 years ago, I had always been this way. On the dark-gray cement, I couldn't tell the difference between the shades of "red" that blood was supposed to be as it merged with the rain. There was never any colour in my world except for white, black and ―

I shut my eyes, trying to block everything out.

"Juvia?" Lucy asked, crouching down tentatively to inspect my injured hands. My sudden pause in movement was what had alarmed her. "Are you okay?"

I couldn't reply. In the darkness of my mind, I recalled to another time when my sight had been robbed, where HE had silently sneaked up on me in order to cover my eyes with his cold hands.

"Oh!" I shrieked, caught off guard by the sudden coldness that blocked my eyes. Placing my warm hands over it, I said in a knowing tone. "Gray? I know it's you. Care to let me see now?"

"How did you know it was me?" He complained in an exasperated tone before returning me my sight. "What are you doing?"

"I'm putting my number into your phone. See here? I'm entered under 'Gray's." I replied, smiling smugly before chuckling at his incredulous expression. "You're my center, Gray, the core of my existence now, so of course I knew it was you; I'm yours, remember?"

His. I was always supposed to be his. I thought grimly, another shake from Lucy returning me to the present. Instead of replying, I simply sat up and hugged my knees, burying my face into it as more salty tears fell to blend in with the ongoing rain.

Gray.

He was one of only 3 colours that I had in my life, and also the only person I'd ever wanted.

Or rather, the only person that had ever wanted me.

"Gray is a wonderful name, don't you think?" I said, after I told him about my deficiency. "In my world of black and white, you fit in perfectly, right in the middle."

He didn't treat me any differently. To him, I would always just be Juvia: a fellow magic user, petite size, and dark sapphire eyes with long blue hair; only according to him though, because from what I could see, my eyes were simply a darker shade of gray than my hair. To him, I wasn't weird or different. To him, I was irreplaceable.

"Too naïve," He told me once, a few months after we got together. "You look so perfectly snatch-able."

I laughed at that, leaning into his sturdy shoulders and sneaking my hands into his. "Oh really? Is that why you've snatched my heart away then?"

"Wha ― what are you saying…" He replied back, expression changing into one that look so flustered and cute I swore it should've been illegal on a man. We were both silent for a moment; him calming himself down while I laughed quietly. "And if I say yes?"

"Hmm…" I drew it out, and pretended to have to think hard about it. I couldn't help myself; the way he looked at me, nervous and scared, like losing me would end his world; it was so ridiculous. I couldn't understand why he would ever want to be with a girl like me; so plain, and with colour blindness too. Nothing about me stood out, but for some reason, he still found me. And I would never let him go. "So you've come to snatch my heart away? Well then… I'd happily hand it over to you." I answered with a smile, and snuggled even closer to him to share our warmth.

"Good," He mumbled in embarrassment, wrapping his arm around my shoulders. Something changed in the atmosphere all too quickly, and I could sense a smile creeping onto his face. "because you know that heart I just took? I plan on keeping it with me. Forever."

My heart fluttered at that moment. Him? Me? Forever? It sounded too good to be true, but I was willing to trust him in that promise.

Turning my head to look him straight in the face, I gave him the same response as he did me.

"Good."

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In the end, it WAS too good to be true.

I stayed outside for the entire night; willing for the harsh downpour of rain to crush me, though it actually served as a form of comfort. With all the water around, trying to soothe me, I contemplated the reason for my existence now. He's gone and left me alone, I thought repeatedly, he lied. If he really kept my heart with him, why was I still here now when he wasn't?

Again and again, fresh waves of tears broke out as I thought back to all of our times together. From the first moment I met him, I could tell that he was special. He'd used that to make a point of my naivety, insisting that I shouldn't trust someone when I hadn't even gotten to know them, but I told him that wasn't it: I'd felt it, this strange sensation that told me he was kind, trustworthy, and a friend. I knew he didn't believe me, but I wasn't wrong.

He turned out to more than I could have ever hoped for.

Or would ever hope for, for that matter. In our disbelieving world where mages were dwindling, he was also one of the gifted, like me. I couldn't believe it when he told me he wielded the power of ice.

"Together." I said one day, turning around so I could look at him face to face on the soft white couch in my sun-lit living room.

"What?"

"We create together. You ―" I paused, and smiled as I reach my hand to caress his cheek. "You need my water to create ice, and once it melts, it becomes mine once more, just as you are."

He put his broad hand over mine, his easily covering it. "As are you."

