Late Christmas present for KTMrshall :) I hope I managed to surprise you! Sorry it's not fluffier – but you know me…I like to make my characters go through things before they get their happy ending! …if you can call this a happy ending. It's bittersweet. (KT - I fell out with Bert so…what can you expect? :P) I know it's out of character, but its fanfiction :) and we never really did see this side of them did we ;)

It's like you're screaming, and no one can hear
You almost feel ashamed
That someone could be that important
That without them, you feel like nothing
No one will ever understand how much it hurts
You feel hopeless; like nothing can save you
And when it's over, and it's gone
You almost wish that you could have all that bad stuff back
So that you could have the good
Rihanna ft Calvin Harris - We Found Love

"I didn't think you'd come." Bert smiled as the familiar shadow appeared next to his on the path. Without moving his eyes from the line of ants making their way through the dirt, he smiled and added quietly, "How's St. Petersburg?"

"Cold. And everyone speaks Russian." Mary replied coolly, making Bert look up. When his eyes met hers, Bert suddenly realized that things between them weren't as settled as he'd hoped. Memories of their argument flashed in front of his eyes, taunting him. It had been a long time coming, he supposed, and they'd both said a lot of things they didn't mean. But the bigger problem was the words they had meant.

I don't know why I wait around for you! No other man would put up with it! You know, I don't have a clue what you do when you aren't here!

Then don't put up with it! I perfectly sure I can manage by myself!

Why can't you just stop? The world would still turn without Mary bloody Poppins sticking her nose in!

And what exactly do you think would keep me here? I don't have anything worth staying for!

He couldn't remember what started it, but he thinks it had something to do with his 'are you sure you can't stay?' on her last visit. He always asked her that before she left. And her answer was always the same. You know I can't. It hurt, the knowledge that she'd never stay with him. And he couldn't follow her either. There was no room in her life for jack-of-all-trades. But something…something about this time was different. There had been more pleading in his question than usual when he'd walked up behind her and wrapped his arms around her waist. For some unknown reason, he'd felt rejection at her usual answer. He wasn't himself after that, so when Mary had asked him if he was okay after dinner, he wasn't surprised at how quickly the fight had escalated.

Then don't come back!

Maybe I won't.

Their argument had been heated, with all thoughts of propriety thrown out the window. He was angry, but she was furious. If any of her charges had seen her, they wouldn't have believed that the screeching harpy was their nanny. Mary Poppins was prim and proper, and even a little haughty if you weren't lucky enough to see behind the mask…she certainly didn't throw things at the man in front of her. With her, arguments were nipped in the bud immediately, not long, drawn-out affairs that made the neighbours raise their eyebrows.

But it was her Tuesday off, and she wasn't Mary Poppins. She was just Mary.

And Mary was taking no prisoners.

He doesn't know how long they fought for, or even what they were fighting about by the time she stormed out of his kitchen. It only took a moment for the reality to sink in. She was walking away from him. And he'd told her not to come back. The sheer panic that accompanied that thought spurred him forwards, propelling him towards the front door. Rushing out onto the street in a manner that he's sure she'd chastise him for if she was still talking to him, he'd frantically seached for her unmistakable figure. Catching sight of her as she turned a corner, he bolted after her, silently praying to all the gods he didn't really believe in that he'd catch her before she vanished.

However, as he rounded the corner at full speed, he hit a wall. Literally.

Clutching his bloody nose, he stumbled backwards to gape at the scene in front of him. He knew Mary could throw up walls and put defenses around her heart like no one he'd ever met, but he'd always meant it metaphorically. It seemed that after all these years she could still surprise him.

After a moment, the wall began to shimmer and disappeared. As if it had never been there. Which it hadn't, not really. It was just Mary and her magic. They came hand in hand, you couldn't have one without the other. And she couldn't escape the magic…not that she'd ever want to. It was a part of her, inherent, and if she wasn't practically perfect, what was she?