We spent the rest of that afternoon chattering about whatever popped into our heads. He told me about his mentor Ur, who trained and took care of him as a kid. I told him more about my colour blindness, about how I'd been told at the age of 13 that I would be permanently blind by 18. Since I was 15 then, I only had another 3 years left of sight.

His face went grim after that. He's upset, I thought quietly to myself. I should've known that would happen, but I figured that he had a right to know if the girl he was with was going to be blind soon. It turned out that it wasn't for the reason that I was thinking of though; his distress was caused by concern for me.

"How can you still look so happy?" He asked, managing to force a smile for me in a feeble attempt to cover up his sadness. "How can you just accept what's going to happen to you with a smile?"

"At least I had it once." I replied, and turned up the corners of my lips into the smile he was talking about. "God's given me his blessing already. He let me meet you before I couldn't see anymore, and that's more than I would've asked for."

He couldn't say anything to me after that, probably because he didn't want me to get upset about the matter anyways. We sat on the couch and made ourselves comfortable, with him grabbing some snacks to much on and me getting a light blanket for him when he said he wanted to lie on my lap. As I smoothed over his jet black hair, he brought up the original question again. "Be honest this time: Why did you tell me?"

I sighed. Again. What can I do to make him believe me? I thought incredulously. No matter how much I insist, he didn't seem to believe my explanation. I couldn't help but laugh. "I could tell," I repeated, for at least the thousandth time I was sure. "You had that feeling...I just knew it when I first met you, that you were one of us for sure."

He chuckled so quietly back then, shaking his head at my logic. "You're being unreasonable."

"I'm the one being unreasonable?" I faked anger, widening my eyes as I looked away. "If it weren't for my being unreasonable, you wouldn't be lying on my lap right now."

"Haha! True…true." He said, surrendering with pleading eyes as he took my hands into his. "I love your unreasonableness, your instincts, and a you that is just you. Will you please forgive me?"

It took all of my will to not look at him because I knew that if I did, I would all too willingly succumb to his charms. Instead, I kept my chin pointed to the left and continued on with my haughty pretense. "What are you going to do to prove your sincerity?"

"I have to prove it?" He asked in disbelief, with such hurt in his voice that it almost broke my heart. I was this close to relenting, when he suddenly reached one hand up to my cheek and turned it to look at him. He was smiling. "How about this?"

Slowly, he propped his head up while bringing mine down. With the utmost of care, he pressed his lips against mine, gently and lovingly.

My heart burst.

I didn't know what to do, so I tried kissing back, though I probably wasn't very good at that. He wasn't being pushy or anything, but as the kiss deepened, he sat up and leaned closer so that my head was now pressed up against the couch. He put one hand around my waist and the other in my hair. My emotions were swirling and I kept my hands in place.

"Gray…" I moaned, slightly out of breath. It was then that he finally ended our kiss, pulling away, but not before giving me one last peck on the lips.

"How's that for sincerity?" He grinned, eyes twinkling as he brushed a stray lock of hair out of my face.

I looked away at first, suddenly feeling extremely self-conscious after having my first kiss stolen by him, though to be honest, you can't really count it as stealing if I kissed back. I stole a glance back at him, and was surprised to see a devious smile on his face. My gaze zeroed in on his lips, and I ducked my chin as I blushed. Where are you looking, Juvia! Before I could get myself together, he spoke again, with a hint of playfulness in his voice.

"Hm? Do you have to think about it?" He asked, closing in on me again until his nose touched mine. "Maybe I wasn't sincere enough then…"

"No no!" I shouted, jutting my chin away quickly to maintain some distance. "You were plenty sincere…" Feeling bad for evading him yet again, I gathered what little courage I had and turned back to face him, nose to nose. "I forgive you, but for the record, I am NOT unreasonable.

I could see that he was about to protest again, and so I stopped him by giving him a quick surprise peck on the lips, then proceeding to bury my burning hot face in his shoulders. "No more arguing. My instincts led me to you, so I do believe that means they work perfectly fine. End of conversation."

He laughed softly into my ear as he wrapped his arms around me. "Alright, alright. You win. Not unreasonable, but even IF you were, I'd still keep you, because you're mine forever."

I nodded my head and clung tightly to him, saying nothing in reply to his statement as I relished the warmth of his embrace.

Because I couldn't.

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Another crash of thunder jolted me awake from the world of dreams, the world where he was still with me, and we had nothing to worry about.

I couldn't bring myself to say anything at that time, to make any promises to him, because I had found out a few days before that I didn't have forever.

My lifespan had been turned into a ticking clock, a timer that only had 5 more years to go.

The doctors couldn't find out what was causing it, but the failing of my optic nerves was somehow affecting my body. After my original sight deadline set at 18, I only had two more years after that to live.

Yet the timer that had been set on my life turned out to make Gray's end faster.

Cruelty; I finally understood the true meaning of that word now.

It was the first time in my entire life that I felt as though I couldn't smile. Even through 17 years of colourblindness, I'd always managed to pull through it all, thinking that as long as I was alive and otherwise physically healthy, that it was already good enough.

But now, even the last thing that motivated me to smile was gone.

That's not true, a sudden realization popped into my head. That's not true at all. You still have Gray, remember?

Had, I thought miserably. I had him, but now he's gone, left me, forever.

But he did it so that I could live.

He was willing to throw his life away, all of his future, in order to secure my own. He'd died for me knowing that I would grieve over his death, yet was happy as long as I would live on, even if I had to do it without him.

What did I ever do to warrant such love?

His love...proven to me through his sacrifice. But I didn't need any proof, I thought bitterly. I already knew how much he treasured me; enough to give me the chance to see the world for what it truly is.

Through his eyes.

My head snapped up and a sudden surge of strength pulled me up to my feet. Despite my long night out, my legs moved forward on their own, powered with determination, as they took me to my apartment.

That was what my sub-consciousness was trying to tell me earlier, why I still have him, why I should continue smiling like I always have. It's what he has left me with, along with all of our photos and memories. It was a part of him...that he wanted to be a part of me.

My hands were shaking as I stuck the key into the door of my apartment. It took me three tries, and when I finally got in, the place was pitch black.

A small part of my mind realized that I didn't actually know what time it was, but a quick look out a window confirmed it to be sometime before dawn. That explained the dark house, since Lucy was most likely sleeping. I didn't bother turning on the lights. Instead, I headed straight to my room and turned on the small lamp beside my table.

And there it was.

Lying on the table were two pieces of paper: a photocopy of Gray's will, since the authorities had taken the real one, and his donor sheet.

My hand was trembling as I slowly reached to place my fingers over his handwriting. Not exactly beautiful, but that was so him, I thought, managing a sad chuckle. The way he would scribble in his last name after having written "Gray" already.

"It's not important ― well ok, kind of ― but as long as people remember that Gray was once here, then I'm good."

The ink smudged abruptly as a tear landed right on his name.

Gray. Gray. Gray.

My fingers clenched together, crinkling the paper, as I let one last tear trickle down my cheek.

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-6 months later-

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"Are you ready?"

"Yeah...I am." I gulped, stretching my hands out in front of me. With the bandages still over my eyes, I could see nothing. Lucy had her hand on my arms, slowly helping me out of the car and to the front of the apartment building.

"This way." She said, guiding me with her voice. "There are steps here, be careful."

"I know." My feet were sure as I placed them one in front of the other, the staircase to the front door all too familiar.

I heard the click of the doorknob, and in I walked. The place still smells like him, I thought, eyes watering slightly beneath the bandages. He's here.

I quickened my pace now, brushing off Lucy's hand of caution as she called for me to slow down. I only had one thing in mind: Gray's room.

I burst through the door, beads of sweat forming on my forehead. My hand was reaching out blindly now as I walked forward to his bed. Finding the soft cushion, I sat myself down, waiting for my heartbeat to slow down, willing for my mind to calm down, before I readied myself.

I had agreed to the surgery and it had taken half a year for my new eyes to steady. The doctor had insisted on removing the bandages in the hospital so that he could do post-removal check-up, but I had denied and checked out in spite of his suggestions. I needed to be HERE, because here was where he was.

I heard Lucy's foosteps as she walked in, slowly sitting herself beside me. "Are you ready?" She asked again, placing her hands to the sides of my head.

My voice was quivering, but I hope she heard the sure tone that I wanted to convey. "I'm ready."

Taking the utmost of care, she gently unraveled my bandage. As the layers began to deplete and loosen, I started to feel a sense of light source. Once the bandages were all off, I placed my fingers tentatively over my eyelids.

"Are you okay?" Lucy asked, voice full of concern. "Open your eyes gradually, not too fast. Remember what the doctor said."

I nodded, unable to speak as my mind prepared my eyes for this. I squeezed my eyes together, and then opened them, inch by inch, until I could see again.

It was amazing.