As the wall disappeared, he caught sight of a small black blob quickly soaring across the sky. Cursing loudly, he kicked a tin that was lying on the pavement. How did they end up like this? Stalking off towards the park, the only thought in his head had been escape.

If she was going to run away, then so was he.

A quiet cough quickly brought him back to the present. This wasn't a month ago, this was now. And he was still faced with a rather angry Mary. Perfect people weren't rule by their emotions, they could remain detached, impartial and always came to the best conclusion. Things were always left perfectly. Nothing was ever left unfinished.

That's why she was practically perfect. The tape measure had read that ever since the day she'd met him. And now he thinks she's starting to resent him for it.

Smiling sadly, he offered her his arm in a silent peace offering. He was slightly shocked when she took his arm wordlessly, even going so far as to lay her head on his shoulder. Taking this as a good sign, he began to lead her on a walk around the park, deciding that heading home might be a bit presumptuous. After a few moments, Bert broke the silence, "I don't know what I would've done if you didn't show up."

"You'd have waited for me." Mary answered in a whisper, sounding almost afraid. "I almost didn't come. I was over two hours late. Yet you still waited."

Chancing a glance downwards, Bert whispered, "I'll always wait for you, Mary Poppins."

"I know." She sighed in reply. Stopping suddenly, Mary turned around and stepped in front of Bert. As he looked down at her in confusion, she quickly glanced around to make sure that they were alone. When she saw that they were, she grabbed his hand and dragged him into the shade, behind the rows of trees that lined the path. Bert raised his eyebrows in surprise and bit back a laugh. Normally he was the one pulling stunts like this while she followed with a laugh. Rarely the other way around.

"Now what are you –" Before he could remark about her strange behaviour, Mary cut him off by standing on her toes and pressing her lips to his. Without missing a beat, Bert responded to her kiss. One hand found her waist and pulled her closer, relishing in the way her smaller body fit snugly against his, while the other found its way to her hair and made quick work of her bun. She could kill him for it later.

Eventually, he pulled back to let her breathe. Resting his forehead against hers, he smiled down at her. He didn't know where she was going with this, but he knew she'd get to her point eventually. Mary closed her eyes and fisted her hands in his shirt, "You know I'd stay if I could."

As quickly as it had appeared, the smile dropped from Bert's face. His hands left her waist, pulling her into a tight embrace. Placing a chaste kiss into her hair, Bert sighed and held her tighter, "I know."

They were never going to be free from her duties. It was a reality they had to accept. The only way out was to go their separate ways. And that wasn't an option. If he wanted her, he'd need to deal with the magic, the snatched moments and hope that the changing winds would bring her back his way. It was all he could do.

"I love you." Mary whispered into his shoulder, wishing that for once she could decide what she wanted to do. Many of her charges had said it to her before – I want to be like you Mary Poppins, no one can tell you what to do – and she'd smiled like a good nanny should and changed the subject. But she always died a little more inside.

Mary Poppins. Practically perfect in every way. Practically perfect. She shouldn't have these feelings, far less let herself be ruled by them. She should be prim and proper, and should teach her young charges etiquette and, most of all, respect. When she left, things should be perfect. And they were…most of the time. But leaving here…leaving Bert…that wasn't perfect.

She was a slave to the wind. And until it stopped blowing she always would be.

"Love you too." Bert answered gruffly as he stared off into the distance, watching as the flags on the horizon began to sway menacingly. It wouldn't be long before the wind reached them. And then she'd have to leave. Holding onto her that little bit tighter, he repeated in a whisper, "I love you too."

Okay, when I started this (many moons ago!) it was supposed to be all light and fluffy and…not so sad. Why am I suddenly writing so much angst? Really, I'm not a depressing person, am I KT? See, I'm not. :) My plot bunnies all seem to be depressing now. That sucks. Someone send me some fluffy ones?

Oh, and if anyone's watching my other fics – go check my profile for the why I was gone so long, PND should be up before New Year (if not prod me until I post) and possibly with a tag…BttW should be up end of January at the latest and EPR should be up around about then too :)

HesMines xx