This was what he wanted me to see, I thought, feeling my new eyes water. This was what I've been missing out on, for 17 years of my life.

There were colours EVERYWHERE, though I didn't know the names of them. It wasn't just my old black and white world anymore.

I took a few moments to just blink my eyes, trying to get everything to focus. I could finally see Lucy again, with new colours on her face now, staring at me with worry evident in her eyes.

"How is it? Can you see properly? How many fingers am I holding up?"

I rolled my eyes at her rapid firing of questions, and was pleased that that specific action didn't hurt. "It's good. I can see now, though things are still kind of woozy. Three Lucy, I'm not a child." Then, I paused, only to voice out a whisper. "Do you have the box?"

She nodded, and handed over a small cardboard box. "It's all in here, like you requested. Do you need some time alone?"

I accepted the box and nodded my head.

"I'll just be in the living room. Call me if you need me." She said, before standing up and exiting the room.

As she closed the door, I directed my attention to the box. In it was everything that Gray had left behind: his personal belongings, the presents I gave him, and the photos that we took together.

My eyes zeroed in on this one picture where we had squished our faces together. Seeing this enlarged view, I finally had a chance to understand what he was talking about before. My hair, that was once just a shade slightly lighter than my eyes, was in fact "blue", and the dark gray eyes that I used to see in the mirror was actually a deeper "sapphire" colour.

Just like how Gray told you.

Gray, I thought, my fingers moving over his picture. He was just as handsome, if not more, than how I used to see him through those colourless eyes. His short black hair that spiked out in random directions; the only thing that I had missed out on were his eyes.

My left hand hit something, and I looked to see a small box. The handwriting on top told me that Gray had written it, but I'd never seen it before. Curious, I opened it to find a small card above a round compact.

"To my dear Juvia,

By the time you see this card, I trust that you have already accepted the surgery and are back in full health. Please don't blame Natsu for not showing you this earlier; I left him a note telling him to do this as a last favour for me. With this compact, I hope you can see how well your new eyes fit. It's also a locket, with a picture that I thought had captured the best in both of us, placed in the bottom. I hope that you can still remember me as your black and white world expands, as you begin to see more colours, colours other than gray. I love you.

-Gray"

I felt like crying again, my breath quickening and my chest constricting, but I pushed that urge away. I had promised that I would be strong, that I wouldn't shed anymore tears with these new eyes of mine.

Shaking my head clear, I put the card aside as I held up the compact. It was quite exquisite, with ice crystals and water droplets carved into the sides. It's the two of us, I thought, running my finger over the markings. The engravings symbolized our bond, our love, and how we would always be connected. My finger reached the front and I opened the compact ― careful to not look in the mirror yet ― only to gasp in surprise at what I saw.

It was a picture of the both of us from when I first told him the truth. We were on a date when I finally confessed to him about my condition, though most people wouldn't really count it as a date if we stayed at his house the entire time. He knew, I realized, my hand flying to my mouth in apprehension. He had it all planned out. From the moment I told him the truth, he had already made up his mind to trade his life for mine.

I shut my eyes, anguish and sorrow overflowing within me. I don't deserve him, I thought, and he definitely didn't deserve to die for me.

But you do and he did, my subconsciousness told me, and he'll always live on, as a part of you now.

A part of me?

I opened my eyes and gathered up my courage. Though the colours of our eyes' were essentially the same, even when I was colour blind I was still able to differentiate the slight difference in shade. My grip on the compact tightened and I gulped, readying myself both mentally and physically, before finally looking into the mirror.

What I saw was a pair of dark blue eyes, similar to what I saw in the photos before, but as I took a closer look, the eyes began to look a little more foreign, yet a little more familiar.

I brought the compact a little closer to peer into my new, blue eyes; Gray's eyes.

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Hey everyone! As usual, how was it?

Sorry for the inactivity here...there were lots of things going on with my life (school, work, other projects to finish) and thus I haven't been able to update here recently.

This is my long promised sequel to Colours Other Than Gray. I originally wanted to post this on Christmas as a gift for everyone but sad to say, I did not have access to my files on the 25th and thus, could not have it up in time. It's just a little over midnight where I am, and I haven't slept yet (was finishing up edits on this), so to me, I technically posted this only one day late XD

Merry Christmas everyone :D

I hope to post another story around New Year's, just as an apology for being so inactive and as a greeting to the year of 2012.

See you all soon! To those of you who live in Canada, have fun boxing week shopping :D

-Rukagi